Idolator: Mtv

Bye Bye Bye: What We've Learned From Pop's "TRL" Era

Mike Barthel — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:45:00 EST

Last night, TRL said goodbye, and while doing so, it listed the ten most influential videos that hit it big on the program. Normally, a TRL list wouldn't be worth the oaktag its cue cards were printed on, but surprisingly, whoever made the picks for this list pretty much nailed it; the ten songs truly did define the five-year span during which pop was ruled by MTV's afternoon countdown show. You rarely see an era officially ending, and you almost never get the era to sum itself up so accurately, so now that we're five years past TRL's hegemony, let's try and figure out what it was like—and figure out what era we're in now.

First, the list, along with the release date of each single:

1. Britney Spears - Baby One More Time (1/12/99)
2. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady (6/30/00)
3. Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way (6/29/99)
4. N*Sync - Bye Bye Bye (3/14/00)
5. Christina Aguilara - Dirrty (10/15/02)
6. Kid Rock - Bawitdaba (2/15/00)
7. Beyonce feat. Jay-Z - Crazy in Love (6/15/03)
8. Usher feat. Ludacris and Lil Jon - Yeah (10/5/04)
9. Blink-182 - What’s My Age Again (10/17/00)
10. OutKast - Hey Ya! (9/15/03)

Those release dates are important, because they define the parameters of the era. Britney's video is not only atop the chart, it's first chronologically, debuting in January 1999—or, when TRL really became important. That era continued through 2003; in 2004 the only entry is "Yeah," which isn't really a TRL video so much. (Even the 2003 entries seem questionable.) But the seven clips that debuted between 1999 and 2002 run absolutely do owe their successes to TRL.

Let's focus on the pop acts—Britney, NSync, Backstreet—for a second. The pop aesthetic was easy to parody—the participants even did so themselves sometimes—but this is just evidence of how powerful it was, how coherent and logical a style. It seemed to evoke a particularly American vision of perfection, everything white and clean, everyone moving together, the music not just making hits but containing hits: that sound you hear at every section change in "Bye Bye Bye" (or at the beginning of the chorus of Britney's "Oops...I Did It Again") is an orchestra hit, ostensibly the biggest sound imaginable (check it on your Casios). It's all over these songs. It did what pop is supposed to do: it sounded big and impossible and new, and it alienated those outside its target demographic. To listen to any of these songs is to feel like there is a gigantic army of jumpsuit-clad teenagers, all connected, all puissant, marching together toward something-or-other, making you feel like you were part of a fantastic movement of being awesome.

And the other songs did, too. They might seem out-of-place now, but Blink-182 was a minor punk band before TRL seized on its latent pop tendencies and turned its three members into the kind of people who you care about when their plane crashes. The myth was that Kid Rock and Eminem excited a different group of people than did Britney and Justin, but that was just part of the game: Ultimately, all the music on TRL was pop.

But more importantly, what made that music pop was TRL, and its five-year run may turn out to be the last stretch of time in which musical tastes could be dictated by a single authority. TRL seized on this new aesthetic and popularized it; instead of methodically building up a fanbase, an aspiring star could just get on the show (and have a great song) and launch a career. A lot of people would discover the artist simultaneously, and even as the song filtered down to radio and word-of-mouth transmission, TRL endured as the ultimate source.

Now, however, authority is diffused. A song becomes big because there's a dance video on YouTube, or because a band has built up a critical mass of emo fans, or because it's released a lot of respected mixtapes. An artist doesn't try and get a song on TV so much as she tries to get people to come to her MySpace. (The only exception to this would seem to be American Idol, but it's not really dictating tastes; instead of picking their favorite song, viewers pick their favorite artist, and then the winner is assigned a song that labels hope everyone will like. That likability still has to come through diffuse authority; witness, for instance, how many Idol runners-up have fared better than winners.) A new release is now just one more event in an ongoing celebrity narrative told by many sources and interpreted by readers on a daily basis, whether the gossip be large-scale stuff about teenpoppers or the endless churn of Internet gossip about R&B singers, rappers, and punk rockers. The single-source model still survives in niches—like Radio Disney—but as a primary driver of the charts, its days seem to be numbered.

The consequence for pop, it seems to me, is a loss of togetherness, that bigness and importance that defined the TRL era. If your first exposure to a song is a link your friend sent you rather than watching it on national television while millions of others do as well, it seems somehow insincere for that song to take on the regalia of impossible newness. You know someone has heard it before if only because your friend sent you the link; your relationship with it is more personal, more about your reaction and your connection to other fans you know personally. That's nice, but it's very different from the kind of pop we're used to thinking about. You can even see the transition in this list. "Yeah" is a good song, but it's a small song too, made up of few small sounds (no orchestra hits here) and accompanied by an avowedly regional rapper. That's what pop sounds like now, mostly. Much as we may have complained about it at the time, in retrospect the TRL era may look like a last hurrah, one final glorious supernova before the whole thing collapsed in on itself.

Idolator Live-Blogs The "TRL" Finale [Idolator]

Where Were You The Last Time Guns N' Roses Released A New Album?

Maura Johnston — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 11:00:00 EST

Yesterday while wandering around New York City I saw a bunch of wheatpasted posters for Chinese Democracy, the latest sign that the seemingly apocryphal Guns N' Roses album is, indeed, coming to a Best Buy near you (and me!) in six days. MTV News' James Montgomery took the occasion to go back in time and remember what the world was like back on Sept. 17, 1991—the last date that an all-new studio release from GNR, the twin-disc Use Your Illusion, hit stores. George H.W. Bush was President of the U.S.; Color Me Badd had the No. 1 single; Britney Spears was nine years old; Emily Valentine was just arriving at West Beverly High. There are many more tidbits in Montgomery's piece (including a nod to the hotness of Sonic The Hedgehog, which, uh, some of us still are trying to finish, albeit on a different system), but I figured I'd take the reminiscing in a more personal direction. Join me, won't you?

In September 1991 I was 16, and in eleventh grade at Hicksville High School in Hicksville, N.Y. I lived in the house where my parents still reside today; I had a dog who was a huge white fluffball and a room with walls that had blue paint. I had just started theater classes at school (in part to get out of taking regular gym; drama nerds got physical-education credit for learning stagefighting) and was playing viola in the school orchestra. I had no idea where I was going to college, although I definitely wanted to leave New York. I got most of my news from Newsday and the New York Daily News, and some from TV.

I worked at a bakery in the center of town, right across the street from a church, and made five bucks an hour for sitting around, eating cannoli cream, and watching the one TV station that the bakery's three-inch TV could bring in, which aired a call-in show hosted by bilingual tarot card readers all afternoon. The occasional customer would come in, although our busy times were really after Masses on Sundays, and on holidays. More importantly, I worked next door to a used-CD store and got paid in cash. (You can probably see where this is going.) And I listened to WBAB and WDRE, taped Headbanger's Ball like it was a weekly Mass, and generally wanted to Hoover up any music I could. So it was not surprising that the owners there loved me; they especially loved me on Sundays, when I would spend pretty much my entire week's income on CDs. (As a way of showing thanks, they generously discounted each disc by around a dollar.) My favorite bands at the time were probably Soundgarden, Jellyfish, Skid Row, and Faith No More, and the two owners of the store often had recommendations for me (mostly of promo CDs that were traded in).

I also used my dad's CompuServe account, like, a lot, frequently going over his account's monthly hours-limit and causing much consternation. Usually I just poked around, wishing that the music forums were less stodgy and full of people who liked Real Rock, Man. I did, however, e-mail Adam Curry at one point during the duration of that account's existence, although I doubt he'd remember it at all today (the nimbus of his fame, etc).

So yeah, a lot of patterns being established back then, although things really took a turn for the kinda-crazy later that year, when Spin put out its year-end issue. What about you?

What Was The World Like The Last Time Guns N' Roses Released An Album? [MTV Newsroom]

Idolator Live-Blogs The "TRL" Finale: 1-800-DIAL-MTV, We Knew Ye When

Maura Johnston — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 19:45:00 EST

Tonight brings us the finale of MTV's daily countdown show TRL, and MTV is pulling out a few stops to celebrate its end: A few live performances, a few interviews, a return to hosting duties by TRL OG Carson Daly. In some ways, this denouement was inevitable: The fizzy, sheeny, ever-expanding America that was epitomized by the rise of both the first Britney era and TRL some 10 years ago is all but over, what with a seemingly neverending bust ensuing and the concept of "popular music" being less popular than ever. But that doesn't mean we can't eulogize it, right? Full coverage begins after the jump.

7:46 p.m. A Carson Daly-hosted break during America's Next Top Model reveals that Times Square is actually crowded! Well, actually, it's not that crowded; half the crowd was just forced to stand in front of the Foot Locker across the street from 1515 Broadway so as to give the illusion of a New Year's Eve-like (or even Obama win-esque) atmosphere.

7:51 p.m. Speaking of outside, apparently Fall Out Boy's performance will be out in the Times Square chill. Any NYC Idolator readers want to head down there? (I'd go, but I'm pretty ensconsed up here on the Official Liveblogging Couch Of Late 2008, which, in case you're wondering, is green and could probably fit three people. But I'm all alone, aw. Oh well, more egg nog for me!)

7:54 p.m. Has anyone ever commented on the anti-grammatical stance of Tyra Banks on ANTM? "You're still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model?" It just sounds so nightmarish to me, even layered over the Siobhan Donaghy record (which I am listening to in order to steel myself for the next three hours).

7:59 p.m. This eliminated girl's clavicles could cut hair.

8:00 p.m. Aw, Carson Daly looked so pinchable in the old days. You know, when Times Square was all edgy and stuff?

8:01 p.m. I guess the show is opening with a countdown of top 10 TRL moments? And one of them includes... Britney performing "Me Against The Music." And another is Stevie Wonder freestyling on the harmonica? This is very strange.

