Gene Simmons - Idolator

Posts Tagged “Gene Simmons”

Five Kiss Songs That Could Easily Be Turned Into Jingles

The "writing ad-ready songs for the enjoyment of viewers at home and the delight of network accounting departments" reality show Jingles has had its debut, which was scheduled for later this month, pushed back by CBS, but that isn't stopping the network from letting the world know that Kiss bassist and entrepreneur Gene Simmons is going to be one of the show's judges. (I'm guessing he's going to take the acid-tongued "Simon" spot on the panel.) This caused me to think about how Simmons' body of work could itself be employed for the purposes of selling crap that people don't really don't need, via the time-tested "out of context lyric used to shill for a slightly incongruous product" method that so many ads employ these days. Five possible examples of how you could hear Kiss songs during breaks in Law & Order reruns after the jump. More »

12:45 PM on Thu Jul 17 2008
By Maura Johnston
427 views, 5 comments

Latest by mike a: "God Gave Rock & Roll To You" - Cornerstone Festival more »

it's not wise to put things in gene's mouth

Is Gene Simmons Really Pissed Off At Radiohead?

Several Web sites are reporting that Gene Simmons is angry at Radiohead, based on this quote: "The record industry is dead. "It's six feet underground and unfortunately the fans have done this. They've decided to download and file share. There is no record industry around so we're going to wait until everybody settles down and becomes civilized. As soon as the record industry pops its head up we'll record new material." OK, so greedy fans are keeping us from songs that rhyme "hot" with "got," but what does that have to do with Radiohead? Are we taking his disappointment with the band on faith? More »

12:30 PM on Thu Jun 19 2008
By Anthony Miccio
1,307 views, 35 comments

Latest by cheesebubble: That he won't just shut up and go away makes KISS grow less relevant and more like a bad Village People/Rocky Horror nightmare. Gene is just trying to hide the fact that he and his elderly bandmates pander to an more »

bring back the ankh warrior!

Kiss Plans Reality Show To Find Replacements For The Whole Band

Kiss is fun to see live, sure, but who hasn't thought they could use replacements for Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley? With all the hip surgery and facelifts, they've seen better days. And now that it's been established that people don't care who's hiding behind the make-up, Gene and Paul are thinking about getting out of the band and letting America pick who should be the new Starchild, Demon, Spaceman, and Kitty Cat. While I definitely would need a lot of exercise to fit into Paul's leotard, I'm already practicing my "'WOAH-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" I can't play a power chord without strutting around, guys! I even act the fool when I play Guitar Hero. And I know you've already got some wigs I could use. More »

1:30 PM on Mon Jun 9 2008
By Anthony Miccio
2,922 views, 6 comments

Latest by tigerpop: Who even needs the real thing anymore? We already have Mini Kiss. more »

kissyfaces

Gene Simmons: Lover, Fighter, Condoleeza Rice Fan

"U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may have attended just four rock concerts in her life, but the rock band Kiss apparently thinks she is pretty cool. After a day-long international conference on Iraq, Rice was dining Thursday evening with Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt at a 19th-century villa when a call came in that Kiss was in the Nordic capital on a tour and wanted to see her, aides said. ... Rice and her entourage returned to their hotel and gathered with the rock stars in a conference room where photos were taken of the occasion — without the band members wearing their trademark black-and-white facial make-up." Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Gene asked Condi how she would have replied to his "how do you feel about whores?" essay contest. [Reuters]

1:30 PM on Fri May 30 2008
By Maura Johnston
234 views, 3 comments

Latest by Silverfuture: I would totally watch that awkward and embarrassing sex tape... more »

for the literary strutter

Former Schoolteacher Gene Simmons Assigns 200-Word Essay On Whores

Usually, if you wanted Gene Simmons on your voicemail, all you had to do is tell one of his security people that you'd like to blow him. Now there's a more hygenic way to get the God Of Thunder's attention: write 200 words about whether or not you like prostitution! In order to promote his upcoming book on the subject Ladies Of The Night, Gene is asking for his more literate fans to provide him with a 200-word "essay" offering their own take (my advice to would-be winners? I'd go with "pro"). The finest blurb will win its writer various Gene Simmons products and a "personalized digital voicemail recording." "IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS!" says Phoenix Books. Better than an STD, I guess. More »

2:15 PM on Mon May 19 2008
By Anthony Miccio
448 views, Comment

damage control?

Gene Simmons Now Claiming He's Been Having Passionless, Unnerving Sex For Decades

Sex tape terrorist Gene Simmons is attempting to explain away the lovemaking session that scarred us forever (link, as always, most assuredly NSFW) when it leaked to a wholly unprepared Internet last week by claiming that the VHS abomination is "decades old" and has long been in the clutches of an "entity" who has tried to "blackmail and extort" Simmons in the past with the threat of revealing to the world the guy enjoys artificially enhanced blondes, the missionary position, and leaving his shirt on during coitus. More »

5:10 PM on Tue Feb 26 2008
By Jess Harvell
2,399 views, 3 comments

Latest by loudersoft: The real question: is the bimmed-out blonde also decades old? As I recall, she's a current spokesmodel for an energy drink in Australia and is only something like 19 or 20 years old. If this tape were decades more »

(hopefully not) baby makin' music

Gene Simmons' Sex Playlist: What's His Butt-Rock Backup Tune When It's Time To Get His Tongue Waggling?

jess@idolator: Nothing going on this morning, eh?
maura@idolator: Ugh. Just the [alleged] Gene Simmons sex tape. [Ed. Note: Link not safe for ANYTHING, let alone work.]
maura@idolator: Did you hear what song was playing in the background?
maura@idolator: (I didn't watch; I just read about it.) [Ed. Note: Riiiiiiight.]
jess@idolator: I did not, no.
maura@idolator: "I Want To Know What Love Is"
jess@idolator: Well I mean who hasn't "made love" to that?
maura@idolator: I wonder what else gets Gene in the mood?

