No nonsense this time, just wall-to-wall singing for the final performance show of American Idol season 11. Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips faced off in three rounds; for Round 1, they did songs chosen by American Idol creator Simon Fuller. The contestants chose their favorite song of the season for the second outing, and the final round saw them performing what would be their first single if they win. Read on for the round-by-round breakdown.

Before we get to the good stuff, we’re contractually obligated to mention the performances by Jason Derulo and season 10 winner Scotty McCreery. Derulo made his triumphant, neck brace-free return with the new song “Undefeated,” which I guess all you guys wrote the lyrics to along with Coca-Cola or something? Anyway, it was good to see him healthy again, working a sweat and busting out some fly moves all across the stage. Basically, it was like watching a bizarro, likeable version of Chris Brown.

And to close out the show, Scotty McCreery performed the song that soundtracks all the eliminated Idols’ nightmares, “Please Remember Me.” If you don’t listen to country that often (i.e. only when it’s on Idol), that kid’s voice just comes out and shocks the s*** out of you. Every. Single. Time. It’s like aged molasses dripping out of a vintage clay pitcher held by the most innocent-looking  cartoon 10-year-old. Hard to process.

Now, to the real issues.

ROUND 1

Jessica opened the show with “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston. Jessica’s been invincible with Whitney all season, and this was no different. Just because we expect her to be flawless when she sings this song doesn’t mean it still isn’t impressive when she delivers.

Jessica Sanchez, “I Have Nothing”

Phil countered with a slowed down version of the classic “Stand By Me”  by Ben E. King. The new arrangement was daring, since it removed all the original’s familiarity. And we’re not sure his voice is strong enough to reinvent such an iconic tune. That said, he still has a refined sound he didn’t have earlier this year.

Phillip Phillips, “Stand By Me”

Round 1 winner: Randy Jackson and Jennifer Lopez handed this round to Jessica, and we’d have to agree.

ROUND 2

Jessica chose to perform “The Prayer” by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli, which is the song that got her into the Top 24. We were a little disappointed, since she already gave us a ballad highlighting her voice’s power. But then she held out that “alllll” allll the way to the sky and we changed our minds. Everything seems effortless with her: the key changes, the crescendos and decrescendos, the vibrato, any other music-related term ending in a vowel, she can do it naturally.

Jessica Sanchez, “The Prayer”

Phil chose “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)”, which he sang in the Top 10 for Billy Joel week. This one saw him moving back into Dave Matthews territory, but it was certainly entertaining, and more fun than Jessica’s. But that doesn’t necessarily mean better.

Phillip Phillips, “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)”

Round 2 winner: Steven Tyler gave it to Jessica, JLo gave it to Phillip, and Randy felt it was a tie. Well, we’ll gladly play the role of tiebreaker here: Jessica won. This is a singing competition, yes?

ROUND 3

Jessica’s potential winning single was a syrupy piece of disposable pop balladry called “Change Nothing.” Better title: “Change EVERYTHING (Caps Lock)”. Where was the energy, the soul, the trademark fierceness?? Who advised her to do three slow songs? We know Jessica can be just as captivating as Phil on stage, but we didn’t see it tonight. As for her performance, Randy thought she did the best she could with a bad song. We’d agree, although there was some pitchiness sneaking in. Man, that song was a dud.

Jessica Sanchez, “Change Nothing”

Phil’s single was a folk number called “Home” and despite the fact that it was a total Mumford & Sons rip-off, it sounded good. Or maybe it was because of that fact. Either way, it was much more marketable and listenable than Jessica’s cut. Phil flexed his “actual singer” muscles again here, but we’re not so sure it deserved that judges’ standing ovation. Also, our heads almost exploded when JLo said, “There’s nothing on the radio that sounds like that.” So she only listens to talk radio, then? Like, JLo…there’s a hit song that sounds the same and has THE SAME NAME.

Phillip Phillips, “Home”

Round 3 winner: Judges say Phil, we’d have to agree.

Best of the night: Jessica Sanchez’s first song, “I Have Nothing.” But did she turn in her best performance too early in the show? 

Worst of the night: Jessica’s strategy. We don’t know who made her big decisions last night, but they totally buried her personality. Phil was able to display his artistic and energetic sides, but Jessica relied on vocals alone. Even though she has a vibrant, soulful stage presence, it was nowhere to be found.

Honestly, this could go either way. Phil showed more evolution throughout the season and peaked in these last two weeks. Jessica had a crazy number of honest-to-God “moments” this year, but didn’t really deliver any last night. It’s hard to compare a singer-songwriter and a budding diva, so it comes down to what people look for in an Idol: Do they want an artist with vocal limitations, or a vocal powerhouse who’s still figuring out her musical identity? Tonight we’ll have our answer.

Who do you think will take the title? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Well, at last we have a match-up for next week’s American Idol finale — and it wasn’t quite what we expected. All three of the contestants remaining as of Wednesday night (May 16) delivered shakier-than-usual performances, and even though we viewed Joshua Ledet as the night’s winner, America felt differently. After 90 million (!) votes, Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips were catapulted to the title bout. Of course, before we learned the identities of our two finalists, we had to sit through about 15 minutes worth of in-show commercials. Thank God for that Adam Lambert performance to break it up.

To start the night off, the trio performed The Beatles‘ “Got To Get You Into My Life” but it was sort of in a cheesy, brass-heavy lounge lizard arrangement. Luckily, the singers managed to shine, each showing a confidence in their ability to deliver on any song, no matter how curious the interpretation.

As for Jimmy Iovine’s critiques, they were mostly in line with ours (*pats self on back*). However, he had Phil’s Bob Seger cover at the top of his list. During each segment, Jimmy offered some high praise, perhaps a sign that stardom may yet lie ahead for more than one Idol finalist. He said Joshua was an exciting showman who’s good enough to sound great on a song that doesn’t even fit his style. He said Jessica was worthy of singing at the Grammys (though we’re not sure if that’s a compliment, considering who’s graced that stage in recent years). And in rating Phil, Jimmy lauded his originality and willingness to take risks.

For the first guest artist performance, newly resurfaced pop singer Lisa Marie Presley turned out the season’s most blatant display of lip-synching with her new song “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.” The song was… fine. But it seemed she’s trying pretty hard to capitalize on Lana Del Rey‘s moody chanteuse vibes. And also on Lana’s swaying awkwardly vibes.

Later in the show, Ryan Seacrest asked actress/singer Rita Wilson and music multi-hyphenate Carole Bayer Sager — who were in attendance — their thoughts on the death of Donna Summer. “Her music really did define a decade,” Rita told him. “You couldn’t live in the ’70s and not sing along to every single one of her songs.”

Carole added: “Donna was a friend. I think she had one of the greatest voices of all decades. I think she was amazing.”

Next, Adam Lambert got on stage to perform “Never Close Our Eyes” in all its glammy neon, dance-pop glory. It was energetic and surprisingly tame, keeping the focus on his powerful howl. And, man, those high notes are still something else.

Then, it was the moment we’ve all been waiting (and waiting… and waiting) for. Seacrest excitedly asked that they dim the lights, and announced that Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips would be moving on to the finale. So it’s the end of Joshua Ledet’s run. He said farewell by singing “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World”, the song that gave us chills last week. In a sweet gesture, this time he brought his mom on stage.

Whatever your thoughts, I think we can agree the two most marketable singers advanced. Josh is a special talent, but not in the Idol “tweens telling their parents to hand over the credit card so they can download his new album” kind of way. Jessica and Phillip are more bankable in that respect. And when 90 million votes come to the same conclusion, it’s hard to disagree.

We’ll miss Josh, but we couldn’t ask for a better finale match-up, considering the clash of styles: the dudely heartthrob vs. the fierce future diva. Idol history sides with Phillip, but Jessica’s had some jaw-dropping moments that could buck the trend. Can’t wait to see how it shakes out.

Next week: A champion is finally, FINALLY crowned!

Who will you be pulling for in the finale? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

The Top 3 had their grand homecomings on Wednesday night’s (May 16) episode of American Idol, so we got an interesting glimpse into their pre-fame lives. And we got three rounds of singing: the judges chose the songs in round one, the Idols chose their second, and Jimmy Iovine picked their final numbers. At this stage in the game you have to start thinking about marketability, and that was apparent in the choices. Joshua Ledet aimed to prove he’s not just an outdated soul crooner, that  Phillip Phillips is more than a Dave Matthews retread, and that Jessica Sanchez can give moment-less songs a moment. Read on to see if they came through.

