i miss you.
no, i dont mean i miss going to your concerts now that there is no tour, i mean i miss you. you three silly boys. what happened?

where are the hilarious youtube videos that you made, you came up with, and were not scripted. i miss those more than anything. i cant keep watching the same ones from a year ago over and over again .

why cant you take a few minutes out of your lives to make a minute or two long video ? oh yeah thats right im sorry . you guys are soo busy 24/7 and NO time to make one right ? mhmm. i wish that was the reason. dont try and tell me you dont have five minutes in your life of free time. i know you get breaks. there are pictures of you guys out and about , shopping ( because i know you dont have enough, expensive clothes) , driving ( nice cars by the way. im glad that their hybrid! *a bit of sarcasm* ) . i know you have time. WE are the ones who have gotten you guys all this money to buy these expensive things you buy. the cars, the clothes, the houses, yes plural. dont get me wrong , its well earned money , and you deserve every thing you have. you boys work your butts off every day of your lives . but im beginning to think your forgetting just why your doing this all. is it because of the nice checks you' ll be receiving, or is it for us, your fans, who have been there every step of the way? that is something that i cant answer.

still love you, will support you, and are here for you, but please, a nice video every now and then would really be appreciated. i would really like to see you guys do more to thank the fans, and that i know that my hard earned money that i worked my butt off this summer to pay for your concert tickets, and the 2 albums that i bought, were really worth it. the new say now, promo ting chevy , but no thank you to the fans, left me speechless . ( and no, not over the edge breathless ) .

anyone hear their latest say now. its so scripted. and upsetting to us fans.

It's like the five stages of grief in one rambly, uncapitalized message!

Denial: "i mean i miss you. you three silly boys." (I am going to assume they never made regular visits to this young lady's house.)

Anger: "there are pictures of you guys out and about , shopping ( because i know you dont have enough, expensive clothes) , driving ( nice cars by the way. im glad that their hybrid! *a bit of sarcasm* ) ."

Bargaining: "still love you, will support you, and are here for you, but please, a nice video every now and then would really be appreciated. "

Depression: "i worked my butt off this summer to pay for your concert tickets, and the 2 albums that i bought, were really worth it. the new say now, promo ting chevy , but no thank you to the fans, left me speechless . ( and no, not over the edge breathless ) ."

Acceptance: OK, "acceptance" hasn't crept into this particular chain letter yet... but there are other JoBros fans who are more than happy to pick up that slack. Take this comment from "Elise," who doesn't feel as slighted.

you all reallly, really need to stop.
none of you guys are famous, you don't know
when they get breaks and when they don't.
you don't know what they have to do everyday.
you don't go through what they go through.

why is it such a big deal that [insertnamehere] posted
an ADVERTISMENT blog instead of the jonas brothers?
why is that such a big deal?

stop complaining how much they changed.
you really, really need to can it.
becaue you can't sit there and tell me that you
act the same way you did four years ago.

you're really going to sit there and tell me that
you haven't matured in the last four years?
come on now, dont be so hyporcritical.

think of all the stuff they do for you.
how they go days running on little
to no sleep.

how they spent their summer in a tour bus
so they can play for you every night.

how whether they are sick, in pain,
or just emotionally hurt, they run out on
that stage every night and rock out for you
like nothings wrong?

just because us fans can get on myspace
all the time doesn't mean that three of the
biggest celebrities can get on and post
blogs, make youtube videos, etc.

do you not notice that at the end of
all their blogs that THEY write,
they thank us?
they tell us that we are the ones who got them
where they are?
that theyre nothing without us?

why don't you buckle down and show them some respect.
theyre human, they can't please everyone.
just be happy with all they do for you.
they shouldnt be thanking us, WE should
be thanking THEM.

get real.
don't call yourself a jonas fan if you
are dumb enough to not understand
that they are busy.

—

thank you for all that you three have done.
your such an inspiration. you deserve
all that you have.
good luck, god bless.
-elise.

OK maybe there's a little bit of "denial" going on in that last paragraph, too. But hey, that's life in the inferno of postmodernity, right?

Jonas Brothers "Joyful Kings" [Jonas Brothers MySpace Blog]

It's not every day I get to read a news article this enjoyable, so let's just bask in it together.

Fox has locked the Jonas Brothers to make their feature starring debut in "Walter the Farting Dog." Based on a bestselling series of books by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray, the film is being adapted by Alec Sokolow and Joel Cohen into a family film that will revolve around Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas, as well as their younger brother Frankie....

The title character in the "Walter" books is a fat dog with severe flatulence. The brothers play musicians whose parents are asked to care for the dog by an aunt just before she passes away.

"By the time they’ve driven the dog home, everybody’s head is out the window of the family station wagon but Frankie, and only because he has a serious sinus problem and doesn’t notice the stench coming from Walter," said Peter Farrelly.

While his brothers play music, Frankie and the gaseous hound get involved in a plot that involves liberating a koi fish and thwarting jewel thieves.

This idea is 100% genius from start to finish. Preteen girls love the Jonas Brothers. Preteen boys love fart jokes. Between the two, you've got at least one solid week atop the box office charts, although the merchandising might be a slightly more difficult proposition than it was for Camp Rock.

Still, I can't help but wonder how this affect my planned feature-length version of "Toonces: The Cat Who Could Drive A Car," starring Demi Lovato.

Jonas Bros. whiff Fox's 'Farting Dog' [Variety]

According to their MySpace,

We are a group of guys that wanted to take our natural singing and dancing abilities and bring back the Boy Band phenomenon of the late 90s.

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
Backstreet made its comeback.. twice...
There are some New New Kids on the Block...
... and now you have us: 4 Softies & a Pizza Guy. We are the hardest hitting Boy Band found exclusively on Teh Internetz. Not even LOLCats can stop us now!

Hope you enjoy our debut single P-D-C 2008.

Oh but if only the LOLcats could stop you! At least whoever's writing this copy has the decency to acknowledge that boy bands were a late-'90s phenomenon, but the fact remains that at this point in time it's both too late to parody them and be relevant and too soon to attempt some sort of nostalgia. The result is a flat, uncomfortably outdated gimmick that was already parodied anyway.

If Microsoft really wanted to generate interest for its product using pop music, the company should have just thrown a couple million dollars at the Jonas Brothers and Tokio Hotel for an old-fashioned cage match. First 300 hysterical teens in line get a free copy of Windows 7!

4 Softies and a Pizza Guy [MySpace; HT Silicon Alley Insider]

First, I feel like this comment from "K" shouldn't go un-cut-and-pasted, if only because of the old-timey locution:

WTF! you only gave the jonas brothers 1.5 stars?! You little!!!!!!! I hate Chicago Times! That's why no one will ever read this crap because the Jonas Brothers deserve so much more. And NO sex DOES NOT SELL! It's purely dirty and not appropriate for teenagers/tweens. Besides, they wear purity rings because they believe in it. Not just so they can get attention. Honestly the Jonas Brothers aren't like that. Posing seductively in front of Rolling STone cover? They were simply posing. It wasn't seductive so get over it. MOFO!

