The last two stanzas of Jack White's "Courageous Dream's Concern."

Detroit, you hold what one's been seeking,
Holding off the coward-armies weakling,
Always rising from the ashes
not returning to the earth.

I so love your heart that burns
That in your people's body yearns
To perpetuate,
and permeate,
the lonely dream that does encapsulate,
Your spirit, that God insulates,
With courageous dream's concern.

And whether breaking a Von Bondie's nose,
or allegedly recording Electric Six cameos,
Will Jack White return when one least would suppose;
Donning the finest in red and white clothes?
Who knows?
Maybe he'll keep dressing like some Leslie West wanna-be like he did at Bonnaroo.

Exclusive: Read Jack White's poem for Detroit [Detroit Free Press]

White Stripes - Jolene [YouTube]

* OK, so one of these acts is, like, president of the United States and the other the president of American Samoa. I'll get to the White Stripes later...

Yesterday on Idolator, Maura brought up a subject I've been downplaying here since 2008 began: mediocre pop-rapper Flo Rida's depressing death grip on Billboard's Hot 100. Mostly, I've avoided a deep discussion of his T-Pain-assisted No. 1 smash "Low"—now in its 10th week atop the chart, matching last winter's run by Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable"—because there's not much to tell. Its sales have been massive since fall, it has led in radio airplay since mid-January, and no single has seriously challenged it for No. 1 all winter.

But as Maura noted, we'll have to pay mind to Mr. Rida now that his followup single, the Timbaland-assisted "Elevator," is making a fast break up the chart. The thought that "Low" would be succeeded by another Flo Rida song is enough to make one swear off Billboard forever.

Don't despair. There are a lot of ways for this story to play out, and I'd say it's less than 50-50 that Uncle Flo will succeed himself at the top. Let's run down some scenarios.

First, let's examine "Low" itself. It's down in both airplay and sales for the Billboard tracking week, and if it's going to hold onto No. 1 much longer, it will be because of weak competition (more on that in a moment). It seems to be approaching a historical sales ceiling: only two songs in legal-downloading history, OneRepublic's "Apologize" and Soulja Boy's "Crank That," have sold more than three million copies. And while "Low" (a hair under the three-million mark on this week's digital-sales charts) will easily top the cumulative sales of OneRepublic and Soulja Boy (both around 3.1 million) before the counting's done, the song's market is likely reaching a saturation point.

On the radio side, the song's support is heavy but narrow. Since hip-hop seriously crossed over to pop radio a decade ago, there has been a subspecies of rap hit that does only moderate business at R&B radio (think Nelly's more recent hits, or the Black Eyed Peas). "Low" is one of those songs; it's never risen above No. 9 on the R&B/Hip-Hop chart. When Top 40 radio finally tires of it, it's done.

Honestly, it should have been done on the Hot 100 weeks ago, if the songs at Nos. 2 and 3 could have sealed the deal. Each has had the opposite handicap from the other: Chris Brown's "With You" is a radio star—it just toppled "Low" as the most-played song in America this week—but it's suffered from good-not-great sales throughout its run; this week, at 89,000 copies, it moved just over half of what "Low" sells in an off-week. And Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music" has been selling over six figures a week but is taking a while to catch up in airplay; as a full-on club song, its radio exposure probably has a ceiling.

This leaves three songs that could save us from further Flo Rida tyranny—and only one of them is in the Top 10 right now:

• "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles, now up to No. 4, is already outselling "Low" at iTunes—that won't be reflected until next week's charts—and is turning into a serious radio hit. Her radio deficit is still massive, but if her sales stay this strong, it won't matter.

• "Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey, up 23 spots to No. 34, is charting with one hand tied behind its back: it's not for sale yet. Considering this handicap, it's performing phenomenally on the current, iTunes-heavy chart—only radio is providing the song with chart points, and it's already in the Top 20 in airplay. Such instant airwave dominance is rare. Island Def Jam hasn't breathed a word about when or if the song will drop on iTunes; so until they do, we have to assume it'll meander around the middle of the chart. But if they do drop it digitally, stand the hell back.

• "Love in The Club" by Usher, currently charting all the way down at No. 51, is the most likely No. 1 contender, and it may even reach that point as soon as next week for one simple reason: iTunes. As this astute commenter noted yesterday, it debuted there last week and is already No. 1. We'll know if it's pulled off a coup next week, when we find out how big its first-week sales are. The big question: four years after his Confessions juggernaut, and after numerous album-release delays, how pent-up is demand for Usher?

