Plies is in there, too. This will prove to be important later.

So I decided to click through to this guy's channel page, and—surprise!—all of his videos have two stars or less. But he hasn't let that get him down; video No. 2 was purporting to be a leak from Eminem's new album. A song featuring Eminem, Dr. Dre, and 50 Cent? Well, no. What I got instead was a track that succeeded in bringing together Eminem's first catchphrase, speeded-up Daft Punk, and a kid getting hit in the head with a soccer ball:

To be fair, it's much more tolerable than anything 50 could do at this point.

This guy also tried to start the Plies-roll, in which a YouTube user looking for new Dr. Dre material was treated to a song by Plies:

Unfortunately, this prankish behavior didn't take.

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be like ChangeStyle, living in hope of fooling people into hearing his message through the selective deployment of freeze-frames. It's sort of like a spammer, but without the Viagra (unless that's in later videos—I didn't watch them all). Part prankster, part Plies fan, part "person with way too much time on their hands," ChangeStyle feels like he can only communicate with the YouTube community by freaking/faking them out. But why? Is it the gratification one can only get from comments like "not only does it sound horrible its out of time dickhead!" and "i cant believe this is fo real, but for some reason im laughin my ass off"? Or is dude really, really bored? Because if he is, I think he should just stick to one thing—the Pliesroll—and run with it. He could be Internet famous by, like, tomorrow if he just focused.

ChangeStyle's Channel [YouTube]

Last time we heard much from Eminem—in 2005—he served up a mixed bag of various bad signs, including insiders mumbling that he'd lost his ability to make hits somewhere. There are already some warning signs of impending disaster, with Elton John reportedly jetting to Detroit in order to work on some sort of duet/continued flogging of their show of solidarity at the 2001 Grammys. Still, Dr. Dre is taking care of the beats and apparently Eminem is focused on returning strong.

Detroit hip-hop artist Trick Trick, whose upcoming album "The Villain" includes contributions from Eminem, said the material he's heard is "old school with a new twist" — and finds the rapper embracing his early musical persona.

"I can tell you this much: Slim Shady is back. Not Marshall Mathers," he said. "Slim Shady, that jackass everybody fell in love with? Yeah, he's back."...

Eminem will arrive at a pop-music world in transition. Hip-hop sales are down, club music is morphing, the Top 40 demographic is older. His own fan base has matured: The class of '99 has its 30s in sight.

Despite that, said radio industry observer Sean Ross, the rapper will likely enjoy big-time buzz. At his peak, after all, Eminem "was the Rolling Stones of 1975 to a 17-year-old."

"It's certainly gotten harder, but at this moment, there's nothing else so phenomenal that he wouldn't get attention," Ross said.

To me, hearing the same misogyny and random bursts of juvenile hate speech from a 36-year-old man sounds like the worst listening experience ever. But who can explain the market these days? Maybe you can:

Eminem hits the mic again [Detroit Free Press]

Jarbou claimed that him and a friend approached Eminem who was standing at a urinal to greet him but were turned away by the rapper's bodyguard.


Jarbou claimed that as he was trying to explain to the bodyguard that they wanted to meet Eminem, the rapper stepped back from urinal and punched him.


Jarbou would drop the charges a few days after filing the complaint but according to The Detroit News, Jarbou filed a lawsuit against Eminem on Thursday (July 3) at the Oakland County Circuit Court.


Jarbou claims the incident has made him "undergo physical pain and suffering, emotional distress, ongoing serious injuries requiring medical treatment" and "embarrassment, humiliation, medical expenses, wage loss and other economic and non-economic" damages.

Come on, dude. You don't see the bartender suing about the dick in the tip cup.

Eminem Slapped With Assault Lawsuit, Man Claims Rapper Attacked Him At Strip Club [Six Shot]

Then again, with Coldplay off singing about the French Revolution and fine art, it's possible Keane could step into the heart-shaped hole they're leaving behind, just as Creed stuck up for monotheism when Pearl Jam got qawwali on it in 1998. Keane's b-side cover of the Cult's "She Sells Sanctuary" does sound like the U2 II (or Coldplay 1.5) of Jimmy Iovine's dreams.

