Complex: Have you ever been with a groupie?

DMX: Is that a serious question? With as many baby mothers as I got, what do you think? What is a groupie? What do you call a groupie?

Complex: The girls that hang around after a big show or concert.

DMX: Yeah, that's everywhere though. It's notorious, if I go to the mall, you know, it's like—outside, you know? Anywhere.

Those of you who have been following the DMX saga as closely as I have may remember that he was arrested at a Phoenix-area mall on the aforementioned identity-theft charges, a coincidence that makes me wonder if there isn't a little bit of, ahem, projection going on in his boasting. Although replacing "groupie" for "police officer" in the whole story certainly puts the charming tale about a paramour with a big butt who didn't wipe or flush after she did her business in a hotel bathroom in a new light.

DMX Talks Speeding Tips And Groupie Tales [Complex]

Someone should take up a collection, buy this thing and bury it with him.

Hip-Hop Rumors Exclusive: Rick James Sex Tape On The Way? [AllHipHop]

This story is sooo not over. Now Raz B's brother is saying that the LA Crips gang forced his brother to say those things at gunpoint and Raz B has been missing for 2 days. The whole thing is wild, just wild.

I thought that the commenter was joking, but both stories actually came straight from Raz B's brother, a.k.a. Ricky Romance, via the gossip site Bossip, which is apparently doing further legwork on that side of the story. Meanwhile, people claiming to be Raz B and his management have taken to their MySpace bulletins, as a reader of Oh No They Didn't found out:

A dead cell phone! Raz B is clearly not having the best week with communication-related technology. Meanwhile, the blog namechecked in the bulletin also has reprinted a "no, I'm OK" statement from Raz B, although anyone who's ever gotten a phishing comment probably knows all too well how easy it is to fake those sorts of things on MySpace. And posting a picture dated Oct. 10, 2006, with a "no, really, I'm OK" message doesn't exactly inspire confidence, now, does it?

Raz B's Brother 'Ricky Romance' Confirms Raz-B is Missing [Bossip]
Raz-B's reps speak!! [ONTD]

raz-b is talking to marques's sister about how he didn't like being in the orgies or w/e. and that if they kept going on, someone (chris stokes or idk) liked watching them all fuck each other or w/e. raz-b talks about how he didn't like it and how his ass hurt afterward. he was also saying that he would never lie about a thing like this or make it up. oh, and he also mentions that he can't go back into the "mind frame" of being 11 when all of that molestation stuff was going on.

in the second video...

- raz-b says, "i moved to this house when i was 13 years old. *** ass ??? when i was 14 years old other perverted, misleading, molestation type of shit happened in this motherfucking house." in the video, he's pointing to a building. i guess to where it all happened.

- ricky romance says, "chris (stokes) made me take showers with the other boys. we had to go to capital records and shit... all that little shit that my little brother was introduced to—that shit, that shit was brought to me first and i blocked that shit. you know, and i wasn't with it. i backed out. it was like, i kind of knew what was going on. yet, i took my brother to chris and i didn't protect him like i should have."

Man, between this and Lou Pearlman's ill-fitting towels, the boy-band world is seeming more disgusting than ever! Also: Does this mean that in five years I'm going to be forced to write a bunch of awkwardly punny headlines about the Naked Brothers Band?

Raz-B says manager made b2k have orgies/raped them [ONTD]

Needless to say, none of this is anything that now-27-year-old Nick Carter is keen to talk about, especially in what ought to be an interview heralding the release of a new record, but he did have a comment for those people speaking out.

"There's a lot of people who maybe were involved in our stuff in the past who want to take an opportunity maybe because they are a little bitter, you know, maybe because of where they are right now," Carter said. "And they tend to, like, throw us under the bus, you know what I mean? Because of where we are right now. I mean, I'm not naming anybody but ... any attack on any one of us in this group is an attack on the whole entire group."

When I suggested that if anyone is being "attacked" it's Pearlman and not Backstreet, Nick would only offer, "Well, not necessarily an attack, but it does affect the whole entire group. Because we've all gone through stuff together, and it just feels like, it's unfortunate that people have to talk, 'cause they have nothing else to talk about."

However much this is just Carter, music industry pro, trying to deflect an interviewer's attention back to the band's new album, his "I don't wanna talk about it" attitude coupled with a vague persecution complex feels a little too much like what TV doctors always refer to as the "textbook responses" of an abused kid. Man, Lou Pearlman was a lot easier to joke about when his sleaziness only extended to contracts.

Backstreet Boys Open Up To John Norris About Lou Pearlman [MTV]

Tim Christofore, a member of Take 5, recalls that during a sleepover at Pearlman's house, the music czar swan-dived onto his and another boy's bed and wrestled with them wearing only in a towel, which came off. "We were like, 'Ooh, Lou, that's gross.' What did I know? I was 13," Christofore told Vanity Fair.

Rich Cronin, lead singer of LFO, recalled Pearlman told him of an "ancient massage technique that if I massage you and we bond in a certain way, it will strengthen your aura."

"Strengthen your aura"? Wow. With sub-singles-bar persuasion techniques like that, you'd think that people would have been a little more skeptical of Pearlman's make-money-fast schemes.

SLEAZEBALL BEHIND BOY BANDS [Page Six]