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Posts Tagged “idolator's american idolatry”

idolator's american idolatry

This Year, "American Idol" Will Be Won By A Dude Named David (But You Knew That Already)

So last night's completely anticlimactic episode of American Idol ended with the Battle Of The Davids officially beginning, a development that I was hoping would be derailed at the last minute for the purposes of filling out Fox's DVR-killing one hour and two minute runtime. (Thanks for ruining my recording of Top Chef, guys!) But alas, it was not to be, and the producers are probably still drunk on celebratory "our plan worked!!" champagne. In an effort to make things interesting, there are apparently conspiracy theories floating around about David Archuleta (or his people) wanting to sing a "hip-hop ballad" version of Dan Fogelberg's "Longer" but being denied by the producers; Archie's crazed fanbase is seeing it as more evidence that the powers that be want David Cook to win, but honestly, they probably made the right decision on that front. (Guys, go back and listen to your golden boy say "boo," and count your blessings.) And speaking of hip-hop, how about Fantasia's performance? More »

idolator's american idolatry

The High School Student, The Actress, Or The Bartender--Who's Going Home From "Idol" Tonight?

In which we try to predict whether or not Randy's dubbing Syesha "No. 3" of the final three American Idol contestants was some sort of astrological prediction written in the star-chart shirt he wore last night—or another piece of the mounting pile of evidence that the producers have been gaming the system for a David/David finale since the night Chikezie was eliminated. For anecdotal purposes, DialIdol ranks the hopefuls Cook-Archuleta-Mercado, while the top Idol-related search term on Google Trends is (ugh) "Switchfoot," at No. 57. America: It can't get enough of that post-millennial grunge! Vote after the jump. More »

idolator's american idolatry

Live-Blogging The Top 3 Showdown On "American Idol," Because I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

American Idol's top three contenders—Davids Archuleta and Cook, and Syesha Mercado—hold their last sing-off before next week's big sing-off tonight, and we're coming atcha live, as a band that will probably never get its Ryan Seacrest due would say! Dan Fogelberg, Switchfoot, Billy Joel, Roberta Flack, and a song from Happy Feet that maybe 0.5% of the ever-shrinking Idol audience will know after... the jump. More »

idolator's american idolatry

A Few "Idol" Odds & Ends

In preparation for tonight's American Idol liveblog—which starts at 8 ET!—here are some headlines that have crossed the transom...
• Nigel Lythgoe on the Jeff Archuleta issue: "He has been asked not to participate in the choice of music with David or be in the room when David is working out his routines that he wants to sing. He's fine to be in the studio — nothing wrong with that. We just want David to be able to be free like everybody else to get on and do what they want to do." My head is pounding from the number of lines in that statement that I need to read between. [EW]
• As if it wasn't clear enough that the producers are angling for a David-David final, their pick for Syesha Mercado tonight is Gia Farrell's "Hit Me Up." Never heard of it? Well, it was on the Happy Feet soundtrack, and it went to No. 1 in Hungary and No. 8 in Finland. But it didn't chart in the US, save for a two-week stint in the lower reaches of the Top 40 Mainstream chart. Hear it on YouTube, if you want to spoil the channel-change-inspiring surprise that the producers are clearly hoping for. [YouTube]
• Could this be the night that ratings plummet below the 20 million mark? [AP]


We Get Letters From the comments queue: "Can't tell who wrote this but you really are not that smart. David Archuleta is a legend in the making. He has more charisma than you have by far and more talent in his little finger then you or any of the other contestents. He deserves to win and he's such a different calliber, it is almost infair for them to have to compete with him. Psssst! Got a secret too...it's not just tweens and Grandmas who love him! It's only the non rocker group 9 - 99. Yeah, he should win it!" There's also one from a "44 year old male, weaned on every punk,arty,new wave and hard rock band on the planet" who says David has an "honest, sensitive, humble soulfulness." Oh, watching this over the next few days is going to be fun... [Earlier]

idolator's american idolatry

David Archuleta Hoping To Show The World That He's The Chris Brown Of "American Idol"

