Idolator

Last night, Tyra Banks commanded the stringbean drones populating this season of America's Next Top Model (seriously, when they run to Tyra's glaring portrait to read their new assignment off the ticker—out loud, in unison, shrieking—I half expect it to read "DRINK THIS KOOL-AID") to become the living embodiments of America's most memorable music genres: R&B, metal, emo, pop, country, folk, punk, house and... grunge! I normally would leave all ANTM analysis to animated-GIF maestro Rich Juzwiak, but when am I ever going to get to riff on glamorous trash like this again. Click the photos to see how each model represented her assigned genre. [Photos via The CW]

Last night, a few dozen UHF viewers got a little taste of international glamour at the World Music Awards, where America's pop elite and a bunch of foreigners were airlifted to Monte-Carlo to prove that middle-aged white people awkwardly bumping asses to "Ayo Technology" transcends borders. Or something. The WMAs' Model U.N. included winners Rihanna, DJ David Guetta, 50 Cent, Mika, and basically whoever else had bothered to turn up, but it turned out we were the real winners, because the show was really celebrating us for "buying albums and legally downloading." (RIAA propaganda is apparently also universal.) See, we thought the real winners were lovers of exaggerated comedy accents; if you were a fan of frighteningly stern supermodels who sound like they're hunting moose and squirrel or beefy rugby players who sound like Charo, this was the awards show for you.

Parents who hesitate telling their kids to turn down that damn rock music because they listened to it themselves must be relieved when their offspring choose something smart and punky, but unthreatening. Like Paramore, who played at Roseland in New York City last night and who have embraced their parent-friendly reputation. Lead guitarist Zac Farro even told MTV, ""For every five 13-year-old girls, there's a dad with them. And they're like, 'Well, they dragged me to this concert, but I just like it. I'm still gonna be out there singing the words.' " But for every 13-year-old who rocks out with Mom and Dad, there is another who wants to be met around the corner.

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So last night was the Idolator first-anniversary party, and as we mentioned, it featured sets by Monarch and My Teenage Stride (above, with lots of lights). Other highlights: a Jess-curated iPod mix, a few people who actually showed up because they were fans of the site, and lots of beer. That last part is why my walk down last night's memory cul-de-sac is going to be pretty brief (although I would like to give props to Jess for including Janet Jackson's criminally underplayed "When I Think Of You" on the night's mix). But! Thankfully, Nikola Tamindzic was on hand, capturing it all on camera and reminding me of the number of times that I kind of made an ass of myself to people I'd never met before.

The Pitchfork Music Festival, held in Chicago's exceptionally lovely Union Park, was this weekend's other weekend-long rock marathon—and it was an exceptionally well-run collection of 'Fork-approved artists, sunshine, and opportunities to buy actual records. You can read about Stephen Malkmus and Bob Nastanovich busting out "Trigger Cut" and the heroic reception that Of Montreal garnered in lots of other places, but I had a more pressing question: What do fans of the site look like when they're AFK? I grabbed photographer/former Idolator guestblogger MTS and we ventured into the crowd.