1. The Sbarro on Broadway will probably have to cut back on staff. After all, who's silly enough to eat their "pizza" aside from high school students with underdeveloped palates? (Michael Scott's a fictional character, mind.)

2. O-Town loses its opportunity to reunite solely for the purpose of retiring a second video from the countdown. Now Ashley Parker Angel really has no reason to hang out around Broadway.

3. The dating pool for MTV interns takes a huge hit. Guess you'll have to find your summer flings while waiting in line at the super-fancy cafeteria, kids!

4. Lyndsey Rodrigues may need to learn how to read a teleprompter. Sorry, babe.

5. The number of recent pictures of up-and-coming young musicians on the AP and Getty photo wires is going to plummet. Please trust me when I say that this is a bad, bad thing, especially for me.

5a. We'll never see 50 Cent smile again. See what I mean in No. 5???

6. The Virgin Megastore across the street from MTV's studios will have even less foot traffic now. So much for it staying open through February 2009, I guess!

7. Speaking of things staying open, is it a coincidence that this announcement happened to be the same day that the crap was hitting the A/C vent at Lehman Brothers, which has (had?) a garish, ticker-festooned headquarters right down the street? Oh, America.

Looking back at the airplay statistics since Sept. 8—when we were subjected to Katy Perry's rendition of "Like A Virgin" for the very first time—the snippets of videos shown on TRL have been the only "music video"-related content on the station, with the exception of one late-Tuesday airing of the new Cassie video. (Which was probably an operator error.) So, when the music video was apparently "back" during the first run of FNMTV—which is apparently coming back later this fall—that statement must have meant "the video is back, at least while we're waiting for new episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge to emerge from the editing bay."

(Before someone feels to need to make the comment, I'm aware they haven't been in the "music" business for awhile. I just miss that they used to at least pretend for an hour or so that they were.)

MTV [Official site]

Inexplicably, the AP (or, who knows, maybe MTV's people) dragged an old-timey TRL mainstay out of hiding in order to comment on this cancellation:

In a statement, Eminem said: "I'm going to miss `TRL.' ... Where else will I be able to start feuds, defend my honor vigorously and act like an angry teenager on national TV? Oh wait ... The VMAs!"

How many TRL fans do you think heard that quote and didn't quite understand who was saying it, and why that person would be anywhere near the VMAs? I'm guessing more than a few. Em, you may want to pen a few disses of Tokio Hotel and the Jonas Brothers, so as to keep your game up...

RIP, TRL: 'Total Request Live' ending in November [AP]

10:59 a.m. Damien called Tokio Hotel "the biggest thing to come out of Germany since the BMW." Also I think we're going to be treated to these dudes introducing the Devendra Banhart/Natalie Portman video. No, really.

11:00 a.m. No. 10 on the countdown: The new single by LL Cool J, which features The-Dream and name-drops Justin Timberlake. It gets more than 60 seconds of airtime, so I guess it's "good."

11:01 a.m. Audience question time! None of the questioners can really talk on-mic, but question No. 2 is about the Tokio Hotel/Jonas Brothers rivalry. Bill Kaulitz hasn't met the JBs yet, but he respects their talent. This is just setting up for the inevitable confrontation at the VMAs.

11:03 a.m. Four of the five questioners are from countries outside of the U.S. And none of them are really good at speaking into the microphone. Am I getting old? Is this just another way for me to be completely confused by this band?

11:05 a.m. An ad for The Hills. Speaking of feeling old, Lauren Conrad's facial expressions make the actors on Undressed look like they came straight out of Uta Hagen master classes.

11:08 a.m. No. 9: Tokio Hotel's kinda-plodding "Monsoon." Wait, they're hosting the show and they can't even get a No. 1? Or does that mean that there are even more videos to come?

11:09 a.m. Tokio Hotel, can you go to the mall without wearing a disguise? Not in Europe, apparently. Do you think Bill Kaulitz's "disguise" is just him flat-ironing his hair? Or wearing no makeup? Or does he bust out the Richard Nixon masks?

11:12 a.m. A very long clip of Duffy's "Warwick Avenue" video.

11:12 a.m. And now the cast of The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants is on. And answering questions about what member of the sisterhood would do what thing. Wait a second... I've seen this segment before.

11:14 a.m. I wonder if they're going to ask which Pants girl would be most likely to date David Cross? Amber Tamblyn, this is your now!

11:15 a.m. Oh my God, this is so fucking boring. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but... more Tokio Hotel, please. Is this my first, desperate step toward fandom? Is this how it started for so many other disaffected teens?