8:02 p.m. Beyonce is No. 1. Well, I guess we're setting a "TRL's countdown never meant anything anyway" pattern early....

8:02 p.m. Ah, and of course, Beyonce is No. 1 because she's the guest with the closest album-release date. But why is she not doing "Single Ladies"? This is the same error she made on last night's SNL and on her album—leading with the balladry. It's never a good idea. Every hard rock band in the late '80s/early '90s knew this, B.

8:04 p.m. This song is OK. But it works better in a "brooding in one's room" context than a "surrounded by freaking-out teenagers and people who were teenagers around the time of TRL's debut" context. Although I will say that her band is pretty great.

8:05 p.m. And now "Single Ladies." Alas, Sasha Fierce's Krugerhand does not spontaneously generate when the two booty dancers show up.

8:06 p.m. Hey MTV director, chill out and just show the dancers, will you? Fosse-biting aside, this dance is one of the best bits of choreography we're likely to see on a mass level in 2008.

8:07 p.m. This song is so, so good. Straight up.

8:08 p.m. And on to "Crazy In Love," with a piped-in Jay-Z! But Beyonce is dancing her ass off and the MTV directors just can't. Stop. Cutting. I could make a really crass self-mutilation joke here but I won't. (I have to save something big for the last half-hour, right?)

8:09 p.m. Sway's intro of Damien Fahey and Carson Daly just repeated itself before stopping, and now neither of the hosts microphones are on... Oh, this is kind of a mess already. So, um, who's in the Sky Suite, guys?

8:10 p.m. Carson is waxing philosophical about how TRL is for the people. I guess "the people" includes "the label-employed street teams," at least on an abstract level.

8:12 p.m. There are a lot of A-listers backstage, you guys! And a countdown of "10 videos that defined music videos and pop culture." Because if there's one thing that American music needs more of, it's lists! Here's No. 10 while Carson and Damien bro-hug: "Hey Ya!"

10. OutKast, "Hey Ya!"

8:13 p.m. "Importance" doesn't mean that the whole video will be played and won't be talked over, just FYI.

8:14 p.m. Overexposure at every public place in the early part of this decade aside, this song still owns. Hey, here are two of the chick VJs with Taylor Swift!

8:15 p.m. Taylor Swift has appointed herself Official Annoying Person Who Forces Everyone To Sign Her Yearbook of the TRL finale.

8:16 p.m. Thanks, Carson Daly, for reminding me once again that I'm old. Oh, but wait, the Backstreet Boys are too! Hooray.

8:17 p.m. The minute-by-minute breakdown of what's coming up sure makes it easy for me to time bathroom breaks. (Also, it's so bad local news—did TRL come up with this practice?)

8:19 p.m. This Drew Barrymore mascara ad is reminding me of this crazy eyelash-decoration technique that I saw in the new issue of Elle earlier today while I was getting my hair done (NB haircuts are the only time I read "girl" magazines, because I inevitably run out of stuff to read). It involved—wait for it—turning the mascara wand to a 90-degree angle and forcing your eyelashes to clump together in points. It was an homage to Antonioni's Blow Up. No, really. Who says fashion can't be about culture?

8:22 p.m. BREAKING: MILEY CYRUS ISN'T DEAD. SHE'S IN THE TRL PHOTOBOOTH. And making that dumb cheeks-sucked-in face.

8:22 p.m. And, um, here's Travis Barker in his first post-plane-crash interview. (That's kind of a weird coincidence, no?) He's playing his drums again, which is nice.

8:23 p.m. I wonder if the people outside Foot Locker can hear Travis? I wonder if anyone has bought anything at Foot Locker?

8:24 p.m. Hey it's No. 9! This one's for Kate!

9. Blink-182, "What's My Age Again"

8:25 p.m. Diddy's Greatest Moments = Bathroom Breaks' Greatest Opportunities?

8:26 p.m. Ah, the days of the World Premiere Video. I got sort of nostalgic the other day when catching that Matthew Sweet clip that incorporated the world premiere of "Ugly Truth Rock," remembering all the times I'd set the VCR for post-drama club watching.

8:28 p.m. Diddy is crying. Or acting-crying. He is also wearing a leather coat that seems to have been excavated from Wilson's Leather ca. 1993.

8:29 p.m. One thing's for sure: MySpace Music is getting a lot of free ad time tonight.

8:30 p.m. Carson Daly: "There's so much more show." Yes. Yes, there is.

8:31 p.m. "A-Punk" selling Paris Hilton? I guess there have been weirder culture clashes this year. Maybe. Ah, whatever, they're all rich, right?

8:35 p.m. Ben Stiller's whole "I'm an arrogant asshole" schtick works a lot better when it's couched in a Bono impersonation.

8:36 p.m. Carson is taking us into the guts of the MTV studios! Lots of running around is ensuing. Since everyone's being self-indulgent, I will take a moment to let you all know that I have had my makeup done in one of these rooms. (I know, right?)

8:37 p.m. Vanessa Minillo is wearing a dress that looks to be fashioned from old American flags. And La La is there, too! Wow, they really brought out the big guns for tonight.

8:38 p.m. I don't know about you, but I don't remember "Yeah!" because of its lyrics.

8. Usher ft. Ludacris and Lil Jon, "Yeah!"

8:40 p.m. YAY IT'S DAVE HOLMES AND JESSE CAMP

8:40 p.m. Jesse is sad that he didn't get to serve as one of Sasha Fierce's backup dancers, and I think that's a sentiment that we all can agree on.

8:41 p.m. Ah, 1998: When one geek's capacity to wreak havoc on the Internet for the purpose of bringing the lulz was still relatively unplumbed.

8:42 p.m. One thing about tonight: It's really kind of tame compared to other MTV bacchanalia. Everyone is very reverent. Christina Aguilera is talking about "thank[ing] God for the start of many things." She is via satellite, but still, it's all kind of... sedate? Maybe it's the cultural moment seeping in.

8:44 p.m. "Amazing," "energy," "bask in it." Blah blah blah.

8:47 p.m. Really hating these Secret ads about BO ruining the mood on a wedding night. I'm sure there are like 5,000 other things leading up to that moment that could be dealbreakers, for serious.

8:49 p.m. Vampire Weekend are showing the world that some people actually learn to ride a bike in college.

7. Beyonce ft. Jay-Z, "Crazy In Love"

8:50 p.m. There is a room with free booze? I am drinking cold coffee that I French pressed this morning. And people are mugging for the camera in the background. The life of a blogger, guys. It's glamorous.

8:52 p.m. The "traffic jam" montage, which is probably causing many a cab driver to raise his hands and cheer this day.

8:54 p.m. Dave Holmes: "That was weirder than it looked."

8:54 p.m. Fall Out Boy minus Wentz! Also, nice Fuck City stickers on the drums, Andy.

8:56 p.m. The band is on the lit-up bed of a truck, which I suppose is meant to replace the light-up guitars?

8:57 p.m. Whoops there they are! Uh, sorry, unfocused.

8:58 p.m. I am kind of jealous of Patrick Stump's skin.

8:59 p.m. And Vanessa's coat.

8:59 p.m. And anyone who got to hear songs from JC Chasez's Kate that weren't "Until Yesterday" or the song David Archuleta covered.

9:01 p.m. BURNING QUESTION: What will the recession do to the market for things like Neutrogena's Vibrator For Your Face?

9:02 p.m. Jess, who is not watching TRL but who is concerned about my general mental well-being, checks in:

jessdolator: so do you get to do something else for a living now that this is all over?
mauraatidolator: maybe i'll get to write tampon ads
mauraatidolator: since this one sucks
jessdolator: i'm thinking talk show
mauraatidolator: yeah?
mauraatidolator: but who would talk to me
jessdolator: in keeping with the grand post-trl tradition
mauraatidolator: i could be the nu-donahue
mauraatidolator: and say lots of things that the guests don't understand
mauraatidolator: (yes i watched 'to die for' last night)

9:04 p.m. Only "thousands" are outside in Times Square. Not even "tens of"? Times are tough, everybody.

9:04 p.m. 50 Cent is as of now a no-show? Oh, Curtis, you stay classy.

9:05 p.m. A montage of "good" live performances from years past is making me realize that this show is woefully Clarkson-deficient.

9:07 p.m. It's Justin and JC! And they're coming out to "Pop," which I still pretty much totally love. Celebrity is a pretty OK pop record when you get right down to it.

9:07 p.m. Wow, an old shot of Justin dressed like the "Dick In A Box" dude for real.

9:09 p.m. Also getting a lot of free airtime: Planters peanuts. Hey, I'm hungry!

9:09 p.m. Hey Carson, it may be best to not bring up MTV-masterminded Super Bowls to Justin. Ahem.

9:10 p.m. More meetings of The Olds: Dave Holmes with Jonathan Davis! Jonathan Davis is wearing this hoodie that looks like it's a black-and-white Magic Eye. The whole effect is very Sage Wizened Guy At The Comic Book Store.

9:12 p.m. Thinking of Korn, Kid Rock, and Limp Bizkit hanging out is making me think of what happened when Kid Rock hung out with Scott Stapp. Ick ick ick ick ickkkkk brb throwing up

9:14 p.m. Taking a break from the dry-heaving to commemorate possibly the final time that "violence" will be swapped out in favor of "Primus" on MTV.

9:17 p.m. Kid Rock is smoking and drinking indoors! Because he is such a fucking rebel! You guys!

9:18 p.m. And now he's drawing attention to the fact that he won't put his guitar out. What a fucking yutz. Sorry.

9:18 p.m. No wait, I'm not sorry! Because I can be a badass too. So there, everybody. So fucking there.