I'm just sad this didn't throw a "rassa frassa" in there somewhere.

"Lizzie" writes in about DeRogatis' insensitivity to Nick Jonas' health issues:

I saw your article concerning your response to the new Jonas Brothers album: A Little Bit Longer. I strongly disagree with the negative things you said about them. But especially your comment about the song "A Little Bit Longer" being cheesy. Not only is that insulting to Nick's reflection of his struggle with diabetes, but that song was also #1 on iTunes for more than a week. Nick's passion and talent with songwriting really shines through on that song, and I don't think that this song (or the whole album) deserves any critisism.

Here's hoping she hasn't stumbled across any Rock Of Love writeups lately. After all, that show did well in the ratings, too!

Next up is "Meghan," who... well, we'll just let her take it from here:

Okay so I just read your article on The Jonas Brothers in the Chicago Sun-Times and I was deeply disgusted by you.

Saying that the Naked Brothers Band is better than The Jonas Brothers is like saying that Green Day is bigger than The Beatles. Are you kidding me?! How many albums did the Naked Brothers Band?sell? Oh wait, that's right.?Nobody even heard about?their CD. Are you even sane? You clearly have no clue what you are talking about so you should stick to talking about food because that's?CLEARLY your main focus in life.

Also, if you're going to put pictures of them in your article, you might want to actually get their names right. On page 6D you said it was Kevin, then Joe, then Nick.

Hello idiot, its Nick then Joe and then Kevin. Kevin is 5 years older than Nick, how can you not tell them apart?

Talking about them having their purity rings isn't new news. You need to obviously get yourself in 2008 and realize that every single article about them talks about their rings. Good?journalist?don't repeat other journalists' work.

And saying that their song "BB Good" is a "prelude from a date rape" is the stupidest thing i have ever heard in my life. They're singing about going on a date; not raping someone. Rape is nothing to joke around about, let alone compare?it to music by 3 boys?from Disney.?

\You honestly make me so repulsed at men, its ridiculous. Your opinions, articles and stupid sayings repulse me like nothing else.

I hope you enjoy getting fired from the Chicago Sun-Times because you disgrace their newspaper and make them look like a joke.

"Good journalists" also know that people who write captions... oh, forget it.

There was also a mother who signed off her very angry letter with "Too bad your mother didn't tell you, 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!'," which seems to miss its own point in such an amazing way that it's almost jaw-dropping. So let's sign off with the one measly letter of support recieved by DeRo, which was so nice, the blog post excerpted it twice:

i thought your article was VERY well written. They are great musicians and i think outstanding people, but, i have to agree with most everything you said. The rollin stone cover wasnt cute, it was downright scandaleous, well,, more like sexy.. And the lyrics are pretty bad in some of their songs.

JUST thought you should know! your artical was just that and ARTicle.

are u going to their concert in CHICAGO tonight?

Jim Hubbard

Well, I guess support's support, right? Even if it comes in slightly mangled text-message form.

Hell hath no fury like Jonas fans scorned [Jim DeRogatis]
Earlier: Jonas Brothers Fans Launch Intimidation Campaign Against Washington Post Critic

For all of that hoopla, however, the band's reported earnings for the past year—about $12 million, comprised of touring and CD and merchandise sales—are as modest as their values (the boys, ages 15-20, wear "purity rings" to signify their commitment to sexual abstinence).



The $12 million figure landed them on Forbes magazine's list of top-earning celebrities. But it's not nearly enough for the Jonases to challenge, much less dethrone, billion-dollar pop star Miley Cyrus as the Queen of Tween.



Her reign may be waning, though, as gossip in Seventeen magazine (ironically, about her relationship with 15-year-old Nick Jonas) and racy photos in Vanity Fair have soured her image with some young fans.



The Jonas Brothers are a different matter. The group signed with Hollywood Records in December 2006 after a stint at another label as a Christian rock group. Their first album with Hollywood went platinum, but only lately have the boys begun to exploit other avenues to media dominance.

Perhaps the Jonas Brothers could put out a line of purity rings? Nothing feeds teen girls' hormones quite like abstinence paraphernalia.

The Jonases are likely to stick with Disney for the near future, since their Disney Channel show and movie have yet to launch. But it's an open question whether those projects will be anywhere near as successful as Cyrus's, whose 3-D tour movie has grossed $70 million worldwide so far and whose show, Hannah Montana, averages 3 million viewers an episode.

"There's no doubt that they're incredibly successful, that they are incredibly versatile, and that they have the stamp of approval from parents," says Michael Wood, vice president of TRU, a market-research firm in Northbrook, Illinois, of the Jonas Brothers. "But I think it is more of a stretch in terms of playing in all of those categories."

If you're Miley Cyrus, Wood says, your fans want to be you—they will buy your records, wear your clothes, and buy anything branded with you, from perfume to chocolate.

"It's very different for the Jonas Brothers," Wood adds. "Are young guys going to want to dress like them? I'm not so sure. I think gender alone will be somewhat of a challenge."

This is a really solid point. No matter how precious the Jonas Brothers may look to countless girls and women, they will probably never be able to pull off a clothing line since most boys ages 13-18 tend to lean more towards Plain White T's-style bro gear. Though it would be hilarious if they actually could inspire a snazzy vest fad among middle-school boys.

In the end, the surest bet for the brothers may be to face the music—literally.

"Miley Cyrus was built by a TV show," says Bob Lefsetz of the Lefsetz Letter, a music industry newsletter. He sees the Jonas Brothers as a more authentic, and therefore more sustainable, phenomenon.

"They had a deal with Sony before Hollywood Records. They play their own instruments, have a hand in writing their songs," Lefsetz says.

Because of that, the group might expect "a longer sales arc with less high peaks." Lefsetz agrees the act has major earning potential, but won't speculate as to how much.

While the claim that they "play their own instruments" may be a tad overblown (they do appear to play guitars now and then, but they've always got a full band of middle-aged studio dudes standing behind them), it is true that they're a lot more musically solid than most bands of their ilk. Case in point: the VMA-nominated "Burnin' Up."

Not a bad song at all. Who knows? One day they may even be rich because of their music, rather than their beautiful brown hair and tight pants.

The Jonas Brothers By-the-Numbers [Portfolio]
Billion-Dollar Boy Band? [Portfolio]

VIDEO OF THE YEAR NOMINEES
Chris Brown - Forever

The Jonas Brothers - Burnin' Up

The Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up

Britney Spears - Piece Of Me

The Ting Tings - Shut Up And Let Me Go

Britney Spears, Jonas Brothers Battle It Out For VMA Video Of The Year [MTV]
Video Music Awards nominations

Anyway, in an attempt to get the discussion back in the less nonsensical realm, Billboard notes that if the stars—and teenage girls' budgets—align correctly, the brothers will reach a milestone not yet seen in this century:

The Jonas Brothers may pull off another chart feat next week, too. With "Longer" an all-but-lock for No. 1, there's a good chance the sibling trio's sophomore set, "Jonas Brothers," now ranked No. 11, could return to the top 10. If they place two albums in the top 10 next week, it'll be the first time a group has done so since 'N Sync on the chart dated Jan. 2, 1999.