As for the new Flo Rida hit, "Elevator" is almost certainly on its way to the Top 10, but No. 1 is not a foregone conclusion. With a 72-point leap this week (from No. 100 to No. 28), "Elevator" is making the kinds of moves that are made by a future No. 1. But the main reason for the pole-vault is its debut last week on iTunes.

For an act following up a massive hit, the sales of "Elevator" aren't exactly explosive; it moved 64,000 copies, well short of the six-figure totals we typically see atop the download chart. Just for comparison, when "Low" hit iTunes last fall, it flew from No. 64 all the way to No. 6 in a single week. No. 28 doesn't look all that impressive by comparison. As of today, "Elevator" has moved into iTunes' top five, but it's still selling less than "Low."

"Elevator" will probably see one more big surge in the next month, during the week in mid-March that Flo Rida's album drops. Whether it becomes as massive as "Low" after that will depend on how fast it catches on at radio. In the meantime, I think it's quite likely that at least one of the above five songs will interrupt tattoo-boy's epic run.

Here's a rundown of the rest of this week's charts:

• Yes, the White Stripes are No. 1 on a Billboard chart this week, and at first glance it appears impressive: Hot Singles Sales. They're tops there for the second week in a row with the third single from Icky Thump, the Patti Page cover "Conquest."

Thing is, Hot Singles Sales is the old-school, pre-iTunes chart that tracks actual physical singles—you remember those! So do Jack and Meg White, because they've released the track on a series of sexy colored-vinyl 45's, complete with trading cards and B-sides recorded with Beck. I don't have access to full SoundScan sales data, but suffice it to say it's unlikely that "Conquest" is selling much beyond the low five-figure range. Or even less: In a typical week, when there isn't a new CD single from an American Idol winner or a High School Musical star, the No. 1 single on Hot Singles Sales moves as little as 1,000 copies or less. So, as long as the Stripes keep copies of "Conquest" available, they could be leading this chart for months.

• The biggest digital-sales gainer on the Hot 100 is the second official single from American Idol season six winner Jordin Sparks. "No Air," her duet with Chris Brown, is up more than 40% in sales for the week and leaps 10 notches to No. 13 on the big chart.

That makes the song a likely near-term Top 10 candidate, but it's not the only one. Right now, there's a fleet of planes on the runway from Nos. 11 through 15, all with bullets and upward momentum: Miley Cyrus' "See You Again," Lupe Fiasco's "Superstar," "No Air," Alicia Keys' "Like You'll Never See Me Again," and Linkin Park's "Shadow of the Day."

• New No. 1 on the Hot Dance Club Play chart: Britney Spears's "Piece of Me," which peaked in the Top 20 of the Hot 100 a month ago. The strangest track entering that chart's Top 10: a remix of matchbox twenty's "How Far We've Come." Yes, that matchbox twenty. (Sorry to leave you with the image of Rob Thomas doing the running man.)

Top 10s
Last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses:

Hot 100
1. Flo Rida feat. T-Pain, "Low" (LW No. 1, 18 weeks)
2. Chris Brown, "With You" (LW No. 2, 13 weeks)
3. Rihanna, "Don't Stop the Music" (LW No. 3, 14 weeks)
4. Sara Bareilles, "Love Song" (LW No. 5, 17 weeks)
5. Alicia Keys, "No One" (LW No. 4, 25 weeks)
6. Timbaland feat. OneRepublic, "Apologize" (LW No. 6, 30 weeks)
7. Snoop Dogg, "Sensual Seduction" (LW No. 7, 13 weeks)
8. Sean Kingston, "Take You There" (LW No. 8, 17 weeks)
9. Webbie, Lil' Phat & Lil' Boosie, "Independent" (LW No. 10, 14 weeks)
10. Buckcherry, "Sorry" (LW No. 9, 12 weeks)

Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs
1. Keyshia Cole, "I Remember" (LW No. 1, 17 weeks)
2. Alicia Keys, "Like You'll Never See Me Again" (LW No. 2, 18 weeks)
3. J. Holiday, "Suffocate" (LW No. 3, 21 weeks)
4. Mary J. Blige, "Just Fine" (LW No. 4, 22 weeks)
5. Chris Brown, "With You" (LW No. 7, 13 weeks)
6. Mario, "Cryin' Out for Me" (LW No. 5, 26 weeks)
7. The-Dream, "Falsetto" (LW No. 6, 12 weeks)
8. Webbie, Lil' Phat & Lil' Boosie, "Independent" (LW No. 10, 19 weeks)
9. Snoop Dogg, "Sensual Seduction" (LW No. 8, 16 weeks)
10. Flo Rida feat. T-Pain, "Low" (LW No. 9, 23 weeks)

Hot Country Songs
1. Rodney Atkins, "Cleaning This Gun (Come on in Boy)" (LW No. 1, 23 weeks)
2. Kenny Chesney with George Strait, "Shiftwork" (LW No. 4, 19 weeks)
3. Brad Paisley, "Letter to Me" (LW No. 3, 20 weeks)
4. Alan Jackson, "Small Town Southern Man" (LW No. 5, 16 weeks)
5. Carrie Underwood, "All-American Girl" (LW No. 7, 13 weeks)
6. Gary Allan, "Watching Airplanes" (LW No. 2, 32 weeks)
7. Chuck Wicks, "Stealing Cinderella" (LW No. 9, 27 weeks)
8. Billy Ray Cyrus with Miley Cyrus, "Ready, Set, Don't Go" (LW No. 6, 31 weeks)
9. Chris Cagle, " What Kinda Gone" (LW No. 11, 32 weeks)
10. Trace Adkins, " You're Gonna Miss This" (LW No. 12, 12 weeks)

Hot Modern Rock Tracks
1. Foo Fighters, "Long Road to Ruin" (LW No. 1, 18 weeks)
2. Seether, "Fake It" (LW No. 2, 26 weeks)
3. Linkin Park, "Shadow of the Day" (LW No. 3, 21 weeks)
4. Paramore, "crushcrushcrush" (LW No. 4, 15 weeks)
5. Foo Fighters, "The Pretender" (LW No. 5, 30 weeks)
6. Puddle of Mudd, "Psycho" (LW No. 10, 17 weeks)
7. Avenged Sevenfold, "Almost Easy" (LW No. 6, 21 weeks)
8. Rise Against, "The Good Left Undone" (LW No. 7, 35 weeks)
9. Radiohead, "Bodysnatchers" (LW No. 8, 18 weeks)
10. The Bravery, "Believe" (LW No. 9, 21 weeks)

[Photos: AP]

Susan Hallam, who led the team, said it was likely the guitar would soon overtake the violin as the most widely taught instrument, with children being inspired by bands such as the White Stripes...

The study found that 19% of primary school pupils having specialist music tuition were learning the violin, down from 24% two years ago.

There were also falls for the recorder, specialist singing lessons, flute and clarinet. But the proportion of pupils learning the guitar is now at more than 18%, another year on year rise...
The composer Andrew Lloyd Webber, who is backing the campaign to raise music standards in schools, said: "The day of lip-sync manufactured pop is dying. Now everything is about live performance."

Sure, these numbers might be all kinds of different if voice-correcting, manufactured pop-assisting ProTools was part of schools' music-related curricula, but keep the dream alive, Andrew.

Violin Losing Out To Guitar In Music Lessons [Guardian]

Shortly after Meg White bailed on the White Stripes tour, a supposed sex tape of her surfaced on the Internet. Denials flew fast and furious; although the dark-haired woman in the video kinda looked like White, her camp eagerly declared it a hoax. Again, one couldn't help but think of Zeppelin, who indulged in plenty of on-the-road shenanigans of their own. If such a tape had been circulated back in 1976, the band probably wouldn't have confirmed or denied it. The reality mattered less than the myth. The fans knew rock stars were larger than life—and that the audience wanted both them and their music to stay that way.

Translated: "That Meg White, ain't she a pussy?" Because, you know, having people think that they're watching a grainy Webcam video of you getting fucked from behind that someone had (possibly maliciously!) leaked is equivalent to having people spread, by word-of-mouth, a rumor that may or may not be true about you making a groupie look like the dumb slut she is. It's such a laughable analogy that the only reason I can think of it coming up is that the powers that be at TNR decided their Web site needed some "meg white sex tape"-enabled hits. Or does Browne's subtext really boil down to "ew, girls, get out of rock, you are not tough enough!" Or did he just think that the sex tape needed more fish?

