Read this description and try not to gag:

Natascha Stellmach's Set Me Free is a "death cycle" in five parts, examining themes of suicide and desecration. The first part is a sound piece called Black in Here, pressed on a custom record and played on vintage equipment. Next is a "text-based work", presumably art-speak for "short story", with Cobain, Adolf Hitler, Diane Arbus and the Brothers Grimm meeting in a "hallucinogenic twilight zone", according to the gallery statement. Later there's photography – including a shot of the words "Set Me Free" written out in ash - and finally the pièce de resistance: an antique cigarette case holding a joint made up of hash and the remains of the former Nirvana lead singer.

A "hallucinogenic twilight zone" of Cobain, Hitler, Arbus, and the Brothers Grimm? Sounds about as fun as having my lungs jump out of my eyeballs!

And, of course, it's all horse manure. Cobain's ashes never went missing in the first place, says Courtnie Love's publicist. That publicist gets to say all sorts of crazy things.

So, uh, is Stellmach lying or did she get bilked? I really hope it's the latter.

Kurt Cobain's stolen ashes to be smoked in a spliff? [Guardian]
Cobain's Ashes 'Never Taken' [Yahoo! UK]

Love believes a former friend is responsible for swiping Kurt's remains, which were stored in a pink bear-shaped handbag and hidden in a wardrobe at her Hollywood home.



She now claims to be suicidal as a result of the theft: "I can't believe anyone would take Kurt's ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I'm suicidal. If I don't get them back I don't know what I'll do."



Most of Cobain's ashes were originally scattered at a New York Buddhist temple and in the Wishkah river in Washington state. However, Love says she kept some for herself, hidden away in a location that was a closely guarded secret until now.



"They were all I had left of him," Love said to the News of the World. "Who has their husband's ashes stolen?"

They wanted to be at a Buddhist temple, Courtney! Not sitting around in a teddy bear in your wardrobe, listening to you scream at people for almost fifteen years. Maybe they got up and left.

Kurt Cobain's ashes stolen [Guardian]

1. '80s bar rock. Don't mistake this for what ACTUALLY plays in bars these days, i.e. beer-bellied David Cooks wishing someday they could make it big like Default did. I mean that bastard child of blue-eyed soul that comes alive whenever Huey Lewis plays a corporate gig. The genre that inspired '70s blowhards like Stevie Winwood to roll with it. Is Adam Levine the last rocker on earth who wants to make women (not teens, women) dance before he nails them backstage? Did Lenny Kravitz scare everyone out of the room? I've never willingly heard a song by Taylor Hicks, but I get the feeling he could be the 21st-century Robert Palmer if he'd just put this type of music in his system.

Turn the amp up to eleven, and the genre becomes 1a. Feel-good arena rock, which is also sorely lacking. There are so many bands trying to write "Dreams," but no one is bothering to write "Panama." This is why I sometimes think Kurt Cobain was the worst thing to happen to rock, as his PC "hey, check out the Vaselines" attitude came and went, leaving hard rockers only with the wisdom that there's no need to sound like you're having any fun at all.

2. Hip-hop based on funk drum loops. I know snap is cheaper. I know it's all been used before, that you'd be referencing earlier rap hits rather than actual funky drummers. But have you thrown on a Digital Underground record lately? I miss the good foot. Plus, it would force guys like Rick Ross to wake up or get out of the way.

3. Songs that reference the movie they soundtrack. As videos go the way of the dinosaur, if music is going to successfully cross-promote itself with a more popular form of media, it's going to have to do it lyrically. Few remember Rick Moranis smiling at Bobby Brown's dancing ass in the "On Our Own" video, but everybody knows that if Vigo, the master of Evil, tries to battle his boys... that's not legal! Side note: Seth Rogen's getting Huey Lewis to tackle this and genre No. 1 for Pineapple Express, because Seth Rogen knows what time it is.

4. Unkempt riffy indie-rock. Even more than the sound of "Slack Motherfucker," I miss how everybody used to dress down. I'm tired of looking my best at night. I want to leave my button-down plaid shirt open again, so you can see the charming t-shirt underneath. I'm tired of either/or! I don't want you to see my belt! I was happy dressing baggy! Waahh!

5. Cornershop. Even in the pop-rock-soul casserole of the '90s, this band was a genre of its own—who even made some bar-rock! You could argue that plenty of Pitchfork-popular psych-folk mixes beats, drones and grooves, but if Panda Bear has anything resembling "Brimful Of Asha," I haven't heard it. More people need to imitate Tjinder Singh's detached, droll vocal style. Hell, Tjinder Singh should do it more often.

What forgotten genres do think have some untapped juice? Emo-free pop-punk? Trumpet-led instrumentals? Whatever the Spin Doctors were doing? Make your voices heard, and maybe Taylor Hicks will hear you.

Rummaging in the Musical Dustbin [The Guardian]

Three things I enjoy: adorable bears, Kurt Cobain lookin' constipated/anguished on MTV's Unplugged, and dirty words. This is probably like 900 years old in dumb meme time, and I have no idea who originally made it. But there is nothing going on today. And it made me laugh. Enjoy!

