And so, courtesy of a beatific cover illustration—complete with halo—Rolling Stone gets in the tank for Sen. Obama.

Keyboard Krybaby probably should have seen it coming, but he thought RS publisher/editor-in-chief Jann Wenner might have had a lingering loyalty to Sen. Clinton's husband. Clearly though, Mr. Wenner took note of Obama's Super Tuesday rout and concluded that this issue would hit stands last Wednesday, a day after his new "guy" was supposed to have taken the Ohio and Texas primaries and essentially the nomination.

Inconveniently, Sen. Clinton prevailed in those states and in Rhode Island. Thus the March 20 issue contains National Affairs Correspondent Matt Taibbi's essay "Hillary's Last Stand," which commences with the sentence "It's February 25th, T-Minus eight days until the end for Hillary Rodham Clinton, the most celebrated female martyr since Joan of Arc." Equally unfortunately, Taibbi describes her "Alamo campaigns in Texas and Ohio" before they had concluded. A few "if this is indeed the end" qualifiers fail to cloak the essay's now-silly looking intention.

While the piece more or less serves as a premature obituary, Taibbi makes a few good points. "The overall vibe of (Clinton's) campaign," he writes, "is now grounded in a kind of disbelieving outrage that a substanceless male charmer like Obama (or, one might add, her husband) could succeed in putting one over on so many people."

Taibbi is not without sympathy for Clinton—or at least he is respectful of the fact that "the first campaign of a serious female presidential contender is different simply because it is." He recognizes that many of Clinton's female supporters identify with the various humiliations visited upon her, but concludes that her status as an irretrievably compromised creature of Washington and as an enabler of the war should trump any considerations vis-à-vis her gender. Fine stuff from Taibbi, as usual, but KK wonders if he has similarly trenchant observations about Obama that he must suppress in his role as Wenner's hitman/ score-settler.

Rolling Stone presumably could not secure Sen. Obama for an interview, so the issue's big reportorial presentation is Contributing Editor Tim Dickinson's "The Machinery of Hope," in which we learn of the candidate's post-Howard Dean grass roots/social networking hybrid. But the issue's centerpiece is the Rolling Stone endorsement, titled "A New Hope."

Of course, the endorsement is written by Mr. Wenner. He says that he first learned of Sen. Obama from "a man who was at the highest level of George W. Bush's political organization through two presidential campaigns" and one who told Wenner "that he would not work for any Republican candidate in 2008 if Obama was nominated." It is very likely that the man to whom Wenner refers is Mark McKinnon, the chief media strategist for Bush's presidential campaigns and a current McCain adviser who has made identical statements all over the place (McKinnon says he will support McCain from "the sidelines" in the event of Obama's nomination). Wenner also says that Sen. Clinton "was" a bad manager and strategist, using the past sense and thus assuming her campaign would have expired by last week.

Wenner goes on to recount nearly every bromide common to Obama supporters: his guy "renounces the politics of fear," "the similarities between John F. Kennedy and Barack Obama come to mind," and that he's "Lincoln-esque." But RS' standard-bearer departs from the pack when he cites the most notorious passage in Obama's 1995 autobiography Dreams From My Father: "he drifted through some druggy teenage years—no apologies!!—before emerging as a star at Harvard Law School." Obviously, Mr. Wenner, whose prodigious appetites in this regard are detailed in Robert Draper's Rolling Stone Magazine: The Uncensored History, clearly can get behind a guy who has said that getting high was "the point."

Finally, "...in electing an African-American," Wenner writes, "we also profoundly renounce an ugliness and violence in our national character that have been further stoked by our president in these last eight years." Wenner returned to this meme as late as Monday night in his opening remarks at the induction ceremony of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, of which he is the chairman. After spectacularly clumsy, needless and patronizing references to blues music, its African-American practitioners and the debt all rock and rollers have to both, Wenner made an equally graceless and petty reference to how Sen. Clinton might have a problem with African-Americans getting their due.

Why? Because, even on a night that finds him and his cronies saluting the likes of Little Walter and Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff, Wenner has to make it about him and his bully pulpit.

Q-Tip is all:

"I've got Norah Jones on there, but Barack is the big one. You'll see what happens, I can't reveal too much."

