Idolator: Poison

Bret Michaels And Rikki Rockett Think Joe Elliott Is A Lip-Syncing Jerk

Maura Johnston — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Last month, Joe Elliott told an Irish newspaper that he thought his former Headbanger's Ball cohorts Poison, Winger, and Warrant were "shite bands," and that he was too busy chasing after the latest tunes by the Stereophonics to even think about touring with them. Well, Poison members Rikki Rockett and Bret Michaels were not happy to hear that news, especially since they've been doubting the veracity of his band's live performances as of late. And Rockett wasn't afraid to say something about that on his blog!

I was talkin' with some friends last night and we were shaking our heads wondering when Joe became a rock historian. Well, Joe, when did ya? Do you think saying bad things about another band makes people like your band more? Oh, no. Can't be it. Let me guess, "You were JUST being honest." Look, I have always enjoyed Def Leppard. But, as of late that pre-programmed, Mutt Lang live record you guys are doing out there on tour is anything but "substance". JUST being honest.

Joe! I'd be hurt if this were coming from John Lennon. Listen up, you are not quite that important there fella! Ya know, just like you I put my pants on one leg at a time, but when I put mine on Joe, they are cooler than yours! But, does it really matter? So it takes about 1 minute and 45 seconds to put on eyeliner. I suppose during that same time you were writing the next "Imagine". In the words of the great Aerosmith, "Get a grip!" Oh, and by the way, just to add to your royal information pool of rock history, Sir Joe, in the 70's it was "Glitter Rock", in the 80's it was Glam Rock.

"Pre-programmed, Mutt Lang live record you guys are doing out there on tour"—those are (misspelled) fighting words! (Albeit probably true ones, since I doubt Elliott and his cronies can hit those multi-octave harmonies the extra octave every night.) Meanwhile, Bret Michaels responded to Elliott's allegations by slamming his lip-syncing on Dancing With The Stars and, perhaps more damningly, not saying that this fight was "turning him on a little bit":

Clearly, there's only one way that this will be solved: A Rock Of Love-off where the women have to choose between members of Def Leppard and members of Poison. (Oh, you know it's inevitable. Just give Vh1 a season or two.)

Joe Elliott (Def Leppard) Slams Poison! [Rikki Rockett's MySpace Blog via Sleaze Roxx]
Michaels (Poison) answers to Elliott's comment (Def Leppard) [YouTube]
Earlier: Def Leppard Will Not Be Tackling "Seventeen" On Its Next All-Covers Album

Def Leppard Will Not Be Tackling "Seventeen" On Its Next All-Covers Album

Maura Johnston — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:45:00 EDT

Def Leppard frontman Joe Elliott told The Irish News that while he's honored to tour with the likes of Styx and REO Speedwagon, don't expect to see his band on the road with any of the bands who shared chart space with it during the Hysteria era. "We refused to go out with Poison or Winger or Warrant or any of those shite bands," he said. "It's a real pity that a lot of the newer bands we've dug over the years haven't actually dug us. But that's just music, man." Those "newer" bands include Stereophonics and Manic Street Preachers, just to give you an idea of Elliott's internal timeline and, uh, general assessment of what isn't "shite." Well! Let's see what is and isn't "shite" in your eyes, readers. I picked my favorite songs from each of the artists Old Joe disses—as well as one from his own band, and one from each of his U.S. touring partners this summer. Which do you prefer?

OK, I'm realizing now this might not be that fair of a fight. Oh well, at least I know now that there's a reason I woke up with "I Hate Myself For Lovin' You" in my head this morning.

(FYI, I really tried to not use "Seventeen" as Winger's pick. But there wasn't much, unless you count that track Kip did with Fiona, which hasn't aged all that well but which I still like:

He really does have super-nice teeth.)

Let's Get ROCKED [Irish News via Sleaze Roxx]

Poison is suing Capitol Records over what ...

