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Posts Tagged “KiSS”

idolator gift guide

Kiss' Mr. Potato Head Line Was Made For Spudding You, Baby

Why would one be surprised that Kiss had branched out into a line of branded Mr. Potato Head dolls? After all, they've hawked condoms, and coffins, and Barack Obama T-shirts, and coffee, and... well, the list goes on. But there's something almost cuddly about these renderings of Kiss in spud form, a certain roundness that's missing from the latest comic-book renderings of the group. And it's making me want to force through a lot of puns involving Kiss song titles and various ways of serving potatoes—"I Love It Baked"? "Turn On The Broiler"? "Cold G(rat)in"?—but instead I'll just show you the prototypes of the potatoes themselves, because really, the headline of this post alone is groanworthy enough. More »

It Can Also Be Used For "Practice" Blood-Spitting Sessions "The KISS Coffeehouse is releasing KISS Hotter Than Hell Ketchup! The Coffeehouse will be sampling KISS Ketchup & fries at noon on Sept 6th. Bottles of KISS Ketchup will be on sale for $7.95." [KissOnline

for those about to tour, we salute you

Possibly Touring: Bands You Might Like


In one of the stranger promotional teasers in recent memory, CAA managing partner Rob Light disclosed a list of acts that should be touring the States next year to HITS. Among them: Wal-Mart favs AC/DC, who haven't toured since 2003, and KISS, who might creak around arenas once again. Other acts mentioned by Light include Usher, Miley Cyrus, Mariah Carey, Eric Clapton, Stevie Wonder, Christina Aguilera, Depeche Mode, Green Day, Kid Rock, Slipknot, and, in an announcement that's sure to please all those bloggers with cameraphones, Daft Punk. Pretty sure someone is preparing a fake Coachella lineup poster listing all of these acts as we speak. [HITS Daily Double]

knights in ads' service

Five Kiss Songs That Could Easily Be Turned Into Jingles

The "writing ad-ready songs for the enjoyment of viewers at home and the delight of network accounting departments" reality show Jingles has had its debut, which was scheduled for later this month, pushed back by CBS, but that isn't stopping the network from letting the world know that Kiss bassist and entrepreneur Gene Simmons is going to be one of the show's judges. (I'm guessing he's going to take the acid-tongued "Simon" spot on the panel.) This caused me to think about how Simmons' body of work could itself be employed for the purposes of selling crap that people don't really don't need, via the time-tested "out of context lyric used to shill for a slightly incongruous product" method that so many ads employ these days. Five possible examples of how you could hear Kiss songs during breaks in Law & Order reruns after the jump. More »

it's not wise to put things in gene's mouth

Is Gene Simmons Really Pissed Off At Radiohead?

Several Web sites are reporting that Gene Simmons is angry at Radiohead, based on this quote: "The record industry is dead. "It's six feet underground and unfortunately the fans have done this. They've decided to download and file share. There is no record industry around so we're going to wait until everybody settles down and becomes civilized. As soon as the record industry pops its head up we'll record new material." OK, so greedy fans are keeping us from songs that rhyme "hot" with "got," but what does that have to do with Radiohead? Are we taking his disappointment with the band on faith? More »

what about love, indeed?

Desmond Child: A Loving Tribute

In a long-overdue bit of acknowledgement, Desmond Child—the man behind many of the finest in '80s power ballads, as well as disco Kiss and Ricky Martin—will enter the Songwriters' Hall Of Fame on Thursday, along with relatively minor songwriting figures as John Sebastian, Loretta Lynn, and Albert Hammond. Child tells the Miami Herald, "It was funny because I had been nominated twice before but I hadn't made it, and I spoke to the heads of it and they said, 'Well, we always thought you were too young to get it, but then we recently looked at your bio and realized you are old. You just looked young.'' As most of his big-name collaborators are out touring this summer, Desmond Child has been forced "by default" to reunite his late '70s combo Rouge for the ceremony. While it would be insane to try and list all of his greatest achievements ("Kiss The Rain"? "Born To Be My Baby"? "Shake Your Bon Bon"?), we've compiled a list of every ASCAP-registered song of his that features the word "love" in the title. Can you guess how many there are? More »

bring back the ankh warrior!

Kiss Plans Reality Show To Find Replacements For The Whole Band

Kiss is fun to see live, sure, but who hasn't thought they could use replacements for Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley? With all the hip surgery and facelifts, they've seen better days. And now that it's been established that people don't care who's hiding behind the make-up, Gene and Paul are thinking about getting out of the band and letting America pick who should be the new Starchild, Demon, Spaceman, and Kitty Cat. While I definitely would need a lot of exercise to fit into Paul's leotard, I'm already practicing my "'WOAH-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-OH-WOAH-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" I can't play a power chord without strutting around, guys! I even act the fool when I play Guitar Hero. And I know you've already got some wigs I could use. More »

kissyfaces

Gene Simmons: Lover, Fighter, Condoleeza Rice Fan

"U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may have attended just four rock concerts in her life, but the rock band Kiss apparently thinks she is pretty cool. After a day-long international conference on Iraq, Rice was dining Thursday evening with Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt at a 19th-century villa when a call came in that Kiss was in the Nordic capital on a tour and wanted to see her, aides said. ... Rice and her entourage returned to their hotel and gathered with the rock stars in a conference room where photos were taken of the occasion — without the band members wearing their trademark black-and-white facial make-up." Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Gene asked Condi how she would have replied to his "how do you feel about whores?" essay contest. [Reuters]

