...to be honest, i don't know much about hip hop. i like to dance to it but i can't remember ever listening to the lyrics. well, jay-z is like the beatles of rap so i figured i'd give it a shot. especially cause it was free and i was sitting on the stage about 18 inches from jay-z the entire hour he performed. crazy.

also crazy was paris hilton who was sitting next to me the whole night. seriously, next to me, like our legs were touching for a good 5 hours. now don't get the wrong idea. she never once said hello, nor even looked in my direction. five hours. and it was unreal to watch. she must have pulled a compact out of her bag every 6 minutes to stare at herself and pose, while jay-z was performing 18 inches from us.

so high-larious. then the best part: after jay-z was finished (by the way, he was introduced to the crowd by michael "let's get ready to rumble" buffer) jay-z left the stage and paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from the grey goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her "record" on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs. she gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves. note this: she was unable to successfully mouth words that someone else wrote for her. i find the music business charming.

Sounds dreadful. But we can relate: We threw up at the "Jay-Z is the Beatles of hip-hop" line.

Joshua Radin's MySpace Bulletin [MySpace, via Notorious K.A.T. 's MySpace page]

Exclusive: Paris' Grueling Pre-DUI Music Video Shoot [TMZ]
Great Moments in Synergy: Paris Hilton Arrested For DUI [Gawker]

Review: Paris Hilton, "Paris" [Le Monde de Aidin Vaziri]

"Banksy strikes Paris debut" [itv.co.uk]
"Banksy vs Paris" [Flickr, NSFW]
"Banksy vs. Paris Hilton altered CD/Art Piece RARE" [ebay.co.uk]

Not exactly. While we won't have confirmed numbers until later in the afternoon, the fact that Hilton came even close to the 75,000 mark is pretty astounding. Sure, industry watchdogs will point out that just about anyone can make it to the Top 10 with an ample marketing budgeting these days, and that next week's sales will probably experience an unholy drop-off, and that these are the sort of high-cost, low-payoff projects that are killing the majors. But look at it this way: A woman whose only prior music experience was dating a second-tier Backstreet Boy—and whose curiosity-object album could easily have been downloaded for free—still sold more copies in its first week than the last Slayer and Obie Trice efforts, and came close to beating Johnny Cash's American V debut. The lesson here: If you really want to get people out to the stores, make sure you get them a TV gig in which they can give handjobs to farm animals.

"Hilton's CD Is Instant Tanker" [Page Six]

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have run afoul of the authorities in Tokyo and India, respectively. Terming an advertising poster depicting a nude and very pregnant Ms. Spears "too stimulating" for young people, Tokyo's subway system has refused permission for its display in a station in a trendy part of the city, Reuters reported... Paris Hilton's new music video, "Stars Are Blind," has received an "Adult" certification from India's Central Board of Film Certification, meaning it cannot be shown on television.

Okay, Paris being banned in India makes sense (if there's one thing that Hindus, Muslims and Sikhs all agree upon, it's that she should have stuck with one consistent sound, rather than rounding up a who's-who of big-name modern producers; they feel very strongly about this). But how an overly airbrushed Britney could be deemed offensive—or, at this point, stimulating—by the Japanese is beyond us. After all, this is a culture that embraces Mr. Big, Gremlins 2, and loonily sexed-up, tentacles-intensive anime.

"Arts, Briefly" [NY Times]