Ketchup: Ubiquitous, generally well-liked.
Key characteristics: Universally accepted as great background music; can be played at a party frequented by many different-minded souls with minimal complaint; informal surveys of friends will reveal that most people own at least one of their "essential" albums, but rarely own their entire discography.
Sample artists: Weezer, Air, Kelly Clarkson.
When they're past their sell-by date: When they're liked by almost too many people. (Think Dave Matthews.)

Mustard: Popular in its original form, but also available in spicy variations.
Key characteristics:Masters of reinvention; have found mainstream success with one genre of music, but can’t wait to go all Dijon and become something entirely different; tend to find success in most everything they do, to the chagrin of safe-but-steady ketchup bands.
Sample artists: Damon Albarn, Ne-Yo, Justin Timberlake.
When they're past their sell-by date: When they take it one step too far and become children’s book authors.

Ranch Dressing: It's kind of gross, and did you know it has, like, 1,000 calories? Eww—wait, is that a Sam's Club-sized bottle of ranch in your fridge? Busted.
Key characteristics: The aural equivalent of a band that turns your fancy baby spinach and endive salad into a cheeseburger; few people will admit to liking them, yet singalongs to their music are commonplace; classic bands of this ilk are popular sources for ironic T-shirt wearing.
Sample artists: Ultravox, Cobra Starship, Carrie Underwood.
When they're past their sell-by date: When a snoopy friend discovers their songs in your iTunes library. (This is why I keep such acts in a secret folder known as “Hidden Valley.”)

Pesto: Are you going to buy it on your own? No. Do you enjoy it on a $20 sandwich at a restaurant? Yes.
Key characteristics: Highbrow critics swear by them; they are cited as an influence by many mainstream musicians; their sections at your local record store are accompanied by breathless two-index-card treatises on their genius; someone in the band has been rumored to be mentally unstable, resulting in long gaps between releases.
Sample artists: Scott Walker (Scott 4 through The Drift), Patti Smith, My Bloody Valentine.
When they're past their sell-by date: The inevitable reunion tour, which is risky, and could turn them into a creamier pesto… a sort of ranch, some might say.

Wish-Bone Salad Spritzers: That new spray-on salad dressing looks totally cool, and it's only 10 calories per squirt. I should try it…one day.
Key characteristics: Frequently cited as “brilliant” and “life-changing”; it’s a burden on your life that you have never tried to get into them; when dropped into a conversation, you say you’ve "heard of them but haven’t heard them."
Sample artists:Death Cab For Cutie, Bright Eyes, The Shins.
When they're past their sell-by date: When you get called out for faking affection toward them.

Newman’s Own: The critics and masses alike adored him, and he's versatile enough to have put out a whole line of his own condiments.
Ingredients: Think ketchup, but with fans that think they are the bombolina because they possess a rare combination of talent and success.
Sample artists: Radiohead, The Roots, Bjork.
When they're past their sell-by date: When they reach a little too far in trying to have it both ways, and do things like collaborate with with Timbaland. (I’m looking at you, Bjork.)

One commenter thought that Newman's Own bands should also include musicians who perform various charitable acts. But if a band or musician has become famous enough to really make a difference in the world through charity work, the possibility for backlash is inevitable. Which brings me to my final pop condiment classification.

Miracle Whip: Sure, its name makes it sound impressive. But is it really capable of anything close to a miracle?
Ingredients: Overexposure; less time devoted to music because of meetings with various world leaders about peace; incipient God complex; wire stories about "political" asides at concerts; tendencies toward writing "messages" on own skin with Sharpies.
Sample artists: Coldplay, U2, Kanye West.
When they're past their sell-by date: Miracle Whip bands have got that gooey stuff around the lid and everything, and you should probably throw them out. But they’ll stay in the fridge door of popular opinion forever.

Turning 48 yesterday, I realised the only Creation band that I still get excited about is Oasis.

