5. Go Hard Or Go Home, "Da Best Of Go 'Hard Or Go Home'"
Praise be to whomever! We can't imagine what did we do to deserve a half-hour greatest-hits compilation from Go Hard, Southern California's finest amateur-rap showcase, but seeing this on YouTube is like getting an early Christmas present—one you can't wait to return. The best part of this collection is that every time the music starts getting tired, a gravel-voiced host named A-FS (he's the co-CEO of Cheddar Getta Multimedia, dontchaknow) delivers interstitial banter evidently filmed near his condo's front door.

4. Rumpleforeskin, unknown song
What's so great about Rumpleforeskin—we think they got their name by combining the words "Rumpelstiltskin" with "foreskin," but we're not sure—is that their Infectious Grooves-style funk-metal sound single-handedly sums up everything terrible about Clinton's first term. When the next generation's Oliver Stone decides to make a decades-spanning epic about America, this clip will surely into his or her mid-'90s montage.

3. The Great Daryl Nathan, "Spinning Wheel"
We've featured this Grand Rapids, MI, blonde buttercup before, but this might be his finest moment: An unyieldingly repetitive object immortalized in an unyieldingly repetitive tune.

2. Barry O'Toole, "Go Truck Yourself"
Nothing ages worse than self-aware "wackiness." A shades wrangler was on set, to make sure no harm came to the half-dozen or so Lennon-style sunglasses that the cast thought was a visual signpost for coolness.

1. Music Island (trailer)
Come with us to a land where musicians still think that flashing devil horns makes you look cool, where no one has sideburns, and where the theme music sounds like a 1996 Vivid Video trailer. Come with us...to Music Island.

We'll be honest: We really thought the seemingly bottomless supply of YouTube-archived public access shows was about to run out. But this week, we entered such search terms as "oversized pants," "white rap" and "persian gulf war," and yet another goldmine of absurdity was unearthed (we also had help from some tipsters, and for that we thank them—we think). After the click-through, just enough homegrown looniness to get you through the weekend. And for those of you just catching up, the archives are open 24-7.

5. Starock, "Original Scene"
A recurring guest on the appropriately titled '80s show San Francisco's Talent Vision, Starrock's claim to fame was their distinction of being "the only band in the world to use a projection TV as a band member." They were also the only band to name a song "Original Scene," and then cop the opening keyboard riffs from the Doors' "Light My Fire." (There's an even better Starock clip here, but it's not embeddable, alas).

4. Stephen J. Morris, "Yellow Ribbons Turn Gray"
What if Richie Havens wore zubaz-esque pants, a backwards baseball cap, and a permanent grimace?

3. Jiffy Pop, "Jiffy Pop"
There's so much white-boy rapping on YouTube, it's hard to tell what's legit and what's a not-too-far-off-the-mark parody. Everything in this clip—from the lame rhymes to the run-of-the-mill shout-outs—indicates that it has to be the real bad deal. But even if it's not, the host of this show is still way better than any of the nincompoops on Fuse.

2. Jimmy Schwatzman, "Brotherhood of Man"
Another wonderful clip from the late, lamented Stairway To Stardom. The trumpet player is actually dead throughout this entire song.

1. Sondra Prill, "Smile"
Unfortunately, it's not a cover of the Lily Allen song—how amazing would that time-traveling Marvel Team-Up be?—but an original number from our perpetual top-spot holding starlet. By the third schmaltzy verse, though, it becomes painfully clear that the Prill Building is no Brill Building.

It's been a while since we lasted rounded up the finest in community programming; we blame YouTube's lack of recent gonzo acquisitions. But even though it took us some time, we've once again assembled some of the most amazing off-key warblings, buffonish balladry, and amateur puppeterring on the web. After the click-though, more evidence that late-night television peaked in the '80s and '90s.

5. Yourself, "The Day People Came"
You'll need to plug in your headphones to really hear the sexy flute solo, but Yourself is more about the wardrobe than the music; even though the clip claims this is from 1992, they look like both look like they just came back from one of Jackson Browne's "Re-elect Carter" fund-raising shows.

4. Unknown Artist, "Love Nuts" (?)
It's impossible to tell if these guys are actual late-'80s hair-metal balladers, or simply one of the most detail-oriented satirists of all time. Either way, we finally get an answer to that age-old question: What if Jon Lovitz started dressing up like Susanna Hoffs? (Warning: gets slight NSFW at the end)

3. Unknown, "Spirit of Truth"
Okay, so this one's been around for a while, and the only thing vaguely musical about it is the backing groove track. But if we can't all join together to enjoy a guy with a Last Of The Mohicans haircut asking, "Are you laughing, beeyatch?", then all is lost.

2. Marcello Romero, "Sixty Million Voles"
The song is actually pretty good—kind of a weird mix of Pinback, They Might Be Giants and a broken drum machine—but what really sells it is the video's muppety co-stars. You know you're in for a good time when you see the tags "Puppets Puppetry music video" all lined up together.

1. Sondra Prill And Guests, "The Greatest Love"
The next time you think you're having a bad day, cue up this clip and keep your eyes on the woman on the left, who's obviously looking for an exit sign whenver the mic is put in front of her. It's almost enough to distract you from the keyboard tie.

