One of those people who popped out of CNN's R2D2 was "Yes I Can" composer will.i.am, who now has some measure of newsworthiness because of that damned song. A good portion of the interview was talking about the "Oh, cool!" factor of being beamed via hologram. The rest was devoted to Will.i.am's "political" "thoughts," which have been given unfortunate credibility by his viral video. I shudder to think about that celebrity-ridden pile of self-aggrandizement being shown in politics classes for years to come as an example of "successful" political discourse. Ugh.

But, yeah, the hologram? Pretty cool. Totally useless. And not just because it was Will.i.am that was beamed aboard.

Princess Leia hologram reporting for CNN! [Yahoo!]

First, he's jumping on Nokia's sinking ship called Comes With Music, even though the service seems a bit problematic: "We need a different type of digital store... iTunes isn't enough. Nokia stepping up is fresh. Nokia got lock on—how many phones in the world? I travel the world. Everywhere I go, there's more Nokia phones than anywhere else." Hey, that sounds perfect for a press release, no?

Second, there's a Black Eyed Peas disc in the works, but this time, the band's grand vision has expanded beyond just that whole silly music thing.

"For the last remaining stores that sell CDs, this is the last Christmas that CDs will be in stores," Will predicted. "It's f**king scary." He added that the Peas are exploring new methods of online delivery. "We're just finishing the songs and collaborating with the software guys," he said, noting that he wants music to be embedded with information and even "songs within songs" when the user clicks on a pop-up.

"I'm tired of making songs for the radio and for MTV," Will explained to Billboard. "You should make songs for where songs are actually being listened and played. We have new people - software programmers. They are just as important as me, apl.de.ap, Taboo and Fergie. That's us, the visual members. But nowadays it isn't just physical with music and content anymore - you have to have proprietary software. Just borrowing other people's shit doesn't empower the growth and how you monetize that content, so that's why it's important that we got a software guy that is part of the Peas."

I'm not sure how the software guy is going to fit into the band's dynamic, but odds are he'll be less irritating than the last person they added.

Mixtape Monday [MTV]
Black Eyed Peas Plan Interactive Tunes [FMQB]

While I had been wondering who the white guy from the movie Barbershop is voting for, is this sort of campaigning actually helping? I sort of lazily climbed on the Obama bandwagon after my Edwards dreams were crushed, but the weird cult of personality that's surrounding the guy is really starting to creep me out—and having the guy responsible for Fergie in his corner isn't helping.

will.i.am, I've seen your future, and it looks a lot like MC Hammer's. You two certainly covered similar ground musically:

Hammer was on top once too, but then the weight of hubris brought him back down to size. But hey, he's back with the all-dance-video site Dance Jam, so there's at least some light at the end of the tunnel, pal. Either way, head off to obscurity with some class, and spare us another video civics lesson.

Will.I.Am - We Are The Ones [Youtube]

Psyche^*. They're actually at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas showing off the "John Lennon Educational Tour Bus," which is kind of like the Stripes RV, except instead of machine guns it's got "a high-end Apple Mac Pro loaded with Ableton Live, Logic Studio, Final Cut Studio and Sibelius music notation software, supplemented by an Apple XServe and XRAID system which facilitates high-bandwidth HD multimedia production and storage" and is rolling from town to town to "provide students with free hands-on opportunities to make music, produce video projects, and shoot digital photos in the mobile recording studios. The Lennon Bus also has an illustrious history as a hit maker, with chart topping singles from The Black Eyed Peas and Fergie recorded on board." Which should make anyone proud, but most especially these guys:

"The Bus, a 501(c)(3) venture, is made possible through the generosity of sponsors including Maxell Corporation, Apple, NAMM, Roland, Godin Guitars, Edirol by Roland, Sibelius, Audio-Technica, Sonicbids, Digidesign, Aphex Systems, Sony, Musician's Friend, Neutrik, Glyph Technologies, Ampeg, Ableton, Mackie, Crate, Apogee, Disc Makers, Smart Technologies, Antares, Bogen Imaging, IK Multimedia, McDSP, SKB, Ultimate Support, PureVolume.com, Planet Waves, Spectrasonics, Music Player Network, Native Instruments, and Boss."

And the creative spirit of John Lennon! Don't forget!

will.i.am Joins Yoko Ono To Introduce The John Lennon Educational Tour Bus [ProHipHop]

^* Sorry. I really promise to never do that again. But I just couldn't resist.