All three Idols got the presidential treatment for their hometown hero visits — private planes, police motorcades, glad-handing and all. Josh returned to Westlake, LA to a giant crawfish boil and the first sellout at the local arena. As for Jessica, she performed on an aircraft carrier (her dad’s in the Navy) and we learned she was a home-schooled dork (her words). As for Phil, he got a plate of nachos named after him at his favorite local haunt, and we saw that his dad is usually packin’ heat (sort of comes with the territory when you own a pawn shop).

But enough folksy family nonsense, let’s get judgy.

THE GOOD

For Joshua Ledet’s final song, Jimmy pitched the juicy gopher ball of “No More Drama” by Mary J. Blige, and Josh smashed it out of the park. The last minute or so was special, commanding, ferocious. This dude was born in the wrong decade, for real.

In a move that shows he’s got that Survivor scheming going on, Josh chose John Lennon‘s “Imagine” to prove he’s not a one-trick pony. Not to get all hyperbolic like the judges, but at times it was almost like hearing Stevie Wonder cover it. The amount of control Josh has developed in these final weeks is astounding and could lead to the title.

Joshua Ledet, “Imagine”

For Phillip Phillips’ last song, Jimmy chose Bob Seger‘s “We’ve Got Tonight,” which had us face-palming ourselves: “Duh, why hasn’t Phil done Seger yet?!” This delicate one could’ve gone either way, but Phil shocked the world here. It was slightly higher than we’re used to hearing him, and he was right on key and right on melody. Phil sounded like an actual, normal singer. Weird! And really good!

Phillip Phillips, “We’ve Got Tonight”

Though we would’ve liked to see Jimmy pick a bigger song for Jessica, his choice of “I’ll Be There” by The Jackson 5 turned out wonderfully. Jessica was silky smooth, pitch perfect, and tone- perfect (drawing comparisons to little Michael Jackson). Expertly done.

Jessica Sanchez, “I’ll Be There”

For Phil’s first song, Steven Tyler chose the Madcon version of “Beggin’” by The Four Seasons, to see if he could carry a strong melody (which he did later with Seger). Phil gave the chorus his own flourish, but kept the core recognizable part. In that sense, it was basically like seeing an actual accomplished band cover a song. It was a focused, passionate take that got Steven to say Phil “could be a new age Boss, a new Springsteen.” We can’t say anything, on account of that earlier Stevie Wonder comment.

For the dealer’s choice round, Jessica made one of the ballsier picks with “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith. It was a much more approachable song than her first (which we’ll get to) and she turned out a buttery smooth cover better than Steven’s version. Which he readily admitted: “You just took a great song and made it greater.” Can’t ask for higher praise than that from a song’s original singer. But that doesn’t mean Randy Jackson didn’t trot out his own high praise. This is not made up, he said “Yo, whoa, I’m like, yo. Aight.” That was actually our reaction when we heard she was THREE YEARS OLD when that song came out.

THE SO-SO

Randy picked Etta James‘ “I’d Rather Go Blind” for Joshua Ledet’s first song. Even though we’re suckers for the vintage microphone, this song didn’t do it for us. The first half was too low for Josh — granted, that was probably for the key change, after which he was in his wheelhouse. A few weeks ago, this makes it into the Good section, but it was too inconsistent for a late performance.

For his own choice, Phil selected “Disease” by Matchbox Twenty, accompanied by the sexy sax lady, as always. He gave a smoldering performance, letting the song do most of the talking. It was solid, but he didn’t seem to be pushing himself on this one. Again, a few weeks ago this is stamped with the Good label. Though the judges weren’t crazy about it, tween girl voters will be.

THE BAD

Commence more Jessica conspiracy theories: The judges pick a wheelhouse song for Josh and give him the auto standing O, then give Jessica the uber-delicate “My All” by Mariah Carey, and she bombs (relatively speaking). Verrrry fishy. The real problem here is that it’s hard to judge any Jessica performance without now comparing it to last week’s game-changer. Like Josh on his first song last night, she struggled with the low notes. But from there her voice never found its footing, sounding less like a vibrato and more warbly, searching for the right pitch and tone throughout.

Best of the night: Joshua Ledet’s “No More Drama” was good enough to land him in the finale, but that doesn’t always mean the votes will follow.

Worst of the night: This will strike a blow to the “we need a girl to win Idol” contingent, but it’s undeniable that Jessica’s first performance (“My All”) was one of her weakest of the season.

Tonight: The live results show with performances from Season 8′s Adam Lambert and Lisa Marie Presley. Huh, so she’s still a thing? OK then.

Who do you think will make the final cut? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

The crowd was extra screamy on American Idol Wednesday night (May 9); they wanted a spectacle. And early in the episode we got the sense we’d get one, as the final four Idols seemed to be in that rare phase where competitors push each other to new heights. We’re not saying it was The Beatles vs. the Beach Boys, but let us enjoy the moment, ok?

We had two themes last night: songs about California or from California-based artists, and songs that the contestants wish they had written. But when the singing’s good enough, you forget about categories and rules and genres. And last night, the singing was good enough to toss that crap to the side. Both Joshua Ledet and Jessica Sanchez treated us to seething, passionate, otherworldly second performances. The kind of vocal displays that pulverize the thick leaden shell surrounding our cynical hearts and cause us to get all overwhelmed and verklempt. Let’s get to it.

THE JAW-DROPPING, LARYNX-SHREDDING, OTHER-LEVEL FILTHINESS

So here’s the scenario: Joshua Ledet had just unleashed his triumphant second performance on the world (which we’ll get to in a sec). It was a bring-the-house-down, cannot-be-topped affair. So Jessica Sanchez comes out immediately after and has the tall order of singing Jennifer Hudson’s version of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” by Jennifer Holliday. And, my God was it good. She had this new fierceness in her eyes, and we learned she has the killer instinct, delivering fatal blow after fatal blow. There was no time to recover or process what you were hearing, but you knew it was special. We basically reacted the same way this My Little Pony did.

As for Josh, he did his part in turning the stage into a slaughterhouse with “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World” by James Brown and Betty Jean Newsome. Josh was born to perform this song on this show, and he gave what will end up being one of the most enduring Idol performances ever. Not only that, but he showed some rare growling ‘tude, proving he’s not just a robot who can wail, but that he can channel all that soul. You know that new Lee Fields song, “Faithful Man“? That’s what it was like. Most predictable standing ovation of the season.

THE GOOD

For Josh’s first song warm-up, he did Josh Groban‘s “You Raise Me Up” and turned the trad-style vocal into a slow-build gospel hymn. He still has some issues with the lower registers, but his rough style inherently distracts from any weaknesses.

Like her second song, Jessica’s warm-up was a mammoth dragon-slayer of a song: Etta James‘ version of “Steal Away” by Jimmy Hughes. She peppered it with a little too much vibrato throughout (triggering our Josh Alarms), but underneath that was a handful of undeniable, killer moments. As we found out in her later song, she can hold out a strong note without the warbling — so like Josh, she’s learning to control her weapons.

Phillip Phillips‘ second song was the lovely “Volcano” by Damien Rice. Jimmy Iovine said with this song Phil shook the Dave Matthews comparisons and became his own performer. We’re not so sure about that, but we still thoroughly enjoyed this raw, intimate display. In one of Jennifer Lopez‘s increasingly common bouts of hyperbole, she said it was “one of the most beautiful, poignant moments” of the show’s history. (Keep in mind, she’s only been on for two seasons.)

Phil’s second song was the standout, but his rendition of “Have You Ever Seen The Rain” by Creedence Clearwater Revival was solid as well. He managed to stick to the melody while still dabbling in some of his improvisational Phil-isms, showing some nice balancing skills that were missing earlier in the competition.

Hollie Cavanagh chose one of the ultimate singer’s songs from the ’80s: Journey‘s “Faithfully.” She threw us for a loop, seeming almost nonchalant to start, before letting the song jolt her to the high heavens. Randy Jackson, who performed with Journey, said she did Steve Perry proud. Of the first round, her song choice was the most vocal-centric, and she thrived under that microscope.

Phil and Josh teamed up again, this time for “This Love” by Maroon 5. (Um, doesn’t The Voice have an embargo on the Levine songbook?) And their rendition was the best “This Love” has sounded since, oh, 2003.

THE SO-SO

Hollie was the only performer last night who came up short the second time around. Her cover of Bonnie Raitt‘s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” was technically sound, but didn’t leave a visceral impact on the listener. Sometimes with ballads, Hollie turns out a “wake me up at the 90-second mark” performance. This was one such performance.