The band swears that it's sticking to its piano-dominated sound, but I wouldn't be surprised if these guys wind up pulling the inverse of Queen's "no keyboards! no keyboards! ok, keyboards" shift sooner rather than later.

New albums by U2, Eminem, and Black Eyed Peas could bring a year-end bang [EW]
Keane - She Sells Sanctuary [YouTube]

Mandela's bash will bring in some cash for his 46664 campaign, set up to raise awareness of Aids in Africa, and the Star reports that the two most successful British women in music today, Amy Winehouse and Leona Lewis, will be headlining the event.

The naughty and nice of pop will be joined by Queen, Annie Lennox, the Sugababes, the aforementioned Simple Minds and many more, including: "heavyweights from the world of politics and sport, including Bill Clinton, 61, and Oprah Winfrey, 54."

But why is Eminem the rumored participant? Wouldn't an MC of African descent be a little more poignant? Sure, Eminem's one of the few successful rappers who talks about using drugs instead of selling them, but I'd think a 90-year-old South African president would rather watch Will Smith get jiggy with it than watch Eminem yell about his mom.

Winehouse, Winfrey confirmed for Mandela celebrations [Guardian]

• "Ken Kaniff (skit)" from Eminem's The Marshall Mathers LP
If I'm in a sympathetic mood, I can look past ridiculous statements like "But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose!" and "radio won't even play my jams!" and see Eminem's second album as an engaging piece of crude meta, even if I find his debut funnier and less emo. But one track that sure wasn't going to be mentioned in that VH1 Classic Albums episode was the skit that went "Oh Violent J, don't bite it! Don't be violent with it, just suck it...nice and slow. Uhhhh! Oh, fuck yeah, now give it back to Shaggy, he was suckin' it better..." "Ken Kaniff (skit)" didn't even succeed in reducing the amount of Juggalos in America, proving its worthlessness.

• "My Ding-A-Ling" from Any Chuck Berry Compilation With "My Ding-A-Ling" On It
1972 was the worst year in the history of rock and roll, as it's the only year in which Chuck Berry had a No. 1 hit with "My Ding-A-Ling." I have yet to hear an explanation of how this happened that doesn't make me want to take a humongous shit on America's head. If it wasn't his only No. 1 hit, it wouldn't be stuck on his otherwise sterling retrospectives. Is there anyone who only wants a Chuck Berry comp if it has "My Ding-A-Ling" on it? There are so many things that Americans aren't told about our history. Why isn't this one of them?

• "No Quarter" from Led Zeppelin's Houses Of The Holy
I have reason to believe that this song was only included because Led Zeppelin was worried that music fans would start to expect too much from them if they made both the first and second best albums of all time. Also, the portion of their audience made up of drugged-out idiots with no taste who like their sludge interminable and unfettered by hooks might feel alienated by the otherwise beautiful LP.

Terrible songs from great albums [MSNBC]

Men in the first group, exposed to overtly sexist Hip-Hop lyrics, via Eminem's "Kill You," and the second group, exposed to Beastie Boys' "Sabotage," a song without any misogynistic lyrics, expressed stronger sexist attitudes after exposure to the music than those in the control group, which was not exposed to rap music at all.

"It's like hearing the word 'chocolate' and suddenly having a craving for a candy bar," says Dr. Cobb. "Sexism is imbedded in the culture we live in and hearing rap music can spontaneously activate pre-existing awareness of sexist beliefs. Rap music, fairly or unfairly, has become associated with misogyny, and even minimal exposure to it can automatically activate these mental associations and increase their application, at least temporarily.

"At worst, we could conclude that rap music might exacerbate pre-existing tendencies," he continued, "but so too can other genres of music and varied forms of entertainment. There is not much evidence in our study to support an argument in favor of censorship."

