Idolator: Heidi Montag

Heidi Montag Is One Drink Away From Banging You

Anthony Miccio — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 10:30:00 EDT

ARTIST: Heidi Montag
SONG: "One More Drink"
WEB DEBUT: July 1, 2008

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: Hills star Heidi Montag may have aspirations toward the lucrative Christian-pop scene, but for now she's happy to sing about "getting lost in this liquid high," and being one drink away from losing her better judgment. Ethical questions about an MTV star promoting drunken hook-ups aside ("last call for alcohol/ I'm feeling clumsy, about to fall..."), the song is a big step-up from "Fashion," and recommended to fans of Britney Spears' Blackout (which would also be a good name for a sequel to this track). Really, all that's missing from this is an opening "...HEIDI!"

WHERE TO FIND IT: You can easily find streams on YouTube, and Ali's Blog has a download.

Heidi Montag's "Fashion" Isn't That Bad

Anthony Miccio — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Bloggers have been pretty quick to declare "Fashion," the new single from Hills star Heidi Montag, the worst song of the year, if not ever. "This is no more a real song or a real stab at a music career than The Hills is real life," says the A.V. Club's The Hater. While I don't plan on putting it in my top ten list or writing a ponderous essay about which parts were probably written by Heidi and which were written by producers that were perhaps trying to bring out the Heidi in Heidi, I can't share the mouth foaming-offense that others have taken.

1. It has a beat.
Sure, it might be a less than striking one for fans of Deep House Dish, but Girl Talk fans have brought to my attention that indie rockers have been settling for less lately. And that's just sad.

2. "...HEIDI!"
As any rapper would tell you, it's important to have a trademark hook. This is one.

3. Worst ever? It's not even the worst song released in this year to feature the word "Manolo" in it.

You may resent not being able to get Heidi's song out of your head, but it takes concentrated effort to get Fergie's hookless "Labels Or Love" in your head. The grating Sex And The City theme might be more complicatedly arranged and detailed, but if you're looking for that, go listen to Rush or something. (I bet Geddy'd say "Manolo" funny, too.)

4. I'm a big fan of How I Met Your Mother, and "Fashion" is so Robin Sparkles I want to scream.

Right down to the French (Canadian) accent.

I can't stand The Hills (even when I try to enjoy it as some post-feminist Beavis & Butthead), and I honestly don't care whether Heidi Montag has a music career or not, but from Fergie on down we're given songs less catchy and fun every damn day. Maybe in a few years, "Fashion" (like "My Humps," the last song I can remember being responded to with such venom) will actually sound like a career highlight. And that would be our karmic due.

Heidi Montag - Fashion [YouTube]
New Heidi Montag Song Better If You Think Of It As Performance Art [The Hater]
Labels Or Love - Fergie [YouTube]
Robin Sparkles - "Let's Go To The Mall" (full version) [YouTube]

"Rolling Stone" To Readers: Buy This Magazine Or We'll Have To Figure Out More Ways To Pander To Non-Music Fans While Subtly Making Fun Of Our Cover Subjects

Maura Johnston — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:30:00 EDT

One would think that RS' head honchos would have held the $25k-a-throw hooker story for pairing with the inevitable Ashley Alexandra Dupre cover, but I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.

Britney and Heidi: The Story Gets Stranger

Dan Gibson — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:30:11 EST

Well, either someone's not telling the truth about Monday's Britney Spears/Heidi Montag musical trainwreck/duet or someone is editing our troubled celebrities together in duet tracks that were never meant to be! I prefer the second possibility, but I can't really get my hopes up for a Larry Birkhead/Lil Wayne track in the near future, can I? Either way, the denials started rolling in today, and thank goodness, we have Ryan Seacrest around to sort things out. He believes the song originated from Montag's "camp", which seems probable as Britney's entourage is bound by the Mental Health Professional's Code of Conduct, which prohibits media leaks, even if the single is totally bangin'. [AZcentral]

Britney Spears Drops New Single, Falls Even Further Into Post-Post-Postmodern Hell

Maura Johnston — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:10:19 EST

A new Britney Spears song just premiered on Ryan Seacrest's soon-to-be-nationwide radio show, and for some reason Britney, who still has a whole album's worth of good dance-pop tunes to release to radio, is now lowering herself to duet with that chick from The Hills who made the really crummy music video a few weeks back. The song, "Dramatic," doesn't sound like a "duet" as much as it sounds like "Heidi Montag singing over a half-finished Britney song that someone left behind at the studio," which lends some credence to Dan's theory that it could a leaked track from Jive Records' forthcoming Britney Spears - Duets collaboration. But I think it's just Britney trying to hitch her wagon to that of a fellow tabloid star, thus proving that she's the ultimate 21st-century fameball, someone who knows that the only way her Google News hits will go up is by forming some sort of silicone-and-spray-tan Wondertwin alliance with her counterparts from Us' table of contents. [KIISFM.com]

TGIF teen queen gossip daily double: Heidi ...

Jess Harvell — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 16:15:13 EST

TGIF teen queen gossip daily double: Heidi Montag—which is a thing that apparently appears on the MTV?—released her "debut pop music video" last week. Somehow we missed this momentous occasion. But apparently the rest of the Internet did not, because all of the flying blogosphere zingers left her "sobbing uncontrollably." (Hey, you should try hanging out on the Internet every day.) Meanwhile, Miley Cyrus got a tsk-tsk'ing from Consumer Reports for not buckling up during a scene in her hit 3-D concert movie, while the watchdog mag still took care to praise the "lifelike" way her blood seemed to splatter the audience when the Range Rover hit that tree. [Daily Dish via PTW / Photo: Getty]