Jessica and Hollie paired up for The Bangles‘ “Eternal Flame” and both were a little pitchy on their first verses. The harmonies in the middle sounded excellent, but they found themselves searching for the pitch again by the big finish.

The Top 4 also teamed up to sing “Waiting For A Girl Like You” by Foreigner and it was…odd. We don’t know if it was the arrangement, or lack of rehearsing, but everyone seemed to be singing in weirdly low registers. Sure, they each got a growly run in, but it was too late at that point.

BEST OF THE NIGHT: Jessica Sanchez and Joshua Ledet closed out the show with stunning performances. But if we had to pick, we’d give Jessica the edge because the song she chose is relentless. There’s no tension and release, no slow build; it’s all climax. And she sustained it for the whole thing.

WORST OF THE NIGHT: The quartet’s throwaway interpretation of Foreigner.

TONIGHT: Jennifer Lopez and Season 7′s David Cook perform (separately) on the live results show.

Who ya got, Jessica or Joshua? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Ryan Seacrest recently celebrated garnering over 100 million views on his YouTube channel, but Justin Bieber — he who could probably get 100 million views on a video on YouTube before it’s even uploaded — knows Seacrest can do better. Ryan and The Bieb team up to create the Most Viral Video Ever, and honestly, the video has it all: puppies! Babies! Cover songs! (Specifically, Katy Perry‘s “Part Of Me.”) Double dream hands! But most importantly, it has the most important element of getting a viral hit: Justin Bieber.

Just how Internet-breaking is Bieber? Apparently, his “Boyfriend” video, which premiered yesterday (May 3), broke Vevo’s 24-hour watch record, according to a tweet from the site. “Final count coming in a couple of days, but it’ll well over 5 Million. #BoyfriendBrokeTheRecord. Already. @JustinBieber swag.”

justin bieber: they want a piece of him

10 Photos »

We knew a tough elimination was coming on last night’s American Idol results show, but we never thought it’d be lone country holdout Skylar Laine. Isn’t this supposed to work like the presidential primaries — once it’s whittled down to one country candidate, the country fans all show up in support of the lone survivor, right? Anyway, poli sci was never our forte. But at least we got to witness two Coldplay songs and Carrie Underwood‘s triumphant return to the Idol stage before our little spark plug burned out.

Ryan Seacrest started off by getting all the formalities out of the way, a/k/a by revealing Joshua Ledet was safe. What I’m saying is, when Jimmy Iovine describes your prior night’s performance as “sky opening,” you’ve got a good thing going.

Speaking of no drama, “Paradise” by Coldplay! Look, we’re not trying to pile on the divisive Brits during their Idol debut. We tend to enjoy them around these parts, but this performance of this song did nothing to combat the argument that they’re nothing more than flaccid anthem peddlers. Don’t worry, Round 2 was better. And we still love the blacklight-neon, skid row-on-acid aesthetic.

Coldplay, “Paradise” (Live on American Idol)

Jimmy then commended Phillip Phillips for fighting through his kidney illness, but swiftly called him out for coasting. Soften them up and then STRIKE: classic Iovine rope-a-dope! Despite having arguably the weakest performances of the Top 5 on Wednesday, Phil survived. The show joked about his sickness a few weeks ago, but it’s clearly taking its toll. Next week we’ll find out if he has a Michael Jordan “Flu Game” in him.

Next we got the delightful Carrie Underwood, performing the aptly named “Blown Away” off her new album of the same name. And it was all kinds of good. She was like a neo-Stevie Nicks up there, blond locks and flowy dress all blowing in the wind, making for a compelling and eminently listenable piece of television. Seven years ago, people. That’s when she won. We are THE OLDS.

Now, let’s chat about vocal wunderkind/stylistic talking point Jessica Sanchez. Jimmy loved her rendition of “You Are So Beautiful” but could not abide that super-tight dress she wore for “Proud Mary.” A “travesty,” he called it, before saying that the stylists are “torpedoing” her. Is he right? Yeah, they should probably tone it down a bit. Plus, why distract from her voice? But to paraphrase JLo: Hollywood just has a higher threshold for raciness, so dig THAT, flyover states!

Time for the sad part. Hollie Cavanagh and Skylar found themselves on the bottom. Jimmy felt they both knocked their first songs out of the park and turned out middling second songs. But before things were sorted out (Seacrest dramatic pause) — it was time for another Coldplay song.

This time they did “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall,” which fared much better and had all the grandiosity we’ve come to expect from both Idol and the British megastars. As far as spectacles go, it’s hard to beat Chris Martin galloping around stage as confetti rains on the crowd and the song hits a crescendo. And allow us to throw some shine on guitarist Jonny Buckland: He’s an underappreciated, clean, consistent guitarist. That is all.

Coldplay, “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall” (Live on American Idol)

OK, back to the bottom. When asked how they felt about the results, both Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler said it was the best Top 5 the show’s ever had. That didn’t stop Skylar from looking like the saddest puppy dog; we just wanted to hug her and pet her head and tell her it would all be OK.

But it wasn’t, America. It wasn’t OK. You just took her back behind the shed (you just know Skylar has a shed back home), and put her out of her misery. We’re astounded that Hollie has cracked the Top 4. We don’t mean to be mean, but it’s so clear she’s missing that performer gene that the other four (now three) have. Still, we’re happy for her, she’s dealt with all the criticism very gracefully.

As for Skylar: You know what, girl? You go get a headstart on cutting your album and making BUCKS before the rest of ‘em.

Did you think Hollie would outlast Skylar? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Wednesday night’s (May 2) themes on American Idol were the ’60s and Britpop, which got us excited to see who pulled the lucky straw to sing Oasis‘ “Wonderwall,” and maybe even some Pulp action! (Now Jarvis Cocker is a mentor we would literally pay money to see.) Alas, by Britpop they apparently meant any British songs other than the Beatles, Stones or actual Britpop.

Steven Van Zandt of E Street Band and Sopranos fame was this week’s mentor, and he managed to dispense pretty good advice despite sitting like A.C. Slater the whole time. With only a few weeks left, the contestants can see the finish line, and it looks like they’re getting that final burst of adrenaline, which is great for us. It’s getting a lot harder to separate the contestants at this point, so read on to see who has the edge.

But first, a quick roundup of the ephemeral nonsense: Ryan Seacrest aimed to quash the budding romance between his girlfriend Julieanne Hough and Phillip Phillips (we’re calling it “Julip”) by pointing out that Phil has a girlfriend. “She’s with us tonight, and even better news, he’s into brunettes.” And with that, Seacrest ensured that the poor gal would need an armored guard to leave the premises.

And let’s talk about Randy Jackson‘s attire for a second. Randy always makes odd accessory choices, but last night dude was wearing a brooch.

C’mon, dog.

THE GOOD

Joshua Ledet turned out two solid songs, plus he carried his duet with Phil on The Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’.”  These last few weeks Josh has learned to hold back his voice’s more A.D.D, always-in-motion tendencies, realizing it makes for a bigger payoff if he doesn’t unleash until the end. Which is exactly what happened on his outstanding cover of The Bee Gees‘ “To Love Somebody.”

For his first song, The Temptations’ “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg,” Josh again stuck to the notes and melody, before a killer run near the end. Last night’s themes were made for Josh, because his voice is straight from the vinyl era, and he delivered. We’re not quite ready to compare him to James Brown, like JLo did, but he wins the night.

Jessica Sanchez saw Hollie Cavanagh‘s Tina Turner and raised her a Beyoncé, opening with a rousing performance of Ike and Tina Turner’s version of “Proud Mary” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. It was a large, entertaining spectacle featuring Jessica letting loose. Her second song was the complete opposite: an intimate, acoustic guitar-led cover of Joe Cocker’s version of “You Are So Beautiful” by Billy Preston. Spare and slow, it all came down to the high note at the end, which she held out evenly and beautifully to close out the precise, delicate performance.

Jessica Sanchez, “Proud Mary”

Hollie Cavanagh is back, people! She gave us Ike and Tina’s “River Deep – Mountain High,” heeding Steven Van Zandt’s instructions about worrying less about consciously entertaining the viewers, and instead just burrowing into the song. It worked; by the second verse she lost herself in it, doing a little Tina walk, and for once she was fun to watch. Jennifer Lopez noted that this was the first time Hollie showed she could lead a big production. Later she performed a stripped-down version of “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis. As we started grumbling that Hollie was back to her soggy vanilla wafer self, the girl dug into it and reminded us how huge her voice is. This week, Hollie showed she belongs in the Top 5.