Whole Lotta Love [TNR]

maura@idolator: so do you think the meg white sex tape is legit
unidentified_lurker: oh my god where did you see that?
unidentified_lurker: i mean i've seen it
maura@idolator: it was on google trends
unidentified_lurker: i'm saying who is purporting it's legit
unidentified_lurker: it's a message board joke
unidentified_lurker: i was thinking about forwarding it to you
unidentified_lurker: as a funny joke
unidentified_lurker: it's great to have a video on the internet for indie rock people to jerk off and pretend it's meg white tho

And we all know how that turned out. Anyway, The Daily Swarm plumbed the archives of the message board Hipinion and found where the clip was born—the mind of a poster named Itsmecraig:

On Monday, September 17, at 6:17 AM, a long-time member of the Hipinion forum community started a thread entitled MEG WHITE SEX TAPE with a simple link to a homemade porn video featuring a female sex partner who bore more than a passing resemblance to a certain rock and roll drummer. A brief 8-hour, 40-post debate ensued over the authenticity of its subject - with many of the same jokes that were soon to be made all over the world - before the thread slipped into the archives.

Until yesterday. You know what happened next.

What did "Itsmecraig" have to say about it after the story broke wide open? Here it is straight from the horse's mouth:

oh shit dudes,

i found this video through random wank mining efforts and put it up here cause i figured you guys would have a laugh. it had nothing to do with meg white when i found it.

And look what happened. People, this is what happens when you believe what you read on the Internet—unless, of course, it's from friends who you are drunkenly instant-messaging with late at night and who are on their shit, as my lurky, unidentified friend who gave me a scoop that I am kicking myself for not following up on is.

(Also, I seriously should have Googled the filename of the clip as a way to figure out just where the hell it came from. Let this be a lesson to us all.)

Back to the source: 'Itsmecraig' started the Meg White sex tape scandal [The Daily Swarm]

Moe Tkacik, Jezebel:
"I definitely think that Meg White is stupid enough to film herself having sex. I did not expect her to have the stomach rolls, because she seemed to be doing the celebrity shrinkage thing, but when was this allegedly shot? It's kind of disappointing as a piece of filmography but not bad as porn goes."

Christopher Weingarten, Paper Thin Walls editor:
"No one thinks it's real. Indie rock people aren't fucking stupid. (Ed. note: I doubt that VERY HIGHLY.) This is the indie-rock equivalent of having a Saudi prince ask you to hold his money for him, except you can jerk off to it. Also, only really famous people are stupid enough to tape themselves having sex."

Matthew Perpetua, blogger and White Stripes fan:
"I really really doubt it. I mean, she's got a recognizable face, but you know, there's a lot of stacked girls with dark hair and a pale complexion out there making sex tapes. Maybe she's trying to make Jack White angry, and this is her way of doing it?"

Maria Tessa Sciarrino, blogger and photographer:
""If I didn't know Logan Echolls was living in a swank hotel, I would have wagered this was a deleted scene from the "President Evil" episode of Veronica Mars."

Jess Harvell, my other half:
"Zzzzzz."

Meanwhile, the comments sections of Brooklyn Vegan and Stereogum are half-rubberneckers, half-morally outraged types who probably watched the damn thing anyway. And if you're unemployed/"freelancing," feel free to watch the whole thing (link to ONTD, which links to a NSFW page) and vote in our poll:

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Meg White's Sex Tape? [ONTD]

MD: A lot has already been written about Icky Thump. What have people gotten right and what have they gotten wrong?

JW: I'd say 90 percent of what they got is from the press release. We have fun putting funny things in there—like in the press release for Elephant [2005], somebody inserted a joke about how none of our studio equipment was made after 1963. Journalists are inherently the laziest people on earth. Even in the age of Google, they don't do any work to check what they're writing about. Before you knew it, people thought we wouldn't touch a piece of equipment unless it's 60 years old or something! It gets to the point where you're answering questions based on a joke somebody made. [laughs]

MD: But part of the fun of the White Stripes is your sense of mystery, which is why people get things wrong. It's like the way Led Zeppelin was mysterious: People had to invent stuff to make sense of it all.

JW: It sucks because it affects everything I read now. Anytime I pick up a music magazine, I assume 90 percent of it is incorrect, so I make up my own things to believe. Everyone knows the phrase "Don't believe everything you read," but how many people actually practice it?

