Idolator: vanessa carlton

A Plea: David Archuleta Needs To Win "American Idol"

Anthony Miccio — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Damn you, Cooksuckers! A miracle of a man is standing before you, and you're asking for more oatmeal instead. David Cook beating David Archuleta would be the most grievous public decision since Bush beat Kerry, if not since Barabbas beat Jesus. Do you really prefer lame rock over good schmaltz? Would you rather listen to Nickelback than "Can You Feel The Love Tonight"? This is a kid that sings like James Ingram, but looks like Fievel! David Archuleta is exactly the kind of circus act that should win America's Best Whatevs in the absence of anything genuinely enjoyable, while David Cook is Daughtry with more hair and less charisma. Sure, Cook gets teary-eyed after his performances, but while he's singing he looks like he'd enjoy nothing more than a body-sized mirror with a hole in it. Archie, on the other hand, is squinting, panting, and crooning for you.

The evidence:

David Archuleta brought it to the finals.
Molten hot! Hot! Fire!

David's dad made him sing "You're The Voice," and on his own accord, he sang Chris Brown's "With You," unconsciously wiggling his ass.
Both more acceptable than Our Lady Peace.

Unlike his opponent, David Archuleta never revealed just how crappy a song "Baba O'Riley" is when it's stripped of its keyboard hook.

I'd blame Cook for his interpretation of "Billie Jean" as well, but really, that's Chris Cornell's fault.

David Archuleta is a wittle mouse who likes to pretend he's Vanessa Carlton.

Awwwww. Don't you just want to put him in a shoebox with a little blanket?

As the career of Daughtry proves, David Cook doesn't need the Idol crown to join all the other candy-ass yarlers who make me wish Eddie Vedder had suffered a lethal surfing accent soon after recording "Hunger Strike." (I don't want to imagine life without "Hunger Strike.") I've even caught myself referring to the sound as "Cook Rock" lately, reaffirming how easily he'd slipped into the tepid world of rock/adult contemporary crossover. Archuleta's magic is a more fragile thing, one that requires a royal handle in order that he may some day walk with cartoon animals. Yes, he may wind up a resentful queen like Clay Aiken. Perhaps his relationship with his father will send himself spiraling downward into chemicals and squalor. But when he sang "Smoky Mountain Memories" during Dolly Parton week, I watched the story of every child performer whose family depended on their modest talents brought to bittersweet life.

Not that I voted. (Just saying.)

American Idol 7 - David Cook - Baba O'Riley 05/06/08 [YouTube]
David Archuleta A Thousand Miles [YouTube]
David Archuleta - Smoky Mountain Memories - Top 9 [YouTube]

Vanessa Carlton Has Roman Hands

Dick Malone — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 13:30:23 EST

I am not going to lie to you people: that Janet Jackson video where the guy reaches into her pants and pulls out some sort of jewelry made, uh, a big impression on me as a teenager. And this Vanessa Carlton video also spoke to me in some deep and unfathomable way. Don't get too worried when the creepy disembodied hands start playing Chester the Molester with Ms. Carlton around the 1:40 mark—there's patronizing multiculturalism to come! [YouTube]

How To Get From Vanessa Carlton To Ozzy In One Step

jharv — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:30:05 EST

I quite enjoy Vanessa Carlton's 2004 single "White Houses," but I do not come to you today to debate the merits of this piano-pumping ode to the joys and terrors of losing your virginity in some jerk's car. See, after three years I can't really remember when I first noticed the similarity of "White Houses" to the song posted after the jump. Perhaps I was tipped off by my '80s-obsessed boss at the record store I worked at when "White Houses" was first released? Maybe I noted the comparison being made on a clever blog or message board? Perhaps it came to me in a dream? But whenever and however, I can't hear "White Houses" now without thinking of this:

I mean...I'm not crazy, right? Surely someone else has noted/noticed this. Seriously, the next time you're at karaoke try singing one over the other and freak out your pals in the process. Or not. It ain't no big thing.