Kurt Cobain [Splatterblog; HT: Lance Lockarm]

Meet James McAvoy, the 28-year-old Scottish actor (he's the lead in the film adaptation of Atonement) who, according to reports, has been tipped to play Kurt Cobain in the Courtney Love-sanctioned biopic of the iconic singer. I'm waiting for some sort of typo-ridden explanation/denial of this report will show up on Court's blog within the next few hours or so, although I will say one thing: He's definitely got the eyes for the part.

Cobain actor revealed? [Yahoo! Music]
[Photo: Getty]

1. Syd Barrett's Christmas tree. The plastic decoration was sold for £800 after the Pink Floyd man's death last year. The tinsel was thrown in for free.

2. A coat hanger that belonged to Elvis Presley. But this is not just any coat hanger, this is the ghoulish one used to hang up the suit The King was buried in. Sold for £7500, but like in most cheap sci-fi series anything touched by death means it's probably an evil coat hanger now.

3. A chair Kurt Cobain sat in. Once owned by Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic, it's suggested his singer may have once sat down in this very chair - does that make it worth £7000 of anyone's money though?

I might be willing to pay a fair bit if the impression of Cobain's hinder was still in the chair cushion, in a "Virgin of Guadalupe in a tortilla" stylee.

Syd Barrett's Christmas tree, yours for £800[NME]

Full release after the jump.

NEWS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION

DR. MARTENS REGRETS THE USE OF UNAUTHORISED IMAGES

Dr Martens is very sorry for any offense that has been caused by the publication of images showing dead rock icons wearing Dr Martens boots.

Dr Martens did not commission the work as it runs counter to our current marketing activities based on FREEDM, which is dedicated to nurturing grass roots creativity and supporting emerging talent.

As a consequence, Dr Martens has terminated its relationship with the responsible agency.

David Suddens
Chief Executive

Exclusive: Dr. Martens to Saatchi: You're Fired! [The Daily Swarm]

"Courtney had no idea this was taking place and would never have approved such a use," her rep tells PEOPLE. "She thinks it's outrageous that a company is allowed to commercially gain from such a despicable use of her husband's picture."

Especially since—according to British copyright law—she's not entitled to any money from the picture! Clearly, the only way to rectify this is to sell another track to another video game.

Courtney Love Says Shoe Ads With Kurt Are 'Outrageous' [People]
Earlier: Today In Repurposed Images Of Dead Celebrities: Kurt Cobain, Doc Marten-Wearing Angel

Saatchi & Saatchi/London has a new print/poster campaign in the U.K. that cleverly employs four dead rock stars - Kurt Cobain, Sid Vicious, Joey Ramone and Joe Strummer - as Doc Martens endorsers. "We wanted to communicate that Dr. Martens boots are 'made to last,' " explains writer Andrew Petch, "and we discovered that these idolized musicians wore them. Showing them still wearing their Docs in heaven dramatized the boots' durability perfectly. And, as images, they feel very iconic."

"Made to last"? But all those stars are...oh, forget it. An ad campaign that implies that heaven would let in steel-toed shoes is probably not supposed to make sense, anyway.

Tasteless [The Daily Swarm]

Stars Killed By Gunfire [wcbstv.com, via Defamer]

Now that Kurt Cobain is the highest-grossing dead celebrity, what's his band's music going to do? Why, commercials, of course. But don't worry, Generation Xers—Peter Mestel of licensing company Private Wave says that any ad tie-ins are going to keep it real:

"You will never see Kurt Cobain's music in a fast-food hamburger advertisement - that won't ever happen,'' Mestel says. "We're looking at things that relate to cutting-edge technologies, products that are green and eco-friendly, products that Kurt would have liked to have his music represented by.''

We're trying to think of what, exactly, this mythical product might be—and we're stumped. But we're sure of one thing: at least Mestel said "green," and not brown.

Smells Like New Revenue [Forbes]
Previously: Teenage Angst Has Paid Off Well ... Seriously, Check Out The Awesome Ringtone I Just Won

Here's a clip from Kurt Cobain: About A Son, which draws from audiotapes collected by writer Michael Azerrad and is scored by Steve Fisk and Death Cab For Cutie's Ben Gibbard. We've listened to Cobain's description of his—and his peers'—vacillation between nihilism and sincerity five or six times now, and every time we replay it, we're that much closer to flipping off this godforsaken decade, for real.

Kurt Cobain: About A Son (Excerpt) [YouTube]
Kurt Cobain: About A Son [Sidetrack Films]
Previously: Looking Back On The Grunge Era Leads Us Into A Harsh Realm

Wondering what jacket Kurt Cobain was wearing when he killed himself? Courtney Love is here to help you. And to show you these totally cute limited-edition shoes that she owns.

2nd clip of Courtney Love's documentary [YouTube]
More4 - Documentaries - The Return of Courtney Love [channel4.com]