But let's not let that stop anyone from making one within the week on one of the nation's finer right-leaning chat shows. Women taking part in the study had a poor reaction to "Sabotage" even without the naughty words, while the more virulent language of "Kill You" provoked them into "a more careful interpretation and rejection of the premises in the song"; gents, on the other hand, didn't really devote much time towards self-examination or rejecting their own shitty attitudes, which should surprise no one and can be chalked up to planet-wide male privilege more than hip-hop, sending science types right back to the chicken-egg bad behavior questions that lead to these essentially specious studies in the first place. Still, looks like you're off the hook for the moment, hip-hop, unless the patriarchy gets dismantled before your sales dip too low for anyone to care about your effect on society.

NC State U Study Connects Hip-Hop/Sexism [AllHipHop]

"Slim-Fast is a program that can really work for someone like Eminem; it's a doable and flexible approach," a spokesperson tells OK!. "Slim-fast would love to offer Eminem product and assistance to help him become a potential S-F success story."

Here's the plan:

Breakfast: Slim·Fast Optima Cappuccino Delight shake; plus a banana

Snack: Slim·Fast Optima Blueberry Muffin Bar and an apple or pear

Lunch: Combine a Slim·Fast Optima French Vanilla shake with ½ roast beef sandwich + piece of fruit

Snack: ¼ cup of hummus with 1 cup baby carrots and 2 sticks of low-fat string cheese

Dinner: Garden salad with fat-free dressing; barbequed chicken with veggies and wild rice; strawberries with 1/2 cup fat-free frozen yogurt

Snack: Mini bag of popcorn

Drinks: 8+ glasses of calorie free beverages, preferably water

You know, everyone is LOL'ing over this because it's Eminem, and it's probably balancing some sort of sad cosmic-scale karma shit that for a change it's a man being hounded over his slight fluctuations in mass by the gossip rags and their fucked-up body image politics. But at this point, Em should get even fatter just to spite everyone involved. Own it, man. Take back your gut.

Slim Fast Shady [OK!]

The deeply depressed star refuses to stop binge eating and gorges on calorie-busting Mexican takeaways and heart-clogging fillet steak.

In her new book Debbie, reckons her son is barely recognisable these days. She says: "He's let his blond hair grow out so everything but the ends are dark. His face has broken out in pimples and he's put on so much weight that he's causing all sorts of other health problems for himself.

"Since childhood he's suffered bouts of pneumonia. He's always had throat infections and he's asthmatic. His diet can't help. I worry about his health all the time. He's always had high blood pressure and his cholesterol levels must be sky high. He orders fillet steak takeout from an expensive restaurant almost every evening.

"I dread to think what his bills are — he pays for everyone hanging around the house."

Someone get this guy a Boflex and 10cc's of Proactiv, stat. Us too, while you're at it.

The Real Grim Shady [The Sun]

Well, MTV sez that TMZ (where we will all one day get our "music news") sez that Marshall was laid up due to "a serious heart condition and severe pneumonia," and also that his "weight has exceeded 200 lbs.," which we assume was mostly thrown in there to make those of us with post-holidays blog ass feel worse. Anyway, get well soon Em. Also, despite those rumors of new material in '08, you should stay out of drafty studios while recuperating. We wouldn't want you putting out another Encore while delirious with fever.

Eminem Rushed To Hospital [MTV}

Sonically, one of Nah Right's commenters calls it without even bothering to download it: "generic eminem production (snares too loud, moody strings)." As for Em, he's still mugging in silly cartoon accents (quasi-Spanish nonsense here, if that matters), slouching on his storehouse of meta self-referentiality (getting defensive over that infamous clip of a young Em letting the N-word slip), dropping kindergarten-restroom scatology (something about peeing, or drinking pee, I couldn't be bothered to parse it before noon to be honest), and otherwise obscuring his own technical gifts under 10 tons of shtick. Even in low-bitrate, miniature form, it's hardly as lazily offensive as "Just Lose It," but has any other rapper's legacy been self-tarnished in such record time?

New Eminem [Nah Right]

Typically, Apple collects 99 cents each time an iPod owner downloads a song, with Apple paying 70 cents of that amount to the recording label, Sloane said. The recording label, in turn, typically pays 9.1 cents to the music publisher, he said.