Another week, another overview of the best low-budget music videos on YouTube. Many thanks to the tipsters who have been alerting us to the rare gems featured after the click-through; if it weren't for you guys, we wouldn't have had the pleasure of meeting the likes of Marko Nadsworth and BJ The Messenger.

As for those of you just now catching up now, the complete archive can be viewed here. Check out all the clips, and when you regain your senses 2-3 weeks later, send us an email that just says "Hairdresser!" We'll totally get it.

5. Marko Nadsworth, "Witchita Lineman"
At first, it seems more than a little hubristic that Nadsworth's opening titles would find him claiming a co-writing credit with Jimmy Webb. But then, once you hear this jazzercise-inspired dance version, you realize that he's re-interpreted ths song so drastically (and wonderfully), he deserves all the publishing royalties he can get.

4. Elton & Betty White, "I'm In Love Wit Your Behind"
You'll want to give up after about ten seconds, but trust us, once he actually starts playing, you'll be in love with said behind, as well. Ten times better than anything Devendra Banhart's ever written

3. Kadeve Interview
Not a performance, but an interview between rapper Kadeve and the host of California's "Go Hard Or Go Home," who sounds like the Cookie Monster imitating DMX. You know it's an in-depth interview when the host keeps his Bluetooth receiver on, and the soundtrack includes canned applause.

2. BJ The Messenger, "Crackhead"
Wow. We really try not to cop out when it comes to these write-ups, but...wow.

1. Unknown, "Why Do You Think You Are Nuts?"
This is the perfect clip to keep on hand at all times. That way, the next time somebody starts talking about how great Peaches is, and how she has this trailblazing confrontational style, and she doesn't care what people think of it, you just pull this up and mouth the word "No."

Now that YouTube has been sucked up by Google, who knows what will happen to its vast treasure trove of public-access gems? We're hoping the big new bosses don't try to assume control over the numerous locally produced oddities on the site, but then again, we're old enough to remember what happened when Wayne and Garth sold out to Rob Lowe.

Until the hammer falls, though, we're going to keep on keepin' on with our weekly round-up of performances from hopeless amateurs and near-miss superstars from around the country. Enjoy, and and if you want even more lunch-break kitschamania, be sure to check out the Idolator Public-Access archive here.

5. Unknown, "Fishnet/Black Pantyhose"
Clearly, sometimes you can say more with a hoarse, smooth-talk whisper than a shout—that is, if you can remember the words at all. Smart-eyed viewers will no doubt recognize the ace work of the band's rhythm guitarist, who manages to tackle the song's numerous, multi-layered riffs without using a strap. It's like she's not even playing at all. Hmmm.

4. Flash Jordan, Elvis & Lady B, "Untitled 'Austin City Lights' Jam"
Many thanks to the tipster who pointed us in the direction of YouTube's ample Austin City Lights archive—even though, to be honest, we can only get through five minutes of it before feeling the urge to knock ourselves out with chloroform. This free-form composition (a title is neither provided nor needed) appears to be a medley of songs about kanagaroos, movie stars and rhinestones. Kind of like Austin itself.

3. Unknown, "The Boys Are Back In Town"
The clip's description pegs it as an entry from a mid-'80s Arizona lip-synching show, but we're pretty sure this is actually the Red Hot Chili Peppers entering the world of viral-video marketing. Make sure you look for the restaurant (?) employee who walks by halfway through, wondering why he didn't take the summer job at his dad's office.

2. Butch Willis & The Rocks
You know you're in for a good time when the opening-credits sequence looks as though it was designed on a Commodore 64. This almost took the No. 1 slot this week—especially when the fog machine starts acting up toward the end—but we had to dock Willis a few points for his second song, which at times suspiciously similar to CSNY's "Helpless."

1. Sondra Prill, "From A Distance"
Another chart-topping classic from Prill. When the "eagle takes to flight," you will tear up with hope and joy. Interesting sidenote: This video is, in fact, best enjoyed from a distance.

Ye asked, and now ye shall receive: After last week's somewhat-heralded round-up of some of the best music videos to ever make it to the public-access airwaves, we gladly (and humbly) unveil the sequel. After the click-through, please join us for a delightful rogue's gallery of wannabe rappers, rockers and Robert Palmers.

Previously: Idolator Presents: The Five Greatest Public-Access Music Videos Of All Time

5. The Great Daryl Nathan, "A Brand New Song For A Brand New Year"
Nathan drew plenty of attention during his public-access heyday in Grand Rapids, Michigan. This was partly due to his stream-of-consciousness songs, and partly due to his hairstyle, which can be only described as "Robert Plant on a Welsh farm in the '70s." Here, he warns about how the dangers of "pretty, fine girls." Beware. Beware!

4. Unknown, "Creature From Space"
It's a shame the "Creature" clip is only 46 seconds long, because the song has so much potential: "Yes, the chances of anything coming from Mars/Are a million to one, he said." Who said? And why is there an old guy staring behind the drumkit the whole time? Where was this song going, and can we come along?