11:17 a.m. A Denny's ad. That does not tout the Rock Star Menu. Perhaps they realized that 11 a.m. is not really prime rock-starring time? I wonder if MTV will figure out the same thing.

11:19 a.m. No. 8 (remember, this is sort of a countdown!): Jesse McCartney's "Leavin'." It only ranks a 20-second, talked-over bit, alas.

11:20 a.m. Blah blah Gossip Girl girl talking about "separate journeys" and Alexis Bledel looking sorta bored while gothed-out Tokio Hotel fans in the background look utterly bored.

11:22 a.m. Alexis Bledel joins the pantheon of people on today's program who can't properly speak into their microphone. What is going on here?

11:25 a.m. No. 7 is David Banner, and he gets almost a minute of his song, with no talked-over bits! Also, running underneath the video is an ad for MTV's new "buy the music you just saw" site Soundtrack. I wonder if this was MTV's long-ago-rumored "new strategy for music" that was shoved to the side when Pete Wentz came up with the whole FNMTV thing?

11:26 a.m. More Tokio Hotel after the break! The guy who looks kind of like what Stuart from Beavis and Butt-Head would were he a real person (with longer hair) has the most shit-eating grin on his face ever.

11:29 a.m. No. 6: The Lil Wayne Robs A Bank video. (A 10-second snippet, talked over by the annoying Aussie co-host, whose teleprompter-reading skills have not really improved.

11:30 a.m. No. 5: Three 6 Mafia, who are apparently picking up Lil Wayne's discarded lollipop and running with it, even though it's sticky and covered in months-old dust. Wait, does this song sample the theme from Halloween?

I think it does!

11:36 a.m. No. 4: T.I.'s sad song. Talked-over, not even 10 seconds.

11:36 a.m. Santogold is the featured performer on FNMTV this week! Also, somehow Morningwood's label got suckered into putting out another record by them, because they have a new video premiering on the show this Friday.

11:37 a.m. No. 3 is Ne-Yo's "Closer." He looks even more dashingly disguised on my big-screen TV!

11:38 a.m. Apparently Devendra Banhart is a "new artist." Just so you're aware when Grammy nominations hit.

11:39 a.m. Not even Natalie Portman's presence can stop Devendra's video from being relegated to the "worth maybe 45 seconds of TRL's time" bin.

11:42 a.m. No. 2: The Jonas Brothers! But what does this mean about the sorta-coveted No. 1 slot? Is it going to be taken over by a second Tokio Hotel video? Or is Colbie Caillat still hanging around?

11:43 a.m. Now two people from the audience are going to engage in a "pack Tokio Hotel's suitcase" contest.

11:43 a.m. One person is just stuffing everything in, while another is being more orderly! Bill is trying to help the girl who made his face light up when she talked about the importance of the band's lyrics to her life! Everyone's helping and so I can't see anything!

11:44 a.m. This is like the worst Double Dare challenge of all time. And Damian would seem to agree: He just called hosting the contest the greatest moment of his career.

11:45 a.m. Both girls won tickets to the show, meaning that the contest was 100% moot.

11:45 a.m. It's time for M.I.A.'s sandwich-happy "Paper Planes" video, which is being called a "remix," but the only discernible difference is the non-gunshot sounds made during the chorus.

11:46 a.m. The video got a full minute of airtime! It's officially a huge hit!

11:47 a.m. LL Cool J is this week's Artist Of The Week, and he's celebrating by donning an moustache like the one Charlie's grandfather sports in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory and a Grumpy Old Men-style hat and performing "I Need Love" to old ladies. So that's how you appeal to the kids today. Huh.

11:51 a.m. And now he is ... re-enacting ... Misery?

11:52 a.m. OMG TOKIO HOTEL PERFORMING LIVE!!!!

11:53 a.m. So, basically, this track—"Monsoon"—is very similar to the 23,942,034 "grunge" bands that popped up in Nirvana's wake, only with a vocalist who ditches the whole yarling thing for a feyer sound. It's also just plodding along, no big buildup in terms of dynamics yet.

11:54 a.m. OH WAIT HERE COMES THE RIFF-HEAVY BIT. But Bill Kaulitz's voice isn't really doing anything more dramatic. I'm sort of confused by the way that there's no real over-the-top emoting in this track yet. What is it that's making so many people freak out? The song kind of... ends, with no real freak-out vocally on his part. I really don't get this, although I'm sure this is going to result in a bunch of Tokio Hotel fans running through the comment section and telling me that Kaulitz is still recovering from his throat surgery or that he was tired from the time change or, or, or.

11:56 a.m. And that's it! And the No. 1 video... is by Rihanna. Who is showing me right now what some well-placed eyeliner can do on someone who has, you know, actual stage presence.

