ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: While I'm all for people calling out the fact that even people who have multiple communication devices can feel all alone—and, in some cases, even more alone than they might have had they just stuck with an old, Bell-provided corded phone for their communication needs—"Playas Get Lonely" feels like a bit of a misfire. R. Kelly apparently wallowed in the back catalog of Linkin Park (and Fort Minor!) during his recent trial, because this song starts off as a straight-up jack of Mike, Chester, and those other guys, from the sullenly plonked out piano chords that open the song to the "I look around and see so much emptiness" lyrics. At its core it's a love song, but it's one that says to its object, "Love me because I have nothing else"—even the line "I spend a couple of Gs when I'm bored" is sung in such a way that it should be lip-synced by an Intervention subject who's about to confess a family-crippling shopping addiction. (And I have a nagging feeling that this song is some weird attempt at an "apology" to the world, which I don't really want to entertain.)

WHERE TO HEAR IT: YouTube. Or here:

[Via Forkcast]

While the singer's next album was originally supposed to be 12 Play: Fourth Quarter, the cool reaction to potential singles "Hair Braider" and "Body Body" seem to have put that album into limbo. Now Kelly's lawyer says his next album will be a gospel one. Too bad he's already used the title U Saved Me!

(Not guilty!!!)
I was on the tape!!!
(Not guilty!!!)
Statutory rape!!!
(Not guilty!!!)
But the witness lied!!!
(Not guilty!!!)
I was CGI'd!!!
(Not guilty!!!)
Thank you, Jesus!!!
(Not guilty!!!)
Now let's go to IHOP!!!
(Not guilty!!!)
Not guilty!!!
Woah oooh woah oooh woah

With "U Saved Me" and "Prayer Changes" claiming Jesus will cure cancer and get you on the Chicago Bulls, I wonder if someone will ever tell him that in Christianity the rewards (as well as the punishments) are supposed to come in the afterlife.

R. Kelly - U Saved Me [DailyMotion]
What's Next For R. Kelly [MTV]

"Because Of Love"

I completely forgot about this top ten hit, and listening to it now, I'm not surprised.

"Twenty Foreplay"

You're not going to have R. Kelly join you on stage, are you? Please don't sing "You've made love to my mind/ Now you gotta take me from behind" or discuss how you've both felt the "warm explosion" unless he's there to nod along.

"Every Time"

Britney has to do her treacly piano number named "Everytime" because she doesn't have "Let's Wait A While," "Come Back To Me," "Again," and all the other good ballads Janet does. And that's why Janet shouldn't do hers.

"Just A Little While"

I actually think Damita Jo is a solid album—she better pull out "All Nite (Don't Stop)"—but the first single was a serious backfire, with Dallas Austin trying to put Janet's breathy voice over a guitar riff Pink probably rejected. "Black Cat" shows she can rock, but this shows that she can't rock sweetly.

"Call On Me"

You know, even if Nelly is standing backstage, please don't do this. Just let the beat play while you're off changing outfits.

And here's one track that should be performed, even if it wasn't really a single.

Seeing as how she's explored her sexuality for the last 15 years, she might want to flip things for the age of Obama with a little "Ignorance? No! Bigotry? No!" How can someone who spent her early twenties wearing shoulder pads and announcing her autonomy be so determined to stay a sex kitten into middle age? I'm not suggesting that she should be mocked as a cougar because she's really into physical pleasure, but it's clear that audiences are aching to see a different dimension.

Janet Jackson - Because Of Love [YouTube]
Janet Jackson - Twenty Foreplay [YouTube]
Janet Jackson - Every Time [YouTube]
Janet Jackson - Just A Little While [YouTube]
Janet Jackson feat. Nelly - Call On Me [YouTube]
Janet Jackson - The Knowledge [YouTube]

"The key problem was the identity of the female," juror #23 said. "Her absence was a major lack."



"The family was too divided," said juror #9, who in the preliminary votes had voted for a guilty verdict. "So you had to discount the family testimony either way."



This didn't mean that the jurors bought all the defense arguments wholesale. The missing mole, for instance, was a non-issue, they said. They didn't want to examine the video any further, either.



"I've seen that video way too many times," juror #21 said. "The first time was too many."