Ahem. I think that answers the question I posed above.

Jonas Brothers On Track For First No. 1 Album [Billboard]

In a profile of the pop group yesterday, du Lac identified the brothers as " Nick Jonas (15; the cute one), Joe Jonas (nearly 19; the hot one) and Kevin Jonas (20; the other one)." He also said Kevin "has the misfortune — or, perhaps, the great fortune — of being in a band with two guys who tend to overshadow him."

These words caused offense in the Jonas community.

The editors have decided that it's only fair to give the fans their say. Several of the dissenting e-mails are printed below, with unorthodox spelling and punctuation intact.

As for du Lac and his immediate supervisor, they have been chastised severely and ordered to spend the rest of the week reorganizing Bob Woodward's scrapbook.

It may appear as if they're using a sarcastic tone, but I sense a true undercurrent of fear, and I don't blame them. These girls mean business. Take a gander at this message from Victoria:

I and many other people took offense to the article that you wrote about the Jonas Brothers... because MANY people love Kevin, and he doesn't deserve to be disrespected like that. Just because he doesn't have millions of 8-year-olds chasing after him, doesn't mean that he doesn't have a sincere fan base, because he does. His true fans can see that he is funny, caring, and incredibly sweet.

He's amazing at the guitar, and if you've ever been to any of their concerts, you would know that. He spins around probably about ten times, while still playing. That takes alot of skill. He was the first of them to take up the instrument, and deserves alot of credit for getting the band started.

So don't assume that just because some of the shallow teenie boppers don't fall head over heels for him, that there aren't people who truly care about him.

i hope that you get where i'm going with this, and i'd appreciate it if in the future you could refrain from disrespecting one-third of the most amazing band in the world.

Not bad, Victoria, but the "He spins around probably about ten times, while still playing" argument gives you away as a newb to the glories of rock badassery. Next argument, please.

i am a 13 year old girl. and i cant stand when people talk about other people that i love. so you can see that there is alot of hate for him and ya'll don't even care! he could be at collage or doing his own thing now! but by helping his brothers this has turned into a HUGE thing!!! i am going to stop now! becoase i am in tears already ! so i hope you get the picture!

Yes, that's the old familiar Jonas Brothers fan tone that we all know and love. The last three e-mails interestingly all employ some sort of guilt/shame:

omg. i cant freaking belive the WASHINGTON POST! would write something like that about the amazing, gorgeous, and talented kevin jonas.

i thought you guys would be way higher than all of that crap....

i hope you enjoy all of the hatemail.

how could you be so rude! Kevin Jonas may not be as good looking as Joe and Nick, but if there was no Kevin, there would be no jonas brothers! That's horrible that anyone would publish something so cruel and mean! It's not just adults who read the washington post, there's LOTS of jonas fans too!

You do not have the right to criticize someone you don't even know! That's not right. That's biased. Ever heard the expression "Don't judge a book by its cover?" That DEFINATELY applies here. I bet if you were forced to spend a day with the Jonas Brothers, or just Kevin, you'd find out he's one of the sweetest, nicest guys around. So please stop hating on him. I thought only teenagers did that, but you're a grown man. GROW UP!

"You're writing below your own standards! We love your paper too, why do you hate us? You're judgmental and childish!" Man, these ladies are making leaps and bounds of logic. I think eventually it will evolve to the point that all Jonas Brothers detractors will be listed on a registry which will be made available to the public and used to warn communities of their presence. So let J. Freedom du Lac's mistake be a lesson to us all.

They Love Kevin Jonas! The Pop Critic, Not So Much [Washington Post]
ONE, TWO, THREEEEEEE! [Washington Post]

• "Front man Joe has a pleasantly raspy voice, and the band somehow manages to steer clear of syrupy ballads you might normally associate with a Disney-sanctioned act of Christian rockers. Well, for the most part, anyway. The title track details brother Nick's struggle with diabetes in slow motion, complete with tears and an unintentional nod to Joni Mitchell with the line, 'You don't know what you got 'til it's gone.' Although they attempt to wrestle with other teenage traumas, the brothers are at their best on the brilliantly mindless single 'Burnin' Up.' Now if only the kids would shut up long enough to listen." [San Francisco Chronicle]

• "Sure, lead single 'Burnin' Up' is an excellent attempt at Maroon 5-style pop-funk complete with a killer Latin-percussion breakdown, and Jack Johnson will probably lightly tap himself for not coming up with 'Love Bug' first. But too many of these songs get bogged down in chord changes and lyrics likely to sound worn-out even to a 10-year-old. ('You don't know what you've got till it's gone,' Nick sings in the title track.) I'm sure the Jonases are worn out: These little dudes work like crazy. But though Miley Cyrus manages it on her new one, making exhaustion seem interesting is no easy feat. Pick up the phone, guys—there's a whole fleet of Disney-pop pros waiting to help." [Village Voice]

• "Parents will be relieved to know that the Jonas Brothers are about as wholesome and innocent a band as you can hope for these days. There may not be a ton of variation in the music, but the messages are thoroughly positive and life-affirming." [Detroit Free Press]

BEST POP VIDEO:
Danity Kane - "Damaged"
Director: Syndrome

Jonas Brothers - "Burnin' Up"
Directors: Brendan Malloy & Tim Wheeler

Panic At The Disco - "Nine In The Afternoon"
Director: Shane Drake

Britney Spears - "Piece Of Me"
Director: Wayne Isham

Tokio Hotel - "Ready, Set, Go!"
Directors: Warwick & Haering

BEST HIP-HOP VIDEO:
Mary J. Blige - "Just Fine"
Director: Chris Applebaum

Lupe Fiasco - "Superstar"
Director: Hype Williams

Flo Rida - "Low"
Director: Bernard Gourley

Lil Wayne - "Lollipop"
Directors: Gil Green & Dwayne Carter

Kanye West - "Homecoming"
Director: Hype Williams

Video Music Awards [MTV.com]

ebay: $73 with two days to go (a bargain!)
eBay: $117.50 with six days to go
eBay one more time: $155 with one day to go (for a "near mint" DualDisc version, which has videos and such)
MsgAds.com: $250.00
Amazon Marketplace: $254.99 and up

Of course, the music on the disc can be acquired in more unsavory ways, which may be good news for the budget-conscious JoBros fan since Disney has no plans on reissuing the album.

With demand so high, might Hollywood Records consider a re-release of "It's About Time?" No, said a spokeswoman. She explained delicately that the music on the older album represented, shall we say, an earlier phase in the band's development.

Oooh, so icy! It's a shame, though, since "Mandy" kind of owns:

So a note to all you record-store owners out there: If people come in and buy multiple used copies of It's About Time despite not looking the demographic part, now you know why. (And you may want to rescue those CDs from your used bins and adjust the pricing accordingly, for profit-boosting purposes.)