6. Kid Rock, "Bawitdaba"

9:20 p.m. And now, Kid Rock is pontificating on the relative diversity of music in 1998. And how we can all get along no matter what our individual tastes. Ah, Kid, you've convinced me. Maybe I won't think you're a yutz after all, you know? Let's say that it's in the spirit of "holding on for dear life as the ship that is 'popular music' finally capsizes."

9:21 p.m. Everyone's pilgrimages to the window are reminding me of reading about Catholic shrines during my childhood.

9:22 p.m. The MTV News contingent stops by: Sway with hat, Suchin with pretty dress, John with hairpiece. Oh, and it's time for another in-show listicle! The Top Five MTV News Moments! Five—AJ goes to rehab; Four—Blink-182 breaks up; Three—Nick Carter gets popped by the po' po; Two—Britney Spears files for divorce; One—Obama. I guess those other four were all there to set up for the Big Happy Sorta Optimistic Finish?

9:24 p.m. 9/11 gets its own special mention, complete with "Remember when Rudy Giuliani was only sorta creepy" video clip.

9:28 p.m. I should really know the name of this Frenchy song that's airing under the anti-HPV ad, no?

9:30 p.m. Miley Cyrus is back in the photobooth. Instead of pulling up her shirt and showing her underwear, she is posing in sunglasses and chains in an effort to be like Snoop Dogg, I guess since these photos aren't for her MySpace page.

9:32 p.m. "Diddy promotes himself"? I'm sorry, this is different from "Diddy speaks" how?

9:34 p.m. Diddy is now talking about his new fragrance. (It's available at Macy's!) And saving energy. Rock and roll, guys.

9:35 p.m. Here's Ludacris. He also has an album coming out, you know. (He also has one of my favorite voices ever—it's the way he rolls his rs in part, I think.)

9:37 p.m. And yet the incoherent editing and awful sound and somewhat anemic crowd response are kind of swallowing the proceedings.

9:37 p.m. Oh, poor Nelly, he has to lead with "Hot In Herre" so people remember who he is.

9:38 p.m. There was a six-month period in 2003 when my outgoing answering machine message was just my roommate at the time and me screaming "I WAS LIKE...." to any telemarketers who might be phoning.

9:39 p.m. No second song for Nelly; now it's Snoop's turn. He is totally Dropping It Like It Is Hot. Can a medley that ends with all three people singing one song really be considered "historic"? Is the hyperbolization of every second-rate bit in an effort to drive up ratings for shows like this part of the reason that culture seems so empty and people seem so worn out these days?

9:41 p.m. Carson: "That was something." Translation: "They really haven't figured out how to film a scene in a crowd since the 2007 VMAs, huh?"

9:44 p.m. Vampire Weekend: They hook up on the bus, just like the proles!

9:46 p.m. OK seriously I must have this HPV song on a French pop CD somewhere. Help me out guys!

9:47 p.m. So did they just dispense with this whole "top videos ever" countdown? We haven't had an entry in about half an hour, and there are only about 43 minutes left...

9:49 p.m. For those of you who missed the ice-cream-cart-aided beginning of Mariah Carey's early-decade breakdown, here it is! Because pop music has been all about chronicling the mental breakdowns of its biggest stars for much, much longer than Britney and Celebrity Rehab.

9:52 p.m. Hilary Duff still looks—and sounds—like she is about 15.

9:53 p.m. I think part of me knew that Christina Aguilera had a kid, but Carson Daly just saying to her "as a mom..." made me have a "whoa, old!" moment. (Also, she should can the red lipstick and go for the blush-gloss look more often.) Hey, speaking of coming of age:

5. Christina Aguilera, "Dirrty"

She was 21 years old when she made this, everybody. Just remember that the next time you think about having a daughter.

9:58 p.m. The countdown is coming fast and furious! Because there isn't much time left!

4. N*Sync, "Bye Bye Bye"

9:59 p.m. And now we get to see what happens when it's like when celebrities meet their celebrity crushes. Spoiler: It's somehow more awkward than what happens when normal people meet their celebrity crushes. (Ahem.) Although that could be the whole "presence of cameras" thing. And the whole "both parties are mutually assured of their relative importance" thing.

10:00 p.m. Justin's still tearing up (his heart) though.

10:01 p.m. Hey it's Fall Out Boy again, along with Pete Wentz on a sorta-spazzy phone connection. Ashlee hasn't had the baby yet, contrary to what the Internet might tell us. You guys all know that the Internet is wrong a lot, yes? Yes. It is. Trust me on this, please.

10:03 p.m. Patrick voted for one of the winners (hey they both won, right?) in that 1998 VJ contest. But I think he wasn't the hacker... I think?

10:03 p.m. Hey Dan Gibson, FNMTV is coming back! And now Quddus is using the opportunity to promote some artist he's producing? I guess everyone has to eat in the post-TRL landscape.

10:05 p.m. OK YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THIS FRENCH SONG. Shazam doesn't recognize it. The lyrics are un-Googleable. This is going to drive me crazy.

3. Backstreet Boys, "I Want It That Way"

10:09 p.m. OK everyone, let's sing along.

10:10 p.m. OMG CARSON IS EDGY FOR SAYING 'MOTHERFUCKER' ON SEVEN SECOND DELAYED TV. Also, Samuel L. Jackson introducing... the Backstreet Boys? Um.

10:10 p.m. The whole crowd is singing along. TRL is really about the fans, you guys!

10:12 p.m. This song may be one of five ever to get away with the "fire / desire" rhyme scheme.

10:13 p.m. "I Want It That Way" really did define that whole era, didn't it? Also ha ha at Nick Carter for claiming he remembers some of the people in the audience from The Old Days.

10:15 p.m. This is kind of sweet. I don't think it'll sell them any records, but it's nice.

10:16 p.m. Carson is back in the bowels of the studio again! The Maddens are there, and apparently will be worth being talked to. They do have a remix record coming out, after all.

10:18 p.m. "Apologize" actually sounds much better in string-quartet form. Added bonus: No Timbaland "eh"-ing!

10:18 p.m. So is Pepsi the only company left with any advertising money? This "What Is Love" ad has been on every freaking break. And it's old, so even they are hurting.

10:20 p.m. Seriously though, the ad breaks on this have been very interesting, in a "so this is who's left" way. The many house ads (the Vampire Weekend spots, the OneRepublic ads, those HPV commercials that I still don't know the song behind) and the repeated spots are enough to make one wonder what the ad landscape is going to be like once the holiday rush is over, and what the decline in ad budgets across the board will mean not just for channels like MTV, but all those extra ad-supported channels in the far reaches of the digital-cable universe. Ah, nothing like a little light Sunday-night pontificating, right?

10:22 p.m. I think Miley Cyrus grew fangs.

10:23 p.m. Eminem: Calling Carson Daly "buddy," making an "I'm crushing your head" joke. He sounds pretty happy to be alive!

10:25 p.m. Eminem's next album is coming out early next year! You heard it here, um, second.

10:25 p.m. The inspiration for this album is secret, too, unless you can deduce the multiple meanings of the word "relapse" that are in Em's head.

2. Eminem, "The Real Slim Shady"

10:27 p.m. The date may be different, the time may be different, but the excited girls are all the same.

10:27 p.m. Hold up—Kathy Griffin was in this video??

10:28 p.m. Oh here's 50 Cent, here to let people know that he has a single out. People didn't care the first, second, or eighth time, Curtis.

10:29 p.m. Here is where I would ruminate on how Curtis' brand of anti-charismatic "capitalism over everything else" personality was perfectly paired with the emptiness of this decade, but my hatred for dude's lazy-ass flow is overriding my urge to think.

10:30 p.m. At the very least, this two-song montage pretty much proves why Scott Storch is currently having "issues" and Dr. Dre is just working on records.

10:33 p.m. Hahahha Carson Daly just referred to "Tony Banks." Oh he is so dead.

10:33 p.m. 50 Cent is mourning the loss of "a platform to market and promote ourselves." Never let it be said that dude isn't a sentimentalist!

10:37 p.m. Ad break, ad break, ad break. Lots of video game and "personal care" ads. No ads for Viagra, Cialis, or anything that might get you drunk.

10:38 p.m. One reason I'm thinking about ads: I'm trying to be as much of a sentimentalist as Curtis. Another: This New York Times piece on how the cutback in sponsorship is affecting sports. I guarantee that reading that piece will enrich you much more than listening to the Madden brothers' latest attempt at marketing themselves.

10:39 p.m. Madden On The Right is talking about how life is different after having kids. It really is like a high school reunion!

10:41 p.m. Justin looks sort of dazed—perhaps because he's standing with YouTube sensation Esmee Denters! Although I love that he's making fun of the brain-dead Australian girl, who just asked an inane question about "Internet ah-tists," one last time. Do it for all of us, Justin.

10:43 p.m. And thanks to the wonders of YouTube and Justin Timberlake, you can see the difference between a girl in her bedroom and a girl in a studio.

10:43 p.m. Oh, Australian girl. I really think now is not the time to joke about layoffs at Viacom.

10:45 p.m. Sean Combs took up his page in the yearbook with every single one of his names. NB: It doesn't look like he used "Robert Plant fill-in."

10:46 p.m. Vampire Weekend: They're Just Like Us!, Part XVI: They Also Like To Try And Recreate The Opening Of Ghostbusters!

10:48 p.m. The Googlers Of The World Demand Answers:

Oh, kids. I could talk your ear off about it. Maybe tomorrow? (Also, it's worth noting that "Jesse Camp" is currently right behind "Miley Cyrus Dead" on Google's current hit parade. Jesse, to borrow a phrase from another show, this is your now!)

10:51 p.m. Damien thinks Kid Rock's cigar-wielding ways are "cool." Hmm...

10:52 p.m. Aw, no Britney appearance. But that means more time for a big ol' retrospective of all her videos! You know, "Drive Me Crazy" was crazy underrated. (Also, it should be noted that "Gimme More" is nowhere to be found.)