It's also worth noting that the jury was not made aware of facts like R.'s annulled marriage to a then-underage Aaliyah or the cash settlements he's made with others who've accused of statutory rape. Ironically, R. Kelly may have had a harder time if the jury did. consist of his fans, as his fans would have seen Chappelle's Show, read the other allegations, and known just how egregious the man's pathologies are. But unless a DA can actually find an underage participant willing to testify in court, it's unlikely we'll see another case like this for Kelly again.

R. Kelly Jurors Agreed Singer Was On The Sex Tape [MTV]

• "The great tragedy of the R. Kelly case would be if the jury's not-guilty verdict accelerated that erosion. Rather, the verdict should be read for what it is and nothing more: A jury listened to all the evidence and concluded the prosecution had not proved its case. And it was a challenging case, at that. The alleged victim testified before a grand jury that it wasn't her on tape. Prosecutors couldn't tell the jurors where that sad and ugly sex tape came from, and then they botched having it copied. No matter who you believe was on the tape, or whether you believe Kelly is a hero or a villain, one fact remains — an adult man taped himself having sex with a young girl and urinating on her. Whatever innocence that girl had left was stolen that day. And that's a crime." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• "Since 2002, Kelly has released seven albums, including a joint record with Jay-Z. He is due to release another album sometime this year. While it remains to be seen how many copies it will sell, it is clear that, as always, this latest scandal won't affect Kelly's popularity." [Nkesa Mumbi Moody, AP]
• "Hopefully we'll get a few more chapters of Trapped In The Closet! Sike." [illRoots]
• "The piquant reaction USA Today found from the "entertainment director" of Essence magazine Kelly's prosecution is just another example of how the focus of the scandal on Kelly, rather than on the large number of young girls he's been accused of molesting, has worked to the singer's benefit. Here's Kelefa Sanneh, in the NYT, writing about Kelly two years ago: 'Mr. Kelly, the legendarily freaky R&B star, long ago established himself as one of the greatest singer-songwriters of his generation. The sex scandal that threatened to derail his career in 2002 ended up doing the opposite: it made him more productive, more successful and, somehow—maybe because more people began paying attention to his excellent music—more respected than ever before.' " [Hitsville]
• "Most of all, [Kelly] wants to thank God for giving him the strength to get through this. He's going to have more to say about all of this very soon. But for right now, he'd be more inclined to be with his family, collect himself and get strong again." [R. Kelly spokesman Allan Meyer]

[Photo: AP]

Speaking after prosecutors had showed the jury the notorious sex tape at the center of the case one last time, defense attorney Sam Adam Jr said that the girl on the tape had accepted cash before performing a series of sex acts.

Showing the jury a studio photograph of the alleged victim on a large screen, he then told them that if they were going to find Kelly guilty of 14 counts of child pornography, "you are going to have to call (the alleged victim) 14 times individually and collectively a whore."

Barely audible, he whispered, "My momma told me when we were kids, 'if you ain't got something nice to say about someone, don't say it about her."

He concluded his argument saying, "How are you 14 times going to call her a whore?"

Oh, and don't forget, that girl you shouldn't call a whore? She's not the girl in question anyway, and even if she was, R. Kelly can't be the man in question. Otherwise, wouldn't she have told everybody?

No 13-year-old girl could have kept an affair with a "superstar" like Kelly secret, he said, noting that nobody had raised any concerns at the time of the alleged taping in 1998 or 1999.

"You couldn't keep a 13-year-old girl's mouth quiet about having Hannah Montana tickets," Adam said.

Ironically, Miley Cyrus would have been about 6 at the alleged time of the taping. I originally thought the defense would be confident about the level of "reasonable doubt" it had raised, but when a lawyer actually says "if you can't say anything nice...," that sounds a little desperate.

Closing arguments complete; Deliberations begin [Sun-Times]

For the prosecution:

• Multiple witness, including relatives, friends and former basketball coaches, have positively identified the girl on the tape. Others have positively identified the author of "Thoia Thoing."

• The tape pretty damn well looks like it was filmed in R. Kelly's "log cabin room."

• Their video expert believes its patently ridiculous to think the tape is a product of CGI.

• It's a videotape of a famous singer pissing on an underage girl, COME ON!

For the defense:

• Neither R. Kelly nor the alleged victim will admit that they're on the tape.

• Several of her family members claim that they do not recognize her as being on the tape.

• A lot of those prosecution witnesses gave conflicting testimony, and have criminal records and/or have beef with the Pied Piper Of R&B.