Barack is apparantly going to speak through a song, perhaps in the way the Archbishop Don Magic Juan speaks through Snoop Dogg songs. And if Barack is hoping to sway Republican-leaning swing voters, he should know that Wikipedia points out:

The inventor of the cotton swab is supposed to have been one Leo Gerstenzang, in the 1920s. His product, which he named "Baby Gays", went on to become the most widely-sold brand name, "Q-tip".

He's so liberal, he's supporting baby gays now? Someone call Nancy Grace!

HE'S NOW O-TIP Page Six via XXL]

REPUBLICANS
Mike Huckabee: Ted Nugent

John McCain: Burt Bacharach

Ron Paul: Krist Novoselic, Arlo Guthrie

Mitt Romney: Pat Boone, Donny Osmond, Marie Osmond

DEMOCRATS
Hillary Clinton: Madonna, Carly Simon, Tony Bennett, Jon Bon Jovi, Melissa Etheridge, Carole King, Janet Jackson, Quincy Jones, 50 Cent, Mya, Timbaland, Barbra Streisand, Merle Haggard

Barack Obama: Babyface, the Goo Goo Dolls, Macy Gray, Ne-Yo, Will Smith, Usher, Stevie Wonder, Harry Connick Jr., Pete Wentz, Win Butler, will.i.am/the Black Eyed Peas, the Grateful Dead, Jeff Tweedy, Conor Oberst, Joanna Newsom, the Cool Kids, Stephan Jenkins, OK Go, Shudder to Think, Dave Matthews, Pearl Jam

Who are American musicians supporting on Super Tuesday? [Guardian]
Presidential Election '08: Pete Wentz Backs Barack Obama [Spin]
[Pic: CultPunk via WFMU's Beware of the Blog; HT EJ Friedman]

"I think as far as politics are concerned in music, most musicians shouldn't say anything unless they're willing to get into the trenches and fight," Mustaine told Metal Edge magazine in a 2007 interview. "I put in my Selective Service card when I was 18, but I didn't get drafted. In 1992 I went to the White House with the Rock the Vote campaign for the Democratic National Convention coverage. I was a participant in getting a bill passed into law, so I am ingrained in the history of this country. I'm probably one of the very few musicians, and the only one in metal that I know of [to do that]. But I'm also the unofficial elected official of the disenfranchised youth of America. I can get into the focus groups and actually say what is relevant. Even though I'm not 18 anymore or struggling with Stridex and testosterone, I do still have an 18-year-old inside of me."

For those keeping score at home, Dave turned 18 in 1979, making his efforts to not dodge a non-existent draft all the more heroic. But would we want someone who lets Lars Ulrich reduce him to tears in a combat situation anyway?

Megadeth's Dave Mustaine On Politicians Who Are Making Music Instead Of Facing It [Blabbermouth]

Robert Bruce, Violent J's brother, also known as Jump Steady, appears on one of the earliest political songs from the band. This song was recorded during Operation Desert Storm but speaks mountains of the situation we are currently in. Jumpsteady's verse is more about over coming "Ghetto Insanity", a common theme on the album Carnival Of Carnage, but he throws in a simple lyric which is increasingly applicable: "Damn they're stupid / Their minds must be failin' / Think I'd rather pay a little extra on a gallon / And save a human life or two."

The Clowns themselves have not articulated much on the war, however, in their comic book series, The Pendulum, we are treated to an open discussion between former Gulf War Veterans who very simply state that while in the middle east they raped and killed innocent women and children.

Barack Obama is different in this respect. He respects the soldiers and what they do and supports the use of military involvement. He does not, how ever, believe we should be fighting in an illegal war, using illegal tactics, fighting an invisible enemy. In 2002, at an Anti-War Rally in Chicago, Obama said, "I don't oppose all wars. And I know that in this crowd today, there is no shortage of patriots or of patriotism. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war."

Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope themselves have yet to come out in support of Obama like fellow Midwestern guyliner enthusiast Pete Wentz, and Obama himself hasn't started spraying his rallies with Faygo as an overture towards the clowns yet. But clearly the Juggalo vote should not be discounted, as it has all too often in the past. Sure, you're laughing now, but you won't be when the Dark Carnival issues the edict that they should all vote for Ron Paul instead. As one Stranger writer at great personal risk, they are already primed for Paultardery and waiting for the go sign from Gozer or whatever Juggalos worship.