A Rare CD by Today's Hot Boy Band: Bids Start at $160. Do I Hear $200? [NYT]

_ Choice Music Single: Jonas Brothers, "When You Look Me in the Eyes."
_ Choice Hook-Up: Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, "No Air."
_ Choice Music Male Artist: Chris Brown.
_ Choice Music Female Artist: Miley Cyrus.
_ Choice Music R&B Artist: Chris Brown.
_ Choice Breakout Group: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Music Love Song: Jonas Brothers, "When You Look Me in the Eyes."
_ Choice Music R&B Track: Chris Brown, "Forever."
_ Choice Music Rap/Hip-Hop Track: Lil Mama featuring T-Pain and Chris Brown, "Shawty Get Loose."
_ Choice Summer Song: Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up."

The Jonas Brothers also won "Choice Male Hottie" and "Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male" as a single entity, which is something of a neat trick that I'm sure will serve as some sort of impetus for their inevitable breakdown/breakup. Other music-related winners in non-music related categories, all of whom have something to do with some sort of music-related TV show during some point in their career:
_ Choice TV Show Comedy: "Hannah Montana."
_ Choice TV Reality Music Competition: "American Idol."
_ Choice TV Actress Comedy: Miley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana."
_ Choice TV Male Reality/Variety Star: David Cook, "American Idol."
_ Choice Male Hottie: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Female Hottie: Vanessa Hudgens.
_ Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Female: Carrie Underwood.
_ Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon Male: Jonas Brothers.
_ Choice Most Fanatic Fans: David Archuleta.

Teen Choice Awards Winners [AP]

Maybe it's because I've been watching how the Jonases' ascent has been meticulously plotted by Disney over the past year, and how—despite being successful, and having a bunch of songs that I enjoy—one could argue that they've sort of fallen short in a relative sense. Having their Disney vehicle Camp Rock and its attendant soundtrack debut during the great Coldplay/Lil Wayne sales race probably didn't help my perception of their potential for mass teen appeal; through last week, it had sold a good-for-2008 562,000 copies. And even though the teenpop crowd is supposed to be more immune from illegal downloading thanks to technological innovations like filtering software, sales of the JoBros' forthcoming album's lead single "Burning Up" softened in their third week, taking a 12% hit and just brushing the 400,000-sold mark. Meanwhile, their tour grosses this year have been decent, and their big headlining tour this summer is bringing out the StubHub profiteers once again, although the highest prices haven't reached Miley levels yet.

(Speaking of Miley, one would think that if RS were really going for the teen-girl-squad demographic, they'd have put her on the cover long ago. Perhaps Jann still has lingering Billy Ray issues from the early '90s, which, frankly, I couldn't possibly blame him for.)

Perhaps what's odd about the rush to embrace the Jonas Brothers—particularly on the part of the staid Stone—is that it seems like yet another naked attempt to champion The Way Things Were, i.e. when teenage girls all swooned for the same dreamy boys in unison, and the monoculture kept entities like RS and MTV in close proximity to the forefront of popular consensus. Even though the numbers haven't really borne out that sort of mass appeal yet. Perhaps ticket sales for the tour and the scans for A Little Bit Longer will completely prove me wrong, and I'll have egg on my face. That's fine! I just get wary when the mainstream media seems sort of, well, desperate to get eyeballs at any cost.

Anyway, I'm sure this post will be swarmed by Jonas Brothers fans telling me that I'm wrong, that I'm a "hater," etc. So let's just post another picture!

Aww.

The Jonas Brothers to perform at this year's VMAs [AP]
The Jonas Brothers: Go Behind The Cover Story [RS]
[Photo: AP]

Noted Muslim sympathizers the Jonas Brothers take the stage this week, which is probably a warmup for their appearances on every media outlet known to man in the forthcoming weeks. It's inevitable. We're losing control of our nation to the Jonases, a fate that will only be avoided if Tokio Hotel finally challenges the brothers to a duel.

The videos premiering tonight range from good to interesting to Shwayze.

Shwayze - "Corona & Lime"
Lesley Roy - "I'm Gone, I'm Going"
Slipknot - "Psychosocial"
Nelly - "Body On Me" (featuring Akon and Ashanti)

It's nice to see some metal scheduled in a slot outside of Headbanger's Ball these days, and the Lesley Roy song is enjoyable in a Paramore-light sort of way. I'm dubious about the Nelly track, if only because it's called "Body On Me'" and has both Akon and Ashanti guesting on it.

And then there's Shwayze. I understand that MTV is promoting an entire series featuring Shwayze and his lovable sidekick Cisco Adler, but is anyone asking for more of this guy? There hasn't been an act that's been more pushed down our collective throats, yet shrugged at by the public, in recent memory. Meanwhile, despite the public rejecting Cisco Adler any way it can, he keeps finding a way to sneak his way back into our lives.

Still, Slipknot! Perhaps they'll wear some new new masks.

Who The F's On FNMTV Tonight? [MTV Buzzworthy]

The two groups apparently became enraged when MTV's Buzzworthy blog posted about the word "fanboy" being added to the dictionary, citing Jonas Brothers and Tokio Hotel fanatics as possible inspirations for Merriam-Webster's decision. Angered members from both camps took to the comments section of the post for an epic war of words.

THA is the best fanclub there is. We have the best blog, and the best forum. I am not being biased :) I do have to say I am a little tired of Tokio Hotel getting compared to Jonas brothers.. because there really isn't a comparison. We have the same crazy fangirls, but JB's is an age range of 7-14, where as Tokio Hotel's fanbase ranges from 14-60+. Tokio hotel took over almost all of Europe, and the Jonas Brothers have merely one country they have made a name for themselves in, the U.S. They are not even a full band. They are just brothers that girls love because they are 'cute'. Tokio Hotel? That's real music, and best of all, they do not wear fake purity rings, but instead they are a real rock band that are not afraid to admit how many girls they banged before their interveiw. I do not see any similarities between the bands except that there are siblings in both bands, and the fans are a little crazy. Okay maybe more than a little, but, that's not in my control.

Tokio Hotel >>>>>>>> Jonas Brothers

Wow; you TH fans have *$#@~?? issues! You're seriously going to sit there and bash the Jonas Brothers when they've been around longer that TH?! LMFAO ; shows what kind of fans you really are.

JONAS BROTHERS ALL THE WAY!

But the battle didn't stop there.

But then things got out of hand ... really out of hand. Karleigh and Katie Santry, who run JonasBrothersFan.com, even say that angry Tokio Hotel fans started posting inappropriate material on their forums, including pornography and violent photos. "Morbid stuff," as the girls described it.

All this fuss for a band who look and sound like living Anime characters took music lessons from Evanescence. Sigh.

Having experienced firsthand both Jonas Brothers and Tokio Hotel fandemonium, I can confirm that both groups are essentially identical in terms of rabidness and delusion. The Jonas Brothers fans may skew a bit younger, and be more inclined to use lip gloss, but they're just one trip to Hot Topic away from the Tokio Hotel fandom. Six of one, half dozen of the other.