1. Britney Spears, "...Baby One More Time"

Really, she looks so... well, sort of innocent here. Even with the big basketball between her legs.

10:56 p.m. Well, there's another anticlimactic finish to another MTV show. Everyone there has champagne (wait, does Taylor Swift have champagne?? SCANDAL!). Me, I still have my cold coffee and Carson's doing a toast. Complete with LFO dis (me-ow!). I just tried calling 1-800-DIAL-MTV and the line was busy. Everyone's waving at the window. It's over! Jesse Camp has somehow transformed into a slightly older William Beckett! Good night, TRL. Good night, moon. Good night, sales of sparkly paint at stores in the greater New York City metropolitan era.

Oh My God, You Guys, The VMAs Might Be Fixed!!!!!!!

Maura Johnston — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:00:00 EST

No, really! Kanye West, who you may remember as the guy who got all upset in 2006 about Justice beating him out for one of MTV Europe's video-related awards and then freaked out in 2007 when he didn't win anything at the Vegas edition of the VMAs, only to come back this year to both ceremonies with new singles in tow, apparently went off on a tirade about the integrity of MTV's various trophy-doling extravaganzas during a UK preview of 808s and Heartbreak earlier this week. The words that will shake your faith in fake awards ceremonies that are set up mainly for the purpose of propping up a lie that music is still important to a culture that thinks Heidi Montag is worth airtime after the jump.

Kanye had his rant at the launch of 808s & Heartbreak, his new album, before the first of his dazzling show at London’s O2 Arena on Tuesday.

He said: “BRITNEY SPEARS over RIHANNA? Are you serious?

“I mean f****** JARED LETO? He’s my boy but he shouldn’t have won over some of those other artists.

“I won nothing last year and I’d brought out Stronger.

“Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was L’IL WAYNE’s year.”

The best part of this story, aside from that errant apostrophe? A reference to MTV's "academy" that decides the awards. Ahahahahaha.

I Kan not believe it [Sun]

Idolator Live-Blogs The 2008 mtvU Woodies: Yes, For Real

Kate Richardson — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 23:55:51 EST

Well, I no longer live in student housing, Rilo Kiley is unfortunately not in the building, and I'll play the modesty card and argue that I'm not nearly as hilarious as Maura suggests, but yes, here I am again in the mtvU blogging pit (of doom). Oh, it's not all that bad. The music is really loud and the table is far too high (or maybe it's the chairs that are too low) to type comfortably, but the staff is very friendly and there are free mini-hamburgers so we'll call it even.

8:13 p.m. Some guy dressed like a frat boy on laundry day is singing a song about beer pong. COLLEGE!!!!!

8:17 p.m. Cool Kids are performing a crowd pleasing "SCREEAAAM!" type song and laundry frat boy is crowd surfing. I'm trying to figure out how blogs work so things might be a bit bumpy for a few minutes...

8:23 p.m. Best Video award goes to Motion City Soundtrack. They didn't say which song! Oh well, the video director just yelled Texas A&M at the end of her speech, I think. What?

8:26 p.m. Just looked it up—that fratty guy's name is Asher Roth. He was saying something on the red carpet about bringing back good times hip-hop. Are you confused yet? Don't worry, we're in this together. Also, I should mention that I'm publishing without an editor so it might get a little ugly.

8:33 p.m. Ok, I may have figured out how this works. Let's go. The girl who played the rebel character in the movie Saved! just introduced Lykke Li.

8:37 p.m. Lykke Li is beating the shit out of a cymbal and playing a kazoo. COLLEGGEEE MUUUUSIIIIC! But seriously she sounds good live. If you like suspiciously adept Scandinavian pop artists she's a good bet.

8:44 p.m. Some guy has joined Lykke Li on stage. Who is it? I feel as if I should know. Shit, everyone is waving their hands and they know who he is! It's a kind of funky song.

8:50 p.m. You know, this event is a lot like college actually. Right now I feel just like I felt during my Natural Science midterm a few weeks ago: I didn't study hard enough, and everyone else seems to know more than I do. It was Q-Tip who came out during Lykke Li's song, by the way. See? Just like in Science I get a C+ in music blogging.

8:55 p.m. Chromeo just won the Left Field Woodie.

8:59 p.m. Haha I'm looking at Drake from Drake and Josh (a Nickelodeon show). He looks bored. The DJ just put on "Paper Planes" and the crowd is loving it. Rest assured that will be the go-to party song of the next three years. I'm eating some french fries that I stole and put in my jacket pocket.

9:05 p.m. Oh, shit, the DJ just Rickrolled us (there's a big screen projecting music videos during the breaks).

9:08 p.m. Moby went to UConn

9:11 p.m. Best Music on Campus Woodie goes to...The Bride Who Wore Black. Emo-types who go to NYU, actually.

9:13 p.m. Mark Fucking Hoppus is on stage, man. I walked very close to him in the free food room and 13-year-old me was very pleased. He's hot these days, I have to say. He's being obnoxious, as usual. Introducing All Time Low. But he's making fun of asymmetrical haircuts, so OK.

9:18 p.m. All Time Low: a decent pop-punk band seven years too late. Ohhh my, they have dancing girls in sparkly bikinis! Things just got a whole lot more like a pro football cheerleading session in here.

9:24 p.m. Ok, they gave away a Breaking Woodie award to There for Tomorrow, whoever they may be.

9:30 p.m. We're in a commercial break, so let's take a minute to reflect on the red carpet. One of my favorite moments was when I talked to the dudes from the All American Rejects about the documentary Okie Noodling (the band is from Oklahoma). I was telling this to my friend on AIM just now and she said something that I think more or less defines my career in music blogging: "You do realize you're the exact person 14-year-olds want to kill. Like that ungrateful, smart ass person that gets to meet emo celebrities and talk bullshit with them."

9:34 p.m. Debbie Harry wearing a heinous wig (oh God, does she have cancer?) introducing Santogold. Santogold lives up to hype—give her a listen. She's currently wearing what looks like an LSU marching band uniform from 1985. It's purple and gold lemme, matching eye shadow. She sounds good live. Everyone so far has been surprisingly up to snuff live and the sound is not half bad in here.

9:41 p.m. Spank Rock is here now in Santogold's set. Do the Woodies just keep him around to terrorize the award show? He was outta hand last year, if I remember correctly.

9:44 p.m. An "internet comedian" is presenting the Good Woodie award (for bands that are charitable or something). The Guy from Jack's Mannequin aka The Guy from Something Corporate won. Ok, ok I admit that I thought he was cute on the red carpet. Weird, squirrely, mustache-having, but endearing. He said he was afraid of the internet, and I respected him for that.

9:50 p.m. Break time at the Roseland Ballroom. Let's talk red carpet. Yes, I did discuss the song "Konstantine" with the guy from Something Corporate (he was a good sport), Santi White of Santogold was really pretty up close, and apparently asymmetrical haircuts are still a thing. I think that's about all you'd need or want to know, really.

10:00 p.m. All American Rejects making boner jokes, promoting their new album, being flippant about this awards show (the nerve!). They're presenting Woodie of the Year. Lil Wayne, MGMT, Paramore, Santogold, and it goes to...Paramore. The dudes in AAR just mooned the audience with Paramore written on their asses. At least I think that's what happened. I looked up and I saw ass. Anyway, Paramore won. The lead singer of AAR made a lurid thrusting motion. You know how it goes.

10:06 p.m. Vampire Weekend performing with Chromeo. Sounds like Vampire Weekend performing without Chromeo at this point. Oh wait, the heavier guy in Chromeo is doing some vocoder action.

10:10 p.m. Vampire Weekend is cute. Maybe that's just my WASP roots talking, but I can't help it. They sound a lot better than they did on SNL. Aaaaand now they're playing A-Punk. Wise choice. The kids are loving it. Music for privileged white people in New York by privileged white people in New York.

10:16 p.m.: It's done. Final thoughts when I get home.

FInal thoughts: This year's show was about the same experience as last year's, though perhaps a little more smoothly run, and with free food! Santogold was my favorite performance, but really everyone sounded decent to genuinely entertaining. It was not a half bad show, though the question remains: who cares? A few people flipping through the channels in dorm rooms will catch it, and I suppose a few who get mtvU on fancy cable, but beyond that the Woodies are relegated to live-blogs and internet photo galleries. And it's almost a shame, too. Despite any crankiness, when I think about it the Woodies are short, reasonably relevant, not too self-serious, and an excuse for shameless erection humor, which is more than any other televised award show can say for itself.

The "TRL" Finale Will Mark The End Of Pop Culture As We Know It

Dan Gibson — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:30:00 EST

We've already mentioned the imminent TV return of Jesse Camp thanks to this Saturday's TRL finale, but somehow this momentous occasion keeps getting bigger and better—so much that the network tacked on another half hour to the program. (Be bold, MTV! Make the TRL finale one of those 24 hour long programs you were so fond of for awhile. Carson Daly, Fred Durst, and Taylor Swift all holed up in your Times Square studio—what's not to like?) MTV has announced that the show will feature a one-time-only (for now) performance by Ludacris, Snoop Dogg and Nelly, as well as music from Beyoncé, 50 Cent, Fall Out Boy, and the Backstreet Boys. Still, perhaps the most exciting announcement is that both Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez are scheduled to appear. We're two-fifths of the way there, MTV—call the other three guys and history will be made! Lance and Chris are probably over that whole "bad dancer" thing by now. [MTV]

Katy Perry Rides A Giant Dildo, Stinks Up The Joint

Lucas Jensen — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:00:00 EST

MTV Europe's European Music Awards, which are currently streaming live on the Web for people off the continent, were prefaced by a Perez Hilton red carpet show and hosted by Katy "I Kissed A Girl" Perry, so yeah, watching it sounds about as fun as ramming nails into my elbows. And to make matters worse, Perry showed up wearing a football uniform—an American football uniform—and riding... something kinda dirty-looking. I think it's supposed to be Katy Perry Brand Cherry ChapStick™, but I'm pretty sure it's also supposed to signal the launch of her new sex toy line. That thing she's riding is not not phallic, if you know what I'm saying. One thing we can be sure of is the importance of AutoTune to Perry's voice, because her performance of her still-kicking hit is completely AutoTune-free. Seriously, we've placed it after the jump so you can steel yourselves before clicking "play."