Juggalo Politics [BarackObama.com via Line Out]

First the opinion of the more subdued, casual Mr. Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy:

"I've been an Obama supporter from day one," says Wentz. "After watching the New Hampshire primary, I couldn't just be an observer anymore - I had to act. Barack is the first politician who's ever made me feel like our voices actually matter."

And now the slightly more impassioned Mr. Win Butler of the Arcade Fire:

Barack is the first candidate in my lifetime to strip some of this bullshit away, and I just hope we don't blow this chance. man if we miss this opportunity we don't deserve it...how bad does it have to get?
fuck!!!!!!!!

Yes, it must really be terrible up there with your socialized medicine and ample basketballs. Don't waste all those government-funded exclamation points on us, defector.

Who's in for Team I Supported Obama before Pete Wentz Endorsed Him for Little Girls [icecreamheadcahes]
Arcade Fire [Official Site, but you gotta click "Win" and then "Win's Scrapbook" because of course the Arcade Fire are too frou-frou just to have a damn blog]
Related: The Indie Rock Presidential Primary [torr.typepad.com]

"I gotta admit - lately I've been listening to a lot of Jay-Z," he recently told BET. "This new American Gangster album is [good]. Kanye, I like. I enjoy some of the newer stuff. Honestly, I love the art of Hip-Hop. I don't always love the message of Hip-Hop." He's totally one of those rock critics who turns a blind eye to gangsta rap nastiness if it's coming from the famous guy that everyone likes! Actually to be serious for a moment (I know, I know): maybe I'm just a soft touch when it comes to folks appealing to my hope for a more nuanced discussion of art and morality in the current, particularly puritanical public sphere, but I'll admit I think it's totally boss that a (serious, non-crazy) presidential candidate is actually admitting to a conflict over his love for popular music that crosses traditional lines of good taste, rather than simply trashing it on its PMRC-stamped face. So boss, in fact, that I won't even close out with a snarky one-liner. Barack Obama just melts my cynicism away like Calgon.

Obama: "I Love The Art Of Hip-Hop" [AllHipHop]

Mitt Romney: That awful pop-dance remix of Elvis' "A Little Less Conversation"
Rating: C-
Reason: Song that was stupid huge hit in Europe a few years back = patently un-American.

John Edwards: Johnny Cougar's "My Country."
Rating: D
Reason: Inescapable Sunday sports-time Chevy ad = a little too patently American.

Rudy G.: Rascal Flatts' "Life Is A Highway"
Rating: C
Reason: Points deducted for snubbing Tom Cochrane in favor of bloaty pop-country dudes who write songs about "children in trouble."

Mike Huckabee: Lynyrd Skynrd - "Free Bird"
Rating: C+
Reason: Yes, yes, good song, but song by group whose members died in fiery plane crash, dedicated to a guy who died in a fiery motorcycle crash = not metaphorically shrewd.

Hillary Clinton: Big Head Todd And The Monsters - "Blue Sky"
Rating: C-
Reason: We haven't forgotten your Québécois first choice so quickly, turncoat.

Bill Richardson: Los Lobos' "Mess We're In"
Rating: C
Reason: Richie Rich might as well start playing Napalm Death songs for the hell of it.

Barack Obama: U2's "The City Of Blinding Lights"
Rating: C
Reason: A vote for Bono is a vote for allowing MacPhisto to publicly annoy us for at least another four years.

Ron Paul: Some song one of his creepy supporters wrote for him.
Rating: F
Reason: "F" this dude.

Overall rating: D. Ron Paul wreckin' the curve for everybody.

Presidental Playlists [WSJ]

I am surprised with how thoughtful and well-crafted this "mash-up" is. The Lennon song isn't one of my favorite holiday tunes, but I think this is pretty remarkable.

