Though our specialty is reviewing music, we’re often distracted from an artist’s tunes by their amazingly awful album cover. In 2011, there were 10 (mostly) high-profile releases with cover art so ridiculous, so badly designed, and just so straight-up weird that we had to share them with all of you. Last year, MGMT nabbed the highest honor here for their hallucinatory surf’s-up-kitty album cover art for Congratulations — but even that hot mess looked like it should be hanging in a museum compared to this year’s entries. Check out our 10 picks for worst cover art for albums and mixtapes released in 2011 (with one exception), and check back tomorrow for a palate cleanser of the year’s 10 best.

The Limp Bizkit frontman / budding film director / Twitterholic turns 39 today. Yes, that’s right—only one more year until the poster child for late-20th-century rage hits the big four-oh! Watch as much of this (slightly NSFW) clip of Limp Bizkit’s Woodstock 1999 performance of “Break Stuff” as you can, and take a moment to reflect on how far Fred, me, you, and everyone have come over the past 10 years. I mean, at least the vague sense of embarrassment that the lyric “it’s all about the he said she said bullshit” inspires is felt by more people now than it was then, right? [YouTube / MTV Newsroom]

Last week, a jury ordered Boston University physics student Joel Tenenbaum to pay the Recording Industry Association of America $675,000 for sharing 30 songs via KaZaA. That’s $22,500 a song, a figure that the jury decided on because they deduced that Tenenbaum’s copyright infringement had been willful—a finding that they came to in part because Tenenbaum adopted a “fair use” defense for his actions, saying in a FAQ that he thinks “Art is meant to be shared.” Tenenbaum and his legal team are preparing to appeal to the trial judge for a lower settlement—and if it’s not reached, he’ll head over to the courtroom where bankruptcy cases are settled—but for now, let’s all see what 30 songs Tenenbaum figured were OK for sharing with the old-cruddy-software-using masses.


Aerosmith, “Pink”
Aerosmith, “Water Song/Janie’s Got A Gun”
Beastie Boys, “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party)”
Beck, “Loser”
blink-182, “Adam’s Song”
Deftones, “Be Quiet And Drive”
Eminem, “Cleaning Out My Closet”
Eminem, “Drug Ballad”
Eminem, “My Name Is”
Fugees, “Killing Me Softly”
Goo Goo Dolls, “Iris”
Green Day, “Minority”
Green Day, “Nice Guys Finish Last”
Green Day, “When I Come Around”
Incubus, ”New Skin”
Incubus, “Pardon Me”
Limp Bizkit, “Leech”
Limp Bizkit, “Rearranged”
Linkin Park, “Crawling”
Monster Magnet, “Look To Your Orb For The Warning”
Nine Inch Nails, “The Perfect Drug”
Nirvana, “Come As You Are”
Nirvana, “Heart-Shaped Box”
OutKast, “Rosa Parks”
OutKast, “Wheelz Of Steel”
Rage Against The Machine, “Guerrilla Radio”
Ramones, “The KKK Took My Baby Away”
Red Hot Chili Peppers, “By The Way”
Red Hot Chili Peppers, “Californication”
Red Hot Chili Peppers, “My Friends”


It’s worth noting that this infringement took place in 2003, and according to Tenenbaum’s side of the story he was asked to settle for $3,500 back then; only when the case started getting to court did the settlement amount snowball. I honestly don’t know what to think about his whole “David fighting the corporate Goliath” argument because I believe that artists should be paid, yet I know that the ways of the major-label system make that ideal a hell of a lot more difficult than it really should be. (And I think his “fair use” argument is a bunch of BS that was probably the result of reading some John Perry Barlow screed while up late worrying about the ramifications of his case.) This is the sort of ethical entanglement that makes people enter lives of crime because “whatever, it’s all corrupt anyway,” isn’t it?


Joel Fights Back [Official site]
[Playlist via Scribd; Scribd]

Are you feeling sad that there won’t be a Woodstock ’99 tribute concert? Well, have no fear: Limp Bizkit is heading back in the studio in the next few weeks! I guess the country’s mood got just angry enough for the Red Baseball Cap Of Disadvantaged White Male Rage to be brandished again—and now there are even strange dinosaur-related metaphors involved!

“It [the songwriting process] takes all shapes and all forms. We’ve written songs during shows in the last tour. Sometimes it’s spontaneous, sometimes it’s like trying to take down a Tyrannosaurus Rex.


“It’s like a pool of ideas. It’s like a bunch of finished songs that everyone’s done on their home studio set-ups. Most of the meat of the record will probably be written when we’re in a room together.”

Tyrannosaurus Rexes? Meat? Pools? Why am I getting a very serious Flintstones vibe here?


