LL Cool J has pulled out of Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu Tour due to "scheduling conflicts" that cropped up after Jackson had to reschedule a bunch of shows because of a bout with vertigo. No word on who's going to replace LL on the dates yet, but whoever signs on might want to stock up on their good luck charms before hitting the road. [AP]
There's still a month or so left on the Janet Jackson/LL Cool J tour (get psyched, Connecticut!), but if the music industry were to have what seems to be its way, the Oct. 22 Dallas date would be both acts' music biz retirement party.
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It's time for another look at upcoming albums that have had their release dates pushed back, a condition that's growing ever more chronic as the bottom seemingly falls out of the music industry. Today, we look at albums by Busta Rhymes, Girlicious, and LL Cool J that are allegedly coming soon, although not as soon as originally thought.
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MTV's James Montgomery recently found himself in a bit of a kwinky-dink when he realized he was listening to Girl Talk's Feed The Animals on a plane while LL Cool J, whose "Mama Said Knock You Out" is sampled with impunity, sat in first class, oblivious to the lift. Should the writer leave coach and (if he doesn't get tackled by a member of L's entourage or an undercover agent) reveal this thievery to the superstar? "It's an entirely post-millennial dilemma, one that's right up there in the minds of today's music journalists with 'If you are talking to Paris Hilton on a red carpet, do you acknowledge the fact that you have seen her naked?' and 'Do you tell a band that you've downloaded their new album from LimeWire to prep for this interview?'" Yeah, what could be more "post-millennial" than using an uncleared sample? The idea of using someone else's hook without permission would undoubtedly blow LL Cool J's mind in its post-millennial audacity. What '80s rapper wouldn't be shocked to hear of such a thing?
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Billboard reports today on a few "top rap acts" with expiring contracts and a taste for more direct streams of cash. Although Jay-Z has proven that hip-hop can venture outside the traditional record-label world, what does that mean for acts like Outkast, LL Cool J, and the always delightful 50 Cent?
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When I read that LL Cool J was designing a line of clothing for children, I thought that was a little strange. But then again, the last few albums haven't done terribly well, so why not? You can't fault a squirrel from trying to get a nut. Thankfully, it's not as bad as it seems. The NME got confused over the word "juniors", which in American clothing parlance refers largely to adult women, but in Brit speak is best known for appearing after the word "S Club".
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Speaking of the Super Bowl, apparently Busta Rhymes, LL Cool J, and Missy Elliott are good enough to appear in a Diet Pepsi ad during the broadcast, but not good enough to actually do anything beyond stupidly rehashing an old Saturday Night Live skit from 10 years ago. Anyone want to bet on how well Haddaway will fare on next week's Digital Tracks chart as a result of this little bit of ad placement? [Nah Right]
Hey, are you an LL Cool J fan? Are you sick of the bodysnatcher that took his place some time around 1995 and forced him to make the same wack-ass slow-jam over and over again? Did you hope that his recent intimation that he was beefing with his Def Jam label boss Shawn "Thank Christ I Have Rihanna" Carter might signal the return of the fierce, battle-rapping LL of old? Well, tough shit. Because while LL probably has enough industry clout to take shots at Jay without being wished into the hip-hop cornfield, he's instead decided to be a big pussy:
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Your "I just listened to this three times" review of the new LL Cool J single: It's hard to imagine even the weakest link the Diplomats chain scribbling a title as rote as "New York Gangsters" on a CD-R demo, though they could have easily penned the trite (but "gritty"!) street-reminiscence lyrics, which are so un-LL (especially latter day lothario LL) as to be bizarre and awkward. And not in a cute way, more like your slick playboy dad suddenly chatting up your girlfriend in the voice of a third-string mixtape rapper during dessert: "I learned if you talk too much you get your ass shot up/ Follow your dreams, watch the cash pile up."
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If you're reading this and you're a dude between 18 and 34, you may be wondering how companies plan to reach you, the consumer, in the future. Well, don't worry! The corporations have you all figured out. According to the "Marketing To Men" conference recently held in New York, the answer is "branded entertainment", better known to you as the age-old tradition of getting objectionable celebrities to pimp consumer goods. Whore among whores 50 Cent is among those spearheading the most recent multi-pronged attack on beleagured consumers, with not one, not two, but three tie-in products hitting stores in coming months, according to Violator Management's Chris Lighty:
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- Amateur singer Kevin Costner is suing an L.A. music-promotion firm; apparently, the actor is upset that more people know about this act than his recording act. [Associated Content]
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