Cal-TV and Waxaudio - G.W. Bush Happy Xmas (War is Over) [MP3]
Cal-Tv and Waxaudio: G.W. Bush Happy Xmas (War is Over) [YouTube]
Wax Audio [Official site]

Around 4 p.m. yesterday I was dealing with the fact that I was not going to see "The Music of Seal on Ice," a benefit for Autism Speaks that'll air on TV next month, down in D.C. Tickets appeared to have sold out and Craiglist's scalpers were asking upwards of $300. (This was "Seal on Ice," not the Arcade Fire at Randall's Island!) But then, the gods of figure skating (Bill Klingbeil, perhaps?) smiled upon me and within minutes I was in a car, hoping the notoriously awful D.C. traffic wouldn't thwart this opportunity to marry two of my hobbies: figure skating and music. The two have a strange relationship. Figure skating is a sport that originated with royalty, and is now commonly associated with well-to-do families; so it comes as no surprise when the sport carts out music deeply coded with privilege. It's probably the only place George Bizet's Carmen is continously touted as cool and inspiring, where "trends" are thirty years behind the curve.

Even though the phrase "Seal on Ice" sounds ridiculous (even moreso to me; I IMed Maura this phrase endlessly over the past two days, mostly in caps), last night's performance—featuring, among others, Olympic gold medalists Brian Boitano and Kristi Yamaguchi—combined skating's stodgy-yet-luminescent demeanor and an artist known for brooding, uneasy music with mostly successful results. First of all, it sounded good; the Verizon Center managed to avoid the tinny, canned sound design of most rinks. More importantly, the choreography avoided overloading skaters with jumps and other bombastic gestures (except for Michael Weiss, who must be overcompensating for something given his backflip-laden performance), opting for moves that matched the music's muted nature. Performers like Boitano and Todd Eldredge (swoon) were impressive, but Caryn Kadavy and Yuka Sato's programs achieved breathtaking symbiosis with the darker moments in Seal's songs. Their strong control over their speed and power really separated them from the pack. Also impressive was the smoky performance of Silvia Fontana and John Zimmerman, whom many might recall from an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. There were a few moments of somewhat blah choreography, but I have a feeling it worked well for the camera.

Which is important, because last night was taped for television (first broadcast goes to NBC, then to the Style Network). So there were small gaps for editing in commercials, recording extra audience applause, and retakes. (Yes, retakes. This explains why you never see skaters fall on televised programs; at the end of the performance, producers make any skaters who flubbed their program re-skate any segments that contained errors.) Taped programs are filmed on smaller rinks to make it seem like skaters are covering large expanses of ice quickly (even if they're moving a bit slower than usual) and to conserve their energy. But it's still pretty fun; a lot happens in these situations that never make it to the final cut, like crazed fans being held back by security when they try to climb on the ice to give Kristi Yamaguchi flowers, or a cheering/heckling section for Michael Weiss getting a little overzealous, or Seal performing extra takes of particular songs (and hamming it up even more).

Seal sang five songs ("Wedding Day," "Kiss From A Rose," "Crazy," "System," and "Don't Cry"); otherwise, the skaters performed to recorded tracks. And even though the show was all scripted and stuff, I was impressed with Seal's decision to handle vocal duties live. There were some backing tracks, but otherwise it was all him. The biggest, most hilarious, and unfortunately never-to-be-televised moment came during "Don't Cry," which featured Brian Boitano. When the music started up, Seal's microphone wasn't on, and he was completely unaware of the situation due to his in-ear monitors. Just like a scene plucked from South Park, Brian saved the day by going up to Seal and tapping him on the shoulder to let him know the mic was dead. And then that happened two more times, causing the Michael Weiss hecklers to scream "WHAT WOULD BRIAN BOITANO DO?!?!" I came this close to wetting my pants from laughing so hard. Confidential to the companies who produce skating events: I really hope you'll consider putting these bloopers on DVD, because they are too hilarious to leave on the cutting room floor.

As for those hecklers: typically I would try and find cameraphone so as to include them in "Hey Asshole!," but those crazy fans really kept the audience energy up when the scripted pauses threatened to break up the show's flow. Best line of the night to rise out of the crowd, right before the start of Yuka Sato's program: "You sparkle so well!" All of last night's other performers—who were up to the task of transforming the moodiness of Seal into something quite effortless—did, too.

[Photo: Carrie Devorah / WENN]

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Obama '08 [Official Site; HT DHMBIB]
"You And I" No More? [Political Radar via the Daily Swarm]

^* Possibly wishful thinking on the part of your reporter.

Diamond was a "young, broke songwriter" when a photo of the president's daughter in a news magazine caught his eye.