Of course, the irony of this story making its way around the blogosphere is the fact that most of the people giggling at Jack's statements are referring the NME's report of the Interview article, and not the Interview q-and-a reprinted above. OK, OK, so the Interview site is an overly Flashy browser-choker, but was I the only person wishing that the NME had added something like "He also admits that he first heard about 'his new favorite band, Snow Patrol' in our pages"? Watching that ball get picked up and run with would have been a terrific way to spend a slow-ass news day.

Interview [Official site]

Above, video of the White Stripes performing "Hotel Yorba" on a Winnipeg bus yesterday, when they were accompanied against their will by two overexcited fans who don't really understand the "inside voice" concept. (Do you want to bet that one of the screamers was using her lungs for the sole purpose of telling pals that, yes, she was there, and you could tell because of her way-too-audible yelping?)

The White Stripes play gig on city bus [NME]

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The trouble started when the band announced that the first 200 CD's sold at the temporary store when it opened at midnight Monday night and re-named "Icky Thump Records" for the occasion, would receive free tickets to the concert.

White Stripes fans began congregating in front of the closed retailer on the Sunset Strip in the early evening Saturday, even though no public facilities existed for them. That was when neighbors began reporting that they were witnessing incidences of public urination and defecation.

Neighbors complained to the city, which sent out code compliance officers, according to acting Code Compliance Manager Jeffrey Aubel. One neighbor, activist Jerome Cleary, reported that as many as a dozen people were continuously "camped out" on the Sunset Strip beginning late Saturday. "The skateboarding and the noise began Saturday night and continued through the weekend," he said.

According to Thelma Jackson, who lives a block north of the location on Horn at Shoreham Drive, the need for some public facilities became blindingly clear on Monday afternoon.

"I noticed all the people when I left my house on Monday morning. When I went out at 10:30 there were a few, but when I came back at 11:30 there was a crowd," she said.

She said she didn't think too much of that until she went out again at 4:00 that afternoon and saw people "laying out in the street, camping out," she said, without any security guards present. "When I came back up the hill I saw a fellow coming out of a drop off next to my building. He was pulling up his pants and fixing his belt."

Oh, how the temptation to use the phrase "icky dump" is nearly killing us.

An Icky Situation [WeHoNews.com]

- "The band's sound and method are 10 years old now, and this record is structurally familiar — with an approximation of a radio hit (its big-riff title track), a few blues longueurs and folk miniatures — but slightly more grandiose. Its rock is louder, its campiness richer. ('Little Cream Soda' is the closest they've gotten to metal; the album's only song not written by Mr. White, 'Conquest,' copped off a Patti Page record, is chest-beating kitsch.) The setup's the same, the colors richer." [New York Times]
- "Revisiting old territory also carries with it the hazard of backward comparison, and the highest highs of Icky can't quite reach the altitude of the band's breakthrough singles, but some of that inadequacy is tempered by the group's more robust sound— De Stijl now feels anorexic in a side-by-side taste-test. Whether it was remembering their own advice from 'Little Room' or the freedom to write in another mode with the Raconteurs, White's strategy worked its rejuvenating magic, allowing the Stripes to roll back the stone on Icky Thump. 8.0" [Pitchfork]
- "Far more indicative of Icky Thump's many qualities is 'Rag and Bone': a fantastic song, ferociously played, its lightness far removed from the dispiriting murk of Get Behind Me Satan. As Jack White hams it up as a Deep South Steptoe - "Well lookit all this stuff!" - Meg White stars whispering in a voice completely at odds with the hokey tone. 'It fits me perfect,' she murmurs, sounding both menacing and weirdly sexy. 'Give it to me.' For a shivery instant, the song's mood is turned upside down. The White Stripes' sell-by date seems further off than ever. Four out of five stars." [Guardian]

- First, the band news: Ornette Coleman collapsed from heat stroke during his set on Sunday, but he appears to be OK. [Billboard]
- The Police: Awesome! [NYTimes]
- The Police: Awful! [LATimes Buzz Bands]
- David Cross, Lily Allen and Gov't Mule's Warren Haynes got into a possibly spirited back-and-forth about hippies. [Spinner.com]
- The guy from the Long Winteres stuck it to that Ben Harper dude! [MSNBC]
- By day two, things got smelly. But at least Wayne Coyne pulled out the Page-style double-necker. [EW]
- ?uestlove will gladly pose for a photo, but he damn sure isn't going to give it more than a half-smile. [Loudersoft]

[Photo: Getty Images]

But a bigger question was left practically untouched: why would a major commercial radio station resort to playing pirated MP3s in the first place?