David Archuleta (and not his father) announced today that he'd sing Chris Brown's "With You" on tonight's episode of American Idol, during which each contestant will sing three songs—a personal pick, a judge's pick, and a producers' pick. This startling foray into 21st-century music should prove something of a test for young David, if only because his previous songs have only solidified his "young Wayne Newton frozen in amber" persona. Anyway! This post is also serving as a reminder that I'll be liveblogging the East Coast feed of tonight's show, which starts at 8 p.m. ET and runs for a little longer than an hour, after which I'll toss my computer aside and eagerly flip the channel to the Bobby Valentine documentary on ESPN2. No guarantees on what happens should the Archuleta/Fogelberg pairing reduce me to a puddle of mellowed-out goo, but at the very least, any melting will likely make for good blog fodder. The full slate of already-announced songs (via MJ) after the jump. More »

idolator's american idolatry

Why Jeff Archuleta's Backstage Ban Has Pretty Much Sealed The "American Idol" Title For David

There are lots of weird things about American Idol banning David Archuleta's father, Jeff, from rehearsal sessions—the timing (the news was released late Friday, after the three remaining Idol hopefuls had mostly completed their homecoming tours), the source of the leak (did a Fox source tell TMZ about the ban?), and the fact that the producers were citing David's "unfair advantage" of having his own musical arranger now, instead of at the beginning of the semifinals among them. But what's most frustrating about the ban is the way that it's turned the contestant at the center of it into a bulletproof entity, and how the conclusion of American Idol is even more foregone than it was when the Archuleta clan was just beginning its whirlwind tour of Utah's mall parking lots and basketball stadia. The reasons why we're going to definitely see David have his now a week from tomorrow after the jump. More »

idolator's american idolatry

Jeff Archuleta Banned From "American Idol" Rehearsals; David Archuleta Fans Give World Another Reason To Believe That Journalism Is In A Bad Place Right Now

TMZ first reported it yesterday and now the Associated Press has confirmed it: The American Idol braintrust has banned David Archuleta's father/musical arranger/puppet-string-puller, Jeff, from the show's rehearsals, after months of speculation about his stage-dad tendencies and overbearing presence. The final straw? The cheesy "Beautiful Girls" interpolation into David's performance of "Stand By Me" last Tuesday, which not only made the song's message completely incoherent, it cost the producers an undisclosed amount of licensing money. This raises a host of questions regarding the junior Archuleta's last two weeks in the competition (Will the news, and the apparent fact that Jeff is the first person to be banned from the Idol backstage ever, garner a lot of sympathy votes? Will this be his chance to show the haters that he can, in fact, interpret and arrange music without Daddy pulling the strings, or will he wilt under the pressure on Tuesday night? Is this abortion of a season over yet?) But leave it to the Archie-crazed commenters at rickey.org to ask the important questions regardnig this whole story. More »

The Probably Inevitable Denoument To This Disappointing Season Of "American Idol" Vote For The Worst has endorsed David Archuleta: "Sure he's annoying, but that's why he's perfect. Most of America does not want him to win. Imagine an Idol winner who couldn't aspire to be much more than a less-talented Clay Aiken. Imagine an Idol winner whose press tour would take 20 minutes to answer a single question. And just imagine the type of sappy ballad that the producers already have lined up for David to record, dripping with extra cheese and terrible melisma. We smell failure!" [VFTW]

idolator's american idolatry

OMG! What Are The "American Idol" Finalists Doing Right Now?

The three remaining American Idol contestants are currently enjoying their homecoming days, and the Fox affiliates in their largest-populated hometowns (Salt Lake City, Kansas City, and Tampa) are going all-out with coverage, employing streaming video, blogging, and third-party chat-room technology to make sure that people can spend their Fridays slacking off to David Archuleta's overly licked lips, David Cook's unending grunge homages, and Syesha Mercado's inflated sense of importance. A guide to the proceedings—including pointers to the not-really-live webcam feeds that are claiming to follow the hopefuls all day, but have also provided somewhat terrifying glimpses into the rest of the country's local news offerings—after the jump. More »

idolator's american idolatry

Jason Castro: In Memoriam

And so we bid farewell to Jason Castro, the singer who brightened this season's American Idol proceedings with his song choices (think about it: dude brought Leonard Cohen and Bob Dylan to the Idol stage, even if the results were decidedly mixed), big dreadlocks, and the fact that he generally seemed to be having a good time on stage, unlike some stage-managed kids who seem to be on the verge of passing out every time they're forced to stand on stage while not singing. Some may have referred to him as a Sanjaya-like figure because of his unquenchable goofiness, like his line last night about shooting the tambourine man, and his hair, but I kind of appreciated the fact that he was actually having fun with the proceedings, and not being as deadly self-serious as some of the other people still in the running. (Congratulations, Syesha, on making that Presidential race reference—we knew you had it in you.) At least his semi-glazed expressions and "it's all good, man" vibe made for good TV. More »

idolator's american idolatry

Seriously, Why Even Bother With The "American Idol" Finale At This Point?

