Did You Hear?

:: Pop music fans across the pond have better get ready for this jelly — Beyoncé will headline Glastonbury Festival in the U.K. this June, just three years after her hubby Jay-Z headlined the fest. Other unconfirmed acts for Glastonbury include U2 and Coldplay. [Billboard]

:: Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is releasing a big band album called Music Is Better Than Words, featuring collaborations with Norah Jones and Sara Bareilles. What, no Stewie and Brian duet? [EW Music Mix]

:: Rihanna has agreed to lift her restraining order against Chris Brown to a level 1, meaning they can interact as long as he doesn’t “annoy, molest or harass” her. We don’t think he’ll be attempting any one of those any time soon, unless he wants to rehabilitate his image for a second time. [E! Online]

:: Have a sneak peak at Trey Songz’s “Love Faces” video. It’s safe to watch at work, unlike his other love faces. [MTV Buzzworthy]

:: James Blunt attempts to stay relevant by covering Katy Perry’s “California Gurls”, a song that reached its peak about 10 months ago. Try again, James. [PopEater]

After the jump, find out which music acts are performing on the tube today.

Music On TV:
:: Tonight Show with Jay Leno (NBC) — the Black Keys
:: Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) — the Dears
:: Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC) — Cage the Elephant (repeat)
:: Last Call with Carson Daly (ABC) — Clare Burson
:: Ellen DeGeneres (ABC) —Ricky Martin

How much of a maddening frenzy are people being driven to while anticipating Lady Gaga’s new single “Born This Way”? For starters, Ellen DeGeneres actually sat down at a piano with the tune’s lyrics on her show and tried to predict how the Grammy nominee‘s new jam will sound (“Born This Way” is set to premiere on Friday). Yes—Ellen actually sang (with Auto Tune). But that was all before she called out Justin Bieber and James Blunt, who each had their own take on how Gaga’s song will sound.

There was a running gag where James Blunt just kept playing the melody of “You’re Beautiful” on his guitar, because, well, let’s face it—in this country, he’s pretty much a one-hit wonder, anyway.

But The Bieb gave perhaps the most melodic, somber take on “Born This Way” as he stood at his keyboard and plunked out a few chords. Of course, the mood swiftly reverted back to comedy when the Never Say Never star was accompanied by Ellen’s warbling and James Blunt hamming it up once more.

The Helping Haiti video for “Everybody Hurts” is pretty much standard charity single fare—clips of the stars singing interspersed with (often graphic) footage of victims of the disastrous earthquake that rocked Haiti last month.

Simon Cowell organized the project, and wrangled in the likes of Susan Boyle, Mariah Carey, Miley Cyrus, Kylie Minogue, Take That, Bon Jovi, Leona Lewis, Robbie Williams, JLS, James Blunt, Joe McElderry and Alexandra Burke to sing on the R.E.M. cover. The song was made available on UK iTunes Sunday, and shot to #1 there by the afternoon.

Catch the video after the jump. (Again, some of the images are graphic.)

The video was directed by Joseph Kahn, who previously shot the clips for Britney Spears’ “Stronger,” “Toxic” and “Womanizer,” as well as Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name” and Lady Gaga’s “LoveGame.”

Here’s the full list of singers on the song:

LEONA LEWIS
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone…

ROD STEWART
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on…

MARIAH CAREY
Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes…

CHERYL COLE
Sometimes everything is wrong.

MIKA
Now it’s time to sing along…

MICHAEL BUBLE
When your day is night alone,

JOE McELDERRY
(Hold on, hold on)…

MILEY CYRUS
If you feel like letting go…

JAMES BLUNT
If you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on…

GARY BARLOW (TAKE THAT)
‘Cause everybody hurts.

MARK OWEN (TAKE THAT)
Take comfort in your friends

GARY BARLOW (TAKE THAT)
Everybody hurts.

JON BON JOVI
Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no…

JAMES MORRISON
Don’t throw your hand

JAMES MORRISON & ALEXANDRA BURKE
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone…

SUSAN BOYLE
If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long…

ASTON MERRYGOLD (JLS)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

SHANE FILAN (WESTLIFE)
Well, everybody hurts sometimes

MARK FEEHILY (WESTLIFE)
Everybody cries.

KYLIE MINOGUE
And everybody hurts sometimes

ROBBIE WILLIAMS
And everybody hurts sometimes.

BBC 1 Radio premiered the Simon Cowell-organized all star cover version of “Everybody Hurts”—billed as Helping Haiti—this morning. Among the singers who lent vocals to the track are Mariah Carey, Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams, Miley Cyrus, Susan Boyle, Take That, Rod Stewart, Mika, Bon Jovi, James Blunt and Cheryl Cole, as well as X Factor alums Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke, Joe McElderry and JLS.