MTV Europe Music Awards 2008 [MTV.co.uk]
Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl [YouTube]

A Party Affiliation That Pretty Much Anyone Can Get Behind

Maura Johnston — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:00:00 EST

I went to PS 112 in Astoria to vote this morning, and while the school's lobby was bake-sale-free, casting my ballot and walking to the subway put me in a good mood. The sun was shining, the air was crisp, and the promise of not being bombarded with election-related speculation was close on the horizon, at least until some idiot commentator utters the word "2012" while scrambling to fill space on whatever cable-news channel has given him airtime. Which is probably why I had Andrew WK's "Party Hard" in my head: Sure, it was barely after nine in the morning and I was on my way back to work, instead of heading out for the evening, but my heart felt right—like it was enjoying some wine, canapes, and total fucking raging. And isn't that what matters? A counterpoint party song, and a rundown of some notable stories that got lost in the Election Day shuffle, after the jump.

• The most recent Google News alert for "Jarvis Cocker" comes from a Telegraph piece on an auction benefiting the British music-therapy outfit Nordoff-Robbins: "U2 guitarist The Edge paid £15,000 for the Spitting Image puppet of Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker." [Telegraph]
• Scott Weiland's Happy In Galoshes leaked today. I tracked it down, and it took me—I am not kidding—an hour to download the damn thing once I found it. And I was only planning on spending an hour with it in the first place! [Did It Leak]
• Genesis can't dance, nor can they wean themselves from the reunion-show teat: Now they're holding out hope that Peter Gabriel will join them for one more tour of the world. [Billboard]
• The idea that Google is facing off against Dolly Parton in the battle over the wireless spectrum sure seems to contradict the company's longstanding "Don't be evil" policy, no? [NYT]
• If you work at MTV Networks, you may want to brush up your resume. [Gawker]
• Keri Hilson's album has been pushed back for the 143rd time. [Billboard]
• I showed this story on Japanese music producers being arrested on conspiracy and fraud charges to friend-of-Idolator Reed Fischer, and he replied, "Someone in this story is going to get thrown off a balcony." Or option their tale to Jet Li. [Yomiuri Daily Online]

Andrew W.K. - Party Hard [Dailymotion]
Pulp - Party Hard [YouTube]

In The Eyes Of MTV, "Kazaa" Is Now Just As Bad A Word As "Shirt"

Maura Johnston — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 08:53:00 EDT

Who knew that the names of nearly obsolete file-sharing services were considered dirty words by the bigwigs at MTV? Well, "Weird Al" Yankovic does now, thanks to the version of his Bill Plympton-penned video for "Don't Download This Song" that's on MTV's new video-only site MTVMusic.com having the words "Morpheus," "Grokster," "Limewire," and "KaZaA" dropped out of its lyrics. The bigger insult? MTV's online standards and practices department didn't even go the "dropping the vocal track when the offending words hit" route that has turned so many other pop songs into stutterfests—they actually stick in answering-machine-quality BEEPs, so you know something's being blocked from sensitive ears. I think this might be the first time that's ever happened to the stringently PG-rated Yankovic. Yay, Internet? [TechDirt via Artists Paid]

Jesse Camp Returns To TV!

Maura Johnston — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:45:00 EDT

The stars set to appear on the big TRL send-off Nov. 16—which is necessary even though it's only supposed to be temporarily leaving MTV's airwaves—include Beyonce, the Backstreet Boys, Fall Out Boy, 50 Cent, Ludacris, Mariah Carey, Diddy, Snoop Dogg, Taylor Swift, and the Madden brothers. And Fred Durst! Also: "Former TRL VJs Dave Holmes, Jesse Camp, La La Vasquez and Hilarie Burton will also be on hand for the festivities"! No word on whether the Eighth Street Kids will huddle outside 1515 Broadway hoping to be noticed by the cameras that night, but we can all hope. [MTV; HT Dan Gibson]

The Beatles Stand Alone From "Rock Band"

Lucas Jensen — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:00:00 EDT

In case you missed my impromptu live-blogging of the Beatles/MTV/Harmonix press conference: The Beatles catalog has been licensed by MTV and Harmonix for use in a video game that's coming out late next year, and as of right now, the title will be a standalone game that will not bear the Rock Band brand. Harmonix noted its reticence toward doing Rock Band standalone products during the press conference and referred to this product as a "journey" through the Beatles catalog, from Please Please Me to Abbey Road. I guess they are taking it chronologically by recording date. (Or maybe they all just hate Let It Be.)

Harmonix was not willing to say whether the game would be competitive a la Rock Band. Personally, I'm a little worried about this. I don't want one of those dippy '90s David Bowie or Peter Gabriel CD-ROM non-games—I want to rock out with my friends on "She Said, She Said."

As far as remastering of the catalog goes, Giles Martin, son of George and the game's music producer, was a little murky on that, only suggesting that they would adhere to the band's original mixes as much as possible. One assumes that some sort of mastering would need be done to transfer it to the videogame world, particularly given that most games of today operate in 5.1 surround and beyond. Two birds with one stone, right?

Let's just hope the currently developing "journey" turns out as good as this gem:

The Beatles Will Be A Rock Band In "Rock Band"

Lucas Jensen — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:45:00 EDT

In embargoed news that seems to be a secret to nobody, MTV Games will announce in mere minutes that it has licensed the Beatles catalog for use in the Rock Band universe. Now, I can't wait to jam "And Your Bird Can Sing" on my little plastic guitar, but what I'm really excited for is the new mastering jobs that will most likely come with the songs' Rock Band inclusion (think Death Magnetic). So should we expect the iTunes announcement to come down the pike within the next month or so? [MTV]

MTV's New Video Site: Hey, Viacom Is Sort Of Focusing On Music

Maura Johnston — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:00:00 EDT

MTV has soft-launched MTVMusic.com, a music-video-only site where users can browse videos from the channel's massive library—so if you missed, say, VH1 Soul's all-New Jack Swing weekend these past couple of days, you can sort of recreate it on your own with just a few clicks. (I say "sort of" because New Edition's "If It Isn't Love" isn't available yet. Why, Viacom, why?) Those of us who are bloggers/serial "funny music video as comment" message-board denizens will also be thrilled to find out that clips from such YouTube-embedding-averse labels as Universal Music Group are actually available for embedding on non-MTVMusic sites. Whether or not this will last is another matter entirely, but for now, I'm pretty thrilled. And finally, on a typographically geeky note, the house ads totally bring back Kabel Black, the video-chryon font that was dumped when MTV gave up on showing videos in toto during hours when the sun could conceivably be out in the continental US. Yay, videos! [MTV Music]

Times Square Virgin Megastore Plans To Go Out With A Plastic Guitar-Created Bang

Maura Johnston — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:30:00 EDT

The Times Square outpost of the Virgin Megastore is slated to close early next year, thanks to the chain being sold to real estate developers for pretty much the sole purpose of getting the valuable real estate currently occupied by its two New York locations. (Of course, given the cratering economy, the exact value of said space is probably a lot less than it was when the deal was originally brokered back in June.) Perhaps in anticipation of the closure of said store and the almost-full retreat of any mainstream music retailers from the 212, Harmonix and Virgin have announced that they'll be opening a Rock Band 2-themed ministore within Virgin's soon-to-be-corpse, complete with displays that can be described with that old lazy PR buzzword "interactive."

Virgin Megastore Times Square has teamed with MTV Games to help celebrate the special edition release of the popular game Rock Band 2 by creating a pop-up store within a store. The cafe inside the Times Square Virgin Megastore has been transformed into a Rock Band 2 pop-up store, creating 550 feet of space housing a full selection of Rock Band merchandise, interactive kiosks and customized displays. This one of a kind pop-up shop carries a comprehensive selection of Rock Band 2 software, hardware, accessories and Rock Band fashion items. The store includes a mini-performance area where customers can try the game out for themselves.

"The idea was for Virgin Megastores to create something special that would garner attention and showcase the special release of Rock Band 2 in a fun and interactive environment," explains Kevin Milligan, Vice President of Product, Virgin Entertainment Group. "We've been looking for ways to produce extraordinary displays for our partners and that's exactly what we've done here. We have utilized a huge part of our Times Square Megastore to help MTV promote the launch of a very popular game."

And just think, if Vornado doesn't find a tenant to take over the Virgin space—hey, just look at how long Bar Code has been vacant!—the Rock Band 2 area can live on, even in the face of people ceasing to buy albums come Jan. 1, 2009!

Virgin Megastore Times Square Creates 'Pop-Up' Rock Band 2 Store [Music Industry News Network]
Earlier: Virgin Megastore Times Square Closing: Really Big Clearance Sale Set For Early '09
[Photo: minimoniotaku]

Playing Three Instruments At Once Is Totally Metal (Even If One Of Them Is A Kazoo)

Maura Johnston — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:30:00 EDT

Today's TRL ushered in the show's death throes, which they're referring to as its "Final Countdown" before its last broadcast on Nov. 16—only as outgoing VJ Damian Fahey noted, MTV's top brass hadn't thought to use the Europe song of the same name in said promos. Well, perhaps there's still time, in these last 11 episodes of the program, to use the above clip, in which the song is palyed on an instrumental hybrid known as a "KazooKeylele" (caps not mine), to score the show's sad, yet inevitable, denoument. Its ramshackle aesthetics and devotion to using any possible body part for the purposes of metal would be an ideal way to close out MTV's era of user-generated music-video content, don't you think? [Metal Injection / HT Robert P.]