• The defense's video expert gave a presentation on the wonders of CGI that is probably etched in the brains of those who saw it for eternity.

• No one knows where this tape came from (though there is speculation). All that has been confirmed is that Stephanie "Sparkle" Anderson told Jim DeRogatis she'd seen a sex tape, and a few weeks later it appeared in his mailbox. Conspiracy? Fraud? For the defense, a "maybe" is more than enough.

And really, that's the main problem for the prosecution. It doesn't matter whether the "Little Man" defense holds up, or if there's a clear line of logic as to why Sparkle, Chuck & Keith, Lisa Van Allen and her fiance would spend mountains of cash making a fake sex tape (circa 2001, remember) in hopes of blackmailing R. Kelly to get them to change their testimony. As long as they succeed in making the jurors unsure as to who and what they're actually seeing, they have to deliver a verdict of "not guilty." Thanks to a less than stellar pool of prosecution witnesses, it seems like the defense might have had the easier job.

Closing Arguments — A Preview [Sun-Times]

"What we do object to is the jury taking the tape back and viewing it in the jury room... Lots of things can happen. The tape can break. It can be erased," Adam said.



But prosecutor Shauna Boliker said the original tape — known as People's Exhibit 1 — was "the nucleus of the case."



"The evidence centers around this particular tape," Boliker said. Forcing the jury to come out in open court and sit down in the jury box to review parts of the tape would inconvenience jurors and intrude on the secrecy of deliberations, she said.



Gaughan sided with prosecutors, saying, "People's Exhibit No. 1 ... is the subject of this trial." As such, it was "absolutely necessary" to deliberations, he said.



"It will go back to the jury room," the judge said. However, the judge said he would instruct the jury not to give it more weight than other evidence.



The judge also appointed one of the sheriff's deputies in his courtroom to be the "mechanical operator of the VCR."

Wouldn't you love to be the lucky guy who gets to hold the remote while 12 angry men and women tell you to rewind? (No, not that far, dammit! Now turn up the tint! I said up!)

The Kelly Chronicles [Sun-Times]

I wonder if he'll flee the country if he's found guilty, sending us hottie-filled videos for songs like this from undisclosed locations. Only Osama Bin Laden knows he feels, you know. And Roman Polanski.

Defense rests in R. Kelly case [Sun-Times]
R. Kelly - Body Body [New 2008] [YouTube]

Q. [Your niece] would have turned 17 this past September. You said she looked 15 when this was done.



A. She's probably 14, 'cause the hairdo and everything.



Q. Why do you place it back that far?



A. By looking at the hairdo. And when I saw it the first time, listening to the background, I remember the music, what was being played. I just remember the Backstreet [Boys] song, and I try to remember when that was out. She looks about 14.



...Q. When did you think he might be doing this???



A. I knew the history. Was told of the history, never seeing anything. I just was always like, "C'mon, [R.]." Whenever she was around, I was, "C'mon, c'mon." Just knowing how he is, I just felt if I wasn't around, he was going to watch her. With MY niece. I don't want anything like that to happen to her. I know he would possibly do to other girls.



Q. You got a call from who, who wanted to show you the tape???



A. Don't know. They came to my place and me, being crazy enough to know if it was my niece, I let the guy come in and show me.



Q. They wanted you to I.D. so they could shake him down?



A. I don't know what they wanted, if they wanted money, but I'm assuming that's what their M.O. was.



...Q. How many girls you think he's done that to?



A. Too many to count probably. They definitely have to be young. His whole M.O., he stated this to me long ago, he likes them when they are ripe and young because he can mold them into what he wants them to be, and control their minds and make them do what women "should" do. That's what he thinks you know, be a servant, be the "yes." She's on there calling him Daddy. What kind of daddy would do this to their daughter? Makes me wonder what he may do to his kids.



...Q. How can you say she's 14 there?



A. I can't say with certainty. But with the hairdo. She doesn't have her hair like that now. She wears braids now. And by this tape, it looks like she's been doing it longer than 14. It's definitely a plan, a script, she's used to it, she's like, "Now I have to do this."

You know, it's pretty tragic if a recidivist statutory rapist can get off the hook because witnesses either take money from him or only testify after they've failed to successfully blackmail him.