speaking frehley

Ace Frehley Plans "Spectacular" Post-Show Meet And Greets

Early this morning, I thought that posting about this would be indicative of a very slow news day. And while it is, I've realized just how unbelievably awesome it is that Ace Frehley has canceled planned meet-and-greets following shows on his European tour because he has "ideas which would make such meetings spectacular," and they need time to blossom. What popped in his head? "It's just not right to do this without my Kiss outfit on?" "If I can't meet and greet with lasers coming out of my hands while strapped to a harness, there's no point to this at all?" Did he hear how many people turned up in Helsinki to see the guy who wears his make up now and get jealous? What exactly does he have to do to "perfect these meet-and-greets?" The mind boggles! More »

for the literary strutter

Former Schoolteacher Gene Simmons Assigns 200-Word Essay On Whores

Usually, if you wanted Gene Simmons on your voicemail, all you had to do is tell one of his security people that you'd like to blow him. Now there's a more hygenic way to get the God Of Thunder's attention: write 200 words about whether or not you like prostitution! In order to promote his upcoming book on the subject Ladies Of The Night, Gene is asking for his more literate fans to provide him with a 200-word "essay" offering their own take (my advice to would-be winners? I'd go with "pro"). The finest blurb will win its writer various Gene Simmons products and a "personalized digital voicemail recording." "IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS!" says Phoenix Books. Better than an STD, I guess. More »

listen carefully, you can hear his career sliding away

Peter Criss, Circa 1981: Full Of Misguided Hope

This has to be one of the most depressing YouTube videos in my admittedly limited memory: Peter Criss, a year removed from KISS stardom, discusses his solo career, bringing popcorn to childbirth classes, and the days when people wanted his autograph. The always tasteful Sue Simmons drops the classic interview question "Is your dad still alive?" midway through, after which Eric Singer replaces Criss for the remainder of the program. [YouTube]

reissue repackage

Awwwright! Kiss Slaps Three Budget Comps Together And Calls It A New Box Set

You wanted the expensive repackaging, you got the expensive repackaging! Kiss will release a new three-CD box set, Playlist Plus, on April 29. The tracklisting to said box just happens to feature the exact same songs that appeared on the three volumes of that discount staple 20th Century Masters: The Millenium that they put out in '03, '04 and '06 respectively. Why? Cuz you people deserve to give yourself a round of applause! Would you like to know just how many times these songs have been featured on albums and compilations? For reasons I can't quite explain, I bothered to figured it out. More »

damage control?

Gene Simmons Now Claiming He's Been Having Passionless, Unnerving Sex For Decades

Sex tape terrorist Gene Simmons is attempting to explain away the lovemaking session that scarred us forever (link, as always, most assuredly NSFW) when it leaked to a wholly unprepared Internet last week by claiming that the VHS abomination is "decades old" and has long been in the clutches of an "entity" who has tried to "blackmail and extort" Simmons in the past with the threat of revealing to the world the guy enjoys artificially enhanced blondes, the missionary position, and leaving his shirt on during coitus. More »

(hopefully not) baby makin' music

Gene Simmons' Sex Playlist: What's His Butt-Rock Backup Tune When It's Time To Get His Tongue Waggling?

jess@idolator: Nothing going on this morning, eh?
maura@idolator: Ugh. Just the [alleged] Gene Simmons sex tape. [Ed. Note: Link not safe for ANYTHING, let alone work.]
maura@idolator: Did you hear what song was playing in the background?
maura@idolator: (I didn't watch; I just read about it.) [Ed. Note: Riiiiiiight.]
jess@idolator: I did not, no.
maura@idolator: "I Want To Know What Love Is"
jess@idolator: Well I mean who hasn't "made love" to that?
maura@idolator: I wonder what else gets Gene in the mood?

Good question, Maura! (Even if normal folks would rather imagine the family members of their choice getting it on atop a pile of newly dead bodies than think of Gene Simmons in (makeup-free) flagrante.) Since "I Want To Know What Love Is" clocks in at around 5:00 and the tape lasts a respectable (if not Sting-level) 10:00, one must assume that Gene had a second song picked to round out his 1/6th of an hour spent in the act of physical love with his Australian energy drink spokeslady. But what was it?

More »

dental hygiene

Musical Toothbrush Changing The Way Children Experience Hannah Montana, Having Songs Beamed Into Their Brains

Now that purchasing music directly is out of style, how will the next generation consume their favorite Top 40 hits? And will they be able to do so while maintaining their daily personal hygiene routine? Hasbro's Tooth Tunes Musical Toothbrush is the only brush that sends music through your teeth...and into your head! Which two-minute song clip would you choose to be sent "through your jawbone to your inner ear? More »

freckled criminals and gold prices

Gene Simmons Gives The People A Lesson In Economics

Gene Simmons' areas of expertise don't just extend to ladies of the night and plastic surgery; he's also well-versed in the value of a dollar, as evidenced by his willingness to license the KISS brand to anything and everything that it can be slapped on. So naturally, he has some thoughts about the current "recorded music should be free" rhetoric that's sweeping the bandwidth-blessed nooks of the world, and guess what? Where some techno-utopianists see a beautiful world of free songs for all, he sees nothing but a bunch of flawed business models and freckled crooks. More »

Kiss' Gene Simmons is "up to [his] neck writing [his] next book: 'Ladies Of The Night—A Historical And Personal Overview Of The Oldest Profession' on our Simmons Books/Phoenix Books imprint. It should be finished by spring." Finally, the impetus to restart the long-stalled Idolator Book Club! Who's with us? [Blabbermouth]

In honor of Gene Simmons' birthday, a minor-league baseball team will wear "KISS-inspired jerseys" on Aug. 25. Fans are encouraged to get their faces painted like KISS members, although for the sake of not scaring kids, anyone who wears makeup inspired by Gene's recent plastic surgery should be denied admission to the park. [Brockton Rox, via Can't Stop The Bleeding]