(Though, for the record, my official position is that the Jonas Brothers are far easier on the ears.)

Tokio Hotel Fans Wage Online War With Jonas Brothers Supporters [MTV Newsroom]
'Fanboy' Officially Added To The Dictionary; We Suspect Jonas Brothers And/Or Tokio Hotel Fans Were Partially Responsible [MTV Buzzworthy]

If you're trying to guess what might end up as Billboard's top song of 2008, you might take a gander at this week's Hot 100, where a prime contender is still sitting in the top three after peaking months ago.

That would be Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love," the neo-diva ballad that's outlasted anything her role model Mariah Carey has released so far this year. According to Nielsen SoundScan, which released its (mostly dismal) midyear report this week, Lewis' smash is the top-selling single for the six-month period beginning Dec. 31 and ending June 29.

That doesn't necessarily make the Lewis track a lock for the year's top prize, due to some technicalities which I'll discuss momentarily. But there is one thing that makes "Bleeding Love" emblematic of 2008: it's an undeniable smash single which has proven tough for the artist to follow up.

According to SoundScan, the first-half '08 best-sellers are "Bleeding Love," at 2.6 million downloads, Flo Rida's "Low" featuring T-Pain, with 2.4 million, and Jordin Sparks' duet with Chris Brown, "No Air," which sold 2.1 million. All three songs are currently charting on the Hot 100. This week, about two months after its four-week run at No. 1, "Bleeding" sits pretty at No. 3. Sparks' ballad, after peaking at No. 3, just fell out of the Top 10 last week, but it's still hanging on to the Top 20 at No. 18. And the unkillable former No. 1 "Low," now in its 36th week on the chart, finally falls out of the Top 40, down six spots to No. 42.

The Lewis and Sparks tracks sold virtually all of their copies in calendar 2008. But Flo Rida's hit did serious business last year—about another one and a half million sold in 2007. "Low," already the biggest-selling digital track of all time and still selling well (it ranks 52nd among this week's top digital songs), is now about 5,000 copies shy of total cumulative sales of 4 million.

Mr. Rida's 2007 sales are important to our discussion here, because as I've explained in this space before, Billboard persists in using an annoyingly skewed "chart year" in its year-end tallies, one that runs from Dec. 1 to Nov. 30. That extra month of sales will give "Low" a huge advantage in the year-end tally: it hit its stride last December and rose to No. 1 just after Christmas, months before anyone in America had even heard of Lewis.

Lewis is an established pop star in the UK, with three top hits to her credit (two No. 1's and a double-sided No. 2 single). It's too soon to say how she'll be regarded here, but so far, the Lewis phenomenon in America is all about one massive song; Sony/BMG has held off formally releasing a second single until mid-July. I say "formally," because of course, in the digital age, once an album is released any of its songs are de facto singles; and on the modern-day charts, any song radio chooses to play is Hot 100-eligible, regardless of a label's marketing plans.

So far, neither the public nor radio programmers have flocked to a second Lewis song en masse. The label's planned second hit is the thumping, midtempo pop track "Better in Time," which has been charting on Billboard's Pop 100 list for nearly two months (peaking at No. 45, now down a bit), but it has made no impression on the big chart. "Better" is Lewis' second-biggest seller at iTunes, but comparing it to "Bleeding" is like comparing a minnow to a baleen whale. Among all digital tracks, "Better" only ranks 176th in sales this week, with 8,200 copies. These are decent numbers for a song that's received little formal promotion as yet, but they're a little anemic for the followup single to the year's best-selling hit.

Lewis shouldn't be too dejected by this state of affairs—it's been a tougher year than expected for pop divas to follow up their hits. As I alluded above, Carey has had a tough time after her latest album produced a quick-burning No. 1, "Touch My Body." In the time it's taken Lewis' handlers to milk "Bleeding Love" for sales and airplay, Carey's people have already squeezed all they can out of "Touch" (now ranked No. 59 in its 20th and final week on the Hot 100); tried and failed with a second single, "Bye Bye" (peaked at No. 19, now down to No. 69); and started promoting a third hit, the Idolator-approved "I'll Be Lovin' U Long Time." That third Carey single debuts this week at No. 100...on the Pop 100, not the Hot 100, where it is still M.I.A. So much for the year of Mimi.

And forget the divas—what about digital-sales giant Flo Rida? After "Low," his Timbaland-assisted second single "Elevator" was a flop, peaking quickly at No. 16 before plummeting off the chart in under three months. And one week after his third single, "In the Ayer," debuted at a more-than-solid No. 38, it's down to No. 40.

Other than Sparks, who can still hope that her post-American Idol album will produce a third Top 10 charter ("One Step at a Time" debuts this week at No. 79), none of this year's biggest smash songs has been followed by a serious hit.

That's not to say no one is having a good year: Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" is finally giving way to "A Milli" (up seven spots to No. 14); and Rihanna, still riding "Take a Bow" in the top five, has "Distrubia" waiting in the wings (up seven to No. 11—a surprise after her fluke debut last week).

But in a digital-fueled, singles-based economy, the charts are getting crueler all the time.

Here's a rundown of the rest of this week's charts:

• As we forecast last week, the Jonas Brothers made a splashy debut on the chart. "Burnin' Up" materializes all the way up at No. 5—the second-biggest debut of the year after David Cook's No. 3 appearance last month with "The Time of My Life."

The Jonases probably would have placed even higher if the song had stronger radio airplay—thus far, it's nonexistent on the Hot 100 Airplay list, but it ranks 31st on the all-Top 40 Pop 100 Airplay list. Expect "Burnin'" to hold on or move higher, unless fans get distracted by a succession of pre-album Jonas singles Disney plans to drop in the next few weeks. Speaking of which...

• A few weeks ago in this space, I talked at length about the unusual multi-single strategies fueling the recent blockbuster albums by Lil Wayne and Coldplay. According to a story in last week's Billboard, this is a more coherent strategy than I first suspected, and (like so many things on the charts these days) it's spurred by iTunes:

"Releasing a single for digital download before an album's debut is about as standard these days as making it available to radio. But in the past few months, labels and artists have begun releasing multiple tracks in advance of an album's street date to promote new releases, relying in no small degree on Apple's iTunes Music Store's Complete My Album feature to convert them into full-album sales — in some cases with striking effectiveness."

It's been a while since I've said anything nice about the music industry, but kudos to the labels' promotion teams. This strategy takes advantage of an Apple feature in a way that benefits pretty much everybody: insatiable fans, who get to buy early singles confident they'll save money off the iTunes album release later; the acts, who don't have to be bound by the old, hidebound one-track-every-quarter release strategy; the labels, who protect their first-week album sales numbers; and Apple, of course.

Expect numerous superstar acts to try what we'll now refer to as "pulling a Weezy," dropping an array of early singles in the leadup to their albums' release dates. The Jonases are first—they'll prep fans for the mid-August release of A Little Bit Longer with, in order, "Pushing Me Away" on July 15, "Tonight" (no relation to the old New Kids hit, I guess) on July 29, and the title track on Aug. 5.