The track itself, produced by Steve Robson, stays pretty faithful to R.E.M.’s original 1992 version. And, of course, the inner Anglophile in us is reveling in the fact that this marks the first time all five original members of Take That have appeared on a song together since Robbie Williams split from the seminal Brit boy band in 1995. (Though only Gary Barlow and Robbie appear to have prominent lines here.)

Hop below to hear the new Helping Haiti version of “Everybody Hurts.”

Gotta love how, even when it comes to charity, Kylie sounds like a sex kitten.

And now, 45 answers to the question that will no doubt result from this entry: “How is James Blunt’s 2005 ode to a stolen glance on the Underground not higher than No. 45 on a worst songs of the ’00s list? Really now.”





1. It was only No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for one week.
2. It was unseated by Ne-Yo! That’s an Idolator success story right there.
3. Even though it seems like it stuck around forever, thanks to incessant licensing.
4. Its success led to Linda “And I Say HEYYY AYYY AYY YEAH YEAH” Perry lecturing The New York Times on the dangers of pop songs’ ubiquity.
5. It brought British artists back to the chart’s summit for the first time since “Candle In The Wind 1997.” And nobody had to die! Well, before its release, anyway.
6. People who found it irritating enough to make the top 10 of a Rolling Stone poll of annoying songs only found it slightly more objectionable than the Spice Girls’ awesome “Wannabe.”
7. But less so than Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5.”
8. (Which came out in 1999 and is thus ineligible for this poll, in case you were wondering.)
9. Somehow, Blunt only says the phrase “You’re beautiful” nine times during the course of the song. But it seems like so many more, I know.
10. When asked about the song’s origins by Oprah Winfrey, James answered that they were “kind of miserable” while grinning. Oh, those Brits!
11. In the original edit of the song, James was “fucking high”; in the much-more-popular radio edit, he was “flying high.” So wait, is he on drugs or full of himself? Hmm.
12. The piano part is pretty.
13. And when you think about it in the grand scheme of things, “You’re Beautiful” is not that bad.
14. No, really, it’s not!
15. Play this back-to-back with [REDACTED HIGHER-RANKING SONG] and [REDACTED HIGHER-RANKING SONG] later this week and you’ll see what I mean.
16. And it’s probably at least on irritating-earworm par with whatever song is playing in your local Walgreen’s right now.
17. Although his Rod Stewart affectations are kind of irritating.
18. At least this song doesn’t utilize the production techniques of, say, “Downtown Train,” though.
19. Nevertheless, when he takes his flying leap off the cliff at the end of the video you’re kind of hoping he succeeds in his dramatic mission.
20. OK, OK. Let me think.
21. …
22. Hm …
23. He has nice lips!
24. And good hair.
25. Great hair, even.
26. “It was about seeing my ex-girlfriend on the Underground in London with her new man who I didn’t know existed. She and I caught eyes and lived a lifetime in that moment, but didn’t do anything about it and haven’t seen each other since,” James told O when asked about the song’s meaning. Who among us can’t relate?
27. Then again, its bland longing is so universal, other people think it’s about first love.
28. Maybe this is why Blunt later called the song “one of the least meaningful songs on the album and by no means people’s favorite”?
29. Of course, in the same interview, he compared himself to Bob Dylan, so all bets are off.
30. And said “Commercialism is an ugly thing to focus on,” which see No. 3 above.
31. Oh dear, this is proving to be much more difficult than I originally thought. Should I call Chris?
32. Then again, is this really worse than [REDACTED]? Or [REDACTED]?
33. It’s almost as if the irritating qualities that it possessed in multiples back in 2005-2006, which were white-hot then thanks to the track’s Lite-FM ubiquity, seem kinda quaint these days.
34. Like, if you had to pick between “You’re Beautiful” and “I Gotta Feeling” as far as a song that drove you crazier were it to be placed on endless repeat at this exact moment in time, which would you choose?
35. The sappy, “meaningless” ballad from a one-hit blunder or the clinically / cynically designed weapon for Eternal Professional-DJ Domination?
36. I mean, neither’s on the side of the angels here, but I know which I’d choose.
37. Fight the real enemy, man.
38. Yeah.
39. Yeah!
40. That said, we really shouldn’t pay him any more mind than No. 45, given that he’s still being a jerk about the whole “Weird Al” parody.
41. I mean, who turns down “Weird Al”?
42. Kurt Cobain didn’t.
43. And neither did Gerardo!
44. Blunt did bring the song onto Sesame Street and turn it into “My Triangle,” which, c’mon:


45. Aw.


James Blunt – You’re Beautiful [YouTube]
James Blunt [Official site]
F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One

Accordion-wielding parodist “Weird Al” Yankovic is compiling another greatest-hits collection for release this fall, and he wants your help as far as song-selection goes. One song that definitely won’t be on the collection, however, is “You’re Pitiful.” Yankovic’s remake of James Blunt’s mewly, unkillable “You’re Beautiful,” which centers on a guy who takes being white and nerdy to an uncomfortable, Slurpee-filled level, was an “unofficial” “Weird Al” release thanks to Atlantic Records, Blunt’s label, barring its release back in 2006—even though at the time, the singer himself had been OK with the release of the track:

Actually, James Blunt was totally fine with it, and “You’re Pitiful” was going to be my lead single. Then, the day after we announced the original release date for Straight Outta Lynwood, we heard from Blunt’s label (Atlantic Records) that they didn’t want the parody to come out. That was really odd – generally, if anybody has a problem with the parody, it’s the artist – the label is usually more than happy to get the free publicity and extra revenue. But they said it was “too early” in James’ career for a parody, and they were afraid that focusing any more attention on “Beautiful” at that point might lead to the perception of James as a “one hit wonder.” I used the argument that my Nirvana parody didn’t seem to kill their budding career – and in fact I was told by an executive at Nirvana’s label that I probably helped sell them an extra million copies of “Nevermind.” Atlantic was unswayed – they said the timing was just really bad. They didn’t say I couldn’t do the parody… they just said they’d let me know “when the time was right.” So we cancelled our release date and waited. Finally, months later, we got the answer: the “right” time, apparently, was “never.” For me, that was the last straw. I had put too much time, effort and money into the song for it to never see the light of day. Now, I’m extremely respectful of artists’ wishes, and always have been – but since this was a bunch of suits trying to jerk me around (and not James Blunt, who had approved it) – I had no problem releasing the song as a free download on the web. Within days, it was a viral worldwide hit.

Things seem to have changed in those three years, however, because now it’s Blunt who is balking at allowing Yankovic to release “You’re Pitiful.” Al broke the news on his Twitter yesterday:

In case you were hoping for “You’re Pitiful” to be included on my “Essentials” collection, sorry, this just in from Blunt’s manager: “Thanks for your email, but both James and I will never approve this parody to be released on any label.”

Huh, a change of heart! Maybe Blunt is hoping that Al will parody a song from his ill-fated second album instead, thus giving it a much-needed awareness boost? Anyway, in the spirit of needling the suddenly self-serious singer, Yankovic retaliated by providing all of his Twitter followers a reminder of where they download the song for free. Oh Al, you scamp! We might as well help the cause, no?





Al Yankovic [Twitter]
Weird Al Yankovic Dishes On James Blunt, Discusses His Role As the Whitest, Nerdiest Rock Star Ever [RS]
Weird Al – You’re Pitiful [YouTube]

“Britons like a dose of music from the rock band Coldplay to help them fall asleep, a survey from hotel chain Travelodge found on Monday…Other artists chosen for their slumber-inducing qualities were James Blunt, Snow Patrol, Take That, and Norah Jones.” [Yahoo via Reuters]

Linda Perry, the former 4 Non Blondes frontwoman who went on to produce songs for Christina Aguilera, Pink, and Gwen Stefani, is suing Warner Music Group for royalties she believes she is owed on James Blunt’s Back To Bedlam, which came out on her imprint Custard Records. Perry is suing for royalties on the album–which, according to the suit, has made WMG a cool $100 million–plus $5 million in damages, and she’s saying that Warner Music Group “follows the far too familiar scenario involving a large multinational corporate record company which takes advantage of a small, independent production company.” For its part, Warner says that it has always compensated the label in accordance with the contract the two parties agreed upon when Perry initially brought Blunt to WMG’s attention, which sounds to me like code for “read the fine print, lady.” [BBC]

It’s not on the site yet, but later today, the few remaining James Blunt fans (there are some out there, right?) will be able to purchase downloadable videos of exclusive performances by the scruffy singer-songwriter from MySpace’s music section. The performances are the inaugural offering in Transmissions, a the social-networking site’s latest attempt to stay relevant connect its users to the musicians they loved. Or used to, anyway, before that “You’re Beautiful” song became inescapable.

It could be perceived as an Internet variation of the popular series “MTV Unplugged,” but with a revenue stream built in. When musicians participate in the MTV series, their work is sometimes released as albums months or years later. On MySpace, the work will be available immediately.

