3:34: So two kids are getting to audition the to-be-released-tomorrow Lenny Kravitz and Nada Surf albums, as well as the Step Up 2 soundtrack. We'll get their reviews later. It's like live-blogging except...liver.

3:36: And there's the Bad Brains. Strumming acoustic guitars. And looking old.

3:38: Lenny K. was supposed to be live in the studio today but he instead he's off somewhere fermenting a love revolution. Instead we get the typical no-longer-than-a-minute snippet of his blah "I'll Be Waiting" video. But if you want to air-piano along with the whole thing you can always go to MTV.com.

3:40: Speaking of which: an air-guitar contest! That's...kind of entertaining. A gentleman gamely mugs his way through "Are You Gonna Go My Way" for a chance at winning Lenny's guitar.

3:42: And now a commercial break. To heighten tension before the next round in the contest. And to make sure there's not actually too much show on this show.

3:44: And now a young lady uncomfortably grinds out an air-guitar performance of "Lenny's" signature hit "American Woman." And the guitar goes to...the guy. Who's mentally calculating his eBay winnings before he's off-camera.

3:46: This Sara Bareilles clip answers the unasked question: What would happen if you replaced Michael Jackson with Feist in the "Leave Me Alone" video?

3:48: And now the unbearably smug Tim Kash updates me on all the news I've spent today blogging about. Hannah Montana blah blah, Britney's nuts blah blah, Superbowl blah blah.

3:52: Blink and you'd miss Paramore at No. 6. For a show where nothing happens this shit moves almost too fast to live-blog.

3:55: An actual 30-seconds of Britney allows me to catch my breath. Our junior reviewers have determined that Lenny never disappoints and that Step Up 2 soundtrack is going to be one of the biggest albums of the year. They're practically ready for rock critic prime time with that kind of firm grip on banal platitudes.

3:56: Finally! Missy!

3:58: Missy wants your help in naming her new album. You get $500 and a mention in the liner-notes after "God" and "R.I.P. Aaliyah."

4:00: 3-D video up next! It looks...blurry. And red. And blue. And I'm pretty sure that was just a vintage clip of a Bad Brains moshpit bumping us into the commercial break.

4:03: Fergie's "Clumsy" at No. 4. Will 2006 2007 ever end?

4:04: Apparently you have to "have a big pom-pom" to "do the pom-pom." They mean butt, right? I'm pretty sure they mean butt. Missy refuses to elaborate by doing the pom-pom.

4:06: Oh shit. "Strap on your glasses" because he we go!

4:06: Dancers are pop-locking in slo-mo against a white background as their 3-D halos hover around them.

4:07: Missy is (presumably) swinging into my living room on a giant tree swing.

4:07: A reference to Michael Jackson's shiny socks. In 3-D.

4:07: Baseball players thrust their 3-D bats in our faces and Missy and chubby dude friend dance dance revolt in 3-D.

4:08: 3-D house party! 3-D peeping toms!

4:08: 3-D booty popping! Booty popping in 3-D is remarkably similar to regular booty popping without the glasses. Though the neon green leg warmers and shiny blue American Apparel tights are blinding enough in their own right.

4:09: Annnnd...it's over. Hmm. Kinda anti-climactic. Maybe the high-kicking fresh white kicks actually would have knocked my less-than-white socks off in actual 3-D.

4:09: Note to self: Have emergency pair of 3-D glasses in the house in the future.

4:10: Tim Kash: "That was a dope video right TRL??" Yeah, it was okay. I guess. The lack of the little "Work It" breakdancing little girl (in 3-D!) was a bit of an oversight. Though I guess she's probably a breakdancing junior high student at this point.

4:12: A kid just asked Chelsea Clinton to sign his box of Cheez-Its. I need a beer.

4:15: Now a revealing interview. Missy used to sing songs about roaches as a little girl. An odd one even then.

4:16: Missy did not have liposuction. She would have gotten the "Paris Hilton jump-off" if she was going to go the plastic surgery route. Noted.

4:18: The audience just inhaled as one when Missy mentioned nearly getting into an altercation recently with someone who "just got off the boat." She went on to clarify she meant "off a cruise ship" but I don't think the TRL kids were buying it.

4:20: Okay, the arrival of Danity Kane's spray-tanned cleavage just made me sad.

4:21: Remember the blonde is named AUDREY and the brunette is named AUBREY. And zip-up leather outfits are not for everyone. There will be a quiz.

4:23: Danity Kane and the Bad Brains! Together at last! The last days of MTV just keep getting stranger.

4:26: Fox45 is advertising the "greatest break-ups" this week on Friends. For those in the greater Baltimore area with nothing to do around dinnertime.

4:28: Come on TRL audience, there's no way you're actually that excited to see the stars of Making The Band 4. Your applause is so hollow.

4:29: The band from Making The Band 4 is officially called...Day26. Really. What?

4:30: And "Low" is still No. 1. And we're out!

4:33: Wait...did we ever find out the verdict on the new Nada Surf? MTV, not big on tying up loose threads.