Three witnesses say their relative is not the girl on tape [Chicago Sun-Times]
Lisa's fiance solicited payoff, Exhibit 95 says [Chicago Sun-Times]
'He likes them when they are ripe . . .' [Chicago Sun-Times]

"You filed it in the wrong court," Gaughan snapped. "A notice of appeal has to be filed at the appellate court." Gaughan also rehashed his finding that DeRogatis is not protected under the law as a reporter because he is a "a material witness to a crime" and is not protecting a source.

In his opinion issued Monday, Gaughan said the defense could not ask about the source of the tape and that Kelly attorney Marc Martin said the defense had no plans to ask about the source.

"You're protecting something that nobody is after," Gaughan said to Dunn.

But Dunn argued that the protection of a source is at issue and offered his motion for appeal to the court and to all parties present.

Court was adjourned so all parties could read the appeal, which had still not been officially filed.

In addition to the normal first-amendment issues of protecting a source, part of the issue with the questioning involves Kelly's lawyers believing that DeRogatis has "extreme prejudice," presumably because he wrote about the sex-abuse allegations surrounding their client two years before acquiring the tape; Robert Christgau has a clear-headed piece about the slippery slope the lawyers are sliding down as far as throwing around the term when it comes to DeRogatis being morally outraged by allegations of pedophilia—and not, one would assume, of Kelly's music, even if he did say that Kells was about to have the "King of R & B" title taken away from him last week. This story is obviously still developing, and I'd recommend hitting refresh on that Trib link below this paragraph for the most up-to-date updates.

UPDATE: He's been ordered to appear in court tomorrow morning—although he can avoid it by taking the fifth.

R. Kelly Trial: Gavel to Gavel [Chicago Tribune]

While she and Pryor were together, Pryor told her "how you interject yourself into a case - that you go at the last minute" with important testimony, she said. Van Allen agreed with [defense lawyer Sam] Adam that Pryor was a "conman," describing their relationship as "a mistake."



Adam pointed out that Van Allen had not come forward for nearly five-and-a-half years as a witness against Kelly, suggesting a link between Pryor's advice and her late emergence as a witness.



But Van Allen denied telling Pryor that the tape at the center of the case was a fake, or that she had told him she planned to extort cash from Kelly. She denied telling a Minnesota woman the same thing, also denying that she knew two men called "Chuck and Keith" had staged the tape at the center of the case to get money from Kelly.

Chuck and Keith? Are they sure they don't mean Chuck and...Rufus?

Did the prosecution really put up a late-arriving witness with lurid stories and a history of dallying with men convicted of fraud? Do they know how easy it is for a circus like this to inspire reasonable doubt? And...Keith...CHUCK?!

Van Allen: we had three-way sex on R. Kelly's basketball court [Chicago Sun-Times]
R. Kelly's attorneys paint Lisa Van Allen as thief, extortionist [Chicago Sun-Times]
R.Kelly-Trapped In The Closet Chapter 11 [YouTube]

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Anything else would be absurd.

R Kelly lawyers hope mystery man can help defense [AP]

Whether he is guilty or not, I can't pretend to know, but if the non-sexual aspects of the story told through the testimony so far are true, R. Kelly probably should have realized a high-profile trial was in his future.

According to Lindsey Perryman, a former assistant to R. Kelly, and now a "record executive", the alleged female participant in the famed video would come over for sleepovers at the Kelly compound, complete with sleeping bag, as well as regular after-school visits to do homework. Perryman mentioned her high esteem for R. Kelly and his family, but also asserted she believed it is Kelly and the girl in the video.

The other big event of yesterday's testimony was some confusion about the chronology of the alleged victim's dental work. One friend of the girl's family testified she did have braces when the video was allegedly shot, however, prosecutors showed in court a music video from the same time period where she did not have braces. Maybe it's just me, but reading accounts of orthodontics in the midst of coverage of a pornography trial is just a bit disconcerting.

While I can't quite place the relevance, there was also testimony regarding the "Space Jam" themed mural at R. Kelly's former home. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, "the mural shows Kelly playing basketball against the cartoon Tasmanian Devil while Michael Jordan referees. In the stands sit other Looney Tunes characters, including Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, and Foghorn Leghorn — who holds a sign reading "Go R. Kelly!" Oh, R. Kelly, you might or might not be guilty of a truly awful crime, but you have impeccable taste in decorating.