"It's hard to be the leader in new music," says Spike. "Say a record leaks and kids are passing it around on the Internet for two weeks. [Record labels] still want me to talk about the world premiere broadcast I'm gonna do. And you wonder why people listening to the radio don't think of us as a source of new music anymore. They're getting it before we are."

Listening habits have changed dramatically in recent years, due in part to the rise of on-demand media and the popularity of products like the iPod, which allow people to choose not only what they consume but when they consume it. Satellite radio networks XM and Sirius both offer upwards of 200 commercial-free channels, and there are countless Internet radio stations and podcasts catering to even the most esoteric niches. If none of those options suits you, and you don't have any qualms about copyright infringement, downloading music illegally has never been easier.

The entire radio industry is struggling to adapt, but for stations like Q101, geared toward audiences between the ages of 18 and 34, it's an even bigger challenge. "Alternative is under an immense amount of pressure at this point," says Fred Jacobs, president of Jacobs Media, a nationwide consulting firm that helped popularize the classic-rock format in the mid-80s and advises both Q101 and its sister station, the Loop 97.9. "The Gen-Y audience in particular has a tremendous amount of media and tech options available to them. When it comes to the use of FM radio as the primary medium for exposure to new music, those numbers are lower for alternative than for mainstream rock or classic rock. I mean, it's still the number one source by a long shot, but a lot of other factors are coming into play: everything from social networking sites to iTunes to sites like Rhapsody."

If anything, Q101—which has as its current slogan the unwieldy phrase "Everything alternative, now on shuffle"—was probably hoping for one other outcome: gaining in alternative rebel-cred what it's lost in the possibility of an exclusive White Stripes interview. After this kerfuffle, which garnered the station a lot of attention, Q101 can now tell prospective listeners that it loves music so much, it's willing to risk the wrath of Jack White to prove it. Of course, proof of the station's love for music would probably be better provided by not having warmed-over bands from 2001 comprise the lineup for their signature show of the summer, but that move probably wouldn't get nearly as much ink.

Why Play Leaks? [Chicago Reader]

The White Stripes will be performing a very special show in West Hollywood, CA on June 20th. The band will play a live show for fans at a specially constructed "Icky Thump Records" store on Sunset Boulevard. The location of Icky Thump Records is the site of the former Tower Records flagship store at 8801 W. Sunset Blvd. Tickets for this unique performance will be made available to the first 200 fans who purchase the album at this store, which opens at midnight on Monday, June 18th.

Is it wrong that our first thought upon reading this news was, "Man, wouldn't it be great if someone showed up and ask if there are any copies of Lost Highway in stock?" We're guessing no, just because we can imagine Jack White's reaction.

White Stripes playing 'Icky Thump Records' in LA [Brooklyn Vegan]

Anyway, word of Icky Thump's escape from pre-release embargoland reached Jack White—who was all the way in Spain—pretty quickly, and instead of sending the Web Sheriff after Electra, he rang up the station. She recounted the tale on her blog:

At 4pm today, Jack White called Q101's main offices from Spain, where they're touring, looking specifically for me, to yell at ME for leaking the album and, in part, being "messed up for the entire (music) business." (Edit - I listened to the call again today, and I apologize for initially misquoting Jack.) I felt like I was going to throw up. Weirdest, most surreal conversation of my life.

Jack asked me to take responsibility for leaking the record, and asked if I was sorry for what I'd done. S&T both jumped into the call - I was clearly flustered - and backed me 100%. We tried to explain where we were coming from - someone gave us a copy of a record that we were really excited to play, and the whole experience was an hour-long lovefest for him and his band - but he wasn't having it. He hung up, very, very angry, and I thought I was going to cry. Instead, I drank some beers that the Fix had left in the studio. Room temperature Bud Light. Delicious.

After speaking to Jack's manager and getting their side of the story, Spike and I went on the air with S&T to open up the situation to the listeners. We respected Jack's desire not to be on the air and didn't re-air the call, but we talked about what was said and what happened. I'm extremely grateful to everyone who called in supporting us. I don't think I did anything wrong, and I don't think I am helping to ruin the music industry. I think I made people excited for the new White Stripes record. I know that was our intention.

