A Spanish-language cover of one of his most famous songs!

The Sweet and Tender Hooligans have been paying tribute to Moz since 1996, and, in some cases, provide a more reasonable facsimile of classic Morrissey than the original does these days.

Sadly, "Esta Luz Nunca Se Apagará" is (as far as I know) the only track they perform in Spanish, but you just can't go wrong with a Morrissey tribute act, can you? I mean, he even has the awkward dancing down.

Happy birthday, Morrissey. May all your dreams come true.

Sweet and Tender Hooligans [Official site]

42. Morrissey, Your Arsenal

"Morrissey appears topless and vulnerable, neither dispelling nor confirming rumours surrounding his sexuality as his posture is effete while his body toning is masculine. His microphone looks extremely phallic too."

28. Herbie Mann, Push Push

"Flouting his thick curly chest hair and ominously holding his flute as if it's some kind of sex toy, to us at least, it's stomach-churningly cheesy. Mr Mann seems to be pleased with himself. The dirty bugger."

26. Lords Of Acid, Crablouse

"A curious male naked form, with a female hand seemingly coming out of nowhere and grabbing the genital region, it's just plain baffling."

15. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Abbey Road EP

"We just wonder what they're hiding?"

13. Prince, Lovesexy

"The site [sic] of Prince unclothed is enough to send many-a-woman or gay man weak at the knees, and that's exactly what we got back in 1989: the pint sized music icon completely bollocks naked."

8. Rolling Stones, Sticky Fingers

"The well-endowed chap in question is apparently Joe Dallesandro and not Mick Jagger who is apparently hung like a mouse."

7. Kevin Rowland, My Beauty

"While many claimed it was merely a publicity stunt, the former Dexys man denied saying he was trying to display his 'soft, sexy, feminine side'. It sold about two copies upon its 1999 release. Literally."

1. Liars, It Fit When I Was A Kid

"Although we don't think Angus Andrew and co are into sexing each other up, they sure look like they're enjoying themselves."

Naked men! So funny! Within this group, there are arguably three covers (Morrissey, Prince, Rolling Stones) where male nudity isn't taken as absurd, intentionally or otherwise. The same can't be said of most the boob, butt, and beaver shots that compile the rest of the list. So what would a list that didn't find chest hair inherently ridiculous include? Al Green's Greatest Hits? Raw Power? Uhh, umm... a little help?

Sex Sells: The 50 Dirtiest and Sexiest Album Covers Ever!! [Gigwise]

Is it me, or is the Mozz starting to look a bit like Colin Quinn?

Just sayin'.

Morrissey announces an upcoming show in Israel [YouTube via Morrissey-solo]
[Photos: WENN]

Sparks have refuted speculation that a new song attacks Morrissey.

"Lighten Up, Morrissey" is actually about a man who is unlucky in love, because his girlfriend doesn't think he'll ever match up to Moz.

Sparks' manager Sue Harris told PS: "It's a tribute to Morrissey. The Maels are big admirers of Morrissey—he's been a Sparks fan for years, and the feeling is mutual."

While I am a little bummed the two camps won't be coming to fisticuffs anytime soon, I'm glad that I've been given the chance to post Sparks' 1975 Top of the Pops performance.

Sparks' New Album (With Morrissey related title) [Morrissey-solo.com / HT: Paul Cox]

It is at this point that Morrissey and I have our only line of dialogue - Moz asks his bandmate how his day has been. He replies a bit boring because a lot of it was spent sorting out some business and adds: "But it was good to have Andrew around as company."

Morrissey looks at me with what seems like a slight smirk and shakes my hand. "Don't worry, Andrew, it can only get better than this," he says - and then proceeds to grab his guitarist and rub his fingers through his hair.

All this time I am weighing up quite how not to be boring but to impose myself on the situation. I admit I do give up slightly and just decide to be normal with the band and Moz's PA and to get to know people.