Good question, Maura! (Even if normal folks would rather imagine the family members of their choice getting it on atop a pile of newly dead bodies than think of Gene Simmons in (makeup-free) flagrante.) Since "I Want To Know What Love Is" clocks in at around 5:00 and the tape lasts a respectable (if not Sting-level) 10:00, one must assume that Gene had a second song picked to round out his 1/6th of an hour spent in the act of physical love with his Australian energy drink spokeslady. But what was it?

9:15 AM on Wed Feb 20 2008
By Jess Harvell
2,145 views, 25 comments

Latest by Herman Menderchuk: Just wait until the Ted Nugentsex tape comes out. You just know the Nuge cranks up a continuous loop of "Wango Tango"/"Wang Dang Sweet Poontang." And after he's done making sweet love down by the fire, he kills a bull more »

polls

The Future Of Music Videos: Do We Really Want To See Kid Rock's Pit Stains In High-Definition?

As many of you already know, American television is going entirely ~~high-definition~~^* digital in 2009, which now means the opening half of this sentence has nothing to do with the technology of high-definition TV's promising us a world where we'll be able to count the nose hairs on our favorite stars in real time and without the aid of gossip blog paparazzi snaps. Maura recently converted to HD herself, and though certain music videos (she cites Justice's "D.A.N.C.E." as an example) look totally rad, the drawbacks of this industry-wise format change are already becoming apparent to music fans. It's all good when it's a luminous Rihanna strutting across that expensive plasma flat screen, but what about being confronted with Rascal Flatts at a resolution the human psyche was not intended to process? As we await our blemish-filled immediate future, please help us decide which musician will prove to be the least HD-friendly ~~when the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31~~. More »

2:00 PM on Fri Jan 25 2008
By Jess Harvell
762 views, 13 comments

Latest by blurey: i din't know the movie/music video industry had so many performers in veneers & has them wear so much make up/mascara until hi def came along. hi-def will have to push the bar up for the masters of illusion.-blurey more »

freckled criminals and gold prices

Gene Simmons Gives The People A Lesson In Economics

Gene Simmons' areas of expertise don't just extend to ladies of the night and plastic surgery; he's also well-versed in the value of a dollar, as evidenced by his willingness to license the KISS brand to anything and everything that it can be slapped on. So naturally, he has some thoughts about the current "recorded music should be free" rhetoric that's sweeping the bandwidth-blessed nooks of the world, and guess what? Where some techno-utopianists see a beautiful world of free songs for all, he sees nothing but a bunch of flawed business models and freckled crooks. More »

10:10 AM on Wed Nov 14 2007
By mjohnston
1,023 views, 21 comments

Latest by Homage: @metamuslix: I also was under the impression that "chaos and anarchy" were sort of what we were going for with this whole "rock and roll" thing. more »

Kiss' Gene Simmons is "up to [his] neck writing [his] next book: 'Ladies Of The Night—A Historical And Personal Overview Of The Oldest Profession' on our Simmons Books/Phoenix Books imprint. It should be finished by spring." Finally, the impetus to restart the long-stalled Idolator Book Club! Who's with us? [Blabbermouth]

2 comments

Gene Simmons Makes Kinda Sad, Not-Very-Well-Veiled Attempt At Getting A Date

In keeping with today's general mood, Blabbermouth has posted shocking revelations about Gene Simmons love life. And ladies, it's straight from the big man's very own Web page, so you know it's 100% real talk:

5 comments

In honor of Gene Simmons' birthday, a minor-league baseball team will wear "KISS-inspired jerseys" on Aug. 25. Fans are encouraged to get their faces painted like KISS members, although for the sake of not scaring kids, anyone who wears makeup inspired by Gene's recent plastic surgery should be denied admission to the park. [Brockton Rox, via Can't Stop The Bleeding]

3 comments

gene simmons

Gene Simmons To Look Even More Frightening Than Usual

The dozens of people who regularly tune into the Gene Simmons Osbournes ripoff Family Jewels will be able to get even further inside the Kiss bassist's head next month: More »

2:30 PM on Fri Mar 2 2007
By mjohnston
496 views, 2 comments

kiss

Calling Dr. Love: Checking In With Gene Simmons' Fan-Mail Missives

It's been a few weeks since we stopped by Gene Simmons' delightful blog, in which he answers ALL of his readers' mail, usually responding with the sort of tetchy terseness that makes you wonder: "Why does he even bother writing back?" Some favorites from the last few weeks: More »

10:55 AM on Fri Oct 13 2006
By Brian Raftery
725 views, 2 comments

lawsuits

Supreme Court Forces Former Kiss Member To Lick It Up

Ex-Kiss guitarist Vinnie Vincent lost a Supreme Court appeal Monday in a dispute over royalties with his former bandmates.

12:28 PM on Mon Oct 2 2006
By mjohnston
155 views, 4 comments

gene simmons

Gene Simmons: Brevity Is The Soul Of...Something

Gene Simmons' website is hilarious. He apparently prints all of his fans' letters, and you can almost hear the scowling as he dispenses the most minimal-effort response. Check out these insightful exchanges: More »

3:56 PM on Tue Sep 19 2006
By Brian Raftery
610 views, 5 comments

What Use Are "Best Of" Lists, Anyhow?

Posts Tagged “Gene Simmons”