The End Of "TRL": What It Means For MTV Interns, Sbarro, And America

Maura Johnston — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 16:30:00 EDT

As we pointed out in our initial post about the imminent demise of MTV's daily video-countdown/celebrity-clusterfuck hour TRL, there's a sad result for teenaged New York-area fans of artists like the Jonas Brothers, Tokio Hotel, and Flo Rida (pretty sure he still has fans) who were looking for an easy reason to pick a day to cut school: They're now down at least one reason to take a mental health day, at least if they're not into the whole "making stuff up wholesale" sort of thing. But what other unintended consequences will the "hiatus" of TRL bring? Dan and I came up with a few, which are after the jump.

1. The Sbarro on Broadway will probably have to cut back on staff. After all, who's silly enough to eat their "pizza" aside from high school students with underdeveloped palates? (Michael Scott's a fictional character, mind.)

2. O-Town loses its opportunity to reunite solely for the purpose of retiring a second video from the countdown. Now Ashley Parker Angel really has no reason to hang out around Broadway.

3. The dating pool for MTV interns takes a huge hit. Guess you'll have to find your summer flings while waiting in line at the super-fancy cafeteria, kids!

4. Lyndsey Rodrigues may need to learn how to read a teleprompter. Sorry, babe.

5. The number of recent pictures of up-and-coming young musicians on the AP and Getty photo wires is going to plummet. Please trust me when I say that this is a bad, bad thing, especially for me.

5a. We'll never see 50 Cent smile again. See what I mean in No. 5???

6. The Virgin Megastore across the street from MTV's studios will have even less foot traffic now. So much for it staying open through February 2009, I guess!

7. Speaking of things staying open, is it a coincidence that this announcement happened to be the same day that the crap was hitting the A/C vent at Lehman Brothers, which has (had?) a garish, ticker-festooned headquarters right down the street? Oh, America.

Come Back, Pete Wentz... We Need You

Dan Gibson — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 11:45:00 EDT

As Chris Molanphy mentioned in today's TRL post, the overnight block of videos on MTV seems to have disappeared from the channel's schedule. As part of our endless commitment to using the power of statistics to figure out just what the heck is going on at 1515 Broadway, we looked at MTV's video-airplay statistics to figure out if the channel was completely devoid of music, or if it just seemed that way.

Looking back at the airplay statistics since Sept. 8—when we were subjected to Katy Perry's rendition of "Like A Virgin" for the very first time—the snippets of videos shown on TRL have been the only "music video"-related content on the station, with the exception of one late-Tuesday airing of the new Cassie video. (Which was probably an operator error.) So, when the music video was apparently "back" during the first run of FNMTV—which is apparently coming back later this fall—that statement must have meant "the video is back, at least while we're waiting for new episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge to emerge from the editing bay."

(Before someone feels to need to make the comment, I'm aware they haven't been in the "music" business for awhile. I just miss that they used to at least pretend for an hour or so that they were.)

MTV [Official site]

End Of "TRL" Strips Excuse To Skip School From Thousands Of Jonas Brothers Fans

Maura Johnston — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 09:00:00 EDT

MTV announced yesterday that the four-days-weekly hodgepodge of celebrity appearances, screaming teenagers, and music-video snippets known as TRL would be going off the air after a 10-year run this fall, although the show's executive producer took great pains to say that this was only a "break," and not an out-and-out cancellation. Because hey, bringing it back in two years or so would make it seem positively retro to the core demographic, right? (It's probably worth noting that there are no episodes scheduled this week; MTV has given over the show's timeslot today to reruns of its male-makeover series From G's To Gents.) The show, which was rumored to be on the chopping block for a while, will be ~~given a funeral~~ celebrated in a two-hour special on a Saturday in November.

Inexplicably, the AP (or, who knows, maybe MTV's people) dragged an old-timey TRL mainstay out of hiding in order to comment on this cancellation:

In a statement, Eminem said: "I'm going to miss `TRL.' ... Where else will I be able to start feuds, defend my honor vigorously and act like an angry teenager on national TV? Oh wait ... The VMAs!"

How many TRL fans do you think heard that quote and didn't quite understand who was saying it, and why that person would be anywhere near the VMAs? I'm guessing more than a few. Em, you may want to pen a few disses of Tokio Hotel and the Jonas Brothers, so as to keep your game up...

RIP, TRL: 'Total Request Live' ending in November [AP]

Courtney Love Explains Why She Didn't Brighten Up My Red-Carpet Experience

Maura Johnston — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:00:00 EDT

I was sad that Courtney Love didn't show up to the Video Music Awards' red carpet as promised, because I would have loved to hear her take on some of the "luminaries" in attendance (cough cough, Joe Francis, cough cough). But at least her just-blogged excuse note for the evening makes (relative) sense: "theyre not the "VMAS" and they never will be again - i had ZERO desire to watch let alone go and thats one of my very favourite people ive ever known or had the honour of being friends and fiends with hosting it so i feel horribly rude that my desire not to watch assholes with chastity rings- oh for fucks sake ive had some great conversations but not ONE has ever ended in an Orgasm, y'all need some pussy and some cock and shut the hell up.." Now see, wouldn't she have proven a great foil to Jordin Sparks? More after the jump!

i love when a friend does well and Russell appears to have done quite well- ist not exactltya fucking rock fest at mtv its...... "date my mom" remember- and it will never revert back to reliably rock n roll- its just the economiclevel of thier decision marketing wise to "grow with thier audience"" aka save mass money on shows by just predating on peoples insane desire and frenzy to be on insanely dysfunction al reality shows for free.

Given that the first hour of my red-carpet experience was spent watching luminaries from The Real World and lesser MTV shows fameball right by me, I'm wondering if she'd want to be our Very Special Red-Carpet correspondent next year. At the very least, she'd have better questions to ask people than the ones I came up with—especially if MTV gets the idea to invite people from its brand-new Cops ripoff to show off their stuff. I should get to work on this now, shouldn't I?

how was russell? [Courtney Love's MySpace Blog]

VMA Wrapups Reveal That This Year's Ceremony Didn't Really Have A Big Watercooler Moment

Maura Johnston — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 10:00:00 EDT

From time to time, we like to round up the all-important, all-summarizing last sentences of the biggest new-music reviews. After the jump, we look at other publications' reactions to last night's Video Music Awards, the "meh"-ness of which we are still trying to process.

• "Britney bombs a year ago (although that opening was infinitely more entertaining than the one she did this time) and gets rewarded for it. Hooray for her. But you know what? MTV is just as far up its own ass as any pop star if it thinks that giving out three meaningless statues to Britney Spears constitutes a comeback for her. You all deserve each other." [fourfour]

• "Looking in the past is something MTV never did well. Even when the present doesn't look so good." [Hartford Courant]

• "Of course not everyone who doesn't wear a promise ring is slutty. And that's the problem with the current culture wars: When it comes to rhetoric, there's no middle ground. Either you're a slut or a hopeless prude, and I'd venture to say that most people fall healthily in between. But choice of wording aside, I'm still mightily impressed with Jordin for standing up to the sex-sells music establishment. She's not your typical pop starlet, and I love her for it." [Boston Globe]

• "I'm pretty curious to see how this all translates to television, but from where I'm sitting it was...something. Thanks for hanging out with me, and sorry for the unexpected interruption. Now I'm gonna go drink myself into a stupor and try to take The Jonas Brothers' virginity. Good night!" [Best Week Ever]

• [Something I didn't get to because the VMA wrapup was a 20-page gallery. Guys, I know the importance of maximizing your clickthroughs—and your "turn everything into a gallery" strategy is sort of working right now—but sooner or later, your piss-poor information design is going to bite you in the ass.] [LAT]

Live-Blogging The 2008 Video Music Awards: No Britney, No Peace

Maura Johnston — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 19:45:08 EDT

Oh HI! It's dickdogfood. I welcome you to Idolator's liveblog of the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. Now before I became a quasi-anonymous commentator legend, I was known as Michael Daddino. (I still am, in certain obscure circles.) Once, during that long-gone era, I watched 24 hours of MTV and wrote about it on the internet in real-time; thus the concept of the liveblog was forged in the smithy of my soul. And today I return to my old stomping grounds, all Proverbs 26:11-style, to point and laugh at...well, what's it going to be today, kiddies? What's it gonna be? Contrite Britney? Egotasmic Kanye? The JoBros making their inevitable Fleet Foxes move? Nickleodeon crossovers? Candidate cameos? Overrehearsed spontaneity? Underwhelming medleys? Regrettable covers? A smidge of actual entertainment? Yes, we are likely to get them all: the stars will it so. The handwringing and the laughter begin after the jump.

7:50 p.m. Hey NeverEnough, I actually saw the 1st VMAs back in 1984 (I voted for ALL FIVE people's choice award nominees), and that alone earns me a free pass on the Logan's Run merry-go-round of death.

7:55 p.m. Thankfully we're going to have an appearance by Michael Phelps tonight—somebody with a freakish body-part below the neck for a change of pace.

8:02 p.m. How out-of-the-loop am I? On the screen is Lauren Conrad. Initially I thought she was Tila Tequila.

8:05 p.m. I think Taylor Swift just said this was her first CMAs ever.

8:07 p.m. I'm not sure what the helicopter adds to anything other than MTV's bills. Certainly they don't make the interviews seem more lively.

8:09 p.m. Bill Kaulitz' hair puts John Norris' into horrifying relief. Beware, Bill—this could happen to you!

8:12 p.m. I hope Tokio Hotel win something, though. Cute German accents!