Ex-aide says R. Kelly on sex tape with girl [Chicago Sun-Times]

First of all, it must be said that "Be Careful" is one of my favorite R&B tracks of the '90s, and news of her impending appearance on the stand had me singing various parts of the song all day yesterday. Stephanie "Sparkle" Edwards herself didn't really disappoint, coming to the stand with facial glitter, large hoop earrings, and a bad attitude. Sparkle's relationship with R. Kelly ended poorly—a familiar story!—and that possible bias was the emphasis of defense attorney Ed Genson's cross examination. Sparkle resented the idea that she would accuse R. Kelly of child molestation out of revenge, calling Genson "sweetie" sarcastically at one point. Yelling ensued, and the judge had to simmer the whole thing down. That was as exciting as it all got, outside of a woman yelling "Free R. Kelly" at the jury before her inevitable arrest.

The jury has the day off today, while the defense makes an apparent attempt to charge Jim DeRogatis with possessing child pornography in the meantime. Enjoy your weekend, esteemed members of the jury!

Kelly witness, 'Sparkle' clashes with defense [Chicago Sun-Times]

Apparently, the guy in the famous R. Kelly sex tape video? According to the defense, it's not actually R. Kelly. The girl in the video? A prostitute. Who knew? The prosecution, somewhat predictably, disagrees, stating that "everything [in the clip] was written, directed and choreographed by Robert Kelly [including] the angle [and] the lighting." Despite the protests of the defense, the video itself was shown to the jury following the opening arguments on a six-foot-wide screen, with the Chicago Sun-Times reporting that R. "wore a deep frown, with two dark furrows between his eyebrows, occasionally putting his finger to his lips and resting his head on his left hand while the tape played."

The tape itself will obviously be the focus point of the trial, especially considering the woman alleged to be Kelly's partner in the video will not be testifying. To my personal delight, Sun-Times rock critic Jim DeRogatis has been subpoenaed, which should make for a fascinating recap in the paper the following day.

Is the wood-paneled room seen in the video Kelly's former basement? Will the absence of a tell-tale back mole on the tape turn the tide for the defense? Will DeRogatis drop a quick review of the new Fleet Foxes disc into his testimony? There are so many questions left unanswered.

R Kelly opening arguments start; juror dismissed [Chicago Sun-Times]

R. Kelly suffered a defeat in his child pornography trial, as his defense team failed to balance the jury between whites and blacks, and to bar a woman who described herself as a rape victim.

During final negotiations over jurors, prosecutors asked the judge to exclude a black man who had sued Cook County for performing illegal medical tests on him while he was a prisoner in the jail. They claimed his experiences with the justice system would bias him against the prosecution. Sam Adam Sr., a lawyer representing Kelly, stood up to object.

"I think they're using these to get rid of African-Americans," Adam charged.

"I don't think they're doing that," Judge Vincent Gaughan responded. "You keep saying that. You haven't mentioned all the white males you dismissed."

Nonetheless, Gaughan refused to dismiss the man, forcing the prosecution to use one of its peremptory strikes, which allow lawyers to veto a juror for any reason. Each side was allowed seven strikes....

The exchanges raised deep questions about the justice system's fairness to African-Americans. The men were barred from the jury not because they were black, but because they were veterans of the penal system — which incarcerates blacks at a far higher rate than whites. That can become a self-perpetuating situation, since eliminating black ex-cons from jury pools would seem to produce juries more likely to convict black men.

Kelly's jury will consist of eight blacks and four whites. Eight of the jurors are men; four are women.

People of the State of Illinois 1, Robert Kelly 0.

It's hard not to have some suspicions about the process here, but maybe it's a little early to start saying the fix is in, no? After all, we've all seen the endless list of accusations, and one has to imagine that the tales likely to come from the courtroom will test any sane person's gag reflex. It's possible/probable/likely that this trial might end up being less than fair, but let's give it a little time to see for whom that's the case.

Just so you don't leave this post with an icky feeling, here's some music from Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.

R. Kelly Sex Tape Trial: A Jury of His Peers? [Blender Blog]
Union Gap - Young Girl 1968 [YouTube]

The jurors who will be subjected to a number of Sexfacts previously inconceivable:

- An African-American woman whose husband is a Baptist pastor, and who lives in the same Chicago suburb as Kells.
- An African-American man who was only familiar with "I Believe I Can Fly", and dislikes seeing pornography behind the counter at 7-Eleven.
- The white "vice president of national accounts for an unnamed company" who believes Kelly is guilty, but who also believes he can provide him a fair trial.

