It's not fair. Akon gets to have multiple wives. I don't. Akon gets to hump teenage girls on stage and throw teenage boys off. I don't. Akon gets to write a hit song about how he didn't respond to the press furor about his wanton ways because he was on tour with Gwen Stefani. I don't, and I wasn't. I bet you don't get to do any of these things either. Now Akon says he's about "to break into a genre that no black artist, producer or writer ever broke into, ever": Country. I'm worried he's going to do this by going back in time to the early sixties and killing Ray Charles. Based on his claim to already have a hit single under an alias, I keep checking Charles' Wikipedia page to see if he already did.
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