Kevin Federline claims to have made less than $10,000 from his music career since May, evidently surviving off child support and that Super Bowl ad. Yesterday, Federline's lawyer released financial documents in court as part of his custody battle against Britney Spears. Despite some big, big tippin' ($2,000 on a $365 meal bill at a strip club!), Federline made only a fraction of the $74k he spent on "music production" in the same period. No word on who the fuck gave K-Fed that 10 grand. [AP]
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Obviously mash-ups are, like, so over, but sometimes...sometimes it just feels so right! Ladies and gentlemen: RadioFed, the unholy brainchild of some NYU creative types, and the single greatest MySpace music page in existence. It has everything you could want out of music in just two tracks: "Popozao," Radiohead, the Inspector Gadget theme.
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- Bobby Brown had trouble remembering his song lyrics during a recent Hamptons gig. When in doubt, he should always hold close to that ancient Zen koan: "For while man may be too hot to handle, he is also, conversely, too cold to hold." [Page Six] 
- Kevin Federline will get $1 million from his divorce settlement, which will allow him to buy approximately 166,944 used copies of Playing With Fire from Amazon, plus two sticks of Axe Dry. [Evening Standard]
- EMI is moving to Jersey City, where a state-law loophole allows for a landfill dedicated to storing copies of the last Dandy Warhols album. [New York Observer]
In what will probably be Kevin Federline's best piece of press all week—and, we swear, our last mention of this ferret-eyed nincompoop forever—The Smoking Gun has published his tour rider. And we're pretty sure who helped him write it up:
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Despite a 28% drop in sales, the soundtrack to the Billy Ray Cyrus-and-spawn Disney Channel vehicle Hannah Montana held on to the Billboard 200's No. 1 slot this week.Hannah's 203,000 copies sold bested Barry Manilow, whose The Greatest Songs of the Sixties came in at No. 2, by only 1,000 copies.
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Oh my God, y'all. The dream is over. Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline, citing "irreconcilable differences."
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A stark reminder that persons of dubious talent should try and schedule their buzz-generating shows before people actually hear the record in question: the New York Post is hearing rumors that Kevin Federline's big coming-out party in New York City, which is scheduled for this Saturday at Webster Hall, may be canceled because of low ticket sales. Either the desired price for an ironic night out in New York City has dropped to somewhere below $26.20, or there's a lot of crossover between K-Fed fans and people who want to see The Fall.
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We've just received word that AOL Music is hosting an online listening party for the debut album from Britney spouse/leech Kevin Federline, Playing With Fire. But we can't bear to listen to the damn thing this early in the 
Unfortunately, embedding is disabled for the YouTube clips of Kevin Federline on last night's edition of Monday Night Raw, but we're here to help—skip to Part III, and you can bypass K-Fed's mind-numbing attempts to insult the crowd and watch as he gets slammed to the mat by fellow hip-hop wannabe John Cena. The best part? K-Fed doesn't say a word in the clip. Now that is some fine editing.
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In case you've forgotten, tonight's Law & Order features its lamest ripped-from-the-headlines storyline yet, in which a fedora-wearing, pop-star-courting knucklehead gets caught up in a paparazzi-related murder: More »
When a cop is murdered in a failed burglary attempt, Detectives Ed Green (Jesse L. Martin) and Nina Cassady (new series regular Milena Govich "Conviction") are led to a "stalkerazzi" photographer (guest star Khan Baykal as Gary Blanchard) hot on the trail of tabloid sensation Sky Sweet (guest star Barbara King), and her estranged husband "J-Train" Smolka (guest star Wayne Wilcox).
- 50 Cent, aggravated with P. Diddy and not worried about losing his White Party invite, drops a track that claims Diddy knows who shot The Notorious B.I.G. And all this frustration seems to be the result of 50 wanting to work with ... Ma$e? Seriously? [MTV]
-Kevin Federline signs a deal with Sony BMG for his debut album, Playing With Fire. It will be released on Halloween, just one of 365 days a year in which Federline dresses up as an ass-clown. [AllHipHop]
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