“If I like what I see, I can take it with me,” said Josh Brooks, vice president for programming and content of MySpace.

For years MySpace, now owned by the News Corporation, has served as a promotional platform for artists and labels, primarily through the MySpace Music portion of the Web site. Now the company wants to provide a sales component. Unlike Apple’s iTunes music store, which charges a flat rate of 99 cents a song, MySpace will let distributors set their own prices.

“We’re enabling artists to choose how they want to distribute their music,” Mr. Brooks said.

This is MySpace’s second foray into selling music after its failed dalliance with the music-sales-widget company Snocap, which is a little over a year old; Transmissions’ revenue model is also “enabling artists” to decide whether or not they want to share the money with MySpace, an option that Blunt is not pursuing. Whether or not this model will actually work depends on MySpace getting the right artists–i.e. artists with fanbases that will shell out the cash and navigate their way to the Transmission page, and not just any old artist who is trying to throw album-promotion spaghetti at any nearby wall in hopes that some of it will stick–than any other factor, to be, er, blunt. (I’m speaking in part from experience, having worked for about six months at a site that had a similar setup, and a roster of artists that was sorely lacking in the “will anyone care?” department.) No word yet on which other bands have signed up for future Transmissions, although I’m going to guess that, in keeping with company policy, Universal Music Group artists will only perform 90-second versions of their hits.

MySpace to Showcase Music and Sell Performance Videos [NYT]

Proving the sampler really can squeeze the awful out of just about anything, the producer on the new Beanie Sigel single finds the world’s first legitimate use for a James Blunt chorus. We guess sampling Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” would have been too meta/ironic for Beans. [Sit Down Stand Up via Blender]

Five words that should strike fear in your soul and make you wish “indie” never existed: James Blunt covers “Young Folks.” (And no, he doesn’t even whistle.) [Deaf Indie Elephants]

It’s nice to see that Nickelback aren’t the only ones getting slobbed by Billboard for scoring a chart coup today, as James Blunt “completes a notable triple on Billboard’s pan-European charts, debuting atop European Top 100 Albums with his sophomore Atlantic set ‘All the Lost Souls.’ He also starts a second week at No. 1 on Eurochart Hot 100 Singles and a fourth week at the summit of European Radio Airplay with “1973.” Congrats to all. (For the first time ever, Maura actually made me delete the joke that originally went here. I really didn’t think it was that mean.) [Billboard]

In this New York Times profile of ubiquitous mewler James Blunt, we learn a lot of little factoids about the crooner–women who eat at “trendy meatpacking district restaurants” somehow find him sexy! he’s probably shut down the Ibiza party scene with the power of his own blandness! he’s buddies with Kid Rock!–but probably the most enlightening part of the story is the breakdown of just how, exactly, the world came to be throughly sick of “You’re Beautiful” a year ago:

In Britain two singles preceded “You’re Beautiful.” But Atlantic Records, which issues Mr. Blunt’s music in America in partnership with Custard, released that song first. Though it stalled on the charts at the beginning, a flurry of commercial licensing made it inescapable on television. It was used in a Sprint ad campaign, in prime-time dramas like “Smallville” and “ER,” on daytime soaps, in promo spots for “Extreme Home Makeover” and even in the 2006 Winter Olympics. That exposure helped its popularity on radio, and after seven months it hit No. 1. To date the album has sold 2.6 million copies in the United States.

As Ms. Perry sees it, all that licensing backfired: “You’re Beautiful” became as hated as it was loved.

“When you have a really big song and you want to see some legs on a record,” she said, “you don’t start putting that song in commercials and on TV shows and keep oversaturating it. Because that’s when people get sick of it.”

And if anyone should know about oversaturation of a song, it’s Linda Perry. But guess what, everyone? We’re going to need some extra airsickness bags, because Atlantic Records’ high-rolling chairman Lyor Cohen knows that Blunt’s signature blend of stubble and soft-rock caterwauling will, at the very least, allow enough licensing money to roll in so he can keep helicoptering Rolling Stone-employed lapdogs between New York City and the Hamptons:

Mr. Cohen said fears of piracy kept him from sending out the songs on “All the Lost Souls” for licensing in advance of the album’s release. But now that the album is out, the saturation can begin.

“We will license these records, in movies, TV and commercials,” he said. “Trust me, you will hear these records.”