Maura Johnston — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Poison is suing Capitol Records over what the band believes are unpaid royalties from its entire tenure on the label. The band's rep claims that the suit is merely a CYA move so that they don't run out of the statute of limitations on claiming their cash, and that the two parties are trying to "work this out amicably." Maybe it's my melted-by-a-long-week brain, but I sense that "amicably" is code for "reality show"! Like Nothin' But A Cash Grab, where Bret Michaels and various Capitol accounting employees get in a wind tunnel and grab money swirling around them! Or maybe Don't Talk Dirty To Me, which follows CC Deville as he tries to be as nice to the honchos at the label as possible—and if he manages to make nice for 20 minutes, he wins back the royalties from a song? (The 20-minute time limit is in effect so each episode can end with a CC comedy routine, natch.) [E!]

Bret Michaels Brings The Realness To Miley Cyrus Fans

Anthony Miccio — Mon, 19 May 2008 12:45:00 EDT

It's the age-old pop star dilemma: the more famous you get, the younger your fans get—to the point where eventually, you may find yourself legally unable to put your penis in them. How does an unwitting rock and roll Barney deal with this awkward situation? If you're Bret Michaels, you tell yourself that girls young enough to be your illegitimate daughter have been brought to your concerts by your "realness," rather than the fact that you remind them of their negligent father if he wore guyliner. You stick to your guns, play the music you want to play, incorporate more western iconography into your poodle rock and almost two decades later, people watching your Vh1 reality dating show will see what a totally credible bad-ass you are. And so will the New York Times' Sunday Styles section.

"You walk off the stage, and you've got 13-, 14-, 15-year-old girls and guys running up, and it isn't because they bought my first record," Mr. Michaels said, his eager eyes hooded by his trademark "guyliner" eye-shadow. True, the Disney demographic hardly seems compatible with his dating show, a PG-13 universe of melon-breasted bottle blondes, attempting to win his affections in dignity-free competitions like stroller derby and mud-bowl football.

But Mr. Michaels is thrilled to see his message get out to the 14-year-old daughters of Poison's original 14-year-old fans. It is a form of vindication. Mr. Michaels believes that it is his resistance to chasing musical trends over the years that has made him hot again.

"It's not like every other day there is some stylist saying, 'You have to become this,' " he said, a rhinestone-encrusted skull-and-bones belt buckle dangling over his crotch. He added, "I think the reason you see all these young fans is, they see the realness."

Members of his backing band said they have started catering to Mr. Michaels's swelling teeny-bopper fan base.

"I put a 'Hannah Montana' sticker on the back of my bass," Ray Scheuring, the bass player, said. "We are Hannah Montana now."

No, Bret was Hannah Montana then.

A Poisonous Love Affair [NYT]
Poison - Talk Dirty To Me [YouTube]

Bret Michaels' Version Of "Cum On Feel Tha Noize" Is Out Of Time (But It Makes Some Money Anyway)

Maura Johnston — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:55:00 EDT

Last night, Bret Michaels continued his run of TV exposure with an appearance on Don't Forget The Lyrics, a show that, I admit, I would probably completely suck on because I am the queen of making syllables up to fit the words of certain songs. He gave up after being tripped up by the pre-chorus to Slade's "Cum On Feel Tha Noize," a song which he claims he can get right when he's in his car. But can he get the melody right? Because there was a run of pretty rough notes there at the beginning. Cleanse your ears with Kevin DuBrow's interpretation of the track, which is after the jump.

Quiet Riot - Cum On Feel Tha Noize [YouTube]
Bret Michaels On Don't Forget The Lyrics Part 2 [RedLasso]

Look who the cops dragged in: Poison drummer ...

Maura Johnston — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 09:45:39 EDT

Look who the cops dragged in: Poison drummer Rikki Rockett was arrested on a strong-arm rape warrant after he arrived in the U.S. from a trip to New Zealand on Monday, according to reports. It's unclear when the warrant, issued in Neshoba County, Mississippi, was issued against the surf-loving drummer. [Los Angeles Daily News / Photo: AP]

Bret Michaels is releasing his autobiography ...