Vanessa Carlton - "White Houses" [YouTube]
Lita Ford - "Kiss Me Deadly" [YouTube]

Vanessa Carlton Is Like BFF With Stevie Nicks

Kate Richardson — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:45:54 EDT

Vanessa Carlton, of mobile piano fame, recently put out a new album on The Inc., formerly known as Murder Inc., and in a desperate ploy to get people to care about That Girl Who Sings That Song With The Video Where She Rides The Piano, label head Irv Gotti has trapped and domesticated Stevie Nicks, somehow convincing her that Vanessa Carlton is worth her time and effort. In an interview Carlton talks about the new album, that dude from Third Eye Blind, and the great and powerful Nicks.

"I decided to crack out of the shell," Carlton said during a phone interview with LiveDaily. "I look at it as cracking an egg. I've reminded people of this traveling piano and then shattered it in order to start anew and open a new chapter. I've gone through so many changes and evolutionary changes since that first video. It's a coming-of-age thing."

Good to know that Vanessa herself is as tired of that video as everyone else is.

In the past few years, I was touring with Stevie [Nicks]. I sing about her in the song, as well. She helped me get through the transition of finding a new family and all those moments at night when you doubt yourself. You wonder if you're ever going to release another record or what's going to happen to you in this crazy music industry. I was able to really lean on her, as well.

I'm curious as to whether this was a matter of Vanessa obsessively basking in Stevie's murky glow, or if Stevie Nicks is just really bored these days. Either way, I'm glad these ladies have found each other.

You may know that Vanessa used to date Stephan Jenkins, pouty lead singer of Buzz Ballad band Third Eye Blind. What you may not know is that these two are the new Buckingham-Nicks:

We are working partners. We're unconditionally working partners. We produced nine songs. We worked whether we were together or not. This was our child. This is our great offspring. Nothing was going to kind of get in the way of it being great. The intensity between us, if anything, I think helped things along. Stevie [Nicks] did come in the studio a couple times and noted that it was similar to Fleetwood Mac [laughs]. Politics, you know. Stephan and I will always respect each other. I think he's a brilliant songwriter and producer. I'm so proud of our child.

Stevie Nicks done lost her mind, not that it phases Vanessa Carlton:

She is my mentor. I actually just left her today. We were in Chicago rehearsing. She is an extraordinary woman. She's such a good person. I know she's Stevie Nicks and she's so magical on so many levels and larger than life. But she's this earthy, amazing person at the end of the day. She's such a good woman. I look up to her. Touring with her was just the best. Being near Stevie is such a gift. She keeps giving to me. She was a big part of this record. She sequenced the album. She sang on the record. She was there right from the beginning, when I didn't have a new deal yet and I didn't have the record written. She helped me through every step. Every stage of this record, Stevie was involved and there by my side. Stevie was encouraging me to move forward and take the next step. As scary as it is, you have to take the next step.

Watch out, Vanessa! When Stevie encourages you to take "the next step" it probably involves enough chiffon to drape an elephant and an insatiable cocaine habit. Are you sure you're ready for that? On second though, maybe she'll need it to nurse her through the inevitably tepid album sales and mishandled marketing campaign.

LiveDaily Interview: Vanessa Carlton [Live Daily]

Liner Notes: Someone Out There Still Knows Who Vanessa Carlton Is

mjohnston — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 13:29:30 EST

- Hip-hop impresario Irv Gotti signs ivory-tinkling warbler Vanessa Carlton after recognizing her as "the girl from White Chicks." Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves. [MTV]
- Two file-sharing teenagers who let their mom take the rap for their "Mmmbop"-swapping fess up, get sued. Talk about ungrateful. [AP via Newsday]
- Peeved Rolling Stones fans are suing the band and Ticketmaster for $51 million as a result of canceled shows. That adds up to almost all the service fees we've paid in our lifetime. [E! Online]