I suppose that lots of reality-show viewers get so invested in the contestants they like, and the outcomes that they want to see that become less possible with each passing week, that they actually lose interest as the climactic episodes come closer. But this season of American Idol has to take the cake on actually driving viewers away from it, thanks to the tireless efforts of the judges, who are so in the tank for David "Licky-Loo" Archuleta that their post-Archie critiques have become a must-fast-forward part of the show for anyone who wants to remain sane. Forgetting lyrics and mashing your gums together in order to let said moments slide by? No problem! Having your voice crap out on the climactic part of a song? That's OK, dawg, you still brought it! Singing "Stand By Me" in such a way that the song's message is completely switched up, so that it becomes more about how any problem will be improved by merely basking in your glory? Hey, misunderstanding lyrical intent is part of the Archuleta package—and it has been since the kid was 12 and mugging his way to a Star Search win! More »

idolator's american idolatry

Democracy In Action, "American Idol" Style: Ryan Seacrest Wants You To Vote Today (Even If You Don't Live In North Carolina Or Indiana)

"You must vote," Ryan Seacrest lectured the American Idol audience as the singing contest's top four episode opened. And then he mentioned that three of the remaining four singers had, at one time or another, been the week's top vote-getter. Hmm, I wonder which singer (cough Syesha cough) has never received enough votes to be up top (cough cough)? Could it be the one with the fanbase that seems to be a mirage? Oh, I don't know. What I do know is that the lionization of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame is making me kind of sick, and David Cook singing Duran Duran isn't going to make me feel much better. Especially since he just said that he was born the year "Hungry Like The Wolf" was released. More »

idolator's american idolatry

Jason Castro Is Finally Allowed To Play Up The Fact That He Has Dreadlocks

Spoilers for tonight's American Idol, where the hopefuls are taking on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame's 500 Songs That Shaped Rock, are starting to make their way out of Fox's fortress. Here's the first one: "Jason's a man on a mission. With one arm that fires, authorities fall, but their counterparts are spared. With the other arm, he jingles his tympan all the way to victory." MJ's Big Blog has translated the gibberish, and it's after the jump—but first, a spoiler for the spoiler: So, anyone want to guess how Randy Jackson is going to react to a Bob Dylan song on American Idol? More »

idolator's american idolatry

Idolator Presents Its Entry In The "American Idol" Song Competition

The "song contest" portion of American Idol, in which hopefuls around the country pen the coronation song for one of the Davids whoever winds up winning this season, is enough of a laughingstock that even Simon Cowell's mocking it: "You can guarantee either the word 'proud' or 'moment' will be in the song. How about 'I'm Proud to Be in this Moment Now'?" Ho snap! Well, if it's that much of a laugh, then there's no reason I can't offer my own lyric for next year. Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy "There But For The Grace Of Clive." More »

Wednesday night's episode of American Idol garnered 1.2 million fewer viewers than it did in the previous week, thus setting another five-year low for the sliding Fox franchise. At first I was surprised that ratings were lower, to be honest, since I figured all the conspiracy theorists would be tuning in to see whether or not Jason Castro was, in fact, headed for the door—until I realized that more and more people are probably getting sick of the filler-packed results shows and are probably just tuning in for the last five minutes. [Reuters]

idolator's american idolatry

The 29 Seconds That Are Supposed To Make Everyone Feel Better About "American Idol"


For those of you who are curious, the "rumors" Ryan is obliquely referring to as being untrue aren't about Paula being into field hockey players. Nor are they about Paula using the rehearsals to guide her later critiques, since she admitted that she does engage in that practice yesterday: More »

idolator's american idolatry

Bye Bye Brooke: Tonight's "American Idol" Elimination Adds Some Vinegar To The Bittersweetness

What more is there to say, except that I hope she stops crying by the time this episode airs on the West Coast? (But I don't think that's really likely, to be honest.)