Making a Career After a Monster Hit [NYT]

James Blunt to bring his whiny voice to Sesame Street this season, which will no doubt inject some life into this long-dormant MySpace group. [AP via USAToday]

“You don’t really need to subject yourself to that new James Blunt single for ‘journalistic purposes,’ do you? Seriously, Mike and the Mad Dog is a more listenable option right now, even in the midst of Michael Vick/crooked NBA ref mania.” [Hype Machine]

A songwriter who claims to have written six songs on James Blunt’s Back To Bedlam drags the singer into court; more evidence of the end times is found further down in this article outlining the suit, when it’s revealed that Bedlam is the second-biggest-selling album of the 21st century. [The Independent]

Ed. note: Once again, Idolator intern Kate Richardson scours the video sites, looking for the best fan-made music-video tributes. In this entry, she looks at two very different takes on the Mulder and Scully relationship:

Forget The Truth, the Cigarette Smoking Man, the aliens and monsters, the great conspiracy myth-arc. The X-Files was about one thing and one thing only: tender, passionate agent-on-agent action. Mulder/Scully fanfic is hardly new to the Internet, but in the pre-YouTube era it wasn’t as easy to use quivery-voiced Englishmen and ’90s Christian-crossover bands as background music. Do you believe? There’s little room for doubt in this case: the truth is out there, and it sounds like a trailer for She’s All That.

Song: “Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt
Concept: Mulder and Scully as overwrought couple fond of playing baseball together.
Given that this video has an inherent disadvantage–it uses just stills instead of clips–it’s not technically too bad: The editing is quick and the pictures are, by and large, appropriately tender. But that may actually be the problem. Mulder and Scully are hardened FBI agents who know too much, and as a result of many years working together on cases that are beyond the grasp of others, they are drawn to each other. For this we get James Blunt? Entirely inappropriate. He’s more of a Ross/Rachel artist.
Best music-to-image sync-up moment: Since there isn’t anything good about this clip, there is logically no “best” moment, but if I had to pick I’d say the pictures of Scully crying and clutching Mulder match well with the song.
Silliest music-to-image sync-up moment: At the 2:10 mark, there’s a painfully literal interpretation of the lyrics “I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile, I’ve watched you sleeping for a while, I’d be the father of your child.”

Song: “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer
Concept: Mulder and Scully as playful rom-com couple.
This one skips lightly over the line from pathetically absurd to absolutely brilliant. Because this song is probably even more off-tone with the show, the video becomes its own universe. It’s as if The X-Files never existed, and someone had just found a lot of stock footage of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson making out. The commitment to the premise is so strong and well-executed that the maddening inappropriateness of it is forgotten. This video should not be watched as a Mulder/Scully tribute, but as an A+ project in a movie-trailer class.
Best music-to-image sync-up moment: The clip of Mulder and Scully dancing. It’s less obvious than the kissing clips and a little more whimsical.
Silliest music-to-image sync-up moment: The final scene in the video–if I remember correctly, there’s an off-chance that the baby he’s holding is an alien or something.

Verdict: I thought it over during my cigarette break in the dark corner, and it is apparent that the Sixpence None the Richer clip is vastly superior in execution and a lot more fun to watch, while the “Goodbye My Lover”/X-Files combination is a real train wreck. Trust no one who tells you otherwise.

- James Blunt’s new album is coming out in September; on release day, expect your mom to cue it up and take a longer-than-usual bath. [NME]
- Kudos to the New York Daily News for incorporating the phrase “The Gloved One even fingered a man” into a story about Michael Jackson’s dwindling finances. [NY Daily News]
- A bottle of antihistamines that once belonged to Elvis Presley was auctioned off for $2,600; the winning bid was placed by the ghost of Colonel Tom Parker, who’s both evil and overly nostalgic. [TMZ]

- Paris Hilton and James Blunt have finally hooked up. We have a “complex harpin’ meets simplex herpen” joke we’d like to share, but we also have lawyers. [NY Daily News]
- Gorillaz guru Damon Albarn says the best-selling animated band won’t be putting out any more pop records, forcing a desperate EMI to sign Grape Ape and a handful of Monchichis to a five-album deal. [NME]
- A judge says the Phil Spector trial will last for “about two or three months,” during which time he’ll stop with the wigs and just start showing up with a roofied sloth on his head. [AP via Billboard]

- Lindsay Lohan inadvertently provides another reason to hate James Blunt. [NY Daily News]
- Michael Jackson is hoping to build a fifty-foot “robot replica” of himself in Las Vegas, which will come complete with twenty-foot “Chapter 11 filing.” [NY Daily News]
- Marilyn Manson and Slayer will team up for a tour this summer; no word yet on whether the jaunt will reach Overland Park, Kansas. [Billboard]