Hollie Cavanagh, “River Deep – Mountain High”

Man, we haven’t gotten to Skylar Laine yet? Well, she wouldn’t be denied last night, either, first performing CCR’s “Fortunate Son.” We were salivating at the prospect of spunky Skylar taking on one of rock’s all-time snarly greats. And she sated our appetite, giving it her usual sass. The girl is just a natural up there. Next, she had her biggest stylistic stretch of the season, doing Dusty Springfield’s “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me.” It’s a song that’s so classic it’s genre-less, and she somehow avoided violating it with needless country ‘tude. Randy was exactly right when he said she is extremely believable onstage.

Skylar Laine, “The Fortunate Son”

For Phillip Phillips’ first song, he completely reinterpreted “The Letter” by The Box Tops. The original has a vocal gruffness that fits Phil, but the similarities end there. It’s a melody-heavy song, which Phil deconstructed into a folky groove. This was Phil in a nutshell: workmanlike and captivating.

THE SO-SO

Unfortunately, Phil’s second song was a tale of two parts. He did “Time Of The Season” by The Zombies (which just happens to be a frequent Dave Matthews Band live cover, ahem). The verses were ultra smooth and probably caused tween girls nationwide to start burn books about Phil’s girlfriend. But we couldn’t get over the slightly off high notes in the chorus. Phil always looks pained when he’s singing, but based on his forehead vein and the slight pitchiness, we think this time he actually was in pain.

THE BAD

Seriously, no “Wonderwall”? The hell, Idol?

Best of the night: The last minute of Joshua Ledet’s “To Love Somebody” may have been the best minute of the season. He just imposed his will on the song in that final stretch.

Worst of the night:  Steven Tyler underage groupie joke? Steven Tyler underage groupie joke: “The only thing that gives experience a run for its money…is a 16-year-old.” Ick.

Tonight: It doesn’t get much bigger than a Coldplay-Carrie Underwood double bill.

Who do you think will end up on the bottom? Seriously, because we have no idea. Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

American Idol‘s live elimination show on Thursday night (Apr. 26) was “over the top,” as Steven Tyler would say, bursting at the seams with three performances and a field trip (the contestants descended into the second circle of Hell a/k/a the TMZ offices). Before we learned that raspy rocker Elise Testone had tallied the fewest of the week’s 58 million votes, we were treated to the debut of the Queen Extravaganza, as well as performances by Katy Perry and Season 10′s Stefano Langone. Read on to see how it all played out.

The web-curated musicians in the Queen Extravaganza started things off with “Somebody To Love,” showcasing the lead singer’s uncanny vocal impersonation of Freddie Mercury. And although the backup singers seemed to be finding their footing, one of the guitarists did a back flip! So it was that kind of performance. Sure it wasn’t Queen, but it was still captivating.

It was good to see Ryan Seacrest was back to his amped-up self, after a rough Wednesday night in which he missed dress rehearsal because he was hooked up to an IV fighting a stomach bug. And that was before the entire nation found out his girlfriend Julianne Hough has the hots for Phillip Phillips. But we knew Seacrest was back to peak form when he tossed to Phil’s highlight reel, deadpanning that it was time to see how it went down “with ladykiller, here.” Phil appeared to be a lock for the bottom three, but Ryan was denied his cosmic retribution, because those ladies really come out of the woodwork for Phillip-squared.

Next, Season 10′s Stefano performed “I’m On A Roll.” Maybe it’s just because we have KP on the brain, but it felt like a dude’s version of a Katy Perry party-starter, (without all the twee boy band mugging you get with the One Directions of the world).

Stefano, “I’m On A Roll”

Of course, that was just a paltry appetizer for Perry’s main course. Ms. Perry dropped on-stage from the ceiling in full sexy fake Marine fatigues and purple hair (pretty sure that violates military code) to perform “Part Of Me.” Her latest meticulously engineered earworm included an extended nightvision military dance sequence. Like we said, it was an overblown night.

As for Jimmy Iovine’s critiques, they were pretty much in line with our views. However, he was ruthless with Skylar Laine‘s second song — as was America because she found herself in the bottom three.

Unsurprisingly, Hollie Cavanagh and Elise joined Skylar. But it came down to Hollie and Elise, a bottom-dwellers’ duel that ended the show’s streak of two consecutive results-show shockers. The voters ultimately decided to keep the tiny, technically skilled Hollie over the raucous, mercurial Elise. Elise left the show doing the song that resulted in her top moment of the season, “Whole Lotta Love.”

One thing before we start drooling over next week: In the TMZ segment, Jessica Sanchez admitted to having uploaded over 200 videos of herself singing on Youtube. Internet Army, FIND THEM. That is a direct order from First Lt. Perry!

Next week: Jennifer Lopez takes the Idol stage — perhaps to “Dance Again” in a perfume bottle?

Did you think Hollie would outlast Elise? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Queen returned to the American Idol stage Wednesday night (Apr. 25) to perform a medley of their hits with the final six contestants. Unfortunately, Roger Taylor and Brian May traveled sans Freddie Mercury hologram. (And in case his little stint with Lady Gaga didn’t convince you, May’s still got it, people.) After the medley, each Idol sang one Queen song and then one song of their own choosing. Find out who rocked us and who’s gonna bite the dust below.

There was very little fluff (and not a single Jimmy Iovine sighting! *tear*), so let’s get right to the performances.

THE GOOD

Skylar Laine first performed Queen’s “The Show Must Go On,” an excellent choice because she was able to manipulate the melody to give it that earnest country feel she’s so good at. And then, holy s*** she channeled the “goosie” power. The song was the judges’ unanimous favorite for Round 1, and it proved she is GAME READY. Her second song, Jason Aldean‘s “Tattoos On This Town” was generic country fare, but Skylar’s combination of vocal power, poise and charisma made the performance entertaining.

Joshua Ledet wowed us with his tender second performance, a cover of “Ready For Love” by India.Arie. He held back just enough to keep from Pacino-ing the song by going into screech mode.

Josh Ledet, “Ready For Love”

For the Queen round, Josh performed “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and gave it a nice neo-soul vibe. Both performances received a standing ovation from the judges because, ya know, death and taxes and all that. We loved Josh tonight, but there’s still something lost in translation over the airwaves based on how the judges squeal every time he graces the stage.

For her second song, Jessica Sanchez did a beautiful, understated rendition of Luther Vandross‘s “Dance With My Father.” The judges have been doubting her ability to make a song connect with the listener emotionally, and this silenced them. Jennifer Lopez said it may have been the best she’s ever heard someone sing that song.

Hollie Cavanagh gave a “meh” first performance, but with her second song — “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus — she redeemed herself, earning her the rare Not-Josh Standing Ovation. Graceful and near-perfect.

Elise Testone started off with Queen’s “I Want It All.” And with tambourine in hand, the season’s most inconsistent performer turned in another enthralling performance. Her voice was made to sing bluesy rock anthems that offer space to improvise.

THE SO-SO

Man, it pains us to put both Phillip Phillips performances here, but we have to because of bad song choice. First he gave us Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls” which is a very fun song, but his take sounded unexciting and monotonous, partly because the vocals in this song are literally (and purposely) monotonous at points. Works when you’re in Queen, not when you’re on Idol.

Next, Phil gave us Idol‘s first Dave Matthews Band song with “The Stone,” which is near and dear to this one-time DMB obsessive’s heart. While it was a very faithful cover, he chose one of the few DMB songs with no singalong “moment” for the listener to grasp onto. In that sense, he left you wanting more — but not in the “don’t stop!” way, more like the “that’s it?” way. Also, JLo said the choice was “too obscure and artsy,” which has to be the first time since 1993 anyone has described Dave as “obscure.”

Phillip Phillips, “The Stone”

Jessica’s first song was the legendary “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and while she didn’t perform it in the back of an AMC Pacer, she did give us this (why in black-and-white, we’re not sure):

The rocking “spit in my eye-eee-eye” bridge was buttressed by two slower parts for her mini version, demonstrating great agility. But she didn’t “let go” during the rock part. It was a good vocal performance, but a mediocre rock performance.

Hollie is familiar with the good vocal/boring performance conundrum, and that’s what she gave us with Queen’s “Save Me.” It was just so obviously a Hollie song: uplifting, choir-backed, traditional. It was begging for a moment, but Hollie never cashed in on it. Her problem is that she performs like a talented but old and boring singer. The fact that she’s so young only underscores the point.