8:15 p.m. T-Pain's elephantine and krump-soaked red carpet entrance is the one to beat for tonight. Surely right now Kanye just nervously ordered sperm whales for his.

8:18 p.m. Ha, I bet Sway's helicopter isn't even off the ground.

8:21 p.m. Oh, finally I get to see Microft's shoe commercial.

8:24 p.m. The live-via-helicopter Panic at the Disco interview cannot hide the fact that industry events probably bore musicians senseless, even with road games.

8:28 p.m. Taylor, Katy, and Miley: just kiss each other already, gawd.

8:28 Huh, I vaugely imagined Kid Rock was some kind of rap-hater. This promised duet-thing with Lil Wayne smacks of the rather played-out OMG TOTALLY UNEXPECTED demographic mash-up games MTV has been foisting on the VMAs since at least Busta Rhymes and Martha Stewart presented an award together way way way back when.

8:33 This British presenter—not sure who he is—along with Russell Brand may herald a new attempt by MTV to position all things from the other side of the puddle as "cool."

8:36 p.m. Some kind of...dance-off...thing. It only makes me sad that they soundtrack one dance with Ne-Yo, because Ne-Yo's not here and I'd totally rather see him tonight than about 80% of the acts that'll appear.

8:38 p.m. I don't actually believe Sway's helicopter is in the air and I don't actually believe the car they're filming has the Jonas Brothers and I don't actually believe that's the Jonas Brothers speaking and not some self-aware Autotune plug-in.

8:42 p.m. A new Pepsi commercial soundtracked by "What Is Love?" Sure, he was a one-hit wonder—but by now, Haddaway's royalties probably make him richer than Chris Kattan.

8:44 p.m. Christina Aguilera is supposedly singing "Genie in the Bottle" with some kind of surprise arrangement tonight. If she does this with the Strokes—or the Strokes manqué—it will be admirable but seven years too late, and seven years is like a whole generation in rock.

8:46 p.m. Slipknot, wearing their dads' ties unironically.

8:47 p.m. Perhaps like you, I spent the afternoon wondering what Britney's gonna say tonight. I was hoping she'd be onstage in a big comfy chair, and give a little confessional and low-key speech with a few jokes and apologies thrown in. Eventually I realized I was that close to writing fan-fic. But then again, so many op-ed columnists do essentially the same thing when they write here's-what-Obama/McCain-SHOULD-say-in-tonight's-speech columns.

8:50 p.m. I'd also rather see Ashlee perform tonight than 80% of the other folks, too.

8:53 p.m. Hairspray doesn't cause global warming (anymore), Paramore lady!

8:55 p.m. Oh Oh Oh! I forgot to mention that Maura Johnston is supposed to be on the red carpet tonight! I haven't seen her since, you know, I've furiously typing nonsense for the last hour.

8:57 p.m. Taco Bell's Frutista. Finally, a fruit smoothie for Fulgencio Batista.

8:58 p.m. I honestly and stupidly wish Benji and Paris really do love each other and will stay married forever.

9:00 p.m. OK, good, this is good. Britney starts with comedy, one of her strong suits.

9:02 p.m. And she's wearing a nice, fitting dress. Quite sexy. All the right notes so far.

9:04 p.m.The 25th anniversary? Wait, 2008 minus 25 is...um...wait.

9:05 p.m. Wow, amazingly SMALL audience for tonight!

9:06 p.m. So she goes for a big giant Goth wedding cake this year. Is there any context Rihanna wouldn't look good in?

9:09 p.m. So that was it for Britney? Everybody's gonna be disappointed. They even had Britney in the bus ads in New York City and all they give us is a pre-taped comedy short!

9:12 p.m. Russell Brand: mentioning the RNC convention so you know the jokes are fresh.

9:14 p.m. Oh wow wow wow Brand goes from the partisan to the utterly tasteless (Joe Jackson's belt), dude's gonna be roasted tomorrow.

9:16 p.m. So after that monologue, I think it's safe to say Obama nor McCain won't be giving a little speech to TEH KIDZ tonight.

9:17 p.m. The length of Foxx's little bit suggests some serious last-minute padding was needed.

9:18 p.m. Are they gonna seriously punk Britney or Mariah this year?

9:19 p.m. Well, no missteps tonight, Brit. But is that all we can expect from you?

9:21 p.m. That thing with Lauren and Spencer was beyond all comprehension. I was typing something and all of sudden Spencer was doing this rhyming stuff and I was scared and wanted somebody to hold me. COINTREAU TIME!

9:25 p.m. I am glad I got the right answer for the bit of VMA trivia they're flashing during the commercial. It makes me feel smart. Madonna has performed more times on the VMAs than any other performer. Honestly, who would've guessed?

9:27 p.m. There are 13 awards, with six having been handed out before 9, leaving seven awards in 2.25 hours. That calls for a LOT of padding.

9:28 p.m. Demi Moore is one of these people from The Hills, I take it. She's obviously a new-comer because she doesn't enough to keep the mike from blocking her face.

9:30 p.m. I can tell why the Jonas Brothers chose this fake-NYC stoop acoustic set-up for this performance—it shows they can really play their instruments, and by sitting down, it minimizes Joe's chance to fall.

9:33 p.m. I don't think I hate the Jonas Brothers, but the dealbreaker is their voices, which is way too neotenic for my tastes: the incomplete whines, cracks, high-pitchedness. Pleasingly overwrought arrangement of "Lovebug" here, though.

9:35 p.m. Katy Perry's version of "Like A Virgin": farce, right?

9:39 p.m. Because Russell Brand was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, you see, that's why the DVD is advertised tonight. SYNERGY.

9:40 p.m. If that's all we're going to get of "I Kissed a Girl" tonight, then bravo, MTV, that's an unexpected show of good sense.

9:41 p.m. I sense there's a bright young superstar athlete who won't be making any acting turns any time soon.

9:43 p.m. Lil Wayne should be pretty fucking significant enough to not have to stand for being trapped in a medley with Leona Lewis.

9:44 p.m. So what does the hanky code say about wearing a red shirt in your right back pocket? Seriously, though, this is pretty fucking hot, though.

9:46 p.m. Lil Wayne should be pretty fucking significant enough to not have to stand for being trapped in a medley with T-Pain.

9:47 p.m. Oh, Lindsay: so cute with the androgyne tux shirt! AC/DC, LOL!

9:48 p.m. Ha, about half of the Danity Kane video has them lying down. Still, miles ahead better than that CLUNKY Pussycat Dolls track and video.

9:49 p.m. And then they all lezzed up! (cf. ye olde ILx meme, can't resist, sorry.)

9:53 p.m. Chris Brown: shill for Wrigley. I wouldn't mind quite so much if he OWNED it, you know? If he didn't look so damned sheepish in the Wrigley photo ops.

9:56 p.m. Hey kids, do what I did back at the first VMAs in 1984: completely negate your impact by voting for all people's choice nominees.

9:59 PLEASE DON'T TOUCH YOUR LADYPARTS, PARAMORE SINGER PERSON!

10:00 (Would I be grossed out or amused if Joe Jonas touched his ladyparts onstage, though? Hmm.)

10:06 p.m. It's a good sign that so far the most DO NOT WANT MOMENT so far has been the Vince Vaughn romantic comedy ad.

10:08 p.m. All right, Russell Brand. So you want to fuck the Jonas Brothers like every red-blooded American male, WE GET IT.

10:09 Slash: also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs.

10:12 Someday we'll all look at this Miley Cyrus/Bill Kaulitz Rock band 2 in-show ad with the same cringing fascination as Bette Midler and Dan Akroyd's dancing in astronaut outfits back in '84.

10:14 p.m. Amazingly, P!nk is now one of the more experienced musicians onstage tonight...and man, with the blaring and overdone "rock" sound of her band, it feels like it.

10:17 p.m. What's awkward about the Rock Band 2 skit is that software isn't the thing that MTV best shills for. What MTV excels at shilling is itself.

10:21 p.m. Oh, I was hoping they'd show the Ting Tings' video with all the endless corridor of magic vaginas.

10:23 p.m. Russell, shut the fuck. UP. Pete and Ashlee are way cuter than you! Go away Russell!

10:24 p.m. Slipknot onstage...with someone in a mask who doesn't belong! Another attempt at OMG SURPRISE fizzles into pools of regret and tears. That's the "McLovin" guy, right?

10:26 p.m. Ha ha ha Jordin Sparks gives a dig at Brand. And here's John Legend, more taste than charisma, which is not always an aesthetic liability but here, it's eh.

10:28 p.m. I want more set pieces on this show! A video awards show should theoretically have performances that are more like video performances, right? Maybe?

10:32 p.m. Rihanna looking like...P!nk. Without the pink. Sunglasses are a bad idea at these things: surely I can't be the only person who thinks "reading cue cards" when they see them on live TV.

10:33 p.m. What does it say about the zeitgeist when tonight there have been two commercials—one for Christina Aguilera's perfume, the other for Rhapsody—with magic bubbles?

10:35 p.m. I am faintly pleased that LL Cool J is now mainstream enough—or the mainstream is now hip-hop enough—to get his own line of clothes at Sears.

10:39 p.m. Well, Christina doesn't go the superobvious Strokes route for "Genie in a Bottle," instead doing something a little more, ah, Eurythmic-y. Good for her! Kinda hot. And is that schaffel I hear? Why yes, a bit of a cliché, but always appreciated.

10:41 p.m. I think everybody's going to point out that Christina's routine is exactly the type of thing Britney could be doing these days, but won't—or can't.

10:42 p.m. OH GOD. Brand's "piss-off"/"piss on" R. Kelly joke is maybe the most tasteless thing I can remember the VMAs doing in recent memory.

10:43 p.m. The cute German guys with the cute German accents—Bill giggles like a girl, so charmante—won!