A noble explanation, and really, one that may have flown in the pre-download era. But now? Considering that the radio-to-radio-rip process is lightning-fast, "enthusiasm" like Electra's is rarely contained to a moment in time, or even a geographical area. And the fact that the songs sound like they're coming out of a tin can probably makes the circulated leak even more annoying for White, who gave his recording process a slight upgrade on this album. (Who knows? Maybe the crummy fidelity will make people want to buy the record—okay, okay, we're being naive.)

So Does This Make Me A Pimp and a Prostitute Too? [electra: queen of snark, via Web Vomit]

The White Stripes - You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told) [MP3, link removed]

Video Premiere: 'Icky Thump' by the White Stripes [Spinner]

The White Stripes - Icky Thump [MP3, link removed]

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ARTIST Radiohead
STATUS Fulfilled its six-album EMI contract years ago; currently recording a new album without a deal.
PROS Critical darlings with a rabidly devotional fanbase.
CONS Can be a bit prickly, not to mention unpredictable: Sign them up for a multi-album deal, and they might just turn in two records' worth of toaster-oven feedback and slide-whistle bloops.

ARTIST Moby
STATUS Left label-less after the V2 meltdown.
PROS Omnipresent knob-twiddler may not be selling as many records as he did in his Play days, but he remains a music-licensing goldmine.
CONS Omnipresent; knob-twiddler.

ARTIST Coldplay
STATUS Two more albums left on the band's Capitol deal, including this year's Pull My Finger.
PROS Chris Martin's songs fill radio playlists and big-seat stadiums around the world, and the band's following includes everyone from alt-rock nerds to cool moms.
CONS They'll make you rich, but you'll spend half your time fetching nappies and lobbying for free-trade toilet paper.

ARTIST Michael Jackson
STATUS After a career on Epic, signed up with Bahrain-based indie Two Seas Records; deal didn't take long to dissolve.
PROS Artists still love him: If the will.i.am-produced album goes as planned, expect plenty of big-name guest stars. Considering his track record, he could mount a comeback.
CONS Considering his track record, he could also mount a seven-year-old.

Sheridan Square has basically shuttered its frontline V2 record business as part of restructuring to focus on its catalog releases and the future opportunities presented by digital distribution.

Today (Jan. 12), the company let go its V2 staff, including president Andy Gershon, and will reorganize the business in its Nashville office, where the company's COO Michael Olsen will oversee the catalog business. About 35 people are believed to have lost their jobs as part of the restructuring.

As part of that move, the company will retain the White Stripes catalog, but will no longer issue new music by the duo or other frontline artists such as Moby or the Raconteurs, sources say. The only genre the company plans to participate in the frontline going forward is gospel.

The biggest loser in this restructuring? Garage revivalists The Mooney Suzuki, whose new album, Have Mercy, was scheduled to come out Jan. 30. And are the Blood Brothers—who were previously signed to the doomed imprint ArtistDirect—one of the unluckiest bands ever?

V2 Restructured, White Stripes, Moby Become Free Agents [Billboard]
Previously: Record Labels: They May Be In Some Sort Of Trouble

Despite the fact that they haven't released an album in nearly a year and a half—and that, for all we know, may not put out another one until the Raconteurs stop racontouring—the White Stripes have somehow become the biggest rock band on television: Last night's Veronica Mars (pictured) featured two characters dressed up as Jack and Meg; an early episode of the always-on-the-cutting-edge Studio 60 had a failed sketch on the siblings, requring poor Nate Corddry to wear a black wig; and Bart Simpson faced off against the band in the Simpsons season premiere.

We're not trying to be Jack-bashers here, but considering that the Stripes have been out of circulation for a while now, it's kind of sad that the Mars and Studio 60 showrunners couldn't come up with a slightly more of-the-moment artist to telegraph their musical awareness. As far as Hollywood is concerned, the Stripes in 2006 are becoming what Pearl Jam was in, say, 1993: A safe, easy-to-understand cultural shorthand for "cool." It probably doesn't even matter what kind of music they put out—or if they're putting music out at all; Aaron Sorkin heard four years ago that the White Stripes were awesome, and dammit, he's gonna use 'em.

That said, we hope the real-life Jack White cameos on Mars sometime soon, and slaps that Logan guy around. That kid is bad news.

The White Stripes On The Simpsons [YouTube]

UPDATE: It's just been brought to our attention that White has a sense of humor. Check out his "picture" in the "History" section.

1731 Seminole [official site]