I ask her what her next album will be like. "Same stuff as my last album but with some ska." Have you started recording it yet? "It's not so much about recording, it's about whatever."

I ask her about her fallout with Ronson. She tells me he made a snap judgment about her based on all the negative press. "We are close enough that I thought we could be like, 'Hello, darling, it's me,' " she says. She adds that they went to the studio for a few days in Oxford, but they weren't connecting. "I played him tracks I liked, just getting the vibe, and he was like, 'Amy, come, let's work.' He was really just uptight. . . . " she trails off and then resumes cheerfully: "He left after three days, and I was like, 'Breathe a sigh of relief, I'm in the country and I can write.' "

I ask what the songs are like. "When the songs are done, they'll be all atmospheric and cool like that...." She does this sort of Sixties-ish Space Age Bond-girl dance, standing with a hip thrust to the side, wiggling her fingers, and opening her mouth. "Whaaaaa . . ." is the sound she makes. "They might be like these girls I've been listening to, like the Shangri-Las."

I ask her about Doherty. "We're just good friends," she says. "I asked Pete to do a concept EP, and he made this face, he looked at me like I'd pooed on the floor. He wouldn't do it. We're just really close."

Ska, huh? Not sure how Doherty would fit into that concept, although it would seem that Doherty is too busy using his camera's blue-light filter to hold on to any sort of concept these days. But the fact that Winehouse foresees a future for herself, that should inspire some hope, right? Especially with the emphysema story being denied by her flack, right? Sigh. I'm just trying to be optimistic.

Up All Night With Amy Winehouse [RS]
Amy Winehouse racist video [YouTube]

As the private-party circuit has become a serious source of income for acts, the stigma attached to it has all but evaporated. Sugababes perform at up to 15 such events a year, and their manager, Mark Hargreaves, says the girls consider it a compliment to be asked. "The huge amount of money paid is just proof of how popular Sugababes are," Hargreaves says. "For cool indie bands, it's not particularly credible, but for pop groups, it is no longer frowned upon."

Typically, Sugababes play a 30-to 45-minute set of their greatest hits, either live to digital audio tape or, for a larger fee, with a full band. "Our production team visit the site in advance to advise the client on what is possible at the venue," explains Hargreaves. "These shows are not in typical event halls. They could be in hotel function rooms, marquees or people's own homes. Some go to great lengths to recreate a live venue - I have seen amazing stages built in vast back gardens and nightclubs erected in the grounds of stately homes. A place like that is a pleasure to play." He won't confirm what the girls have been paid for particular gigs, but their fees are estimated to vary between £100,000 and £250,000. Girls Aloud can also expect £250,000.

Included in the fee is an expectation that artists will "mix'n'mingle" - chat to the hosts and their VIP guests, pose for photos and sign autographs. What partygoers can't do, however, is discuss the party with the press or sell the pictures on. "Guests have to sign a confidentiality contract," says Hargreaves. "That is standard with every act. It's not that anything particularly exciting happens, it's just good business sense to control our own PR."

Sugababes have cashed in on the fact that the type of artists booked for private parties is changing. In the past, it was middle-aged bankers and financiers shelling out for the now conservative stars of their youth, but now it's dotcom millionaires, footballers and Russian oligarchs opting for edgier entertainers. Last month, Roman Abramovich shelled out £185,000 each for Mercury prizewinners Klaxons and sexy Brazilians CSS to perform at his daughter's birthday. In February, a Californian computer-games tycoon paid £15,000 for an exclusive set in Pete Doherty's own, blood-spattered home. Mind you, the latter may have been miffed to hear that, a few weeks earlier, Doherty had accepted £100 from a regular dad to play at his daughter's birthday party.

Well, I guess the Californian was paying for the "ambiance" in that case. But the confidentiality contract is what interests me the most about these arrangements—given that every publicly attended show winds up on YouTube or Flickr in some form these days, perhaps the idea of not having a performance disseminated far and wide is worth as much to some entertainers as £185,000. (Or half that, at least.)

Why music stars are playing private parties [Times Online via BV]
M.I.A. gets paid and tells at MTV Movie Awards afterparty [Soundboard]

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For its part, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is not amused by Amy and Pete's shenanigans.

The RSPCA warned that handling mice at such a young age could mean they are rejected or eaten by their mother.

Becky Hawkes, a spokeswoman for the RSPCA, told Sky: "New born babies should be undisturbed, and with their mother - smell is critical for small rodents.

"It's because the babies will be contaminated by human smells and the mother could reject or eat them."

A worker for the National Animal Welfare Trust said: "You don't disturb any baby creature, whether it's puppies or kittens or mice - you leave them with the mum.

"And you should definitely scrub your hands - just as you would with a new-born baby."

Nice for you to assume they knew that.

if i ain't got you [YouTube]
Duo Blasted For Baby Mice Treatment [Sky]

A spokesperson for the Donmar said that "we are excited to be engaging with such brilliant talent", adding that the theatre's associate director, the actor Douglas Hodge, is working with the pair with "no deadlines attached". But, according to Barat - who said last month that he was to spend a week at Doherty's Wiltshire home working on the project - Hodge's expectations are high. "The theatre wants lots of new songs," Barat said. "We'll probably have to write about 20. But first we have to sit down and think about the rock'n'roll story."

Despite the lack of a deadline, the Donmar is hoping for an early 2009 debut. It didn't take long for these guys to go from "underground rock heroes" to showtunes, did it?

Pete Doherty to write rock'n'roll musical with former Libertines bandmate [Guardian]

As any loyal reader knows, we try to avoid Pete Doherty like the plague, as his case is just too sad-sacky for even us. But we are breaking our Dohertorium for one day and one day only, thanks to this Sun footage of the singer shooting up in a Thai hotel, which will no doubt be forwarded to you five times this morning. It's the high standard in new lows: Doherty may be a shameless drug fiend, but his behavior is only slightly more revolting than that of the British media, whose members giddily put his every meltdown on display, and then sanctimoniously claim that they're just trying to warn the public of the dangers of drug abuse (and yes, pot calling kettle, etc.) Watch if you want, but the unsettling ickiness will stick with you for hours—as will that damn Gorillaz tune that's playing in the background.

Honest Kate ... I'm off drugs [The Sun Online]

We know, we know: The poophead in the pork-pie hat did something stupid over the weekend—something involving a smokeable form of cocaine and a Jaguar. And once again, we're going to completely ignore it, because the guy's got enough attention as it is, and all the Monday-morning quartercracking in the world is going to make that Babyshambles CD any better (besides, we already have one British auto-addict to worry about).

In fact, we've been so happy with our Dohertorium, we're open to suggestions as to what other musical maladroits we should ban. And so we ask: Is there anyone else you'd like to see banished from Idolator? Courtney Love? Jay-Z? What about the tall, big-haired guy from Seinfeld—will we ever have another reason to talk about that guy again?

Earlier: Passing On Pete: Why We're On A Dohertorium

We don't know much about the British legal system—they were the funny wigs, right?—but it seems like they seriously need to get their act together and get this guy off the streets (and certainly away from the Streets). America may coddle its celebrities, but not even the Dancing Itos would let this many incidents go unpunished. Drive around on crack once, shame on you; drive around on crack twice, shame on us.

Seriously, England: Shame.

"Pete Doherty Sent to the Priory" [NME]