Top 10s
Last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses (Digital Songs chart includes total downloads/percentage change in parentheses):

Hot 100
1. Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl" (LW No. 1, 8 weeks)
2. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 2, 16 weeks)
3. Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love" (LW No. 3, 20 weeks)
4. Rihanna, "Take a Bow" (LW No. 4, 12 weeks)
5. Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up" (CHART DEBUT)
6. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 6, 8 weeks)
7. Plies feat. Ne-Yo, "Bust It Baby (Part 2)" (LW No. 8, 14 weeks)
8. Chris Brown, "Forever" (LW No. 7, 10 weeks)
9. Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas, "This Is Me" (LW No. 11, 2 weeks)
10. Natasha Bedingfield, "Pocketful of Sunshine" (LW No. 5, 20 weeks)

Hot Digital Songs
1. Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl" (LW No. 1, 204,000 downloads, -6%)
2. Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up" (CHART DEBUT, 183,000 downloads)
3. Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas, "This Is Me" (LW No. 2, 123,000 downloads, +7%)
4. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 3, 137,000 downloads, +7%)
5. Rihanna, "Disturbia" (LW No. 6, 112,000 downloads, +2%)
6. Miley Cyrus, "7 Things" (LW No. 4, 106,000 downloads, -19%)
7. The Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up" (LW No. 5, 103,000 downloads, -20%)
8. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 8, 93,000 downloads, -15%)
9. Metro Station, "Shake It" (LW No. 10, 91,000 downloads, -11%)
10. Rihanna, "Take a Bow" (LW No. 9, 88,000 downloads, -13%)

Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs
1. Keyshia Cole, "Heaven Sent" (LW No. 1, 14 weeks)
2. Lil Wayne, "A Milli" (LW No. 4, 10 weeks)
3. Plies feat. Ne-Yo, "Bust It Baby (Part 2)" (LW No. 3, 18 weeks)
4. The-Dream, "I Luv Your Girl" (LW No. 5, 18 weeks)
5. Chris Brown, "Take You Down" (LW No. 6, 14 weeks)
6. Alicia Keys, "Teenage Love Affair" (LW No. 7, 20 weeks)
7. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 2, 16 weeks)
8. Usher feat. Beyonce and Lil Wayne, "Love in This Club, Part II" (LW No. 8, 10 weeks)
9. Trey Songz, "Last Time" (LW No. 9, 22 weeks)
10. Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West, "Put On" (LW No. 10, 8 weeks)

Hot Country Songs
1. Montgomery Gentry, "Back When I Knew It All" (LW No. 3, 19 weeks)
2. Blake Shelton, "Home" (LW No. 2, 23 weeks)
3. Kenny Chesney, "Better as a Memory" (LW No. 1, 15 weeks)
4. Alan Jackson, "Good Time" (LW No. 5, 12 weeks)
5. Dierks Bentley, "Trying to Stop Your Leaving" (LW No. 7, 25 weeks)
6. Brooks & Dunn, "Put a Girl in It" (LW No. 9, 10 weeks)
7. Carrie Underwood, "Last Name" (LW No. 4, 16 weeks)
8. Sugarland, "All I Want to Do" (LW No. 10, 6 weeks)
9. Brad Paisley, "I'm Still a Guy" (LW No. 6, 19 weeks)
10. Keith Anderson, "I Still Miss You" (LW No. 12, 22 weeks)

Hot Modern Rock Tracks
1. Weezer, "Pork & Beans" (LW No. 1, 11 weeks)
2. The Offspring, "Hammerhead" (LW No. 2, 8 weeks)
3. Foo Fighters, "Let It Die" (LW No. 3, 13 weeks)
4. Linkin Park, "Given Up" (LW No. 4, 17 weeks)
5. Seether, "Rise Above This" (LW No. 5, 19 weeks)
6. Death Cab for Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart" (LW No. 6, 15 weeks)
7. Disturbed, "Inside the Fire" (LW No. 9, 14 weeks)
8. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 12, 4 weeks)
9. Nine Inch Nails, "Discipline" (LW No. 7, 10 weeks)
10. Flobots, "Handlebars" (LW No. 8, 13 weeks)

In the last two years, we've seen several impressive feats on Billboard's Hot 100 by Disney Channel-groomed pop acts, and this week, we see another.

Four songs from the Jonas Brothers vehicle Camp Rock, which premiered on the channel last week, debut within the Top 40. And separately, Miley Cyrus previews her first album unattached from the Hannah Montana brand—and quickly scores her second-ever Top 10 hit.

Dig below these impressive numbers, and it becomes apparent that this is not necessarily another short-lived High School Musical-style chart blip. One week into summer, teenpop may be launching one of its once-a-decade all-out assaults on the pop charts—the kind of siege that will make even you, person over 18, forcibly aware of these songs faster than you can say "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)."

Let's run down the five Top 40 debutantes. Cyrus' "7 Things," an odd rock/country-lite hybrid, shoots 60 spots to No. 10, powered by its release on iTunes, where it sells more than 100,000 downloads in its first full week on sale. That matches the Hot 100 peak of her biggest hit to date, "See You Again," which peaked at No. 10 two months ago.

Coming in at Nos. 11, 20, 30 and 33 are the four Camp Rock songs: respectively, the climactic power ballad by costars Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas, "This Is Me"; a Jonas Brothers rocker, "Play My Music"; a wounded solo ballad by Joe Jonas, "Gotta Find You"; and the full-cast singalong "We Rock." (Somehow, I doubt that.) All four are fueled exclusively by download sales, ranging from about 68,000 for "We Rock" to 135,000 for the Lovato-Jonas duet.

This is the fifth time in the last two and a half years that the Hot 100 has been slammed with a wave of tunes from a Disney Channel soundtrack. In February 2006, eight songs from cast members of the first High School Musical stormed the chart. Nine months later, seven songs credited to Cyrus' alter ego Hannah Montana materialized. Cyrus followed that up in July 2007 with a hybrid Hannah soundtrack and straight-up studio album; five songs from that project (one by Cyrus, four by "Hannah") hit the chart at once. Just over a month later, seven songs by assorted High School Musical 2 cast members hit the chart.

Virtually all of these 27 songs stayed on the charts for a week or two at most; you can expect this week's four-song Camp Rock sortie to be gone by mid-July. All scored virtually imperceptible airplay on any station that doesn't syndicate Radio Disney's programming (such feeds generally don't count toward the Hot 100). Basically, these songs got a massive hit of iTunes sales in week one; they debuted on the Hot 100 solely thanks to those sales points; they slacked off in sales within a couple of weeks (as rabid tweens moved on to buying the soundtrack CDs, or just plain moved on); and, still unsupported by any radio airplay, they fell off the chart.