Maura Johnston — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:45:40 EST

Bret Michaels is releasing his autobiography this fall, and as MetalSucks notes, it will be sure to not be as interesting as either The Dirt or anything Poison guitarist C.C. DeVille would commit to paper. But maybe the bandana'd lead singer will be thoughtful enough to provide a glossary of terms that lets the world know the definition of an "unskinny bop" and what the true spelling of "diabeetus" is? [MetalSucks]

"Don't Forget The Lyrics" Brings In Ringers

Maura Johnston — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:30:04 EST

I noted during last night's Idol eliminations that the harmonizers of Boyz II Men would be on Don't Forget The Lyrics, the song-remembering game show that sends its viewers rushing to Google during its commercial breaks. While searching for clips from the show, I came across the news that other "celebrities" would be on the show in future weeks, including Poison's Bret Michaels, REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin, and former Idol contestant Kimberley Locke. It's like going to a state fair from the comfort of your own couch, and with a much messier process for procuring a fried Oreo! [TVCrunch]

Today's "Jesus (And/Or C.C. DeVille) Wept" Photo Of The Day

jharv — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 18:00:26 EST

I can't decide if this is heightening my egg nog-fueled good mood or hindering it. Hinder. Geddit? Goddamn you, VH1.

HT: Nicolars

VH1's "Rock Of Love 2" Lothario: Guess Freakin' Who It Is

mjohnston — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 14:30:41 EDT

Yes, Bret Michaels will be coming back for a second season of ladies fighting for his love, or at least 15 minutes worth of his undivided attention from time to time. And here we all thought it would be Tommy Lee. Guess that the idea of true romance goes out the window when your tour grosses suck, eh?

Yep, It's Bret! [VH1 Blog]
Earlier: Another Musician Prepares To Shed Clothing, Decency For VH1

I was wondering when someone was going to ...

mjohnston — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 17:06:09 EDT

I was wondering when someone was going to make a stink about the videos of nekkid chicks—taken, I believe, from Russ Meyer's body of work—that were projected behind Poison during one song of their set on their summer tour. Thanks for restoring my faith in America, people of Douglas County, Oregon! (And thanks for reminding me that it's really tough to pull off satire well, Seattlest. I mean, "entertainment booker Pete Mancloth"? Come now.) [KOMO via Seattlest]

Bret Michaels will be taking a break from ...

jharv — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:30:00 EDT

Bret Michaels will be taking a break from affronting reality TV viewers and old Poison fans to affront Guitar Hero players in the game's third installment, where he'll be wanking out a version of "Talk Dirty To Me." Wait, Michaels and not C.C.? My god this unconscionable ass is an attention whore. [Blabbermouth}

Nothin' But A Good Time ... And Fifty Bucks

mjohnston — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:00:47 EDT

To follow up on this morning's item about soft ticket sales for Poison: Tickets to tonight's show at the Jones Beach Theater—which I will be attending—range between $26 and $42.50, before the obligatory Ticketmaster service charges.

Which, on the one hand, makes some sense: Poison is still touring with all its original members—a feat in hard rock right now, as we've chronicled here—and they're still on a major, another feat. On the other hand, $42.50 seems a little steep for a band that's a) playing shows behind a covers album and b) touring with Ratt, who aren't even in the top 50 of VH1's "100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock." Considering that Poison's clip for "Nothin' But A Good Time" has them as the savior of dish-washers around America, you'd think that ticket prices wouldn't be so steep—or at least would have kept pace with inflation. In 1990 I spent $21.50 (before service charges) to see Poison with Warrant (which then had all its official members); that would equal $33.72 in 2006 dollars, according to Westegg's inflation calendar, and we haven't even gotten into the "pay $3 for the privilege of printing your ticket at home while using ink and paper that you paid for" lunacy yet.