In their complaint filed Monday, Eminem's music publisher and copyright manager, Eight Mile Style LLC and Martin Affiliated LLC, allege that although Apple pays a portion of the revenues it collects from Eminem downloads to recording giant Universal Music Group, Eight Mile Style and Martin Affiliated have never authorized Universal to allow the downloads.

"Eight Mile and Martin have demanded that Apple cease and desist its reproduction and distribution and Apple has refused," the complaint alleges.

An Apple spokesman had no immediate comment. ...

Sloane said a related issue is how the 60.9 cents the recording label has left after it pays the music publisher should be divided between the recording label and the artist. If downloads are treated as licensing agreements, the 60.9 cents would be split equally, Sloane said. But if a download is treated as a sale, which is typical, the artist only gets a royalty, or a much smaller share of the 60.9 cents, he said.

We're sure this isn't the first time that Apple will be caught in the crossfire between labels and artists, as everyone tries to grab as much money as they can before the lights, finally, go out. But at least Eminem has someone else to be mad at on his next album aside from Kim Mathers, now, right?

Eminem suit targets Apple [Detroit News]

UPDATE: As gregcoff noted, the speed of our modern age has allowed Spratt to post a follow-up track—which is, in a case of meta crashing down upon itself, all about the furor he's caused—on his MySpace page.

Kyle Spratt - Slim Sellout [MP3, link expired; via Nah Right]
Kyle Spratt [MySpace]
Fan Steals Kim Mathers' Phone, Calls Eminem [wxyz.com]

"I can't stand him. (He's) an absolute horrible person," Mathers said. "I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or whenever I hear his name."

She categorized sex with her twice ex-husband as "bad," and said "he's not very well endowed." She added when it came to sex, "(you better have) a little blue pill, or else it does not work."

This may seem like a bad sign for the on-again, off-again couple, but we're going to need a few more years of this before we can believe that the Mathers' love-flame has been extinguished. In many ways, they're like a stateside version of Andy and Florrie Capp—carrying on all through the night, wandering around in public with little substance-abuse bubbles over their heads, and eventually making up by the third panel. Then again, Andy never wrote a song about stuffing Florrie in the back of the trunk and cutting her throat.

Kim Mathers slams Eminem in radio interview [Detroit News]

And, of course, to whup the crap out of that fur seal who once looked at him funny.

Eminem - No Apologies [MP3, link expired]
Eminem - No Apologies [Nah Right]

Fifty years from now, when historians try to pinpoint the exact moment when hip-hop videos stopped being fun and instead became a series of repetitive, reflexively melodramatic movie parodies, they'll look at this clip—in which Eminem dresses up as Hannibal Lecter and 50 boards the Con Air plane—and say, "Yep. This is pretty much when it happened."

Eminem, 50 Cent & Lloyd Banks - You Don't Know [YouTube] (thanks to Nah Right)

Now that we've watched last night's prelude to Game 2 of the St. Louis-Detroit World Series, featuring Eminem's new song "You Don't Know," we have one question: Why does Eminem sound like he's swallowing each of his words as soon as he spits it out? (Okay, one more inquiry: is this the only time in his life that Cardinals manager Tony La Russa will have anything even vaguely resembling "street cred"?)

Eminem, 50 Cent, LLoyd Banks & Cashis - You Don't Know [YouTube]
Related: This Is Our Commercial: Detroit Radio Station Attacks Mellencamp's Singing Of "Our Country" At World Series [Jalopnik]

- Aerosmith will celebrate the 4th of July with a concert featuring both Dr. Phil and the Boston Pops. If Janie still has a gun, she should probably use it now. [Link via Billboard]

- Eminem returns to the stage, teaming up with America's second-favorite homophobic rapper, Busta Rhymes. [Link via MTV News]

- Thanks to Billy Bragg, MySpace no longer owns the rights to more than 10,000 middling emo songs. [Link via Digital Music News]

- Vince Gill is recording a quadruple album, which is almost enough to give us a quadruple bypass. [Link via liveDaily]