Sadly, the woman who described Kelly as "a musical genius" and "the pied piper" was not selected; nor was a gentleman of advanced age who stated that "My son says nature already provided an age of consent—puberty. It made sense to me." With those sort of standards, how are they ever going to find 16 people to fill that jury box?

In case this trial never actually happens, there's always the festivities as imagined on TV's The Boondocks.

3 Kelly jurors picked 1st day [Chicago Sun-Times]

• A woman who was at one time in love with R. Kelly was allegedly paid an undisclosed amount by one of the singer's aides to hand over a tape of a sexual encounter between her, Kells, and an underage girl. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• The Tribune is liveblogging the whole trial as best they can. One detail: Two men who played on the singer's contribution to the Ali soundtrack by holding up a sign that said "R. Kelly World's Greatest Pedophile." Clever? [Chicago Tribune]
• Kells' normal Thursday-night basketball game in the south Chicago suburb of Markham was marked by him angrily hurling a basketball at a reporter who'd stopped by to watch the game/come up with metaphors for future stories about the trial. Also, a former opponent of the singer's claims that he insists on playing point guard and that he "hogs the ball and shoots all the time." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• What's the best way to maximize pageviews from a big news event that will bring more people to your newspaper's Web site than ever? A photo gallery! [Chicago Tribune]

Meanwhile, Sony has invited fans of all ages to share photos of their finest hair braidings, in honor of his latest single, "Hair Braider." Just click on a photo (like JAMILAHWILLIAMS' here) and give it a rating.

★ Lookin' like SPAGHETTI!
★ Super tight
★ Cornrows
★ Frizzy
★ Straight back wack

While none of the allegations really change the way I feel about his music (if you destroyed every album made by an artist that used their fame to have sex with an underage girl, there wouldn't be a Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame), it's clear this goes beyond some Steven Tyler-esque passing fancy and into some serious pathological issues. I'll live without the next crazy sex metaphor if it means Kelly's taken off the street and given the counseling he clearly needs.

R. Kelly Trial: A Timeline [MTV]
Kelly wants to see your braids! [R-Kelly.com]
[Hairbraiding photo: R-Kelly.com]

I mean—the autotuning? The slowed Swishahouse-style chorus effect? C'mon Kells, this just isn't good. What happened to the Chocolate Factory, buddy? Those were the good old days. Maybe it's just me. Disagree if you choose, but please explain yourself if you do.

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**NEW** R.Kelly - Hair Braider [YouTube]

Each point in the so far three-part series doesn't necessarily merit its own space, and none of the news is particularly new (which Wyman admits, stating the "Sexfacts" are "based on reporting from the few reputable outlets that have bothered to tell people about him"). But when everything is laid out on one page, the stomach churns a bit.

A few selections:

• In one of his infrequent interviews, this one on Primetime Live, Kelly was asked about these predilections. "For an older man to have sex with an underage girl—do you see that as immoral?" he was asked. "Rephrase the question," Kelly said. The reporter said: "For an older man to have sex with an underage girl—someone under 17—do you see that as immoral, if they're in love?" Kelly responded: "I really can't be the judge of that."

• In another interview, Kelly said: "I'm not who these people are talking about. I'm not a criminal. I think I'm the only one that can understand how [Osama] bin Laden feels [...] being someone that's hunted down or being someone that's constantly made to look like the devil himself."

• In 1998, Kelly picked up a 16-year-old girl at the so-called "Rock 'n' Roll McDonalds" in Chicago, just north of the Loop. They had an affair that lasted until she told him she was pregnant, GQ reported; one of Kelly's associates drove her to the abortion clinic.

• After the notorious videotape came to light, R. Kelly's longtime publicist, Regina Daniels, had this to say when asked about the child sex charges: "There are a lot of people who are very much a player-hater of Robert. . . . All I can go by is the years that I've worked with him and what I've seen. I'm not saying anybody is beyond doing what I don't see, but I'm not looking under the covers with him. All I know is that he has presented himself to me to be a respectable person and that is what I can go by."