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: "Remixing" or "updating" or "mauling" Thriller is pointless/infuriating out the box, so best to assess these new versions of MJ's classics by will.i.am, Akon, Fergie, and Kanye West (released to coincide with the album's 25th anniversary) for what they are. The hump-happy results can easily blind you to what a great producer will.i.am can be, and while his slap-bass and Euro-house synth rewrites of "The Girl Is Mine" and "P.Y.T" sound garish as hell next to the originals, they'd make excellent pop radio singles circa 2007. Similarly, Akon's "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' " is passable once you get through the Bruce Hornsby piano and chintzy synth horns of the intro, and an obviously awed Kanye merely adds chunky drums and clouds of strings to the original synth hook and bass twang of "Billie Jean." Fergie's "Beat It," however, is just as horrific as you may have imagined, the original with Fergie copied and pasted in like a leathery Natalie Cole. Her awkward, husky intrusions point up the chief redundancy of these remixes: Do we really need other voices, especially when its will.i.am talking about peeling panties "like a tangerine," competing with Michael?

WHERE TO LET FERGIE KICK YOU AND BEAT YOU AND TELL YOU IT'S FAIR: The Leak Source, if you dare.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Obama '08 [Official Site; HT DHMBIB]
"You And I" No More? [Political Radar via the Daily Swarm]

^* Possibly wishful thinking on the part of your reporter.

On the surface, it looks like Times staff writer August Brown has made a most sincere attempt to pay Interscope back for a hookup with great tickets to a recent TV On The Radio gig with a press release masquerading itself as an article for a major newspaper (note: this scenario might not have actually happened). But Brown's piece should result in Ted Field and Jimmy Iovine readying themselves for a Clive Davis-style intervention. There are some signs within this desperately fawning article that Will.I.Am might have a real stinker on his hands—and not even in the "What kind of self-loathing idiot would actually purchase this thing?" way that the Fergie album stinks:

Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas heartily endorses the practice of safe sex. But what should one do to protect against the possible emotional damage from coupling up?

"I wish there were a kind of heart condom," Will said. "Say I'm a skanky dude who gave my girlfriend herpes. Now, you can take a cream and make that disappear. But for the rest of their life, they're going to be jaded."

First of all, it's obvious Mr. I.Am didn't do terribly well in Health class back at Palisades High, but beyond that, when someone's talking about an imagined prophylactic for one's emotions, you get the feeling that he isn't drawing from the same inspirational wellspring that created "My Humps."

Will (who's quick to add that he is in fact disease-free) has a more reliable tactic for fending off the ache of a breakup: Write an album about it. "Songs About Girls," the third solo album from the Peas' producer and rapper, due Sept. 25 from will.i.am Music Group/Interscope, walks the unlikely line between a Patrón-soaked party record and a meta-concept album detailing the aftermath of a particularly vicious dumping.

While I don't doubt that an entire section in the music store of the future will be dedicated to "Patrón-soaked party record(s)," the R&B market of today isn't really screaming out to hear the contents of Will's friends-only Livejournal entries from the days when he wasn't sure if love even existed (at least for someone like him), no matter how "meta" the album's "concept" might be.

The record's likely first single, "I Got It From My Mama," suggests that Will has recovered nicely; its blunt-as-a-brick-wall chorus hook makes "My Humps" seem positively Churchillian. But like any love that ends unfortunately, the album has many stages of grief. "It's Over" finds Will sulking over a crisp funk bass line, while "I'm a Heart Breaker" gives him an electro-soul outlet to cop to his bad habits in relationships.

"I Got It From My Mama" lacks the vocal synthesizing so popular on the urban airwaves these days, but it does have some promise as a hit, discussing the relative quality of women's bodies and the complicated genetics of human childbirth in a fun party atmosphere. However, the R&B world has beaten Will.I.Am to the punch, covering a more contemporary multi-stage grief process: feelings of suicide, followed by alcoholism, then a somewhat sincere apology.

At this point, frankly, it seems like we should be concerned about Will.I.Am's mental health.

"I was so broken up about it. Now I'm picking fruit," Will said, ever ready with a chin-stroking metaphor. "I've got so many oranges, limes, grapes. I'm supplying Ralphs and Whole Foods."

Mr. I.Am, Idolator begs you, even if August Brown wasn't brave enough to say it: stop this solo album madness before it's too late. We're only saying this for your own good. You can thank us later by accidentally erasing the Pro Tools files for the next Fergie disc. That should even things up, as far as we're concerned.

Peas leader has ex-rated album ready [LA Times]