Sure, lots of acts that were on Creation haven't exactly been flooding the music world with new material (I'm looking at you, Kevin Shields). But that sentence just seemed hurtful to a number of acts that found their start on Creation that are still active... and possibly more interesting than Oasis.

Sure, it's been awhile since there was a new St. Etienne record, but those are somewhat notable still, right? I really enjoyed "Stars Above Us."

Somehow I missed the most recent Teenage Fanclub record (which might help prove McGee's point), but when their new album comes out, I'll probably be in the vicinity of excited. At the very least, I still get excited when my copy of Grand Prix turns up.

Gary from Snow Patrol referred to Super Furry Animals as our generation's Beatles. Who are you to disagree with the guy who wrote "Chasing Cars", Alan McGee?

I'll spare posting a Primal Scream video, considering I ran an entire post of them recently, but they're still around, and reasonably interesting. I mean, if you can get excited for a new Oasis disc, you can certainly muster up some anticipation for a Primal Scream album, no? Alan McGee, I'm disappointed in you. I'm willing to forgive you, considering you brought us Adorable, but I'm still disappointed.

Why the music world needs Oasis [Guardian]

Thank you, Vodafone Live Music Awards, for doing what no American awards show has the guts to do: Give a bunch of awards to Primal Scream. I have no idea what they've done to merit an award for "Outstanding Contribution To Live Music" (well, besides being awesome), but they certainly appeared to be excited by the honor last night, with bassist Mani asking "What's this one for again?" upon accepting it.

The complete list of winners:

Best Live Male: Mark Ronson
Best Live Female: Kate Nash
Best Live Act: Primal Scream
Best Live Return: Spice Girls
XFM Live Breakthrough Act: The Ting Tings
4Music Festival Of the Year: T In The Park
Live And Unsigned Awards: Kiddo360
Best International Live Act: Kings Of Leon
Sony Ericsson Tour Of The Year: Take That Arena Tour
Outstanding Contribution To Live Music: Primal Scream

Primal Scream triumph at Vodafone Live Music Awards [NME]

"Loaded"

"Movin' On Up"

"Rocks"

"Kowalski"

"If They Move, Kill 'Em" (from Later with Jools Holland)

"Miss Lucifer"

Primal Scream [Official site]

Hook explained that the band, which also features Gary Briggs, the former singer with Manchester-based band Haven, have completed eight songs that, rather unsurprisingly sound like, "a cross between Joy Division, New Order, The Stone Roses, [The] Smiths, Primal Scream with a load of reggae and northern soul thrown in."



As previously reported, the likes of Liam Gallagher (Oasis), Ian Brown (The Stone Roses), Tim Burgess (The Charlatans), Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) and Bobby Gillespie (Primal Scream) have all been previously mooted by Hook as guest vocalists for the project.

Sadly, the one Freebass live clip available, which features Badly Drawn Boy joining them for "Love Will Tear Us Apart" at a Manchester cancer benefit, doesn't give you much opportunity to discern how the bassists interlock. Still, this might wind up more interesting than a Revenge reunion. Or a Monaco reunion.

Hook Sets Freebass Release Date [Billboard.biz]
Versus Cancer 2008 - Love Will Tear Us Apart [YouTube]

1992 is referred to as one of the worst years in British chart history, partially because of a series of ABBA tributes which made runs at number one. Combine that with a great year for Simply Red, and even the Shamen start to sound good:

Although it appeared on the 1991 album Screamadelica, Primal Scream's "Movin' On Up" saw a single release in 1992, which is connection enough for my purposes. It's no Loaded, but it's still pretty great:

I'm not making the contention that this song is worth hearing again, but keep in mind that Wet Wet Wet were doing pretty well the same year. Context really is everything.

Of course, 1992 saw the farewell of geniuses KLF, marked by this brilliant BRIT Awards performance:

Is it too much to ask for "What Time Is Love '08"? KLF, we need you more than ever!

1992 in British Music [Wikipedia]