Poison and Ratt, Vains of Jenna [Live Nation]

Audiences for this summer's Poison tour have ...

mjohnston — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 09:50:12 EDT

Audiences for this summer's Poison tour have ranged from "anemic" to "entirely absent." Maybe the promise of a comedy routine by C.C. DeVille would help sell tickets? Or are people just refusing to pay money to see the latest incarnation of Ratt on principle? [Blabbermouth]

Alert! Last night's Rock Of Love contained ...

mjohnston — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:18:17 EDT

Alert! Last night's Rock Of Love contained actual musical content; Bret took three of the lucky ladies, including the one with "clown tits," to a session at the Jim Henson studios with Don Was. One of the women sang, another semi-orgasmically moaned, and circus-boobs rubbed her butt against Bret's groin. Also, at show's end, Bret dressed up like an extra from a Chick-Fil-A ad. [VH1 Blog]

"Rock Of Love" Pits Groupies Aganist Rockers

Dick Malone — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 12:00:08 EDT

Rock of Love, VH1's latest attempt to create an emotional equivalent to the Faces of Death series, consists of once and future Poison lead singer Bret Michaels and the women competing for his affections. It's the rock remix of and follow-up to Flavor of Love, on which Public Enemy's Flavor Flav tried to find someone to marry, sorta. But the genre switch has also changed something about the ladies participating (well, in addition to the racial inversion): this time, there are groupies, and there are rockers.

Which are which? Well, go to the Web site and look at the pictures; the ones where you can see more tattoos or tongue are rockers. This didn't seem to be the case with Flavor of Love, where none of the contestants claimed to be, say, a big fan of Nas. But in the rock version, quite a few of the participants are at least presenting themselves as true music fans who just happen to have gigantic bazoombas. This seems to mark a significant change from the hair-metal glory days, when acts like Poison were dismissed for being "bands that girls like," the only female musician seemed to be Lita Ford, and the only role female fans played in the iconography were as groupies. Of course, this was a distorted picture, as there were lots of female metal fans who were just as dedicated and knowledgeable as any male fan. (At least two of my friends fell into this category.) But of the many, many women who showed up in metal videos and were mentioned in interviews by metal bands, almost none qualified as pure fans.

Of course, you can understand why band members might have been more interested in the groupie side of the equation. But today, women seem to have achieved something like parity in hard rock. Bands such as Kittie make albums noisier and more intense than anything released in the '80s, ladies who can hold forth on what rocks and what doesn't with some authority are welcomed members of the community, and now you've got essentially a groupielympics with a sizable contingent of girls who are at least trying to appeal on the basis of their being like Bret Michaels, rather than different from and dumber than him.

Still, is this really a difference, or just a stylistic shift? And what does it mean for the younger genre of hip-hop, given the absence of fangirls on Flavor of Love—will girls who can quote Lil' Wayne one day be competing for the heart of Lloyd Banks? Also, how funny is it that Bret Michaels doesn't even seem to be making any pretensions of finding someone to actually marry? They might as well call it Rock of Love: The Quest To Touch Bret Michaels' Herpetic Male Member.

Rock of Love [VH1]

The Worst Poison Video Since The One With Bret Michaels' Ding-A-Ling

Brian Raftery — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 09:53:21 EDT

For reasons unknown to us—or to mankind in general—a Poison fan decided to pay tribute to the band by making a video for its version of "SexyBack"; the inexplicable homage features images of overly amorous stuffed animals with superimposed human lips, and it's every kind of ugly Freudian nightmare you've ever had, all at once. Is it possible to actually turn the Internet off?

Poison's Sexyback [YouTube, via Totally Fuzzy]

Poison's New Video Makes Us Regret Ever Making Fun Of "Unskinny Bop"

mjohnston — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:02:51 EDT

Well, it might have been worse: Instead of the slightly cliched, disturbingly pyro-free "yearbook comes to life" concept, this clip for Poison's cover of "What I Like About You" could have been transformed into an extended ad for Fetch Me A Skank: Over-The-Hill Rocker Edition. Perhaps the band is saving that concept for the video promoting their Wal-Mart-only cover of "SexyBack?"