For Elise’s second outing, she performed Jimi Hendrix‘s “Bold As Love.” Sooo, about that “bluesy rock anthems with space to improvise” thing. Yeah she went a little overboard here. Elise somehow managed to make Hendrix sound like Pink at times which, while sacrilegious, was sort of impressive from an artistic standpoint. But we agree with Randy Jackson: It felt like she was trying to beat the song into submission. When you don’t deliver on a song that pretty much defines your wheelhouse, you’re probably going to see yourself in the bottom three.

THE BAD

It was a rollercoaster night, but nobody flew off the tracks.

Best of the night: With her cover of “The Show Must Go On,” Skylar Laine was last night’s queen. (See what we did there?)

Worst of the night: JLo was digging it, but Elise’s rough “Bold As Love” cover steamrolled the groovy blues of the original.

Tonight: Katy Perry and Season 10′s Stefano Langone on the live elimination show.

Can Phillip Phillips survive his song choices? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Did You Hear?

:: Contrary to rumors and reports, LMFAO are not breaking up, and they’re not even feuding. They are just shufflin’, from now til eterenity. [Popdust]

:: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian hit a restaurant opening in NYC, looking fashionable in matching black outfits. But more importantly, what’s their celeb couple name? KanKim? KaWestian? Kimye? [Rap-Up]

:: Jay-Z has launched his own Facebook game, called “Empire”. So what does the game entail? “‘EMPIRE’ takes you on a journey from the streets of Marcy Housing in Brooklyn to the hotspots of the rich and famous: from hustler, to entrepreneur, to business mogul.” Do we get to marry Beyonce, too? [Rap-Radar]

:: Ryan Seacrest has signed on for at least two more years of American Idol. For a $15 million payday, there isn’t really a reason not to. [MTV]

:: Even Justin Bieber needs a bit of mascara from time to time. [Pink Is The New Blog]

Music on TV:

 :: Tonight Show with Jay Leno (NBC) — Adam Levine, Ziggy Marley
:: Late Show with David Letterman (CBS) — The War on Drugs
:: Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC) — LP
:: Conan (TBS) — Ben Kweller
:: The View (ABC) —  the Wanted
:: Live With Kelly (ABC) — Ashanti

After 53 million votes cast (good job, America!), we’re down to six contestants on American Idol. Colton Dixon found himself in the bottom three for the first time this season, but in a bit of a shocker he didn’t beat out consistent bottom-dwellers Elise Testone and Hollie Cavanagh. So the dreamy Colton and his skunk-hawk bid adieu, but not before we got to see a couple performances by LMFAO and Season 8 winner Kris Allen. Continuing Wednesday’s soul theme, the seven contestants started the show with the Motown classic “Dancing In The Street” by Martha and the Vandellas. Overall it was pretty unremarkable, with a couple singers searching for the right pitch. However, this awkward thing happened where a dancer was scrambling to pull her shirt down — er, up:

We really wouldn’t have noticed it without her flailing hands grabbing for cloth. We didn’t even have time to make that above Seinfeld joke at the time, though, because Interscope chairman Jimmy Iovine got right into the critiques. He felt Joshua Ledet and Phillip Phillips have the consistency to make the finale, and we agree; neither singer has turned in a clunker. He also thinks Skylar Laine is the best performer of the group. And since she has made a believer out of several country haters within the Idolator walls, we’d have a hard time arguing with that point.

Iovine also had some interesting things to say about Jessica Sanchez. While we are in awe of the maturity of her voice, he was finding it off-putting to hear her sing such adult songs, and put much of the “bad” song selection blame on himself.

Then, Season 8 champion Kris Allen performed his new song “The Vision Of Love.” It was a very listenable piece of mom-rock, and you should just go ahead and pencil in his new album as part of your Mother’s Day gift.

Kris Allen, “Vision Of Love” (Live on American Idol)

As for Wednesday night’s bubble performers, Jimmy liked that Hollie came out of her shell (it feels like someone says that about her every week…that’s one stubborn shell), but he still thinks she’s a long-shot for the finale. Same goes for Elise: The only way he envisions her in the finale is if she picks songs every single week that harness the rock energy she displayed on “Whole Lotta Love.”

As for Colton, Jimmy said that his performance was like a cross between 1985 Billy Idol (cool!) and Spider-Man (cool!). Spider-Man on Broadway, that is. (Oh…)

Then there was a nice package celebrating Dick Clark‘s legacy, narrated by Ryan Seacrest. The screeching tires you heard after that were from the painfully awkward left turn, as LMFAO stormed the stage to perform “Sorry For Party Rocking.” The performance was essentially the coolest pool party you’ve never been to.

So on the bottom, we had Elise, Hollie and Colton. The judges wouldn’t say if they thought America got it right…but we will: Yes, America got it right. Way to bounce back, country! Yes we can!

We thought for sure one of the blond ladies would be exiting last night. Like Jimmy, we were tepid on Colton’s song arrangements this week, but c’mon, he’s been far more consistent than Hollie and Elise.

But, again, what do we know? With no save left, Colton found himself on the chopping block. But ever the confident performer, he was already talking about taking the judges’ criticisms with him into the studio when he records his album.

Next week: Queen stops by — with Holo Freddie Mercury, we hope! — as the contestants fight to make the Top 5.

Would you buy an album by Colton Dixon? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

It was a Top 7 double dose on American Idol as the contestants each performed a hit from the 2000′s as well as a retro soul song. But overshadowing all that, and the drama of Jessica Sanchez‘s save, was the death of Dick Clark. So the show began with Ryan Seacrest saying a few words honoring his friend and mentor, before we got to the action. This week, we were spared the fashion montage and celebrity mentor, meaning it was two hours of all the singing and judging (and whatever it is that Steven Tyler does) that you could possibly handle.

Last night’s inspirational opening montage featured a T.S. Eliot quote about “the end,” which is well and good, but we’re pretty sure a lyric from Linkin Park’s “In The End” would’ve resonated more. Also, before we get to the performances, a quick note about Jennifer Lopez‘s getup. Hottest alien ever? You be the judge:

THE GOOD

Phillip Phillips started out with a total curve ball: Usher‘s “U Got It Bad.” Phil (and the sexy sax lady) turned out a sultry little number, as Phil bent the song to his will, showing an evolution he was lacking last week. For his second song — Wilson Pickett’s “In The Midnight Hour” — Phil gave his version of a power vocal, and it was one of his more captivating performances. This is the kind of week-to-week growth the judges like to see.

Phillip Phillips, “In The Midnight Hour”

In last night’s least surprising storyline, Jessica Sanchez vindicated the judges’ save with two almost-flawless performances. First was a cover of “Fallin’” by Alicia Keys, in which Jessica stepped into Skylar Laine‘s angry/feisty territory. Next she performed Otis Redding’s version of “Try A Little Tenderness” by Ray Noble Orchestra. You guys, this was just WAY too mature and full of stank for her age! Outstanding. JLo was exactly right when she said Jessica is so good that she plays with songs. It’s kind of like when Superman was a kid and had no idea how freakish it was that he was lifting cars.

Jessica Sanchez, “Fallin’”

Joshua Ledet first performed Fantasia‘s “I Believe,” and as long as he sticks to these big songs, we’re sticking with him. This one earned him the requisite standing ovation from the judges. Then he performed Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” and strayed dangerously close to over-singing territory, but managed to save that stuff for the climactic finish. Note to the judges: A standing ovation doesn’t mean anything if you do it every time…especially when you look pained as you’re getting up.

Skylar Laine started off with Lady Gaga‘s own country version of “Born This Way.” Skylar had trouble with a few of the lower notes in the beginning, but the verses were just chock full of country ‘TUDE to make up for it. We would’ve liked for her to balance that with a more sugary chorus, but we’re nitpicking. Plus, she absolutely obliterated the release at the end. Later, Skylar gave us a solid countrified version of Smokey Robinson’s “I Heard It Through The Grapevine.” She’s such a convincing little spark plug, and as Randy Jackson noted, it’s a party every time she’s on stage. Parties are pretty much the key to America’s heart, so she’s safe.

Whatever was missing from Hollie Cavanagh‘s first song (which we’ll get to below), she scratched that itch with Dusty Springfield’s “Son Of A Preacher Man.” Initially we thought we’d get a cookie-cutter outing here, but in a rarity for Hollie, this was a commanding performance.

Colton Dixon put his rock spin on Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance,” which was just begging to be remixed with some guitars and cymbal crashes. While his performance was spot-on, this was a strange case where the original pop version sounded more raw and subversive than the “edgy” rock remix. Since we know Colton is creative enough to boldly reshape songs (see below), our only qualm is that we wish he’d done something riskier with this one.

