When chart-topping Canadian crooner Justin Bieber walked onto the stage of The Talk yesterday to discuss his movie Never Say Never, one young female audience member lunged out of her seat to give him a hug. But little did the Bieb suspect that the show’s co-host Leah Remini would be all over him, too. During an eye-roll-worthy round of questions, the former King Of Queens actress asked the (underage) star whether he’d rather perform a song on stage while naked or drink a glass of chopped-up worms. Classy! Watch below.

To Bieber’s credit, he kept trying to dodge the question. “I have, like, little girl fans. I can’t…,” he implored.

Later Leah gave him a hat with the program’s logo on it, carried on with shouting at him… and then there was the bit where she threatened to squeeze his face.

Geez—you’d think Biebz would be used to batty cougars by now. But this was just way too uncomfortable.

The Fox trainwreck Osbournes: Reloaded hasn’t even had its chance to experience a 75% dropoff in ratings from American Idol yet, but already Family Of Darkness patriarch Ozzy Osbourne is disavowing a segment of the show in which the family “hilariously” works the drive-through window at a burger joint: “Not to my liking, to be honest with you. I didn’t get involved in the entertainment business to do fast food restaurants. These people really work… I come from a working-class background. I’ve never forgotten that. I’ve done my share of destroying hotel rooms and all of that stuff. It makes me realize they’re still out there and they’re still doing them jobs.” And paying for Ozzfest tickets! Oh, wait. But Ozzy isn’t the only member of the family whose grin-and-bear-it publicity-tour routine is slipping. After the jump, Kelly and Jack grit their teeth through an interview segment on the always hard-hitting TV Guide Channel. See how long you can make it through without cringing!

For me, it was the 40-second mark, when Jack talks about the time-honored comedic trope of old hags making out with younger guys being a part of the show. I hope they got Cameron Diaz for that bit!

Osbournes Reloaded: Kelly & Jack [YouTube via Blabbermouth]

The Osbournes’ variety hour—you know, the one that helped cancel Ozzfest this year?—will debut on March 31, right after American Idol; from there it’ll run as a series of one-hour specials, which I think is Fox-exec code for “we’re going to wait and see if it craps the bed the way Rosie Live! did last Thanksgiving.” [Reuters]

Probably not, but that hasn’t stopped CBS from giving John Mayer the green light to have one later this season, nor has it prevented Fox from allowing the Osbournes to take over part of its schedule later this spring. Even in the wake of the bomb that was Rosie Live, television programmers are turning to the Cher-tested formula in these hard times, knowing that, hey, at least it won’t be as embarrassing as airing an infomercial during the 8 p.m. hour. (It won’t, right?) Some questions about the shows answered, after the jump.

Q1: Why?
MAYER: “I love him, he is so multitalented, he has a great personality, really smart, loves television and is very funny and has a great sense of humor about himself,” said CBS president Nina Tassler.
OSBOURNES: “They are raunchy and funny and also a warm, real family,” insisted Fox “president of alternative entertainment” Mike Tassler.

Q2: What?
MAYER: A “music variety sketch show” with ideas dreamed up by the guitar-wielding blogger.
OSBOURNES: “Candid Camera-style skits, occasional pie-throwing, the odd performance by Ozzy.”

Q3: Who?
MAYER: No special guests are scheduled yet, but I, personally, am hoping that he somehow frees ?uestlove from Jimmy Fallon’s clutches for a night or so. Also, he should invite the winner of his recent bake-off on. (He did tell E! that he wants to bring “true talent” to his show, after all.)
OSBOURNES: “There are even a pair of ‘mini-Osbournes’—(British) child actors who dress, behave and talk as outrageously as Ozzy and wife Sharon themselves.” No, really. Also, Pamela Anderson, who I am going to right now bet will have at least one wardrobe malfunction during her appearance.

Q4: When?
MAYER: Presumably, after his next seafaring adventure. (His sense of humor is way too finely tuned for him to wear the Borat thong during the show, right?)
OSBOURNES: Sometime before Rock Of Love Charm School 2, I’m going to guess.