However, what's made the last 12 months interesting for tweenpop is the emergence of some longer-lasting hits that worked their way up the chart the hard way. Cyrus's "See You Again" debuted last Christmas and peaked nearly five months later, a slow, steady, pretty traditional chart run; in addition to its 1.7 million cumulative song sales, it scored serious adult-radio play, peaking just outside the top 10 of the airplay-only chart. The Jonases haven't scored their first big crossover hit yet (wait), but of their four previous Hot 100 entries, three were Top 40 hits and had multiple-month chart runs. The biggest, "S.O.S.," peaked at No. 17 and stayed on the chart for more than five months; the second-biggest, the No. 25 ballad "When You Look Me in the Eyes," ran for two months and scored several weeks' worth of measurable adult-radio airplay.

In short, the last few months' activity feels like it could be the throat-clearing for a late-aughts mini-era of teenpop dominance, not unlike the mini-eras we experienced in the last two years of the '80s and '90s. The 1988-90 period was only really dominated by one act, New Kids on the Block, but I'm sure everyone reading this remembers teenpop's '90s ascent in the States, from terminal unhipness around 1996 to chart dominance by 1999. Halfway through '08, the signs of breakthrough are there: under-18s are drowning in the stuff, but mainstream radio program directors won't succumb until they finally have to. We're just waiting for that first Backstreet Boys-size smash to break things wide open.

Looks like we're about to get it: the top seller on iTunes as I type is the Jonas Brothers' "Burnin' Up," the leadoff single from their preordained blockbuster A Little Bit Longer. The digital track was just released at the end of last week and its sales haven't been reported yet, but it's a safe bet they'll be massive. A Top 10 debut on next week's Hot 100 is a near-lock.

I've been passively eyeing the Jonases over the past year and enjoying their output only moderately, but "Burnin'" is catchy as hell, with a lite-funk sound that's credibly compatible with mainstream radio. On pure pop stations, at least, the song is already making inroads: it ranks 51st on Billboard's Pop 100 Airplay list in its first week. After their brief Top 40 radio dalliance with "Eyes" this past winter, the JoBros might have finally delivered the hit that radio can't ignore—like it or not.

Here's a rundown of the rest of this week's charts:

• Before we leave the topic of teenpop, I should mention that the comeback Kids are all right: "Summertime," by the now-manly New Kids on the Block, is three spaces away from the Top 40. Digital sales have held up since its debut—this week's 46,000-download total is the largest to date—and on pop stations, the song is nearing the top 20 in airplay. Next week, assuming a big Jonas debut, we could be looking at the new guard and old guard attacking the Top 40 at the same time. (Can someone get Hanson into a studio with some Swedish producers stat?)

• The second-biggest debut on the Hot 100, and the biggest not affiliated with Camp Rock, is Rihanna's "Disturbia" at No. 19. Like her short-lived chart-topper "Take a Bow" a month ago, the new tune (seemingly unrelated to movies starring Shia LaBeouf) is a bonus track from the fan-soaking rerelease of her most recent album. A clubby throwdown in the mode of "Don't Stop the Music," "Disturbia" in its debut week actually outsells "Bow" at iTunes. But "Bow" is belatedly blooming as a radio smash, which explains its higher Hot 100 position (No. 4). It's now the fourth most-played song at radio nationwide, as "Bow" gains traction at R&B radio along with Top 40; it's nearing the Top 20 on the R&B/Hip-Hop chart.

All three bonus tracks on Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded have made splashy debuts on the Hot 100, but so far the underpeformer is Ri's duet with Maroon 5, "If I Never See Your Face Again," which has been knocking around mid-chart ever since its debut seven weeks ago; it falls two spots to No. 55 this week. The track could get a promotional boost from the mid-July debut of Maroon 5's own ripoff re-release, which will also include "Face."

• As if the Hot 100's new No. 1 single, Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl," weren't depressing enough, it also earns a singular chart distinction that means something to us hardcore chart geeks. According to Billboard chart-trivia god Fred Bronson, "Kissed" is the 1,000th No. 1 single of the Rock Era.

That is, according to what I call the "Bronson Method," which mixes the Hot 100, launched in 1958, with three years' worth of No. 1s from a predecessor chart.

When he launched his much-beloved Billboard Book of No. 1 Hits in 1985, Bronson codified a yardstick for measuring the Rock Era that persists to this day—beginning not with the recording of "Rocket 88" or the founding of Sun Records but with the chart success of Bill Haley and His Comets' "Rock Around the Clock" in 1955. Bronson didn't invent this starting line, of course (it had been in popular discourse for decades before), but he did use it to establish "Clock" as the first official Rock Era No. 1, counting up from there. Here, things get technical: for the early years before the Hot 100 launched, 1955 through 1958, Bronson relies on Billboard's then-dominant Best Sellers in Stores chart. This puts him slightly at odds with the other major chart historian and author, the legendary Joel Whitburn, whose Billboard reference books list numerous No. 1's from 1955 to 1958 that topped such long-gone lists as Most Played By Jockeys and Most Played in Jukeboxes.

If you count by Whitburn's multiple-charts method, Katy Perry's song is actually the 1,026th No. 1 of the Rock Era, and the 1,000th, Akon's "I Wanna Love You," came two years ago. If you count only No. 1s on the Hot 100, starting with the chart's launch in August 1958, Perry has the 961st.

Still, the Bronson Method persists for good reasons: it's simpler than any other method, it covers the generally undisputed entirety of the Rock Era, and it's been in a best-selling chart book (with friendly, large-type numbers in the corners of each page) for more than 20 years.

In his online column this week, Bronson lists the 10 songs that topped the chart at every 100-mark, starting with the 100th, 200th and so on up to Perry's 1,000th hit. (Her crapfest is the outlier; the other nine are mostly great songs, like "Paint It Black," "Maggie May," "Lovin' You" and "Like a Virgin.") To honor Bronson's method but ignore Perry's achievement, I prefer to list the songs that topped the chart at the triple-digits, up to last week's 999th No. 1—like so:

111: Ray Charles, "I Can't Stop Loving You" (1962)
222: Nancy and Frank Sinatra, "Somethin' Stupid" (1967)
333: Stevie Wonder, "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" (1973)
444: Walter Murphy and the Big Apple Band, "A Fifth of Beethoven" (1976)
555: Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, "Ebony and Ivory" (1982)
666: U2, "With or Without You" (1987)
777: Surface, "The First Time" (1991)
888: Mariah Carey feat. Jay-Z, "Heartbreaker" (1999)
999: Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (2008)

Okay, it's not as great a list as Bronson's 100s. But at least it doesn't have any lurid girl-kissing in it.