Colton Dixon, “Bad Romance” (Live on American Idol)

As Jimmy Iovine put it, Elise Testone “has a vacation home in the bottom three.” So she came out with the cannot-be-denied “No One” by Alicia Keys. Elise showed great control and held back any over-singing impulses, resulting in a compelling and even (we don’t say this often about Elise) sweet performance. In what cynics (read: we) would see as a savvy move, she informed America her dog is dying, thus securing all the dog lovers’ votes this week.

THE SO-SO

For her first song, Hollie had the unenviable task of singing Adele‘s “Rollin’ In The Deep.” Hollie vexes us. She can belt out this ultimate singer’s song, with few mistakes…and yet something doesn’t click. It’s almost like we’re sitting in on a voice coach showing people how to sing. There’s something missing on a visceral level.

So, yes, we said we wanted Colton to do a more off-the-wall reinvention, but his vision for Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September” just seemed to suck all the life out of the iconic original. It seemed like he reshaped it simply to please picky listeners like us by saying “Hey, look what I did to this song.” It was good, but it didn’t have that wow factor that he probably thought the arrangement would have.

Oh, Elise. Just when you take one step out of your bottom three vacation home, you fall right back in. With her rambunctious cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On,” all that restraint she demonstrated earlier was erased. In fact, she demonstrated the Josh “chew up the scenery” syndrome. That said, if the same exact thing had come out of Josh’s mouth, it probably would’ve earned him the world’s most labored standing ovation.

THE BAD

We’re retroactively putting America here (yeah, ALL OF YOU!) for trying to vote Jessica off the show last week. We hope you learned your lesson, nation.

Best of the night: Phillip Phillips and Jessica Sanchez each gave two knockout performances.

Worst of the night: Elise Testone’s forced cover of “Let’s Get It On.”

Tonight: LMFAO and Season 8 winner Kris Allen perform before the live elimination.

Somebody will go home tonight, but who? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Tonight’s American Idol began on a somber note as host Ryan Seacrest addressed the death of his good friend, mentor and colleague, Dick Clark.

“We can’t begin tonight’s show without acknowledging the passing of a television pioneer, and my dear friend, Dick Clark. Without Dick, a show like this would not exist. He will be missed greatly. Our thoughts and our prayers go out to his family,” Seacrest said. He then continued with a smile, “I know that he’s in a better place saying, ‘hey, let’s get on with the show, k?’ You got it, boss.”

Immediately upon hearing the news of Dick Clark’s death on Wednesday (Apr. 18), Seacrest tweeted “I am deeply saddened by the loss of my dear friend Dick Clark. He has truly been one of the greatest influences in my life.” That influence is readily apparent, as Seacrest has a hand in so many influential media outlets — from E! to Idolto the Olympics — a path which Clark laid out decades before. Since 2005, the two television personalities had worked together on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.

Over the course of a 65-year career in the entertainment industry, Dick Clark was bound to make some famous friends. The television and music mogul rubbed shoulders with artists long after he discovered or promoted them on his radio show, American Bandstand and annual New Year’s Eve spectacles, which is one reason so many artists are mourning his death. We’ve collected a gallery of photos of Clark hobnobbing with some of the biggest and most influential artists of the 1980s, 1990s and 2000s to represent his impact across so many generations. One thing is clear — if you have a hit on the radio, chances are you’ve met Dick Clark.

dick clark's life and times

9 Photos »

After 11 seasons of American Idol, we all know the results shows are just an hour-long Idol commercial. Sure, you get some quality performances thrown in (and last night’s by James Durbin and Jennifer Hudson were very entertaining), but usually it’s just a “fast forward until they announce the bottom three” affair. That was not the case Thursday, as the befuddling results almost turned the night into American Idol: Beyond Thunderdome.

As we always do, we were going to briskly rehash Jimmy Iovine’s critiques and the star performances and any quirky moments (like Phillip Phillips petting Colton Dixon‘s head, which happened and was amazing). And while we’ll get to the performances in a bit, there’s really only one thing to talk about. Let’s start at the beginning and try to relive this nightmare together so we can be better prepared if it ever happens again.

Ryan Seacrest gradually split the contestants up into two groups, in what we thought was just an overwrought way to drag out the drama, getting us to guess which group was the bottom three. But those sneaky Idol producers gave us a Sixth Sense-level twist, unveiling that the group consisting of Jessica Sanchez (our favorite from Wednesday night), Joshua Ledet (the judges’ favorite) and Elise Testone was the bottom. That’s when everyone in attendance lost their — how you say — s***.

Jimmy snidely remarked that he needs a new TV because what he heard Wednesday must’ve been different from what the voters heard. Randy Jackson summed it up thusly: “In 11 seasons of doing the show, I’ve never seen this happen. I’ve never said this, but America got it wrong tonight.”

Tell ‘em what time it is, Randy! So we gathered our thoughts, took a deep breath. Yes, America screwed up, but obviously Jessica and Joshua would be safe and we’d find Elise on the bottom and that was an acceptable, if not ideal, outcome.

And then…Seacrest announced that Jessica finished with the fewest votes. That’s when everyone in Thunderdome: Idol, as well as a certain recapper hunched over his computer, made a guttural bellow that could probably only be recreated if the Idol audience were to witness Simon Cowell slaughtering a herd of baby unicorns onstage.

America, seriously dog. Seriously?! Was this some grand dramatic ruse fixed by Nigel and the Idol masterminds? Before we could even process everything, poor Jessica was already warbling her way through the “sing for your life” phase of the show. But in the middle of her first verse, in an unprecedented move, the mutinous judges stormed on stage, grabbed the microphone from Jessica and unleashed their one save.

“We are saving Jessica without ANY DOUBT,” bellowed Randy, leader of the uprising as Jennifer Lopez prepared to unleash Jenny From The Block. Randy continued to excoriate the voters for their slight, and rightly so. (We just hope those same people don’t vote against Jessica out of spite next week.)

So, other than the far-and-away most talented singer of the season landing on the bottom, you guys wanna talk about anything else? How about the return of season 10 rocker James Durbin? He performed his single “Higher Than Heaven,” which was pretty rocking for Idol. The verses are about as heavy as you can get with corporate rock, and the song closed out with an old school hair metal solo and Durbin’s banshee howl. If that’s the song to introduce the “kids” to rock this season, we could certainly do worse. Approve!

James Durbin, “Higher Than Heaven” (Live on American Idol)

Then we saw the sublime Jennifer Hudson sing “Think Like A Man“, featuring Ne-Yo. As expected, she performed it like a bona fide diva. We like this semi-Sasha Fierce side of her. Approve!

Next week: America goes to its room to think about what it has done, and Jessica Sanchez hopefully makes good on her second lease on Idol life.

Were you as stunned by Jessica’s bottom finish as we were? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Last night’s American Idol was a weird one. Akon outdid Diddy as the season’s most inconsequential mentor (shocker!), while Steven Tyler went on an animal bender: He wore a gator skin robe and said things like “the crows may crow, but the hens deliver the goods.” (Translation: This season’s males can sing, but the females are next-level). The Top 7 took on songs from 2010 to today, which gave us a good look at the market value of the remaining contestants. In a pleasant surprise, some of our retro crooners had no problem going au courant. Head below to find out who’s ready to move some units right now and whose stock went down.

Also, adding to the night’s strangeness, did anyone see Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet in attendance? Oddly, it was never acknowledged, probably because Modern Family is up against Idol on Wednesday nights. Either that, or they didn’t want to shred a hole in the space-time continuum by showing Cam in two places at once. Anyway, on to the performances.

THE GOOD

Jessica Sanchez gave a rousing, mature performance of “Stuttering” by Jazmine Sullivan. Jessica’s voice has this amazing character and flair that it just should not have at age 16. Last night, she showed so much agility and precision, her voice an intricate weapon that she’s mastered at a very young age. Randy Jackson said it was superb, while Steven told her “every time I hear you sing, I forget where I am.” That could be due to certain other mitigating factors, though.

Judges’ favorite Joshua Ledet got his now-automatic standing ovation after performing Bruno Mars‘ “Runaway Baby.” Though he’s a soul balladeer, we think this type of cut fits Josh better: It enables him to oversing without actually sounding like he’s oversinging, just because the song is so big. Josh, more of this, please! (And less “scat-howling over twinkly pianos.”)