Limp Bizkit to start recording new album ‘in a couple of weeks’ [NME]

Chinese President Hu Jintao thought he was going to Zagreb for a little bit of back-slapping action with his buddies who rule Croatia. Little did he know that thanks to his travel planners picking the hotel that they did, he might have to interrupt his diplomatic plans for some serious (and possibly drunken) Gears Of War 2… or at least a little “Nookie.” [China View / Twitter]

The other momentous pop occasion yesterday? Limp Bizkit’s first show in eight years, which the band played in Latvia. This dude apparently spent the whole show with his camera in front of his face, as he has what look to be clips of all 18 songs performed at the tour opener available for streaming via his YouTube account. (Former Idolator contributor / eternal Limp Bizkit expert Anthony Miccio, upon seeing the clips: “Wow, apparently they’re doing songs from Results May Vary. Wes Borland, eatin’ humble pie.”) Above, their reappropriation of George Michael’s Faith, which–along with some major-label dollars–helped push them to national prominence back in the day. Ah, to be reminded of those parts of the ’90s that no one really talks about. [YouTube]

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the narrative surrounding the ‘90s alternative rock boom, and how oversimplified it’s become over the years. Too often, we get a simple line like “Nirvana changed everything,” and if we’re lucky, a little follow-up along the lines of “Limp Bizkit ruined everything.” So I decided to identify the scenes, subgenres, and trends that most influenced the Modern Rock charts over the past two decades; I figured I’d come up with a dozen or so. Instead, I ended up with almost 30, which I’ve broken down below. (I’m sure in the comments we can argue about which ones I left out, or which bands shouldn’t have been lumped together.)


College Rock (U.S. Division)
Key bands: R.E.M., The Replacements, XTC, The Pixies
Era of dominance: 1988-1992
Defining hit: The Pixies, “Here Comes Your Man”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: R.E.M., “Supernatural Superserious”
By the time Billboard began publishing a Modern Rock singles chart in 1988, there was already a clutch of American bands getting consistent radio play. And for the first few years of the chart, jangle ruled the roost.


College Rock (U.K. Division)
Key bands: U2, Depeche Mode, The Cure, Love And Rockets, New Order
Era of dominance: 1988-1993
Defining hit: The Cure, “Wish”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Depeche Mode, “Wrong”
The divergent paths of U2 and R.E.M. since the early ‘90s kind of tell the story of how American college rock’s Brit equivalent was always better suited for stadiums and/or enduring cults.


The Last Gasp Of The Old Guard
Key bands: Lou Reed, Peter Gabriel, Elvis Costello, Robyn Hitchcock
Era of dominance: 1988-1992
Defining hit: Lou Reed, “Dirty Blvd.”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Elvis Costello, “Complicated Shadows”
Yeah, there was a full year or two after “Smells Like Teen Spirit” when these guys were still charting consistently, but ultimately Nirvana’s ascent killed off more than just hair metal.


The Pre-Lillith Fair Chick Singer Boom
Key bands: Tori Amos, Suzanne Vega, Sinead O’Connor, Kate Bush
Era of dominance: 1988-1994
Defining hit: Tori Amos, “Cornflake Girl”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Paramore, “Decode”
Now, the only female singer-songwriters that can get Modern Rock airplay are M.I.A. and Katy friggin’ Perry, and all the girls with guitars and pianos and mainstream aspirations have fled to VH1.


Pre-Grunge Heavy Alt-Rock
Key bands: Jane’s Addiction, Social Distortion, Living Colour, Faith No More
Era of dominance: 1988-1992
Defining hit: Jane’s Addiction, “Stop”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Avenged Sevenfold, “Scream”
I’m glad that these bands all at least have one signature hit I hear on the radio every week, because it’s nice to be reminded that there wasn’t some kind of vast unfilled niche between R.E.M. and Poison before Nirvana showed up.


Seattle Grunge
Key bands: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains
Era of dominance: 1991-1995
Defining hit: Nirvana, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Pearl Jam, “Brother”
After the last round of tracks from Vitalogy and Unplugged In New York ran their course, the hits kinda dried up, but those four years produced the biggest chunk of recurrent radio staples of any of these scenes. And Nirvana changed everything, y’know.


The Earnest Funkateers
Key bands: Red Hot Chilli Peppers, 311, Sublime, Incubus
Era of dominance: 1991-present
Defining hit: Red Hot Chilli Peppers, “Give It Away”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: 311, “Hey You”
Guitar bands that throw some combination of rapping, DJing, slap bass, and groovy good-vibes balladry into their sound may be the surest thing the Modern Rock format has ever known. The demand may fluctuate, but overall these kinda guys will never go out of style.


West Coast Punk-Pop
Key bands: Green Day, Offspring, Rancid, NOFX
Era of dominance: 1993-1995
Defining hit: Green Day, “Basket Case”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Rancid, “Last One To Die”
As a dedicated grunge kid, this stuff really got on my nerves at the time, but now I can admit Dookie was a pretty great record.


The Industrial-Rock Crossover
Key bands: Nine Inch Nails, Filter, Stabbing Westward, Gravity Kills
Era of dominance: 1994-1997
Defining hit: Nine Inch Nails, “Closer”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Hollywood Undead, “Undead”
Après Reznor, le deluge, but most of them sucked and didn’t stick around for very long, so good riddance.


The Post-Grunge A-List
Key bands: Smashing Pumpkins, Stone Temple Pilots, Weezer, Foo Fighters, Radiohead
Era of dominance: 1993-present
Defining hit: Smashing Pumpkins, “Today”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Weezer, “Troublemaker”
Once Cobain checked out and Pearl Jam set about becoming the world’s biggest cult band, there were a lot of guitar bands of widely divergent sounds and origins angling to fill the void, intentionally or unintentionally. But only a handful ended up with a sustained, successful run, and a large permanent fanbase, if not a Nirvana-sized legacy. Some of these bands are still chugging along like efficient hit factories; some of them could probably easily make hits again whenever they get their shit together to do so.