Top 10s
Last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses (Digital Songs chart includes total downloads/percentage change in parentheses):

Hot 100
1. Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl" (LW No. 2, 7 weeks)
2. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 3, 15 weeks)
3. Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love" (LW No. 4, 19 weeks)
4. Rihanna, "Take a Bow" (LW No. 5, 11 weeks)
5. Natasha Bedingfield, "Pocketful of Sunshine" (LW No. 6, 19 weeks)
6. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 1, 7 weeks)
7. Chris Brown, "Forever" (LW No. 8, 9 weeks)
8. Plies feat. Ne-Yo, "Bust It Baby (Part 2)" (LW No. 11, 13 weeks)
9. The Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up" (LW No. 18, 4 weeks)
10. Miley Cyrus, "7 Things" (LW No. 70, 3 weeks)

Hot Digital Songs
1. Katy Perry, "I Kissed a Girl" (LW No. 2, 217,000 downloads, +0.4%)
2. Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas, "This Is Me" (CHART DEBUT, 135,000 downloads)
3. Coldplay, "Viva la Vida" (LW No. 1, 127,000 downloads, -48%)
4. Miley Cyrus, "7 Things" (LW No. 48, 130,000 downloads, +402%)
5. The Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up" (LW No. 11, 128,000 downloads, +71%)
6. Rihanna, "Disturbia" (CHART DEBUT, 111,000 downloads)
7. Jonas Brothers, "Play My Music" (CHART DEBUT, 109,000 downloads)
8. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 7, 107,000 downloads, +8%)
9. Rihanna, "Take a Bow" (LW No. 4, 102,000 downloads, -8%)
10. Metro Station, "Shake It" (LW No. 3, 103,000 downloads, -14%)

Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs
1. Keyshia Cole, "Heaven Sent" (LW No. 1, 13 weeks)
2. Lil Wayne feat. Static Major, "Lollipop" (LW No. 3, 15 weeks)
3. Plies feat. Ne-Yo, "Bust It Baby (Part 2)" (LW No. 2, 17 weeks)
4. Lil Wayne, "A Milli" (LW No. 7, 9 weeks)
5. The-Dream, "I Luv Your Girl" (LW No. 4, 17 weeks)
6. Chris Brown, "Take You Down" (LW No. 5, 13 weeks)
7. Alicia Keys, "Teenage Love Affair" (LW No. 6, 19 weeks)
8. Usher feat. Beyonce and Lil Wayne, "Love in This Club, Part II" (LW No. 8, 9 weeks)
9. Trey Songz, "Last Time" (LW No. 9, 21 weeks)
10. Young Jeezy feat. Kanye West, "Put On" (LW No. 17, 7 weeks)

Hot Country Songs
1. Kenny Chesney, "Better as a Memory" (LW No. 1, 14 weeks)
2. Blake Shelton, "Home" (LW No. 3, 22 weeks)
3. Montgomery Gentry, "Back When I Knew It All" (LW No. 6, 18 weeks)
4. Carrie Underwood, "Last Name" (LW No. 2, 15 weeks)
5. Alan Jackson, "Good Time" (LW No. 7, 11 weeks)
6. Brad Paisley, "I'm Still a Guy" (LW No. 4, 18 weeks)
7. Dierks Bentley, "Trying to Stop Your Leaving" (LW No. 8, 24 weeks)
8. Rascal Flatts, "Every Day" (LW No. 5, 18 weeks)
9. Brooks & Dunn, "Put a Girl in It" (LW No. 10, 9 weeks)
10. Sugarland, "All I Want to Do" (LW No. 13, 5 weeks)

Hot Modern Rock Tracks
1. Weezer, "Pork & Beans" (LW No. 1, 10 weeks)
2. The Offspring, "Hammerhead" (LW No. 2, 7 weeks)
3. Foo Fighters, "Let It Die" (LW No. 3, 12 weeks)
4. Linkin Park, "Given Up" (LW No. 4, 16 weeks)
5. Seether, "Rise Above This" (LW No. 5, 18 weeks)
6. Death Cab for Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart" (LW No. 6, 14 weeks)
7. Nine Inch Nails, "Discipline" (LW No. 8, 9 weeks)
8. Flobots, "Handlebars" (LW No. 7, 12 weeks)
9. Disturbed, "Inside the Fire" (LW No. 9, 13 weeks)
10. The Raconteurs, "Salute Your Solution" (LW No. 10, 13 weeks)

Choice Music: Single
Chris Brown - With You
Jonas Brothers - When You Look Me In The Eyes
Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes
Miley Cyrus - See You Again
Rihanna - Don't Stop the Music

Choice Music: Hook-Up
Flo Rida Featuring T-Pain - Low
Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown - No Air
Lil Mama featuring Chris Brown & T-Pain - Shawty Get Loose
Madonna featuring Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes
Nelly featuring Fergie - Party People

Choice Music: Male Artist
Chris Brown
Jesse McCartney
Justin Timberlake
Kanye West
Usher

Choice Music: Female Artist
Britney Spears
Fergie
Mariah Carey
Miley Cyrus
Rihanna

Choice Music: Rap Artist
Flo Rida
Kanye West
Lil Mama
Lil Wayne
Lupe Fiasco

Choice Music: R&B Artist
Beyoncé
Chris Brown
Rihanna
T-Pain
Usher

Choice Music: Rock Group
Boys Like Girls
Fall Out Boy
Linkin Park
Paramore
Simple Plan

Choice Music: Breakout Artist
Colbie Caillat
Flo Rida
Jordin Sparks
Leona Lewis
Taylor Swift

Choice Music: Breakout Group
Day 26
Girlicious
Jonas Brothers
OneRepublic
Paramore

Choice Music: Love Song
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
No Air - Chris Brown & Jordin Sparks
No One - Alica Keys
When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers

Choice Music: R&B Track
Damaged - Danity Kane
Forever - Chris Brown
Hey Baby (Jump Off) - Bow Wow and Omarion
Bye Bye - Mariah Carey
Take You There - Sean Kingston

Choice Music: Rap/Hip-Hop Track
Homecoming - Kanye West featuring Chris Martin
Party People - Nelly featuring Fergie
The Anthem - Pitbull featuring Lil Jon
Shawty Get Loose - Lil Mama featuring Chris Brown and T-Pain
Superstar - Lupe Fiasco featuring Matthew Santos

Choice Music: Rock Track
Nine in the Afternoon - Panic At The Disco
crushcrushcrush - Paramore
Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park
Stop and Stare - OneRepublic
The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls

MILEY CYRUS HANGS TEN AS HOST OF "TEEN CHOICE 2008" MONDAY, AUGUST 4, ON FOX [ohnotheydidn't]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: There's no doubt the old coots writing these songs know what they're doing. The High School Musical formula—inspirational messages, frenzied hooks, and plenty of Autotune—was like sugar-flavored crack for the tween demographic, and the music on Camp Rock is wisely, though perhaps unfortunately, written in that vein. There are a few songs that really shine, like the "Lip Gloss"-recalling "What It Takes," the lighter-waving ballad (complete with swelling string section!) "Here I Am," and, not surprisingly, the Jonas Brothers' jaunty show-stopper "Play My Music." "Who Will I Be" and "Too Cool" aren't bad per se, but they sound as if they were created by a perpetual motion machine fueled by cocaine and Red Bull, and are too frantic by half. "Start the Party," a synth-dominated dance number, sounds like an Aaron Carter reject, and is the only flat-out atrocious track on the album. Overall, though, the songs are catchy enough and entirely competent, but if you got sidetracked while listening to it, Camp Rock would blend into a hum of white noise. T