3. Lady Cree, "Bounceclap"
Go Hard Or Go Home is a half-hour amateur-rap show from something called Chedder Gettas Multimedia. All you really need to watch is the first three minutes, in which Lady Cree sputters out a vulgar song clearly called "Bounceclap" (this might be an actual song; we frankly have no idea). Cree looks entirely ill-at-ease, possibly because A) she doesn't know how to hold a microphone, and B) she's singing a vulgar ditty about bouncing asses, possibly from a male viewpoint. This, despite her claim that she's been singing since she was seven years old.

2. Marilyn Manson (interview)
It's not technically a music clip, but it's most definitely a performance. For this 1995 appearance on Dreamvision—we're assuming that's all one word)—Manson and Twiggy Ramirez play up their shock-rock shtick: Manson's first words are "Fuck Danzig, Fuck this tour, fuck music, and fuck us," while Ramirez keeps quiet and plays with his blonde wig and nonsensically sticks a tape recorder in the reporter's face. Also from Grand Rapids, Mi., which—for a while there in the mid-'90s—must have been the greatest place in the world.

1. Sondra Prill, "Addicted To Love"
No public-access list is complete without Sondra Prill in the No. 1 slot: Is her bad singing sincere? Ironic? Was she born without self-awareness, or did she surround herself with hangers-on who convinced her that waltzing around a bar like a zombie and crooning off-key was a respectable pursuit? Make sure you wait for when the song drops out in the middle, and listen for Prill's exasperated sputter.

(A note to visitors joining us for the first time: Welcome! If you enjoyed this feature, you may also want to take a lookey-loo over here, here and here. Enjoy.)

Long ago, before the Internet and YouTube came along, you actually had to work to prove how untalented you were. Becoming famous was much more difficult back then, and there were but a handful of venues in which amateur musicians—people who insisted they were going to make it big, much to their friends' and families' chagrin—could strut their stuff. If they were really lucky, maybe they could get a few minutes at an open-mic night; but for most of them, the only way to follow their ill-advised dreams was by appearing on their local public-access television station. Anyone could get a show, it seemed, and all you needed was a clunky microphone, a cameraman, and a 4 a.m. time-slot to be able to watch yourself on television.

Thanks to the aforementioned YouTube (and bad-taste archivists like TV Carnage), we now have access to hours upon hours of off-key cover songs, poorly constructed raps, and Jazzercise-like dance moves. After the jump, Idolator happily shares five of its favorite low-budget beauties. Each one of them is inspiring in its own little way—a reminder of what happens when people can't outgrow their childhood fantasies of being a rock star. Enjoy, and if you like what you see, find an old soundstage and record your own bid for infamy. Who knows? Maybe one of you could be the next "Hairdresser."

5. Unknown, "New York, New York"

You probably think we're making fun of the accents here, but we're not. No, what we love about this clip is the loud, erratic clickety-clack refreain of whatever instrument this woman is playing, not to mention the look of joyfully befuddlement every time she plays it. "New York" is mind-bogglingly charming; if it had been released in the Giuiliani era, crime would have hit an all-time low.

4. Zuma Dogg, "Freestyle Battle Rap"

The acid-trail visual effects and Naughty By Nature-style gesticulations seem straight out of 1992, but the 50 Cent and Web site shout-outs prove otherwise. Very possibly filmed in a mall.

3. Unknown, "Hairdresser"

Made famous by the great TV Carnage—whose video series tipped us off to some of these P-A discoveries—"Hairdresser" is best viewed with a friend. That way, for the next three weeks, you can repeatedly crank-call or text "Hairdresser!" to one another at inopportune moments of the day. And note that while the artist isn't credited here, a review of the lyrics indicates that her name may be Tease-A-Louise. Can anyone from ASCAP or BMI help us out on this? (Someone did—see an update, below).

2. Jan Terri, "Losing You"

We can only wonder whatever became of Terri, who apparently had enough funding to not only write and warble this hook-deprived song, but also to rent a limo for her video and launch her own vanity-project record label (which she named, natch, JT Records). Whether lip-synching in the park or riding on the back of a motorcycle, Terri looks completely uncomfortable in every single frame of this breathtaking commitment to bad performance.

1. Sondra Prill, "Pump Up The Jam"

Where does one start with a clip like this? Everything you could possibly want in a low-rent early-'90s cover-song video is here: The mullets. The awkward on-the-beach work-out scenes. The assaultive vocal stylings. Prill is the queen of bad, the dutchess of middling (she has more than 20 videos archived on YouTube), and a genuine human wonder. She may be No. 234,123 on YouTube (we're guessing), but she's No. 1 in our hearts.

UPDATE: Thanks to Jonno, who notes:

For from being a mere "unknown", the artiste reponsible for "Hairdresser" is the sublime Lucille Cataldo - she's identified as such on the original "Stairway to Stardom" clips on YouTube posted by Sharpeworld earlier this year (which seems to be where TV Carnage found them), as well as in an NPR piece on the series last spring.

(A note to our new friends from Collegehumor.com: Greetings! We hope you like what we see; if so, we also suggest taking a look-see over here, here, and here. Enjoy!)