One-Album Wonders
Key bands: Bush, Live, Third Eye Blind, Candlebox, Soul Asylum
Era of dominance: 1994-1996
Defining hit: Live, “Lightning Crashes”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Gavin Rossdale, “Love Remains The Same”
These are the bands that briefly joined the above described A-list, landing four or five huge hits off of one album (usually but not always their debut), but proving unable to hack it in the long run. They’re the ones with ‘greatest hits’ albums that are 60% comprised of songs from the same album.


Rappin’ Whitey
Key bands: The Beastie Boys, Beck, Everlast, Eminem
Era of dominance: 1988-present
Defining hit: Crazytown, “Butterfly”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Asher Roth, “I Love College”
One of the sturdiest constants in the history of Modern Rock radio: If a white guy decides to rhyme over guitars, one drop of airplay guarantees years of request line calls, whether it’s the Flobots or Dynamite Hack’s version of “Boyz In The Hood.”


The Indie Rock Bubble
Key bands: Sonic Youth, Pavement, Dinosaur Jr., Meat Puppets
Era of dominance: 1990-1994
Defining hit: Pavement, “Cut Yr Hair”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Silversun Pickups, “Panic Switch”
I can remember very clearly in the summer of 1994 being inundated with Green Day and Offspring, and finding solace in the occasional spins of “Bull In The Heather,” “Feel The Pain,” “Backwater,” and Frank Black’s “Headache” that kind of pointed the way towards what I’d spend a lot of the next few years listening to.


The Birth Of Adult Contemporary Alternative
Key bands: Counting Crows, Collective Soul, Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox 20
Era of dominance: 1993-1996
Defining hit: Verve Pipe, “The Freshmen”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Counting Crows, “When I Dream Of Michaelangelo”
Like the female singer-songwriters that preceded them, these candy-asses ruled alt-rock airwaves for a few years; when got a little too schmaltzy, Hot AC was waiting for them with open arms.


Stealth Hippies
Key bands: Dave Matthews Band, Blues Traveler, Spin Doctors, Phish
Era of dominance: 1991-1996
Defining hit: Blues Traveler, “Runaround”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Dave Matthews Band, “Funny The Way It Is”
For a while they blended in with the alt-AC crowd, but eventually we heard the noodling and smelled the patchouli, and made them get their own Lollapalooza.


Britpop’s Failed Invasion
Key bands: Oasis, Blur, Elastica
Era of dominance: 1995-1997
Defining hit: Oasis, “Wonderwall”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Snow Patrol, “Take Back The City”
Cool Britannia came over here with a full head of steam, but other than a couple of ballads by the monobrowed Gallagher mooks, it never really translated to stateside success. Meanwhile, Damon Albarn’s shots at American radio recurrent immortality were a 2-minute blast of Big Muff riffage and some hooks he sung while dressed up as a cartoon monkey.


Alternapop
Key bands: Sugar Ray, Smashmouth, Fastball, Semisonic, Everclear
Era of dominance: 1996-1999
Defining hit: Smashmouth, “Walking On The Sun”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: The All-American Rejects, “Gives You Hell”
Former Idolator regular Anthony Miccio likes to throw around this term a lot, and it’s effective enough that I’m going to go ahead and nick it from him here. In the aftermath of arty collage-types like Beck and the Beastie Boys, we suddenly got a lot of goofballs in shades making shiny videos directed by McG, with clunky hip hop-inspired beats and laid back riffs. The summer of ’97 was pretty horrific if you ask me, but a few of these songs have aged well.


Third Wave Ska
Key bands: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, No Doubt, Reel Big Fish, Save Ferris
Era of dominance: 1995-1997
Defining hit: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, “The Impression That I Get”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Uh…. none.
No Doubt only had one foot on board to begin with, so it was easy for them to jump ship to superstardom while everyone else more committed to skankin’ went down with the boat.


The Godforsaken Swing Revival
Key bands: The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, The
Squirrel Nut Zippers, The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Era of dominance: 1997-1998
Defining hit: The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, “Zoot Suit Riot”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: …
Thing is, the ska bands didn’t seem that bad once these guys came along.


The “Electronica” Revolution
Key bands: Prodigy, The Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim
Era of dominance: 1997-1999
Defining hit: The Prodigy, “Firestarter”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: another dead end here
Obviously, the last decade of car-commercial beats and critical love for minimal techno confirms that Americans weren’t actually afraid of this stuff–but the attempt to retrofit it for stadium rock that was a bit wrongheaded.


The Punk-Pop Resurgence
Key bands: Blink 182, Sum 41, New Found Glory, Yellowcard
Era of dominance: 1997-2004
Defining hit: Blink 182, “Dammit”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: All Time Low, “Dear Maria, Count Me In”
During the years when Green Day’s popularity waned and The Offspring briefly became a weird Alternapop novelty band, a new breed of slightly more goofball pop-punk took over, with increasingly nasal vocals that set the stage for emo’s bid for the mainstream.


Rap Metal
Key bands: Rage Against The Machine, KoRn, Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, Linkin Park
Era of dominance: 1996-2002
Defining hit: Rage Against The Machine, “Killing In The Name Of”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Linkin Park, “Bleed It Out”
The earnest white rappers and alt-funk bands are still going strong, but I think this scene can be safely called over. Rage reunited, but just to play shows; KoRn and the Bizkit are irrelevant; and Linkin Park and Kid Rock are still making hits, but with as little rapping (or metal) as possible.