11:58 a.m. Oh no, My Super Sweet 16! I have to go.

Well... not so much, unless you think dishwater-gray alt-rock is really ass-kicking and/or fun. Between the outre fashions and the "last half-hour of Headbanger's Ball" name you'd think that Tokio Hotel would at least have some sort of King Diamond-like aural spectacle in their music, but alas. I guess these days sticking out because the way 25% of your band looks is more than enough to make the Internet go nuts.

Exclusive video: Tokio Hotel TRL performance [MTV Buzzworthy Blog]

I know that lately I've been coming across a lot of articles on "why music sounds bad now," but this song pretty much encapsulates in four minutes just how awful pop music can sound these days. I got this same feeling when listening to Sam's Town a year ago, but please tell me if, when you listen to "He Said, She Said"—whether on the TV or in YouTube'd form-its sloppily cut-and-pasted together elements (Tisdale rapping, the demo track from a souped-up Casio keyboard of recent vintage, a cathedral-organ effect that sounds straight out of a bad Dracula movie) don't result in a sensation that feels not unlike your ears being filled with a piping-hot dish of spaghetti Bolognese that had been topped with shaved chocolate, a mango lassi, and some of CJ's broccolini from last week's Top Chef right before it was aurally served to you. The old saying when it comes to music has been "if it's too loud, you're too old," but more songs like this (and the latest offering from that other Ashlee) and I think we might need to change the operative word in that statement from "loud" to "incoherent."

Ashley Tisdale - He Said, She Said (Official Music Video) [YouTube]

The clip was directed by the guy responsible for the waterlogged "Beautiful Liar" video, and according to reports, it's set, in part, at a funeral. Putting those two elements together in my head only conjures up a video concept that results in Britney frolicking with dolphins while flipping off K-Fed, the MTV wardrobe department, and that guy who wouldn't give her the extensions she wanted, but maybe I'm going a little too high-concept there.

Britney Spears "Gimme More" Music Video Debuts Tomorrow [Just Jared]

MTV has narrowed in on a name for its struggling Total Request Live show, or TRL: the more Web-friendly YouRL.

Oh, we love it! It's so zeitgeisty, only for, you know, the zeitgeists of 1999 and 2006. If only the MTV powers that be had gone the retro route, and decided to rebrand the thing 976-RLRL. (Although who knows, maybe that's the next sleight of rebranding that VH1 Classic has up its sleeve.)

MTV Favors 'YouRL' Swap for 'TRL' [Broadcasting & Cable, via tvtattle.com]

Two weeks ago, MTV began taping ''Total Request Live'' two days a week in an effort to save money. After live shows air Monday and Wednesday afternoons, shows are then taped for the following day.

''Total Request Taped''? No, the show's title won't be adjusted for the less-than-live days, spokeswoman Marnie Black said Tuesday.

''We're not editing anything,'' she said. ''We're not changing anything. The spirit of the show is going to be exactly the same.''

Color us skeptical—it's hard to think that Mariah Carey's ice cream giveaway, to name but one example, would have survived the tape-delay process. Anyway, now that the show isn't really live anymore, it's time for some KFC-style rebranding for the three letters that make up the show's name:

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

MTV's `TRL' No Longer Totally Live [AP via NYT]
Earlier: MTV's Post-Layoff Shakeout: Screaming Teenagers Will Continue To Clog Up Times Square Foot Traffic
[Photo: Getty Images]

The full memo after the jump.

As all of you know by now, MTV, along with several of our other MTV Networks brands, have made some organizational changes this week. It's never easy to make changes that result in good people leaving, and I want to let everyone know that none of these decisions were made hastily. These tough choices have been made in order to align our business priorities with our organizational resources, streamline and consolidate some areas within our structure and allow us to invest more assets in key growth areas. And while I know that these past few days have been personally hard for all of us, I also know that MTV still holds a unique place in the lives of young people everywhere. Across all our screens, we are creating places where young people are inspired and entertained. That's been our mission since day one and it's what all of you, with your passion and dedication, make happen every day.

Because there have been a lot of rumors and speculation, I wanted you to hear from me directly about the changes at our brand.

We've decided to consolidate the operations of MTV2 within MTV, and many of the hard-working production and development people of MTV2 will be leaving the organization. The MTV2 that you all know and love will still be there - packed 24 hours a day with the music and shows that its young male viewers love. I'm proud of all that the MTV2 team has contributed to its creative and ratings successes. They are leaving behind a great legacy and we are eternally grateful to them.