If you want the lurid "urinating in the mouth" details, you'll have to go to Wyman's site, because frankly, it seems too early to be posting anything of that sort. Nonetheless, I found myself wondering what revelation would finally push me over the edge with Kells. Fortunately or unfortunately, with his oft-delayed trial approaching, I might find out what my "Sexfacts" threshold is, all the while keeping my enjoyment of the remix to "Ignition" on the other side of the scale. Is there a point where you have to judge the artist alongside the art? Trapped In The Closet counts as art, right?

R. Kelly SexFacts™! [Hitsville]
More R. Kelly SexFacts™! [Hitsville]
R. Kelly SexFacts™, Part 3: The Godfather Who Shagged Me! [Hitsville]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: Have you ever wondered what would happen if R. Kelly redid "Real Talk" as a song that rhymed a little bit more, made him sound like he was saying each word through his teeth and a Vocoder, and had Ne-Yo as the target of its ire? Then you'll be very happy to hear "I'm A Beast," during which R. takes down people who are jacking his style. R. doesn't name names throughout the song, though it's pretty obvious that one of the people he's really unhappy with is his ex-opener Ne-Yo, who's currently suing R. in part because he doesn't think the Pied Piper of R & B is as awesome as he is. And the song even has a happy ending: It closes out with R. promising that there will be a remix where he'll finally call out specific targets—although I'm hoping that it will be less rage-y and more appropriate for spins during late nights at the club.

WHERE TO FIND IT: SOHH's Ya Heard? Blog, which astutely points out that "dude seems mad angry." Gee, you think?

It was rumored Kelly slept with the Daniels' then 21-year-old daughter, but was unconfirmed until recently, when Daniels, a respected music retail vet, came forward on Guy Black's morning show.

"He crossed the line with my daughter," Daniels said. "It didn't get to the extreme of that [sex tape] video or else I wouldn't be here, if you know what I'm talking about . . . When you're 21, and if you've been there already like I've been many years ago, you're still 15 to 16 mentally. You're vulnerable."

Kells—who, for his part, has several other problems pending (kiddie porn trial starts May 9! Maybe! Who knows!)—says that the Daniels initially saw "no problem with the relationship—indeed they encouraged it—while Ms. Daniels was on Mr. Kelly's payroll." George Daniels, meanwhile, says that parents need to keep an eye out for predators with the patience to see a (very) long-range plan finally come together: "There are guys who sit around and give your child a couple of bucks to go to school and then wait until they get a little older, then they set that trap."

George Daniels Says R. Kelly Slept With His Daughter [Vibe]
New R. Kelly Controversy? [Chicago Sun-Times]

According to the lawsuit, the concert was actually canceled on Dec. 18—two days beforehand, and a day before the Utah traffic stop that eventually led to Kelly missing one hearing and being hauled into court under penalty of jail time. Kelly's fear of flight and insistence on traveling from city to city by bus, coupled with the crazy winter weather that's been going on in flyover country, probably contributed to the anticipatory weather cancellation. Not for anything, but if Kells had driven up to do a stripped-down version of the show on his own, would the promoter have been satisfied? I mean, I'm sure I would have loved it, but something tells me that he'd be only slightly less aggravated.

R. Kelly Sued — Disorder in the Court! [TMZ]
[Photo: AP]

News to me, but maybe chalked up to different gossip sites in our bookmarks. And perhaps already plenty dizzy from the intoxicated disco stomp of "Flashing Lights," Kells takes a moment from a perfunctory verse to assure that his only transgressions are non-narcotic, unless you count a healthy weed habit. That aside's the only standout part of a mixtape-worthy-but-little-more guest spot, but at least this Romulus-transfusion will extend the life of our favorite Graduation tune a little while longer.

Kanye West feat. R. Kelly - "Flashing Lights (Remix)" [YouTube via Blender]

"Plaintiffs allege that an unknown representative of R. Kelly urged Rowe to terminate Smith from the tour given the audience's and critics' more favorable reaction to Smith than the reaction to R. Kelly," the suit states. Compound Touring spent "substantial monies in preparation for the tour and turned down other touring and performance opportunities for Smith in reliance on Rowe's agreement that Smith would perform on the tour," according to the suit.

Since Ne-Yo never even made it through a week of the tour before being sent home to play cellphone Tetris and have sex, he claims he's still owed $735,000, though the suit is looking for "unspecified damages." But perhaps the R. merely wanted to hang on to that three-quarters-of-a-million dollars for legal fees and/or speeding tickets?

Ne-Yo Sues Over R. Kelly Tour Dismissal [Billboard]