Grunge, the Second Coming
Key bands: Creed, Nickelback, Puddle Of Mudd, Seether, Staind, Godsmack
Era of dominance: 1998-present
Defining hit: Creed, “Higher”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Shinedown, “Second Chance”
This lot has a cockroach-like resilience that their Seattle forebears never had, which is a shame for the rest of us.


The Return Of Sunset Strip Decadence
Key bands: Hinder, Buckcherry, Saving Abel, Theory Of A Deadman
Era of dominance: 2005-present
Defining hit: Hinder, “Get Stoned”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Theory Of A Deadman, “Bad Girlfriend”
Motley Crue hasn’t quite reached the Modern Rock chart yet, but it’s filled with bands who tour with them and who, for all intents and purposes, have just updated their whole style for the wallet chain era.


”The” Bands
Key bands: The Strokes, The White Stripes, The Hives, The Vines
Era of dominance: 2001-2002
Defining hit: The Strokes, “Last Nite”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Kings Of Leon, “Sex On Fire”
Rock came back! And then it went away again, except for the White Stripes.


Crossover Emo
Key bands: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Dashboard Confessional, The Used, Jimmy Eat World
Era of dominance: 2002-2007
Defining hit: Fall Out Boy, “Sugar, We’re Going Down”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: My Chemical Romance, “Desolation Row”
At one point, it seemed like emo–or at least a bunch of bands who get called emo but inevitably deny the charge–would take over. But Fall Out Boy went pop, MCR went classic rock, and most of the other bands that landed a few hits are ice cold now.


The 21st-Century Indie Bubble
Key bands: Modest Mouse, Death Cab For Cutie, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Arcade Fire, Interpol
Era of dominance: 2004-present
Defining hit: Modest Mouse, “Float On”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: The Airborne Toxic Event, “Sometime Around Midnight”
It’s hard to tell whether this bubble will last longer than the one that Dinosaur Jr. and Pavement benefited from a decade earlier, but the Pitchfork-to-KROQ farm team system seems to be getting only stronger over time.


The New VH1 Wuss-Rock Vanguard
Key bands: Coldplay, The Fray, The Killers, Maroon 5
Era of dominance: 2002-present
Defining hit: Coldplay, “Clocks”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: The Killers, “Spaceman”
Unlike Oasis and the Goo Goo Dolls, Coldplay and the Killers have found the trick to Modern Rock longevity: A palatable amount of U2-style artiness.


Hard Rock Dinosaurs Sneaking In The Back Door
Key bands: Metallica, AC/DC, Guns N Roses
Era of dominance: 2008-present
Defining hit: AC/DC, “Rock’n’Roll Train”
Vestigial reminder in a recent hit: Metallica, “Cyanide”
The once-thick line that divided alternative stations from “active rock” stations officially went from blurry to nonexistent last year, when these bands all showed up on the Modern Rock chart, most of them for the first time. If the chart doesn’t exist a few years from now, this will be why.

Fred Durst will wear his red cap on the Limp Bizkit reunion tour. Someone get Buddyhead on the case! [Twitter]

Aside from holidays where major news events happen, thus disrupting one’s chance to actually get away from her laptop and have a life, April Fool’s Day is probably the most annoying 24-hour stretch on the professional blogger’s calendar, thanks to everyone on the Internet thinking they’re funny. Despite that not really being true! After the jump, a running tally of pranks from various music-related entities; it’ll be updated throughout the day, because Lord knows I need to do something with all the “comedy” clogging up my RSS reader right now.

Bjork joins Led Zeppelin. Points for the sorta-convincing Photoshop of Lady B with Page, Bonham, and Jones. Extra points for claiming that she inserted an “only songs from I and IV” clause in her contract. And bonus extra points for being something I would actually want to hear. This wins the Internet for today, I think. [Bjork.com]

Nine Inch Nails‘ new album. “To download NIN’s new full-length album Strobe Light, PRODUCED BY TIMBALAND, enter a valid email address in the fields below. A download link will be sent to you immediately. Your credit card will be charged $18.98 plus a $10 digital delivery convenience fee. Your files will arrive as windows media files playable on quite a few players with your name embedded all over them just in case you lose them. You will also receive an exclusive photo and a free email account with our partner Google’s Gmail service.” Chris Cornell’s Twitter unavailable for comment. [nin.com, although be warned: I think the <blink> tag usage is going to give me a seizure.]

Comerica Park is being renamed Kid Rock Field. Not going to lie: If a friend of mine hadn’t sent me this in a “hey, did you see this April Fool’s joke?” context, I would have believed it, what with the home of the Detroit Tigers currently being named in honor of a bank and all. (If only an enterprising Mets fan had thought of this first…) [KidRock.com; HT Pat]

Peter Bjorn And John Shreds. 5.5? [YouTube]

Marty Friedman joins Limp Bizkit. Had me going there for a second, thanks to the excellent mimicry of Fred Durst‘s Twitter “style.” [MetalSucks]

“Warner Bros. Acquires The Pirate Bay.” “when i first read this it scared the shit outa me but then i looked at my calender and was sooooooooooo relived when i saw that it was april 1st. i almost had a heart attack you guys! come on not cool!!!! lol oh yeah, and 13 billion dollars??? in this economy??? yeah right WB’s aint doing shit lol” See what happens when you indulge geeks? Do you see? [The Pirate Bay]