While this is going on everyone is drinking. Morrissey instructs his PA to order him a large vodka concoction. Then something bizarre happens. A drinking game ensues, where one of the musicians is encouraged to knock back his pint to a chorus of "Down in one, down in one, down in one," a chant to which Morrissey himself adds flamenco claps, skipping in front of his employee. He immediately beckons for another pint for the same musician and the process is repeated.

So the moral of Winters' misadventure seems to be: Morrissey... awesome at indie rock frat parties, not so great as an employer?

I Was Morrissey's Roadie [Times Online]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: This value-added, "please buy my greatest hits collection" bonus track doesn't exactly feature Moz's most nimble chorus (moo the title with some extra ululation on "love" and you've pretty much got it), and the big, compressed guitars and other mod rock radio choices (a friend wondered if his producers just forgot to mute the click track) make it sound like he's angling for a future mention in one of Al's columns. As do the plain-spoken love-gone-wrong lyrics that snip the edge off his snippiness. (Did you know that a few rounds of heartbreak makes people grow up? So true.) Maybe he really does need go celibate and snarky again. You know, for the good of his art.

Morrissey - "That's How People Grow Up" [All New Releases]

The NME have, in the past, offered me their "Godlike Genius Award" and I had politely refused. With the Tim Jonze inteview, the Award was offered once again, this time with the added request that I headline their forthcoming awards concert at the O2 Arena, and once again I declined it. This is nothing personal against the NME, although the distressing article would suggest the editor took it as such. My own view is that award ceremonies in pop music are dreadful to witness and are simply a way of the industry warning the artist "see how much you need us" - and, yes, the 'new' NME is very much integrated into the industry, whereas, deep in the magazine's empirical history, the New Musical Express was a propelling force that answered to no one. It led the way by the quality of its writers - Paul Morley, Julie Burchill, Paul du Noyer, Charles Shaar Murray, Nick Kent, Ian Penman, Miles - who would write more words than the articles demanded, and whose views saved some of us, and who pulled us all away from the electrifying boredom of everything and anything that represented the industry. As a consequence the chanting believers of the NME could not bear to miss a single issue; the torrential fluency of its writers left almost no space between words, and the NME became a culture in itself, whereas Melody Maker or Sounds just didn't.

Into the 90s, the NME's discernment and polish became faded nobility, and there it died - but better dead than worn away. The wit imitated by the 90s understudies of Morley and Burchill assumed nastiness to be greatness, and were thus rewarded. But nastiness isn't wit and no writers from the 90s NME survive. Even with sarcasm, irony and innuendo there is an art, of sorts. Now deep in the bosom of time, it is the greatness of the NME's history on which the 'new' NME assumes its relevance.

Wow, he could almost be talking about...blog backlash. Moz also rather mercilessly ridicules his interviewer, Tim Jonze, wondering how anyone writing for a British music magazine could not be familiar with the work of David Bowie, mocking his grasp of the interview process, and questioning how Jonze could be "prepared to attack and argue the point" over immigration in Britain, the alleged statements which initially sparked the "racism" accusations, without a basic grounding in British socio-political/geographic history. (Then he goes on to tell us that he enjoys books and music by a lot of people of varying ethnicities and whatnot.) Morrissey and his management stand by their claim that the entire interview was twisted for sensationalistic effect by Jonze and NME editor Conor McNicholas, while Jonze wrote his own response for the Guardian last week where he claimed that "every single quote attributed to Morrissey is 100% correct, there was no provocation at all, and Morrissey was given a chance to apologise or clarify his views with a second telephone interview." However it will all play out with the lawyers, an incensed Morrissey is our entertainment gain, and he's definitely won this round in the ongoing saucy war of words.

I Abhor Racism And Apologise - For Speaking To The NME [Guardian]

The magazine quoted Morrissey allegedly saying: "Although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears. So the price is enormous."