"It was a picture of a little girl dressed to the nines in her riding gear, next to her pony," Diamond recalled. "It was such an innocent, wonderful picture, I immediately felt there was a song in there."

Years later, holed up in a hotel in Memphis, he would write the words and music in less an hour.

"It was a No. 1 record and probably is the biggest, most important song of my career, and I have to thank her for the inspiration," he said. "I'm happy to have gotten it off my chest and to have expressed it to Caroline. I thought she might be embarrassed, but she seemed to be struck by it and really, really happy."

The enduring hit recently reappeared on the singles chart, thanks in part to the Boston Red Sox. "Sweet Caroline" is played at every home game.

"I think they consider it good luck," Diamond said, adding that the Red Sox have become his favorite baseball team.

Hooray, she was touched. (Ha ha, get it?) Happy endings all around! Actually, a really happy ending for me would result from the revelation that the Red Sox are now Diamond's favorite team: Maybe this means "Caroline" will no longer get played during the eighth inning of Mets games. Sloppy seconds are so unappealing, am I right?

'Sweet Caroline' Was Caroline Kennedy [AP]

"I don't believe that [homosexuality] is the intention of God," McClurkin said Monday in a telephone interview. "Sexuality, everything is a matter of choice."

McClurkin said he does not believe in discriminating against homosexuals. "What people do in their bedrooms and who they are as human beings are two different things," he said.

Oh, okay. Got it.

Yes, it's more wonky logic from the moderate God squad. (Gotta cover yr ass if you're gonna be gettin' a check from the Dems.) But McClurkin's specious views are almost tame compared to pop's most famous out-and-proud homosexual-haters. It's not like Obama invited Bounty Killer to play a campaign rally during gay pride week.

Group To Obama: Drop Singer From Tour

The drive was just, and only, a drive, as I understand it - unmarked and unremarkable in every way. I've never seen it, I don't know; but I very much doubt the drive had a 'fuck Bush' sticker affixed to the top, or even so much as a jpeg rendering of that sticker stored inside. It's most likely that the the drive was seized because the courier went to a sub-optimal crossing point for commercial goods, and seemingly impossible that it was confiscated for any reason that would resemble a first amendment violation.

The curious bit, to all of us, was that the drive was confiscated but that the tapes (13 - 10" reels of 1/2" tape; clearly for professional use) were returned to Canada with the courier. This says to me that you can conduct any kind of cross-border business you'd like, as long as the border agent doesn't understand or can't imagine how or why an item would be related to any kind of commerce. It also says to me that I need to be more careful when I take my laptop across the border, apparently, because the working (formative, unmixable) version of the record was contained on it both going into and leaving Canada, and it could just as easily have been that. My Mac has a 120 GB hard drive in it, fully a third larger than the one in limbo, and my 'personal' and 'professional' lives are hopelessly intertwined on that machine.

I have not been in contact with US Border Security in any form regarding this issue - in a way, I'm a third party; my name may never have been uttered during this whole fiasco for all I know. Barsuk assures me unequivocally that US Border Security has not made an effort to get in touch with them, and I have no reason to disbelieve them; we have a pretty awesome working relationship of ten years now.

I do now have the files I need to complete the record. That much is true, and is very important. Barsuk, Warne and Zeitgeist Management have done everything they can do to ensure that much happened, but the drive is still in a black hole, and US Customs and Border Security is still an unnavigable swamp.

The incredible irony of this whole thing is that a border crossing wasn't actually necessary (though it did seem convenient) for the transmission of these files from Canada to the States. Record producers use FTP servers all the time to upload tracks to one another - I mean, for fuck's sake, Warne could theoretically have AIMed the entire record to me. From a Starbucks in Tokyo, if he wanted. The world doesn't do all its business on physical drives, and you can bet that the next time I need to get a record into, or back from Canada, no portable hard drive will be involved.

Death Cab for Cutie guitarist Chris Walla's Field Manual on how to generate hype for a new CD... [The Daily Swarm]
Earlier: Death Cab For Cutie Guitarist Deemed "Too Edgy" By Dept. Of Homeland Security

"We used the most popular P2P program, LimeWire, and ran a series of basic searches," Waxman said in his hearing statement. "What we found was astonishing: personal bank records and tax forms, attorney-client communications, the corporate strategies of Fortune 500 companies, confidential corporate accounting documents, internal documents from political campaigns, government emergency response plans and even military operation orders."