“Deicide Frontman Converts To Christianity.” Not all that original in the grand scheme of Crazy Confessions; claim that the conversion was announced “on the band’s Web site” would have probably been a little funnier if the actual Deicide site wasn’t currently redirecting to a domain squatter. [Metal Underground]

Ethan Hawke profiles Kris Kristofferson for Rolling Stone. Oh, wait, that isn’t a joke? Huh. [RS]

Limp Bizkit

—the nu-metal poster children who, with the help of a George Michael song and a red baseball cap, captured the rage of a particular subset of baseball-cap-and-baggy-pant-wearing young men in the late ’90s—are going to record an album and head out on tour this spring, the first time the original lineup has been together in eight years. Did you know that the band’s first three albums have sold more than 20 million copies? I suspect the fourth one will not boost that total by a substantial amount, but I may be wrong, because there are a lot of angry people out there. (Although a lot of that general frustration does come from people having no money to buy frivolous things like Limp Bizkit albums. Hmm. Social experiment!)

Fred Durst nearly gave away the “surprise” on his Twitter last night. How will nu-metal cope with the Web 2.0 age? Perhaps this joint statement from Durst and guitarist Wes Borland can provide a hint:

“We decided we were more disgusted and bored with the state of heavy popular music than we were with each other. Regardless of where our separate paths have taken us, we recognize there is a powerful and unique energy with this particular group of people we have not found anywhere else. This is why Limp Bizkit is back.”

Oh boy! Expect lots of peevish Twitters about Shinedown and Seether in the coming weeks!

Limp Bizkit [Official site]

Many people find it hard to tell the great from the godawful when it comes to 21st-century mainstream rock. To help figure out which is which, here’s “Corporate Rock Still Sells,” where Al “GovernmentNames” Shipley examines what’s good, bad, and ugly in the world of rock and roll. This time around, he celebrates the 20th anniversary of Billboard‘s Modern Rock chart by cherry-picking some of its most oddly notable chart-toppers:

Last month, the Hot 100–the big cheese of Billboard‘s singles charts–turned 50, and the publication’s been rolling out the red carpet in honor of that golden anniversary. But today, another Billboard milestone is passing by with a little less fanfare: the 20th birthday of the Modern Rock chart. The late-’80s college rock explosion resulted in more and more commercial radio stations playing a variety of young bands and singer-songwriters that didn’t quite fit into the Pink Floyd/Van Hagar-heavy format covered by the Album Rock Tracks chart (now known as Mainstream Rock) Billboard responded to that trend on Sept. 10, 1998, when it published the first Hot Modern Rock Tracks chart.

In the two decades since, the alternative rock format has exploded–in terms of both stations and listeners–and then shrunk some, all the while going through an aesthetic identity crisis seemingly every five years. I’ve occasionally implied that the chart may have outlived its usefulness, given the dwindling listenership and its increasing crossover with the Mainstream Rock chart. But those arguments are largely facetious, and I hope Billboard never takes my suggestion to heart. (I’d have a lot less to follow or write about.) Two months ago, the trade mag actually added a third rock singles chart, Triple-A (as in Adult Album Alternative); the music on that chart more resembles Modern Rock’s jangly early days. So with Triple-A at one pole and Mainstream Rock at the other, the Modern Rock chart is now, more than ever, effectively the center of Billboard’s rock charts and its most important one, which assures that it should be alive and well for as long as there’s terrestrial radio data to track.

A couple years ago, former Idolator regular Anthony Miccio counted down all of the Modern Rock No. 1s on a highly entertaining blog called modernrock4eva, which I’ve looked at from time to time as inspiration for this column, and to remind myself of just how silly and mercurial this chart has always been. For every No. 1 that could be praised as the harbinger of a new era along the lines of “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” you have a handful of novelty hits, flukes, and bizarre mid-career diversions. I have no interest in honoring the canon, so I thought I’d go through the chart’s first 21 calendar years and pick one No. 1 from each: not the best song, but the one that was most likely forgotten, never heard, or be classified as a “surprising” hit:

1988: Siouxsie and the Banshees – “Peek-a-Boo”

This isn’t the most obscure of the five songs that topped the chart in its first four months of existence. But it was the chart’s very first No. 1, and I can think of no more auspicious a beginning for this institution than a bonkers dance-pop crossover full of backmasked accordion.

1989: Public Image Ltd. – “Disappointed”

There are some perfectly valid reasons that this band is revered by some much more than John Lydon’s other, more famous band. But this backup singer-aided ball of cheese, one of PiL’s last gasps before Lydon entered an endless cycle of Sex Pistols reunions, is most likely not one of them.

1990: David J – “I’ll Be Your Chauffeur”

Before embarking on this column, I had no idea that being a Bauhaus alum was apparently all it took to top this chart in its early days. Love And Rockets reached No. 1 in ’89, and the next year both Peter Murphy and David J reached the summit as solo artists.

1991: U2 – “The Fly”

There were more obscure No. 1′s from this year, but this wins by virtue of being one of the least-known lead singles from an established band’s blockbuster album ever released. It’s kind of amazing, in retrospect, that U2 managed to release this song first with future Achtung Baby smashes like “One” and “Mysterious Ways” waiting in the chamber. In light of how well they got away with this gamble, it’s easier to understand where they got the balls to release “Numb” and “Discotheque” as lead singles later on.