There has never been a more passionate team than those at MTV World. Unfortunately, the premium distribution model proved more challenging than we anticipated in this competitive environment and we've made the incredibly difficult decision to cease operations of the MTV World channels and says goodbye to these dedicated professionals. Creating programming for multi-cultural youth remains a priority for us and are looking for ways to integrate the MTV Desi, Chi and K brands online and on our other screens.

The responsibilities formerly handled by the Music Marketing and Program Promotions departments will be absorbed by a newly streamlined marketing area that consists of the on-air promotions, off and on-air design and online marketing teams. We're still committed to many of the initiatives this group has built and getting our message to the audience is more important than ever. I know that under the current creative leadership, the department will find new ways to connect with our audience.

We also made the tough decision to streamline our production process as well as personnel in our studio. TRL will air as always - and we'll continue to bring our audience the celebs they love and special weeks like Spankin New and much more — but we will now operate more efficiently downstairs.

In this fast-paced news environment, it became essential to have the News & News Online teams operate as one team rather than two. This move will more effectively allow our award winning news teams to continue to break and report on music, culture, politics, and hard-hitting issues. Regrettably, the MTV Docs department has also been affected but I know that the incredibly strong team who remain will continue to bring engaging, hit documentary series to MTV.

Unfortunately, we also had to say goodbye to some longstanding colleagues in the Production Events department. The way in which we produce our big events has evolved over the years and this meant that we did not need a full-time production events team, but they will remain on through June to help us make the Movie Awards the fun, dynamic event it has always been.

Our Program Planning & Scheduling team has probably the hardest job of any media company in the industry given that we have so many screens on which we program content. As this department's job has evolved, we had to take a hard look at how we could operate here more efficiently. We will be working with the Program Planning & Scheduling team to prioritize and assist with this transition and ensure that viewers still get our content everywhere they want it - from MTV to MTV2 to mtvU to to mtv tr3s to mtv.com to MTV Mobile to VOD.

It's never easy to say goodbye to dedicated and talented people and I encourage you all to reach out and wish them the best in their future endeavors. They contributed so much to MTV and we're all lucky to have worked with them.

Despite the fact that we're making reductions in some areas, MTV has much more room to grow as a company and we need to ensure that we're investing in the areas that afford us the greatest capacity for future growth. So, we will be building resources against some other areas, such as linear programming, our interactive properties and some of our emerging and burgeoning networks like MTV tr3s and mtvU.

I know I couldn't have possibly answered everyone's questions in one email, and please know I am looking to schedule some time for all of us to get together as an organization soon, but in the meantime, I hope this helped to address and clarify some of the buzz in the hallways, on the web and in the papers. Should you have immediate issues or questions, always know you can also reach out to your managers as well.

Change is never easy, and I thank you for your patience, kindness and compassion during this time. I need your creativity, passion and innovation more than ever as we embark on the next great era for MTV, representing and reflecting young people. Somewhere, someone is meeting MTV for the first time. Together, let's redefine what they'll see.

Christina

MTV Prez Christina Norman: TRL Stays [Gawker]
Earlier: TRL Phone Lines May Have Their Minutes Cut Back

Speculation inside MTV and at the major music labels has been mounting that TRL, a daily afternoon show that has been experiencing declining ratings, will soon be canceled or scaled back to two days a week. The newest fuel for the rumor mill: the fact that much of the staff at TRL's studio at New York City's Times Square was laid off late Tuesday, including members of the wardrobe, makeup and technical staff.

This is the first speculation we've seen about a possible downscaling of the show, as opposed to an outright cancellation; after all, it's not like the TRL charts change that much every day, and cutting out three broadcasts a week would open up more timeslots for that lie-detector dating show. Page Six's speculation that Vanessa Minillo (above, center), one of the show's hosts, is preparing to wave goodbye to 1515 Broadway come April also adds credence to this theory; after all, does a show really need more than two hosts if it's only going to be on twice a week?

R.I.P. For MTV's TRL? [Forbes]
Earlier: Is "TRL" Getting Ready For Its Final Countdown?

Right now, Fall Out Boy is on TRL, MTV's daily countdown show; they're counting down their 10 favorite videos, which include "Thriller" and "Parents Just Don't Understand." It's part of what MTV is calling its "A-List Playlist" week—American Idol runner-up Katherine McPhee took over countdown duties yesterday—but given all the recent buzz about TRL's low ratings and candidacy for the MTV chopping block, we're wondering if this isn't the network's way of letting its long-running viewer countdown show run out the clock gracefully. Any tips or final-show timetables can be sent to the usual address, so we know when to throw up our Total Request No Longer Live headline.

(Also, did MTV really bleep "heart" out from the first verse of "Thriller?" Please say that it was just a sound glitch. Please.)

TRL [MTV]