The latest pitchman for John Varvatos, the clothing designer whose tony, vinyl-filled shop replaced CBGB: Perry Farrell, who's strategically posed in front of the "Joey Ramone Place" street sign. I suppose it's a good thing that Varvatos didn't let Farrell art direct the ad, though.

Perry Farrell is the latest headliner added to the John Varvatos "I Desperately Wish I Was A Rock Star" Ad Tour. [copyranter]

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It wasn't like the editors of AmPhoto were batting around ideas when they came up with the music-and-photos concept—the whole issue is sponsored by Nikon, as part of their "Visions of Rock" exhibit, where you can bask in the glory of the images within.

The photos themselves vary in quality. Graham Nash, Bryan Adams (no, really), Jakob Dylan, Andy Summers (the lone place where he can be free of Sting) and Lou Reed combine excellent technique with a wide variety of subject matter—fellow musicians, royalty, street life and more—and manage to make it engaging. They're not making up superficial excuses to mask sub-par quality of their work, which is what the other participants are doing. In fact, if I was rich, I'd wager that some musicians' assistants took their photographs. (Michael Stipe, did you steal Sasha Frere-Jones' broken hard drive?)

And what kind of glitzy, attention-grabbing issue would this be without some bragging about—I mean, discussion of—expensive gear? Let the eye-glazing begin: Lou Reed brags about splurging on an expensive lens and wearing it around his neck. Yes, Lou, I'm aware it's called barium crown glass, but if I see that Contax lens dangling around your neck like one of Flavor Flav's clocks, I'm yanking it off. Adams name-drops late photographer Herb Ritts (a.k.a. the guy who made all those Chris Issak videos look awesome). Former Hole/Smashing Pumpkins bassist Melissa Auf Der Maur explains how she rigs her shutter release on guitar pedals to photograph while playing. A neat concept, sure, but the "WomynsFest2k7" vibe given off by the photo is just too much to handle. It's safe to say, though, that she's light years ahead of Perry Farrell, whose photographs look like outtakes from his Satellite Party-inspired Photoshop doodles.

Visions of Rock [American Photo]

Farrell told Launch that the idea came to him after JANE'S ADDICTION began falling apart while guitarist Dave Navarro started hosting the "Rock Star" reality series. "My band broke up basically over reality TV, and I just couldn't believe it," he said. "So I thought, like, rock and roll has never been about kissing ass and a contest. You know, rock and roll is self-expression. It's defiance. It's freedom. So I started to write about a group of people, they call themselves the Solutionists, that take matters into their own hands in this do-it-yourself world where basically the media has given up on the future."

Honestly, we're still confused over why Navarro's involvement in 'Til Death Do Us Part didn't serve as a dealbreaker for Farrell. After all, wasn't the Dave-Carmen reality series just a take on The Gift that had an actual narrative structure? Or is Perry more offended by the possibility of being associated with post-Hutchence INXS than he is by being ripped off wholesale?

PERRY FARRELL Says DAVE NAVARRO's 'Rock Star' TV Show Caused JANE'S ADDICTION Split [Blabbermouth]

We had to post about the first video from Satellite Party, the Perry Farrell project in which the former Jane's Addiction frontman flaunts his ability to entice a motley crew of guests, if only because of the split-second shot around 30 seconds in, where guitarist Nuno Bettencourt looks like he's on the verge of turning into Glenn Danzig (perhaps in the follow-up clip, he'll sprout a pair of "Her Black Wings"). Is this the dark side of going green coming to light?

Satellite Party "Wish Upon A Dogstar" [YouTube]
PERRY FARRELL's SATELLITE PARTY Goes Green [Blabbermouth]

[Photo: Wenn Photo Libray]

First Nuno, now this: Mr. and Mrs. Farrell hang out with Mr. and Mrs. Slash last night in Las Vegas. Who'll be the next to fall under Persuasive Perry's spell? Has anyone seen Tracii Guns lately?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Blending sounds as varied as rock, electro, urban beats and symphony, Farrell enlisted guitar virtuoso Nuno Bettencourt with new musicians Kevin Figueiredo on drums, Etty Lau Farrell on background vocals and Carl Restivo on bass. The album, produced by Farrell, co-produced by Nuno Bettencourt and executive produced by Steve Lillywhite, features a host of guests participating in the recording, including The Red Hot Chili Peppers' Flea and John Frusciante, UK production duo/beat-makers Hybrid, New Order/Joy Division bassist Peter Hook, down tempo pioneers Thievery Corporation, Porno for Pyros' guitarist Peter DiStefano, Black Eyed Pea's Fergie, film composer Harry Gregson-Williams (Chronicles of Narnia, Kingdom of Heaven), and a 30-piece orchestra.

One of the album's highlights features an unreleased Jim Morrison vocal track, the first unheard Morrison performance in almost 30 years. Entitled "Woman In The Window," Morrison sings against a backdrop of Farrell's music, "Just try and stop us, we're going to love" before the song culminates with an elegant piano outro. Farrell calls the track the mantra of The Solutionists. Other tracks include "Wish Upon A Dog Star," which is also the album's first single, "Kinky," and "Celebrate," a Sly Stone-like groove marrying calypso and disco. Farrell also shows his softer side on the tender "Awesome," written about seeing the world from the heavens, which marries David Bowie-esque vocals with the understated beauty of Nick Drake.

Really, the name-drops came so fast, we thought for a second that "Dog Star" meant that Perry had convinced Keanu Reeves to pick up a bass again. Alas, it wasn't meant to be.

Perry Farrell Announces Groundbreaking New Musical Project Satellite Party [PR Newswire, via ILM]

Then came the 21st century, which brought a weak reunion tour, an even weaker reunion album, and all sorts of BS that Jane's fans were forced to endure. And now, according to AOL news, he's dug up the still-pretentious corpse of Jim Morrison, using a previously unknown vocal track from the Doors singer for a song with Farrell's new, sure-to-be-terrible band Satellite Party:

Now, the $64,000 question: Where did this track (and 'The Vast Visitation of Energy,' another Satellite Party song that features Morrison) come from? As previously reported, the tapes came from a healer in Israel, who contacted Farrell and implored him to co-produce the tracks. While the song features poetic imagery, Farrell says he adapted the vocals to fit the music. "I want this to be on the radio," he says.

Lord help us, this could be the least desirable posthumous team-up since Tupac met Bruce Hornsby out on the range. If Farell's quasi-new age kick is the result of fifteen years of drug use, we're going home and throwing away all of our Dimetapp.

"Perry Farrell Resurrects Jim Morrison" [AOL Music Blog]