1992: Lou Reed – “What’s Good”

1992 was, for many people and especially for my 10-year-old self, ground zero for the alt-rock explosion. It was also the year I became aware of the Modern Rock chart–MTV’s 120 Minutes would run through the top 10 before a commercial break each week. But even as some of the decade’s biggest bands were scoring their first hits, the chart was still being dominated by oldsters enjoying their final glimpses of serious rock airplay, including Peter Gabriel, The B-52′s, XTC, and ol’ Lou.

1993: Tears For Fears – “Break It Down Again”

It’s hard to compare this song to any of the Songs From The Big Chair megahits, but this one still sounds tremendous to me.

1994: Counting Crows – “Einstein on the Beach (For an Eggman)”

Their 1993 debut August And Everything After yielded three Modern Rock top 10 hits, but the only Counting Crows song to ever top the chart was this bouncy outtake, which was tossed on the DGC Rarities compilation.

1995: Red Hot Chili Peppers – “My Friends”

I may not particularly like the many, many power ballads RHCP has recorded since reuniting with John Frusciante. But they all beat the hell out of the one they did when Dave Navarro was in the band.

1996: The Cranberries – “Salvation”

The Cranberries’ metamorphosis from the winsome Irish balladeers of “Dreams” to the creepy doomsayers of “Zombie” and this peppy anti-heroin screed is one of the more fascinating transformations of the mid-’90s alt-rock era. Some of Rihanna’s fashion and artistic choices of late make me wonder if Dolores O’Riordan is her spirit animal.

1997: Live – “Lakini’s Juice”

Along the same lines as “Salvation,” this is a fascinating instance of an overexposed band becoming somewhat interesting at the exact moment that its career took a nosedive. It’s a shame Live’s ensuing commercial decline was full of more pap like “The Dolphin’s Cry” than riffs as fucking nasty as the one here.

1998: The Goo Goo Dolls – “Slide”

1998 was a truly dire year for Modern Rock: It began with the 15-week reign of Marcy Playground, who were succeeded by the seven-week reign of Fastball (you can probably guess the songs). Things didn’t get much better from there, and I can honestly say every single one of the 11 songs that topped the chart that year holds at least one unpleasant memory for me. And while this one isn’t as good as “Iris,” it’s still the least overplayed of these songs that I could choose.

1999: Limp Bizkit – “Re-Arranged”

Most of Limp Bizkit’s fun songs shoehorned in incongrously slow, serious bridges, so it was pretty shocking that they managed to make a whole song out of one of those brooding grooves that turned out to be one of their best hits.

2000: Green Day – “Minority”

Reminding myself that Green Day had such a popular “political” song shortly before American Idiot makes me marvel at how well they succeeded at selling that album as both a comeback and a change of pace.

2001: Sum 41 – “Fat Lip”

2001 was the year that Staind, Nickelback, Linkin Park and Incubus all became power ballad superstars, but at least one band was having some goofy, sloppy fun at No. 1 (well, two, if you count those guys that covered “Smooth Criminal”).

2002: Unwritten Law – “Seein’ Red”

Every time I read this song’s title and tried to remember what it sounded like before looking it up on YouTube, all I could think of was Chevelle’s “The Red,” which reached No. 4 at almost the exact same time that this song topped the chart, features a refrain of the phrase “seeing red,” and has remained a much stronger radio staple in the years since.

2003: Jane’s Addiction – “Just Because”

A perfunctory one-week chart-topper from a hollow, pointless reunion. And thanks to Entourage‘s really, really annoying theme song, it isn’t even the best-known track from its parent album.

2004: The Offspring – “Hit That”

This seems to be about the point where The Offspring decided to back off from the antics of novelty hits like “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy).” But before getting fully serious with their recent hit “Hammerhead,” they had to wean themselves off the silly shit by making a song with farting ska horns, awkwardly deployed hip-hop slang, and a video starring an animated dog.

2005: Audioslave – “Be Yourself”

Audioslave was an ugly marriage of convenience always headed for an inevitable divorce, but this song marked one time they seemed almost convincingly compatible.

2006: The Foo Fighters – “DOA”

Even though it’s just three years old, it’s not even the 10th-most-played Foo Fighters song on radio now. A shame, since it’s just about their only recent single that follows through on the unfulfilled promise of muscular new wave glimpsed on early singles like “This Is A Call” or “Monkey Wrench.”

2007: Incubus – “Anna Molly”

“Megalomaniac” could’ve been their “Lakini’s Juice,” but instead these guys kept at it and made leaner, better hard-rock hits.

2008: Staind – “Believe”

I leave you with the current No. 1, partly to give symmetry to our journey, and partly because I hope someday soon we’ll all have long forgotten that gooey Diane Warren bullshit like “believe in me, ’cause I was meant for chasing dreams” ever topped a chart that’s championed much weirder, better stuff.

From time to time, we like to round up the all-important, all-summarizing last sentences of the biggest new-music reviews. Today, we’re going to switch things up a bit and look at the notices given to the Fred Durst-directed The Longshots, which features Ice Cube as the doting uncle of a female football prodigy and which comes out today.

