Posts Tagged “KiSS”
Possibly Touring: Bands You Might Like
In one of the stranger promotional teasers in recent memory, CAA managing partner Rob Light disclosed a list of acts that should be touring the States next year to HITS. Among them: Wal-Mart favs AC/DC, who haven't toured since 2003, and KISS, who might creak around arenas once again. Other acts mentioned by Light include Usher, Miley Cyrus, Mariah Carey, Eric Clapton, Stevie Wonder, Christina Aguilera, Depeche Mode, Green Day, Kid Rock, Slipknot, and, in an announcement that's sure to please all those bloggers with cameraphones, Daft Punk. Pretty sure someone is preparing a fake Coachella lineup poster listing all of these acts as we speak. [HITS Daily Double]
Five Kiss Songs That Could Easily Be Turned Into Jingles
The "writing ad-ready songs for the enjoyment of viewers at home and the delight of network accounting departments" reality show Jingles has had its debut, which was scheduled for later this month, pushed back by CBS, but that isn't stopping the network from letting the world know that Kiss bassist and entrepreneur Gene Simmons is going to be one of the show's judges. (I'm guessing he's going to take the acid-tongued "Simon" spot on the panel.) This caused me to think about how Simmons' body of work could itself be employed for the purposes of selling crap that people don't really don't need, via the time-tested "out of context lyric used to shill for a slightly incongruous product" method that so many ads employ these days. Five possible examples of how you could hear Kiss songs during breaks in Law & Order reruns after the jump.
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Is Gene Simmons Really Pissed Off At Radiohead?
Desmond Child: A Loving Tribute
Kiss Plans Reality Show To Find Replacements For The Whole Band
Gene Simmons: Lover, Fighter, Condoleeza Rice Fan
"U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may have attended just four rock concerts in her life, but the rock band Kiss apparently thinks she is pretty cool. After a day-long international conference on Iraq, Rice was dining Thursday evening with Swedish Foreign Minister Carl Bildt at a 19th-century villa when a call came in that Kiss was in the Nordic capital on a tour and wanted to see her, aides said. ... Rice and her entourage returned to their hotel and gathered with the rock stars in a conference room where photos were taken of the occasion — without the band members wearing their trademark black-and-white facial make-up." Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Gene asked Condi how she would have replied to his "how do you feel about whores?" essay contest. [Reuters]
Ace Frehley Plans "Spectacular" Post-Show Meet And Greets
Early this morning, I thought that posting about this would be indicative of a very slow news day. And while it is, I've realized just how unbelievably awesome it is that Ace Frehley has canceled planned meet-and-greets following shows on his European tour because he has "ideas which would make such meetings spectacular," and they need time to blossom. What popped in his head? "It's just not right to do this without my Kiss outfit on?" "If I can't meet and greet with lasers coming out of my hands while strapped to a harness, there's no point to this at all?" Did he hear how many people turned up in Helsinki to see the guy who wears his make up now and get jealous? What exactly does he have to do to "perfect these meet-and-greets?" The mind boggles!
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Former Schoolteacher Gene Simmons Assigns 200-Word Essay On Whores
Usually, if you wanted Gene Simmons on your voicemail, all you had to do is tell one of his security people that you'd like to blow him. Now there's a more hygenic way to get the God Of Thunder's attention: write 200 words about whether or not you like prostitution! In order to promote his upcoming book on the subject Ladies Of The Night, Gene is asking for his more literate fans to provide him with a 200-word "essay" offering their own take (my advice to would-be winners? I'd go with "pro"). The finest blurb will win its writer various Gene Simmons products and a "personalized digital voicemail recording." "IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS!" says Phoenix Books. Better than an STD, I guess.
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Peter Criss, Circa 1981: Full Of Misguided Hope
Awwwright! Kiss Slaps Three Budget Comps Together And Calls It A New Box Set
Gene Simmons Now Claiming He's Been Having Passionless, Unnerving Sex For Decades
Sex tape terrorist Gene Simmons is attempting to explain away the lovemaking session that scarred us forever (link, as always, most assuredly NSFW) when it leaked to a wholly unprepared Internet last week by claiming that the VHS abomination is "decades old" and has long been in the clutches of an "entity" who has tried to "blackmail and extort" Simmons in the past with the threat of revealing to the world the guy enjoys artificially enhanced blondes, the missionary position, and leaving his shirt on during coitus.
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Gene Simmons' Sex Playlist: What's His Butt-Rock Backup Tune When It's Time To Get His Tongue Waggling?
jess@idolator: Nothing going on this morning, eh?
maura@idolator: Ugh. Just the [alleged] Gene Simmons sex tape. [Ed. Note: Link not safe for ANYTHING, let alone work.]
maura@idolator: Did you hear what song was playing in the background?
maura@idolator: (I didn't watch; I just read about it.) [Ed. Note: Riiiiiiight.]
jess@idolator: I did not, no.
maura@idolator: "I Want To Know What Love Is"
jess@idolator: Well I mean who hasn't "made love" to that?
maura@idolator: I wonder what else gets Gene in the mood?
Good question, Maura! (Even if normal folks would rather imagine the family members of their choice getting it on atop a pile of newly dead bodies than think of Gene Simmons in (makeup-free) flagrante.) Since "I Want To Know What Love Is" clocks in at around 5:00 and the tape lasts a respectable (if not Sting-level) 10:00, one must assume that Gene had a second song picked to round out his 1/6th of an hour spent in the act of physical love with his Australian energy drink spokeslady. But what was it?
More »Musical Toothbrush Changing The Way Children Experience Hannah Montana, Having Songs Beamed Into Their Brains
Now that purchasing music directly is out of style, how will the next generation consume their favorite Top 40 hits? And will they be able to do so while maintaining their daily personal hygiene routine? Hasbro's Tooth Tunes Musical Toothbrush is the only brush that sends music through your teeth...and into your head! Which two-minute song clip would you choose to be sent "through your jawbone to your inner ear?
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Gene Simmons Gives The People A Lesson In Economics
Gene Simmons' areas of expertise don't just extend to ladies of the night and plastic surgery; he's also well-versed in the value of a dollar, as evidenced by his willingness to license the KISS brand to anything and everything that it can be slapped on. So naturally, he has some thoughts about the current "recorded music should be free" rhetoric that's sweeping the bandwidth-blessed nooks of the world, and guess what? Where some techno-utopianists see a beautiful world of free songs for all, he sees nothing but a bunch of flawed business models and freckled crooks.
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