Music News, Reviews, and Gossip on Idolator.com » What Not To Wear?

The Internet’s Seven Worst Music-Related Halloween Costumes

Maura — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 03:00:00 +0000

In the rush to put together The Perfect Halloween Costume (That Isn’t Sarah Palin Or The Chick Who Carved The B In Her Face), some of you might choose to peruse the offerings of some of the Internet’s costume merchants. And some of you, in this time where pop music seems to land somewhere between “public TV pledge drives” and “the TV Guide crossword” on the pop-cultural radar, might even want to theme your costume themed around some sort of music in-joke. We here at Idolator are here to help you fashion the right pop-related getup, so in the interest of performing a public service, here are seven outfits that you should pretty much avoid at all costs this Halloween. Even if you’re really in need of a last-minute costume on Friday.

7. ’80s Pop Star

Unless that star is Julie Brown, in which case you’re excused.

6. “Adult Slipknot Jumpsuit”

At $44.99, this pretty superfluous jumpsuit is $15 more than any of the masks it’s designed to complement. PT Barnum lives!

5. “Adult Midget Rocker”

See, you put your real feet in the “foam amplifier with attached boots”. No, really.

4. Courtney Love (for kids)

Oh sure, the page claims it’s Alice In Wonderland, but that eyeliner? Those shoes? That pigeon-toed stance? You can’t fool me, Halloween Express.

3. Rock Out With Your Cock Out

Because it’s not as funny as Longuini And Meatballs.

2. Amy Winehouse

Last year’s joke. Besides, she’s taking her fashion cues from M.I.A.’s clothing line these days.

1. Riot Girl (for kids)

Bikini Kill For Grade Schoolers cassette not included.

Four Coachella T-Shirts That Proved Irony Is Dead Forever

Maura — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 03:30:00 +0000

The fashion tableau provided by the Coachella audience revealed a lot of things about fashion in 2008: the American Apparel-bred aesthetic of shiny spandex has been embraced by a lot of women; those awful monokinis where the top and the bottom parts are connected by a strip of fabric are inexplicably back; and I can’t look at mesh fedoras without feeling revolted, because they remind me of Spike from Top Chef. And as always, the ironic and semi-ironic t-shirts were out in full force, with four in particular standing out for the way they bludgeoned the idea of “irony” with a cotton-covered truncheon.

4. Wyld Stallyns. In 2013, this spot will be reserved for a “MILF Island” shirt.

3. KISS’ Hot In The Shade Tour. The only way this bit of clothing could have been more eye-roll-inducing was if it were a shirt from the Psycho Circus tour, because at least Hot In The Shade is semi-redeemed by “Forever.”

2. Nick Lachey’s 2006 Tour. Every single person I told about this shirt had the same reply: “Do you think he was kidding?” It’s like Homerpalooza come to life.

1. Triumph, “Just A Game” Tour T-shirt. If I was giving out prizes solely based on what the shirts was advertising, this would probably come in below the KISS offering. But the overall aesthetic pushed it over the top: Not only was dude’s shirt (professionally, I’m pretty sure) shredded to bits, so were his cutoffs, and there a few well-placed tears that allowed all passerby to get up close and personal with his junk. I would have taken out my camera to commit this memory to pixels, but I figured I’d spare all of you.

Andre 3000 To Finally Bring 19th Century Anglophilia To Hip-Hop

Jess Harvell — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:35:49 +0000

Since he couldn’t possibly fill all of that OutKast downtime with guest verses and Hollywood turns, the man born Andre Benjamin, who then branded himself Andre 3000 and who’s now once again Andre Benjamin, has also spent the last few months exploring the world of fancy frocks, hoping to allow the common man (with a little dough) to borrow some of his infamous mix-and-match sartorial style. The rapper-turned-clothier currently plans for an autumn debut for his upscale fashion imprint–think more high-end department store than the place you pick up your remaindered G-Unit apparel–Benjamin Bixby. The line is so named not for the man who was once the Incredible Hulk, but because…well, probably because it sounded like a jolly Dickens urchin. And if your closet is full of throwbacks and manpris, but light on cravats and waistcoats, then it just might be for you.

That mix of application and instinct carries over to his personal style. It takes a certain serenity to rock the resplendent Bixby outfit he recently wore to a Fashion Week party: wide-brimmed fedora, green waistcoat, buttery brown leather riding boots (”vintage”) that pushed his pants up, jodhpur style. He looked more like a wealthy, eccentric caballero than a thirties jock toff, but then, he wants the line to tell stories. Benjamin Bixby, he says, “is a character who’s kind of like your uncle, or your granddad, and he has a closet full of experiences and clothes, and he’s been around the world…”

Tearing pages out of magazines as a kid left Benjamin with a reverence for English style: He fetishizes “timeless” clothes, name-checks old-school brands like Turnbull & Asser, and calls his own style “classic spontaneity” or “rebel gentleman.” What this means, in effect, is doing a little remix. Here, he’s wearing a Façonnable shirt with Polo khakis and a tie from his new line worn as a belt. “There has to be something inventive about it,” he says. “But not so inventive that it’s a turnoff. So that some of the greats, like Beau Brummell or the Duke of Windsor, would nod and say, ‘Well done.’ Those guys killed it.” Now, that’s hip-hop.

Considering the good Mr. Brummell infamously “claimed to polish his boots with champagne,” that might not be so wide of the mark as haters might think. Not even hip-hop’s most ball-’til-they-fall spendthrifts have suggested scrubbing a pair of kicks fresh and clean using Cristal. That we know of, anyway.

Andre Benjamin Launches New Clothing Line, Benjamin Bixby [New York Magazine]