• “Worth mentioning is that the movie was directed by the Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst. ‘Dude, give me some of that Hollywood magic music,’ one imagines this hard-core rocker, in his capacity as cheesy family-film hack, saying to his (uncredited) composer. ‘Nah, man, a little more sentimental and sparkly. That’s it! Now put it everywhere, man. Awesome. Work it out, dude, I’m going to lunch.’ ” [NYT]

• “Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst, who made his directorial debut with 2007′s little-seen The Education of Charlie Banks, brings a workmanlike efficiency to The Longshots but not much style, apart from a few sequences in which he wanders away from the action to explore Minden’s ragged brick streets and crumbling buildings. And even those shots seem obligatory and lacking in inspiration. It’s almost always rewarding to watch an underdog triumph–what else could explain why movies exactly like this keep being made?–but Longshots is one underdog that’s hard to love and harder still to champion.” [Chicago Tribune]

• “Saddled with such a predictable plot and script, Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst, moonlighting as movie director, delivers a mildly diverting tale. But because The Longshots never escapes the sense of being too contrived, it never really gets the crowd on its feet.” [Toronto Star]

• “Former Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst directs in a surprisingly dull fashion, and most of the characters, including Jasmine’s mother and father, are numbingly one-dimensional. However, the saga is an undeniably heartwarming one about perseverance, hard work, and pride in community. And who could criticize that?” [USA Today]

• “Fred Durst, from the group Limp Bizkit, directs with the unsophisticated simplicity that the story requires. And in a time when so many movies throw in so much casual profanity, it’s heartening to see one where the characters, even in the most cathartic stressful moments, are able to express themselves honestly and forcefully without cursing. That attitude earns The Longshots a solid recommendation for all audiences.” [WP]

[Thanks to Radar for the reminder that this was coming out]

Marilyn Manson announced last night that he’d hired a new guitar player for his band, and that man is Wes Borland, late of Limp Bizkit and Black Light Burns. And from the way Manson referred to Borland’s previous musical exploits in the announcement, I wouldn’t expect Fred Durst to be invited backstage to any upcoming shows: “He used to be in a really terrible band that he left because he felt that it was a destructive force in art, and he has his own band, Black Light Burns, but now he is in Marilyn Manson,” Manson told a press assemblage in Seoul. “We don’t know how permanent that is, but starting tomorrow will be the first step. So this will be the most indestructible Marilyn Manson.” It can’t even be stopped by a horde of red-baseball-cap-wearing angry dudes, or even by people who think that Manson’s schtick is pretty tired by this point! Clip of Manson’s press conference after the jump.

Me, I’m just hoping that Fred Durst’s mom comes back to weigh in on all this.

Marilyn Manson Interview Korea 08 [YouTube via Blabbermouth]

Ah, Wes Borland. When you’re playing with Limp Bizkit, everyone talks about how you’re actually a good guitar player who listens to Portishead and Ween. But when you start your own band, nobody ever gives a shit. Ironically, the upcoming covers album from your Black Light Burns–which promises tributes to Fiona Apple, your old band Big Dumb Face, Swans, Lard, PJ Harvey, and Jesus Lizard-will probably bring you more attention than anything you’ve done before, especially once people hear the tracks. Judging by the covers of “So Alive” and “Lucretia My Reflection” on your MySpace page, it might actually be kind of cool. And thanks to your innovative pricing tiers, people may be more apt to check it out! The MP3s? Only five bucks. And if you only want his instrumentals? Free, homeslice.

Here’s the tracklisting:
1. Forkboy (Lard cover)
2. So Alive (Love and Rockets cover)
3. Hungry Like The Wolf (Duran Duran cover)
4. Lucretia My Reflection (Sisters of Mercy cover)
5. Rid of Me (PJ Harvey cover)
6. The Art of Self Defense (Jesus Lizard cover)
7. On the Bound (Fiona Apple cover)
8. I Am the Sun (Swans cover)
9. Blood Red Head on Fire (Big Dumb Face cover)
10. Search and Destroy (Iggy & The Stooges cover)
11. Drowning Together, Dying Alone (previously unreleased instrumental)
12. Giving In Again (previously unreleased instrumental)
13. Failing (previously unreleased instrumental)
14. Mesopotamia (Assyrian Mix)
15. Lie (Seth Vogt Club Mix)

And here are the different ways you can get it!

FREE DOWNLOAD
• Instrumentals (seven tracks) with booklet

$5 DOWNLOAD
• Entire Cover Your Heart album with booklet

$25 PHYSICAL
• Entire Cover Your Heart album with booklet
• Entire The Anvil Pants Odyssey DVD (containing videos, a documentary, live footage, and other Wes Borland ephemera)
• T-shirt and Sticker

$100 PHYSICAL DELUXE EDITION
• Entire Cover Your Heart album with booklet
• Entire The Anvil Pants Odyssey DVD
• Entire Cruel Melody CD (Black Light Burns’ first album)
• Limited edition and number hard cover
• Autographed book containing 30 Wes Borland art prints (est. size: 10.5″ x 13.75″)

I like the idea that someone who’s willing to put down $100 for this magical collection of covers and live performances hasn’t gotten around to buying the band’s first album. Maybe Black Light Burns would sell even more if they said that every purchase went toward keeping Wes from having to accept Fred’s annual plea for him to return to Limp Bizkit.

Limp Solo Release [antiMUSIC]
Black Light Burns [MySpace]

I know for some people this will just be another example of Chris Martin making Coldplay fans feel like idiots, but for me? Love. Sheer, unabashed love. The love I can only feel for a sensitive, interview-wary multiplatinum artist that goes off on a tangent about how unappreciated Limp Bizkit are in Entertainment Weekly. How was I to know that the man behind “God Put A Smile On Your Face” was a huge fan of “Rollin’,” which, yes, is indeed the best Limp Bizkit song of all time? “It might be unfashionable to say it at the moment, but Limp Bizkit had a lot of life in them when they were at their best. I’m proud to say it right here, live and on the record.” And I’m proud of you, Chris. You played Limp Bizkit for Brian Eno! I doubt anyone’s ever thought to do that before.