Poison-What I Like About You! [YouTube, via Bring Back Glam]

Tomorrow's New Releases Revealed Today

mjohnston — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 16:45:02 EDT

Welcome to On The Shelf, Idolator's weekly look at new releases hitting the shelves of record stores and digital-music outlets every Tuesday. This week brings a fairly heavy slate of brand-new albums; after the jump, we give a once-over to new albums from Rihanna, Big & Rich, Paul McCartney, Poison, and T-Pain.

Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad
The artist: Barbados cover girl with a seemingly tireless album-release schedule.
The sound: Crunchy, futuristic radio-pop.
The first in line: Chart followers looking for another track to add to their "Summer Jams Of '07" playlist.

Big & Rich, Between Raising Hell And Amazing Grace
The artist: Country duo that's just finding out about this hot trend called "crunk."
The sound: A ride around Nashville that picks up AC/DC and Wyclef along the way.
The first in line: Good old boys, the bad girls who love to ride 'em, and curious John Legend aficionados.

Paul McCartney, Memory Almost Full
The artist: Former Beatle plunging into the digital/Starbucks era.
The sound: One of the songs is titled "Ever Present Past"; that sort of sums up the feel of the album, 21st-century distribution methods aside.
The first in line: A harried vice-president with a latte jones.

Poison, Poison'd
The artist: Hard rock stalwarts who somehow managed to survive the Capitol-Virgin merger.
The sound: Lipstick-kissed covers of Bowie, Kiss, and The Cars.
The first in line: Rocklahoma road-trippers.

T-Pain, Epiphany
The artist: Drank-buyin', stripper-lovin' flirt.
The sound: Vocodered, airy R & B.
The first in line: VIP-room DJs looking for post-last-call fodder.

On The CD Front [Pause & Play]

The Pitchfork Music Festival Might Have Some Serious Competition For Our Summer-Festival Dollars

mjohnston — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 18:40:27 EDT

The nearly-full docket of summer rock festivals has added another date to its calendar with Rocklahoma, a three-day music festival in the middle of Oklahoma taking place the same weekend as Pitchfork's outdoor fest. The rumored (and, somehow, Hinder-free) lineup, courtesy of Hard Rock Hideout:

POISON, RATT (featuring original lead singer Stephen Pearcy), VINCE NEIL and Y&T are among the acts that are expected to appear at Rocklahoma, a three-day outdoor '80s hard rock festival, set to take place July 13-15, in Pryor, OK at the Pryor Festival Grounds. The following is a partial list of bands that are **rumored*** to be taking part in the event:

BANG TANGO
BULLET BOYS
DOKKEN
FASTER PUSSYCAT (feat. Brent Muscat)
FIREHOUSE
L.A. GUNS (feat. Tracii Guns)
POISON
QUIET RIOT
RATT
SLAUGHTER
TESLA
VINCE NEIL
WARRANT
Y&T

While that lineup (minus Firehouse) does look like it could go toe-to-toe with any episode of Headbanger's Ball in our VHS collection, we have to say that we'd be a lot more likely to attend if the bookers, somehow, convinced both versions of L.A. Guns to play in some sort of Guns-off, with the winner decided by the crowd. Mainly because we honestly have no idea who we'd vote for—do you give it to the Guns-led camp for authenticity's sake, or the Lewis-led version as thanks for keeping it real during the Brides Of Destruction days? Clearly, a "Rip And Tear"-off is the only thing that can solve this dilemma.

Rocklahoma [Hard Rock Hideout]

YouTube-Tied: Bret Michaels And Bobby Dall Talk Dirty To One Another

Brian Raftery — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 18:36:48 EDT

Okay, so the video quality sucks—it's kind of like what would happen if Ricki Rachtman hired Abraham Zapruder—but here's some footage of Poison's on-stage brawl Friday night in Atlanta. Thanks to the drunken woman who shrieks incessantly throughout the whole minute-plus clip, you'll feel like you're there.

"Poison-ous?" [Arkansas Times]