10:45 p.m. Bill Cantiello is a cute ~~douche~~ dude with awesome hair. Sorry I can't phrase that with more panache, but...oh look, a huge distracting thing! [Regretful morning-after edit: I apologize Mr. Cantiello, that was dumb and mean of me.]

10:48 p.m. PEOPLE, THIS IS IMPORTANT: if you want to follow along with the comments go to feed://idolator.com/comments.xml — we're not sure why they're not showing up.

10:51 p.m. So yes, again: the comments are at feed://idolator.com/comments.xml

Paris is less together than Britney tonight!

10:52 p.m. Any word on who Britney just hugged?

10:55 p.m. Oh hi everyone! Still here, just bitching offline for a sec. Wait, Tag Body Spray has a record label?

10:58 p.m. Hey, if you're still interesting in making comments or some such, GO HERE: http://idolator.com/400992/temporary-vma-comments-thread

11:00 p.m. Oooh, depressingly unsmooth hip-hop punch-in in this Kid Rock performance.

11:03 p.m. Now WTF was I thinking when I said Kid Rock was a hip-hop hater earlier? Kinda forgot like MOST OF HIS CAREER there!

11:05 p.m. Kid's song, though. Ergh. I like him, but he's finally hit upon something as uninspired as Uncle Kracker's "Drift Away" cover. He's...he's the American Oasis now.

11:09 p.m. Adam Corrolla: once again trying to save Male America from food fagginess. FECK IM.

11:05 p.m. Kanye's got five minutes (+/- a few) to save the world.

11:12 p.m. Brit does a hat trick. Seems very obvious in retrospect, doesn't it?

11:15 p.m. Look, it's Kanye! Attractive song (new?), but it seems very straight R&B for him. On the other hand, "I love you when I want to" is a good, self-loathing lyric.

11:19 p.m. And now we get into the credits and more interminable Russell Brand ad-libbing.

11:21 Suprisingly tasteful suit for Perez there. Seriously, I'm a ho for plaid and plaid suits are gonna be hot this year, I hear. Bill Kaulitz: thin, gawky, pale—even Kompakt doesn't have a more adorable German than he.

11:23 p.m. Maura (or Pareene) should be standing where Perez is now! NO JUSTICE NO PEACE!

11:28 p.m. I could part with some reflective words on what we've just seen tonight, but I have temporarily lost all ability to reflect on the past, which I think is just the way MTV likes it. With that, I bid you adieu.

Get Excited: It's The List Of Video Music Awards Winners!

Maura Johnston — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 19:43:00 EDT

Sure, in the long run, "which artists had to take moonmen home from tonight's Video Music Awards ceremony" is probably a meaningless statistic on the level of, say, "almost-no-hitters in Mets history," but admit it, you want to know if Paramore beat out Fall Out Boy or if both of them got robbed by Linkin Park I MEAN COME ON YOU GUYS—uh, I mean, full list of winners after the jump.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR
Britney Spears, "Piece of Me"

BEST MALE VIDEO
Chris Brown, "With You"

BEST FEMALE VIDEO
Britney Spears, "Piece of Me"

BEST NEW ARTIST
Tokio Hotel, "Ready, Set, Go!"

BEST POP VIDEO
Britney Spears, "Piece of Me"

BEST ROCK VIDEO
Linkin Park, "Shadow of the Day"

BEST HIP-HOP VIDEO
Lil Wayne (featuring Static Major), "Lollipop"

BEST DANCING IN A VIDEO
Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up"

BEST ART DIRECTION
Gnarls Barkley, "Run"

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Gnarls Barkley, "Run"

BEST DIRECTING
Erykah Badu, "Honey"

BEST EDITING
Death Cab For Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart"

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The White Stripes, "Conquest"

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS
Kanye West, "Good Life"

Since MTV's Video Music Awards-related Twitter ...

Maura Johnston — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:30:00 EDT

Since MTV's Video Music Awards-related Twitter feed has lain dormant for the past seven months, I've decided to pick up the slack—and get you all ready for our liveblog, which starts at 8 p.m. ET— by updating Idolator's account on the microblogging service with notes from the red carpet. Whether or not AT&T's network will look kindly on this experiment in liver-the-liveblogging is up in the air, but hey, that's part of the fun of "experimentation," right? [Twitter]

The Video Music Awards: They're Coming! Get Ready!

Maura Johnston — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:00:00 EDT

We have about 52ish hours until Britney Spears trades on her recent notoriety to open the 25th-anniversary installment of MTV's Video Music Awards, and like last year, you are all invited to watch with Idolator as we break down the goings-on—and, maybe, break down—in real time. So do come back at 8 p.m. ET for the pregame show and the live broadcast, which starts at 9! Sadly, I will not be handling live-blogging duties as a) I was only given a red-carpet pass, and not access to watch the broadcast being simulcast; and b) even if I did high-tail it back to my hotel room really really fast, the damn thing doesn't air on the West Coast until 9 p.m. PT. But I've handed over the task to someone who's more than capable: Our own Dickdogfood, who pioneered the art of the MTV liveblog all the way back in 2001, which is like forever ago in Internet time.

As I've alluded to in a few posts, I spent part of yesterday afternoon on the Paramount Studios lot, where Sunday's show is taking place, and where a preview of sorts was given to the press. Russell Brand hosted and his all-tangents brand of comedy had me in stitches, I have to be honest. I watched Kid Rock perform ~~"Werewolves Of Alabama"~~ "All Summer Long" while wearing pedicure slippers, and I even danced a little bit, thanks to the cajoling of a pal. (And I was not ashamed, because, well, fuck it.) I saw T.I. descend a fire escape. I realized that Xtina is xtiny. I felt a little part of me shrivel up and die when I heard that Katy Perry would be re-creating Madonna's performance of "Like A Virgin," a performance that was already re-created some five years or so ago by performers who, even though they've had their share of issues over the years, can still wipe the floor with the ex-Christian warbler. I found out that Kanye West's "boycott" of the VMAs didn't even last long enough for one installment of the show to happen. (He's closing Sunday night's festivities.) I wondered whether or not, given the number of non-music-related celebrities on the roster of presenters, Sarah Palin and/or Barack Obama had been invited. I got sunburned.

When I got back, I found out that the technical awards had already been announced. Why this wasn't done while the press gaggle was assembled is beyond me; chalk my confusion up to Why I Work In Editorial Part Eleventy Bazillion. The winners:

BEST ART DIRECTION
Gnarls Barkley, "Run"

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY
Gnarls Barkley, "Run"

BEST DIRECTING
Erykah Badu, "Honey"

BEST EDITING
Death Cab For Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart"

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The White Stripes, "Conquest"

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS
Kanye West, "Good Life"

Not a Pussycat Dolls victory among them! And the PCDs haven't been announced as performers or anything yet, either, which leads me to believe that the only thing they'll be taking home Sunday night is a goose egg.

Anyway, come back Sunday for our coverage! And feel free to conjure up your own dream VMA scenario here.

2008 Video Music Awards Nominations

Los Angeles "Times" Writers' Wits Fall Victim To The Power Of Scherzinger

Dan Gibson — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:00:00 EDT

For better or worse, no one covers the innumerable amount of awards given to producers of cultural product than the Los Angeles Times, and this weekend, two of their bloggers made their predictions for Video Of The Year award at this Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards. However, some sort of gas must have been leaking into the Times' cubicle farm that day, since both of them picked the Pussycat Dolls' scaffolding-happy clip for "When I Grow Up" to pick up the top prize.

Sure, the nominees this year aren't terribly exciting, but still, this particular Pussycat Dolls video? (Note: The last time the public got to vote in this process, in 2006, the then-exclamation-pointed Panic! At The Disco won with "I Write Sins not Tragedies.") Here's how the Times experts call the race:

Darrin "DoubleD" Dortch:

1) Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grow Up"
2) Chris Brown, "Forever"
3) Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up"
4) Britney Spears, "Piece of Me"
5) The Ting Tings, "Shut Up and Let Me Go"

David "Guru" Schnelwar:

1) Pussycat Dolls, "When I Grown Up"
2) Chris Brown, "Forever"
3) Britney Spears, "Piece of Me"
4) The Ting Tings, "Shut Up and Let Me Go"
5) Jonas Brothers, "Burnin' Up"

Both predictors admit that the best video doesn't always win (unless you consider "Waterfalls" to be superior to "Buddy Holly" in some manner), but still, what's going on here? Why is the video apparently such an artistic breakthrough that the mysterious panel of experts that picks the nominees for the awards' professional categories for needed to drop another four nominations into the Dolls' lingerie-clad laps? The legions of JoBros fans can't tip this one for "Burnin' Up"? Frankly, if the Pussycat Dolls pull off some sort of sweep, someone should check on Maura afterwards.

On a related note, I really miss the International Viewer's Choice award, last given out in 2003. Who can forget the joy we shared when Rise with Spread Beaver took the MTV Japan award in 1999 for "Pink Spider", after the tragic death of singer Hideto Matsumoto? Instead, we'll just get reaction shots of Nicole Scherzinger all night. Life can be so unfair.

MTV Video Music Awards: Pussycat Dolls will beat Britney Spears and the Jonas Brothers for top prize [LA Times]

The Video Music Awards Are Ready To Crank Dat

Maura Johnston — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:30:00 EDT

The kids from High School Musical, the continually overrated Scarlett Johansson, and the guy who played McLovin' have been added to the Video Music Awards' lineup of presenters. In addition, "famous" knob-twiddler DJ AM and TMZ staple Travis Barker will do that thing where Barker plays a drum part along with a popular song; they'll be accompanying the likes of the Ting Tings, T-Pain, and Katy Perry. I guess one year is the precise amount of time for something to develop from "somewhat amusing YouTube sensation" to "co-opted by the NFL" to "appropriate fodder for the Video Music Awards." [antiMUSIC]