MARTIN: With Brian [Eno], he’s not snobby about any kind of music. He’d say, ”Listen to this Donna Summer track and then this Boyz II Men track.” Then we’d listen to Rammstein, and I played him a Limp Bizkit song. It could be literally like that, so we were able to plagiarize from the most extraordinary places.

Which Limp Bizkit song?
MARTIN: ”Rollin,” which is my favorite. I love Limp Bizkit. Just watch, in about 10 years people will start saying, ”You know what? They were great.” Because you can’t question their energy and enthusiasm and that’s Brian’s big thing — he doesn’t care what the music sounds like, as long as it has life in it. It might be unfashionable to say it at the moment, but Limp Bizkit had a lot of life in them when they were at their best. I’m proud to say it right here, live and on the record.

I don’t even know how to respond to that…
MARTIN: I also think that their version of ”Behind Blue Eyes” is better than the Who’s. Call me sacrilege.

No, I call you a hero. Keep on rollin’, Chris! You know what time it is!

Coldplay Talk Viva La Vida [EW]
Limp Bizkit – Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle) [YouTube]

Here’s the trailer for The Longshots (formerly Comeback), the film that Fred Durst and Ice Cube’s careers have been building toward for a long time. Who better than the authors of “Nookie” and “Givin’ Up The Nappy Dug Out” to tell the story of the first female quarterback in a Pop Warner football tournament. Snoop Dogg’s Pop Warner movie is still in development, so maybe he’ll shout “I believe in you, bitch!” from the stands in a cameo.

While Durst is the director of The Longshots, he’s also shown some talent in front of the screen as well. In 2006′s Population 436, the Chocolate Starfish plays a simple-minded deputy sheriff of a town whose population count hasn’t changed in over one hundred years. Jeremy Sisto plays a census bureau investigator who discovers the town’s dark secret, and has sex with Durst’s would-be girlfriend while Fred watches in horror through a hole in the barn wall. This clip, sadly, does not include that sequence.

The Longshots Trailer HD [YouTube]
Population 436 (2006) [YouTube]

Like the way John Otto takes you to the Matthews Bridge there? “Limp Bizkit’s groove master” has started Ottomatic Sounds, where he will teach you “nu and old school” drum techniques for only $150-200 a session! Let’s check it out together!

I currently can’t work a kick pedal for shit, but I think John Otto might just be the guy to help me master it. C’mon, Buzznet… hook a bizkit up, won’t you?

Limp Bizkit – My Generation [YouTube]
John Otto of OTTOMATIC SOUNDS [MySpace via Blabbermouth]

What is Fred Durst up to right now? It’s a question I frequently ask myself, and, what with me plastering his face all over Idolator, one you might be pondering as well. A new album? A new sex tape? A new cred-hungry t-shirt purchase? A new… feel-good sports movie starring Ice Cube and Keke “Akeelah & The Bee” Palmer? The Chocolate Starfish recently finished location shooting on Comeback, the story of the first female quarterback to play in a Pop Warner football tournament. Ice Cube, Durst’s former Family Values tourmate, will produce the film and play her coach. Durst’s TriBeca Film Festival award-winning directorial debut, The Education Of Charlie Banks, set at Vassar(!), may see release this spring. Did we misjudge Fred? Has his public idiocy just been an act?

Fred would sure like us to think so. Check out the mind-blowing career narrative in this interview promoting Banks. Turns out he always wanted to be “a Hal Ashby, a Woody Allen, a Stanley Kubrick” (at 1:59, I shit you not), but then “the band started taking off,” and well… what can you do when fame comes calling for your rap-rock band?

A film by Fred Durst, yo. A film by Fred Durst.

FRED DURST ON MSG,NY – 5/2 [YouTube]
Ice Cube, ‘Comeback,’ film on Calvary’s Field [The Shreveport Times]

Sometimes there’s news that hits the wire that seems like it merits some sort of bloggo remark or more appropriately, should be broadcast as widely as possible to warn the populace. So here, the first (and likely last) appearance of a “feature” entitled “Presented Without Comment”:

Pete Wentz to open ‘punk’-themed beauty parlor: Not surprisingly, the salon is unisex. Also, a guy who was on a reality show I don’t really remember will be the head stylist. [NY Daily News]

Korn Guitarist Forms New Band: It should be noted that James “Munky” Shaffer’s new band, Fear and the Nervous System, also includes Limp Bizkit’s Wes Borland and Faith No More’s Billy Gould. [LiveDaily]

Janet Jackson is considering having her eggs frozen: Later in the piece, taken from Janet’s appearance on the Tyra show, Janet mentioned that she might be “allergic to marriage.” It could not be confirmed, but we hear that quiet sobs were heard from the side of the stage, interspersed with someone saying “So So Def.” [Boston.com]

[Photo: AP]

Add another name beside “Toby Keith” on the ever-growing list of T-Pain’s dream collaborations: “Really, to just do a T-Pain/Limp Bizkit song, that would be awesome for me.” Could this rappa-rocka summit prove the end of the sanga’s bulletproof Billboard run? Or could T-Pain’s magic touch actually get hatless pop pariah Fred Durst back on the radio? [MTV / Photo: AP]