Joshua Ledet, “Runaway Baby”

Joshua Ledet, Top 7 Compete ~ American Idol 2012 by HumanSlinky

How country is Skylar Laine? She’s so country her grandpa’s drawl had to be subtitled. And that country authenticity came through during her cover of Kellie Pickler‘s “Didn’t You Know How Much I Loved You,” thanks to Skylar’s ability to strum while delivering those power twang vocals. Akon said her voice is “f***ing stupid” (in the good way), and we agree.

Colton Dixon sang “Love The Way You Lie” by Skylar Grey. (By the way, isn’t it weird that Eminem put Grey and Dido on the map?) Colton has a knack for burrowing into your ears with his delicate tone, which allows his voice to sneak up on you with its strength by the end of a song. Like Skylar’s, this was a polished vocal track that could’ve been dubbed and sold on the spot.

Elise Testone continued her sine wave season by hitting another peak with Lady Gaga‘s “You And I.” After a well-intentioned but painfully awkward video message from fan Jason Segel, she settled into the song on the piano, and by the end she was near her “Whole Lotta Love” greatness. She performed two stripped down songs tonight, so her divisive voice was under the microscope. Either you love that it sounds like she gargles with Pop Rocks pre-show, or you hate it.

We also have to include the trio of Jessica, Josh and Hollie Cavanagh here. While they were a little shaky during the first verse of Kelly Clarkson‘s “Stronger,” their three alpha dog voices coalesced on the harmonies and chorus. It was all capped off with a mammoth run by Jessica near the end, as is tradition.

Colton and Skylar paired up again this week for Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson’s “Don’t You Wanna Stay.” Quite frankly, we were surprised that noted good boy Colton was allowed to utter the line “don’t you wanna fall asleep with me tonight.” But if he felt ashamed, it didn’t show, because the two once again had natural chemistry together (or, as Steven said, they made sing love).

THE SO-SO

Look, Hollie Cavanagh sang the hell out of Pink‘s “F**kin Perfect.” The last note proved her voice is an undeniable force. But she’s trying to prove that she is a pro and not just a prodigy, and it didn’t come across. There’s a “sing-by-the-numbers” vibe with her, and it ends up sounding like she’s soundtracking a Hallmark movie.

We never would’ve pegged Phillip Phillps as a Maroon 5 guy, but there he was, singing “Give A Little More.” He was in full DMB mode, though, thanks to the velvety sax accompanying him as he shuffled in place with his acoustic guitar.This wasn’t a bad performance, but as Jennifer Lopez said, it’s more of the same. After two weeks without evolving, we may have to start asking if we’re ready for an America with two Dave Matthewses. Considering some people don’t like living in an America with one Dave, this is a problem.

THE BAD

The judges swooned for Elise and Phillip’s rendition of world-conquering hit “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye and Kimbra. This is the part where we throw our hands up in a fit of confusion, because we were cringing for much of it. This is an extremely difficult song, made harder because it’s so of-the-moment that when you try to put your own spin on it, it’s jarring for the listener. For Phil, it was out of his register, and it was just too smooth for voices as gritty as theirs.

Best of the Night: Jessica Sanchez, again, uhDOY.

Worst of the Night: Elise Testone and Phillip Phillips on “Somebody That I Used To Know.” Sorry guys, but Glee did it better.

Tonight: Idol alums Jennifer Hudson and James Durbin show these kiddos how it’s done.

Who do you think did a better Gotye: Glee or Idol? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

Last night on American Idol the Top 8 sang the ’80s. But instead of using Tang and Ocean Pacific for inspiration, the contestants got to train with Gwen Stefani and No Doubt bassist Tony Kanal. And as they have all year, the singers stepped up to the challenge, giving us some of the best performances of the season. Read on to see which contestants will now and forever love the ’80s.The show started with a montage accompanied by Mr. Mister’s “Broken Wings” and the Drive font, and already we had goosies. So many overly dramatic/smooth songs to choose from! And we got some gems, spanning from cheesy balladry to iconic pop to legendary soundtrack cuts. Plus, the Idols were split into girl-guy pairs to perform one of four ’80s duets. And for once, those extra performances weren’t throwaways!

THE GOOD

The question last night: could Jessica Sanchez go 2-for-2 with Whitney Houston covers? The answer: a resounding yes. She brought out her sassy alter ego Bebe Chez for Houston’s “How Will I Know,” and it was pretty much perfect. Jessica’s voice is more mature and powerful than most twice her age. Not to mention, at 16, most people’s personalities are more elastic than their underwear waistbands, yet Jessica is so self-assured that she has an alter ego.

Colton Dixon gave Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” the arena rock treatment, and nailed it in typical Colton fashion. He took an iconic song and made you forget for a minute that it wasn’t his. (Although, afterward he admitted to stealing that rock version from some other band’s cover. Tsk. A magician never gives up his secret, even when it’s plagiarism!)

DeAndre Brackensick had the unfortunate task of going first, but we didn’t forget about his rendition of DeBarge’s “I Like It.” Gwen noticed that he looks nervous when he performs and gave him a little pep talk. It resulted in one of his most fluid (and best) performances yet. The falsetto came out in full force, but he also showed great range by nailing the natural registers. Once again, he was reminiscent of Prince.

Joshua Ledet sang the Simply Red version of Harold Melvin And The Blue Notes’ “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”. This song was a double-edged sword for him: it gave Ledet the space for his vocal theatrics, but it also encouraged over-singing. Despite overpowering the song, he gave one of those undeniable performances. We’re not as crazy about Josh as the judges are — who gave him a standing O — because he has no restraint. When he goes all-out and pummels every melody, it can be like watching Al Pacino chew up the scenery: we know you’re good, but try some subtlety.

Skylar Laine has a voice like “ice cream” according to Gwen Stefani, so it’s only fitting that she chose a song from Beaches, a movie girls have been curling up with a sad bowl of ice cream to for over 20 years. Skylar’s country version of Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings” started off gracefully, almost soothing. And then — cue outdated Emeril reference — she channeled her inner game hunter and slaughtered it, bringing J.Lo to tears. This was Skylar’s best performance yet.

THE SO-SO

Phillip Phillips sang “That’s All” by Genesis, with his brother-in-law on the guitar (luckily the guy didn’t screw it up, or that would’ve made for some awkward Thanksgivings in the Phillips household). It sounded pretty weak in rehearsal, but Jimmy Iovine and company had faith in his ability to pull it off live. Unfortunately, Phil delivered a mediocre performance, sounding out of breath and strained throughout. Fortunately, an off-night for Phil is better than most other singers’ A-games.

Elise Testone followed last week‘s electrifying Zeppelin cover with the polar opposite: Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is.” Not surprisingly, her take was much rawer, and it almost had a Mary J. Blige quality to it. But if you only hear a 90-second snippet of that particular song, it’s kind of monotonous and languorous, so it just wasn’t a good fit for Elise’s force-of-nature voice.

The operatic Hollie Cavanagh took a risk performing Irene Cara’s massive proto-pop song “Flashdance…What A Feeling” (sans shower chain pull). Jimmy and Gwen encouraged her to be less technical and more emotional. So, like a tiny robot, she did as she was told, bopping around stage and working the judges’ table. But she seemed uncomfortable, and her voice missed some notes as a result. Hollie clearly has the vocal chops and the willingness to learn. And as we saw in the duet, she can be loose and playful. But she might be too young to combine all of that into a consistently poppy package.

THE BAD

At this stage in the competition, it would take a monumental meltdown to land in this section. Fingers crossed!

Best of the night: Honestly, since the ones in our “Good” section were outstanding, we can’t single one out. So we’ll highlight the duets. They all were loose yet commanding, and our three “So-So” singers did better here than in their individuals. Colton and Skylar showed great chemistry on Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers’  “Islands In The Stream,” and Hollie was convincing with DeAndre on The Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited.” Elise and Phillip matched up like old jam session buddies on Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty’s “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around.” And, somehow, the roof hadn’t been obliterated after Jessica and Joshua took on George Michael and Aretha Franklin’s “I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me).”

Worst of the night: Randy really took ’80s night to heart.

Tonight: The Wanted perform on the live elimination show.

Do you think Elise will survive the week? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

As if he doesn’t have enough on his plate already with the American Idol hosting gig, news coverage on E!, his production company and syndicated KIIS-FM radio show, Ryan Seacrest has now signed up to be part of the team at NBC. While being interviewed on Today, Seacrest, who says he tries to be a “good conduit to pop culture,” told host Matt Lauer, “I’ve worked with the E! network for years, and NBC Universal and E! are the same family. And so the plan is for me to join the NBC family and continue to have a role at the E! network.” Watch the hosts playfully joke (we think) about Ryan taking Matt’s job on Today below.