"If you travel to Germany, it's still absolutely Germany. If you travel to Sweden, it still has a Swedish identity. But travel to England and you have no idea where you are," the singer is reported to have said.

Well, it's not exactly showing up to an interview with a sign that reads "GO BACK FROM WHERE YOU CAME FROM." Right? Okay, it's pretty bad. You'd think Steve would know better after two decades of dealing with reporters hungry for sensationalistic quotes from a noted crank who thinks the modern world blows, and eager to tart up their stories with crypto-racist rhetoric. He later issued a semi-retraction/apology, saying "It could be construed that the reason I wouldn't wish to live in England is the immigration explosion. And that's not true at all." But the NME has yet to print the retraction Morrissey has demanded.

Morrissey Insists On NME Apology [BBC]

"Morrissey gives great head, oops I mean cunnilingus"

Now, I know Morrissey isn't exactly sex-positive, but ... really? Perhaps that slip of the tongue was just a convenient excuse to allow him to cut his losses without saying "My fans hate you" straught out; according to a friend of mine who was at Tuesday night's show, apparently, two songs into the KY set someone screamed "You suck," and her response was "that's okay, if you don't like something, you should express it," which was met with groans. Either way, it's kind of cheesy that the show's new opener is named after a Smiths song.

UPDATE: OK, actually the band is called Girl In A Coma. But still.

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT [KRISTEENYOUNG's MySpace blog]

*At Live Nation, we want to create great experiences for our customers. That's where you come in — we want your feedback on Morrissey at Madison Square Garden Arena.

If you thought Morrissey was great - tell us! If you thought Morrissey was just okay, tell us! Whatever your reaction - tell us! Your feedback helps us build a better concert experience.

The folks at the Music Slut asked their readers for advice on how to reply; we just hope the e-mail servers at Live Nation are advanced enough to accept tears.

Live Nation - Get A Clue! [The Music Slut]

- Over the weekend, R.E.M. premiered a few new songs in Dublin. One concertgoer recorded them all, sideways, with a cameraphone, and they sound decent enough to prepare ourselves to be disappointed all over again. [YouTube]
- Courtney Love's redesigned Web site has a dreadful new song and a questionnaire for people who may want to attend her shows in July; anyone who lists their favorite bands as Bikini Kill, Babes In Toyland, and Faith No More and actually gets in will win at life. [courtneylove.com]
- Morrissey's throat is still in pretty bad shape; he canceled Saturday's Madison Square Garden show, sending area daffodil sellers into a panic. [morrissey-solo.com]

Morrissey has hinted his services may be on offer for the next Eurovision song contest, should the organisers be so kind as to ask.

The former Smiths singer said he was "horrified" by the United Kingdom's latest poor result in the competition. Rapper Daz Sampson could only manage a paltry 19th out of 24 countries in the most recent contest, which took place in Athens in May.

As a result of said trauma, Morrissey has been left troubled, with one issue in particular on his mind: "There is one question that I keep on asking: 'why didn't they ask me?' That question keeps going round my head."

As a result it seems that Moz has been in talks with the BBC, who screen the annual caterwauling competition live and must therefore have some say in what goes on.

Because of Eurovision's rules, any older Morrissey tracks are ineligible (so much for winning over the Italian vote with a song from Ringleader Of The Tormentors); may we suggest a collaboration with former Eurovision contestants t.A.T.u.?

Morrissey in Eurovision song contest talks [Guardian]

Ringleader of the Tormentors, Morrissey's "Italy record," was a rebound from the disappointing You Are The Quarry—it was full of melodrama, lush guitars, and even a little bit of sex. But "The Youngest Was The Most Loved," with its children's choir singing "There is no such thing in life as normal" as if it's a schoolyard taunt, is our favorite track; Morrissey's "la-da-da"ing at the song's outro puts the finishing touch on its birth-of-a-killer tale.

Morrissey - The Youngest Was The Most Loved [MP3, link expired]
The Youngest Was The Most Loved - Morrissey [YouTube]