Ryan went on to add that his first job for the network will be to join the prime time news team covering this summer’s Olympic games in London.

The two carried on joking about whether or not Seacrest will be joining the Today Show, and Lauer finally said, “Ryan and I are friendly. We have talked about this. We’ve joked about this. There is no tension here.”

But don’t worry, American Idol fans — the blond-haired host isn’t leaving behind his bread and butter anytime soon. “I plan to stay there,” Seacrest said. “I think I’ll have an official announcement very, very soon, but I expect to be on that show.”

What do you think of Ryan’s big announcement? Is the show host spreading himself too thin?

Last night the American Idol contestants were spoiled with compliments from the artists they covered under Stevie Nicks’ care and attention — and with performances by Nicki Minaj and Season 10 winner Scotty McCreery. And that was before we got to see how truly spoiled the kids are in their new posh Chez Idol digs. How high class is their mansion, you ask? It has a bidet, people! Unfortunately, Heejun Han won’t be going for a hilarious splish-splash anytime soon.

Before the festivities, Steven Tyler and Ryan Seacrest announced that Aerosmith is going on tour this year, and the female tweens in the audience went absolutely bonkers. Just confusingly shriek-y and excited about a band that was around for 30 years before they were even born. It was weird. Also, Steven said this: “We’ve been lighting the world’s ass on fire for 40 years…so we’re calling it the Global Warming Tour.” You got that, deniers? Global warming does exist, and it’s all Aerosmith’s fault, and they’re bringing it to a city near you!

Interscope chairman Jimmy Iovine had wonderful things to say about Wednesday night’s performances from Elise Testone, Phillip Phillips and Jessica Sanchez. But inevitably, Jimmy’s crusty side came out. He was tough on Joshua Ledet and Colton Dixon, saying their performances suffered because of the emotional breakdowns. He basically reenacted The Godfather‘s “You can act like a man” scene, but with verbal slaps. And we have to agree with Jimmy, there’s absolutely no place for tears in the theater arts.

Speaking of theater…Nicki Minaj performed her spacey new hit “Starships” off her just-leaked new album. The performance was a decidedly less complicated affair than her Grammy exorcism-travaganza, but Nicki still danced so much that her little Barbz almost popped out, if you catch our drift. (This led to an uncomfortable Seacrest nip-slip joke later on.) Vocally, her backing track did most of the work, leaving us to question why she had a microphone at all… Oh, wait. It was for the post-performance interview in which Nicki said she wants to come back on the show as a guest judge, to which JLo jokingly replied, “I don’t know if there’s enough room for both of us up here.” There is a booty joke in there that we will refrain from making.

Nicki Minaj, “Starships” (Live on American Idol)

Jimmy then continued throwing shade, saying Hollie Cavanagh lacks experience and emotion, and that Heejun Han just doesn’t sing as well as the rest of the group (hard to disagree). He also thinks DeAndre Brackensick is underdeveloped and needs to earn his dues in the music business first. (But isn’t that the whole point of American Idol in the first place? That you get to SKIP the dues-paying line to fame?)

Then Scotty McCreery performed his single “Water Tower Town.” You know that saying “he can sing the phone book”? Yeah, Scotty can sing that, but instead chooses to sing a country song checklist: high school football, corn, saying grace, sweet tea and water towers. Check! Even if country isn’t your thing thang, you have to admit that’s quite the syrupy old voice coming out of that young Alfred E. Newman face.

Scotty McCreery, “Water Tower Town” (Live on American Idol)

After the song, Jimmy set his phasers to “Nice” again to present Scotty with his platinum album. Pretty impressive for a debut from an 18-year-old contest winner, right?

Finally, we got to the bottom, which consisted of Hollie (even though Carrie Underwood loved her performance), Heejun and Skylar Laine. In the end, Heejun got the boot. Add that to Erika Van Pelt-turned-Kris Jenner’s departure last week and that means there is officially a Curse of the 2.0! Change styles/personas/attitudes at your own risk, contestants.

Next Week: Get your scrunchies out because the Idols tackle the ’80s, and The Wanted perform on Thursday’s results show.

Will you miss Heejun’s comic relief? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.

We’re down to single digits on American Idol, and as the numbers fall, the stakes (and number of tears) rise. Last night the remaining singers were tasked with covering their idols, with the legendary Stevie Nicks serving as mentor. During rehearsals, Nicks warmed them up like a proud mother hen and even sang duets with a lucky few. It all resulted in a record five standing ovations from the judges. Find out if they earned them or if everyone just felt especially generous last night.

The number nine, conveniently, can be divided into three’s, so the contestants were split up into pop-medley trios as a bonus for … the viewers? But those were an afterthought. The draw was seeing these kids sing their heroes’ songs. They all (yes, all nine) delivered  passionate performances while looking more stylish than ever. (Props to Tommy Hilfiger!) A few singers even brought themselves to tears, and you just KNOW JLo’s a sucker for that. It’s much harder for us to fill out that “Bad” category these days. Let’s see how they stacked up.

THE GOOD

Jessica Sanchez did a deconstructed version (as they say on Top Chef ) of Beyoncé’s “Sweet Dreams.” Sanchez slowed it down into a dark ballad. When Bey sings, she huffs and puffs and blows your house down, and Jessica has the power to do that, too. But she wisely held back to fit this version. On this show you see great singing all the time, but the performance was great singing plus great creativity. As JLo said, Jessica may have given Beyoncé an “Unplugged” idea.

Jessica Sanchez, “Sweet Dreams”

Colton Dixon must be reading our ‘caps, because last week we said he gives off a Lifehouse vibe, and last night he performed “Everything” by Lifehouse. The song is one of those “reach for the arena ceiling” slow builds, and as expected, Colton sang through the arena ceiling (and cried). No bells and whistles here, just raw emotion and perfect pitch. Can’t go wrong with that formula.

Last week we got Erika 2.0 (though not for long), and this week we got Heejun Han 2.0, now with more earnestness! He performed Donny Hathaway’s version of “A Song For You” by Leon Russell. The new, serious Heejun came out with a spare arrangement, so there was nowhere to hide. And under those circumstances, he gave his best performance yet. Not to ruin his moment, but the question now is whether this was his ceiling. If so, his days could be numbered.

Magical singing elfkin Hollie Cavanagh performed Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus, Take The Wheel.” And she performed the Holy Jesus out of it! JLo agreed with us, but the two male judges gave it a big “meh.” It brought Stevie Nicks to tears in rehearsal! How can you deny that power? Sure, Nicks may be crazy, but still. Also, Hollie ditched the widow-chic look and was beautiful in her white dress.

DeAndre Brackensick covered “Sometimes I Cry” by Eric Benet. DeAndre worked some wonders with that falsetto, which reminded Randy and Steven of Prince. He prefaced the performance by saying he wants to be a pure R&B singer, and this was straight-up panty-dropping music. He may be able to give America a tingle in its collective no-no spots, but is that enough to carry him through the competition? We’re not so sure.

THE SO-SO

Country spark plug Skylar Laine chose to sing Miranda Lambert’s “Gunpowder & Lead.” It’s a wrathful kick-in-the-shin kind of a country tune, and that fits Skylar like a glove. Unfortunately, we found her voice a little nasal and drowned out in the melody. She was entertaining, but it gave us too much bombast and not enough craft. Everyone else last night found ways to make the songs showcase their voices; Skylar’s got lost in the song.

We’re also going to include the three trio medleys in this category. Colton, Elise and Phillip did a Stevie Nicks tribute, and theirs was the least awkward and most tailored to their voices. DeAndre, Heejun and Joshua did a medley of Michael Jackson songs. There were no major mistakes, but it felt stale and under-rehearsed (and JLo commented that they were lucky this wasn’t “So You Think You Can Dance”). Hollie, Skylar and Jessica did a Madonna mashup, which was also fine but clunky. Skylar’s voice matched up surprisingly well with Madge’s material, while Hollie’s sounded too operatic for the Material Girl’s sugary pop.

THE BAD

Two weeks in a row with no chum to feed you sharks out there.

Best of the night: The holy trinity of Jessica Sanchez, Phillip Phillips and Elise Testone. Can America please give Elise some love now?

Worst of the night: So, Jason Derulo made an appearance. Presented without comment:

Tonight: Live voting results and a performance by season 10 winner Smirkin’ Scotty McCreery

Who do you think will get the ax this week? Sound off in the comments, or on Twitter and Facebook.