The information Waxman and his investigators found is often "inadvertently shared" when using P2P services to illicitly download music, movies, and other copyrighted works.

In a sweet piece of lazy-ass buck-passing, LimeWire CEO Mark Gorton's mea culpa sidestepped his software's poor security controls, blaming the meddling kids who use his program for fiddling with it and telling Congress to handle the issue its own damn self:

The only institution in the United States with the power to mandate the creation of an effective enforcement mechanism to police the Internet is the United States Congress," Gorton said.

Of course, my first thoughts upon reading all this were "Isn't there a war going on?" And "Who is still dumb enough to use LimeWire and to leave their tax records in view of some kid downloading Chilli Peppers songs?"

Waxman Puts Squeeze On LimeWire [Hollywood Reporter]

As far back as 1973, Taiwan has applied under the name "Republic of China" and every time China, a nation with a veto vote that considers the island as part of China, blocks the island's application. Instead of repeating the failed strategies of the past, Taiwan's government is planning a referendum next year to apply for UN membership under the name "Taiwan." ...

The Ozz is supporting the US leg of the world tour of Taiwanese goth-rock band ChthoniC, who will be the musical ambassadors of the next Taiwanese push to join the UN. ChthoniC will tour 80 cities in America, Canada, Britain and Germany over the next 5 months in an effort to spread the pro-UN message with literature passed out at shows and a large tour bus with a pro-UN slogan. ChthoniC has even written a song appealing to the UN to let Taiwan in.

The track, "UNlimited Taiwan," is streaming from the band's MySpace page (lyrics are here), and it should help sway the vote of any pro-shredding delegates, or at least those who have kids who are really into Static-X.

Taiwan Calls on Ozzy for UN Membership Effort [Small Swords]
ChthoniC [MySpace]

Waxman sent letters to LimeWire CEO Mark Gorton and StreamCast Networks CEO Michael Weiss asking them to explain what steps they've taken to ensure that users of the P2P services don't open up their computers to abuse.

The letters, the first steps in the investigation by Waxman's committee, come two years after copyright holders won a victory in the U.S. Supreme Court that found the Grokster P2P service illegally induced people to violate copyright laws.

While P2P services have faded from the news and congressional scrutiny, LimeWire and StreamCast are being sued for copyright infringement by the record labels.

Waxman appears to want to delve into reports that such sensitive data as loan applications, bank statements, credit reporting agency records, user ID and password lists and tax returns get inadvertently "shared" with millions of people. There also have been reports of sensitive government information being distributed through P2P.

In the letters, Waxman also asked if ".rar" is pronounced as either "rare" or "rarr, like a growl," and noted that several files labeled as "Chinese Democracy" were "way old, man—like Buckethead-era demos."

Waxman probes P2P services [HollywoodReporter.com]

(D) MTV News, Gideon Yago, "Choose or Lose" presidential correspondent, $200 to Democratic presidential candidate Wesley Clark in January 2004; $500 to America Coming Together, which campaigned against President Bush, in September 2004; $250 to the Democratic National Committee in September 2004; $250 to VoteVets, which is running ads against the president's handling of the war, in March 2006, and $250 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee in October 2006. He said he is no longer at MTV News.

Gideon Yago, raw:

"I don't understand. Things that I do as a private citizen?

"We're not a traditional news network in the sense of NBC or Fox or CBS.

"We're sensitive about equal time or fairness. We're non-biased.

"I mean, what the f—-, man?

"I came back from doing coverage in Iraq and was very moved by what I saw. I was never told by my boss or anyone that we couldn't give to a campaign.

"I'm not a journalist now. Writing fiction.

"I would never qualify what we do as journalism. Ninety percent of what we did was simple identification, after 9/11: Who is Rumsfeld? Who is Colin Powell? Who is Al Qaeda?

"I try to call it as you see it.

"After my second trip to Iraq in 2004, I felt the conventional news media was not doing a good enough job of conveying the horrors and the failures of the war in Iraq.

"At 18 I was a registered Republican. At 24, I was a registered Democrat.

"I tried very hard — our job was not an indoctrination process — I tried to be as professional as possible whenever possible.

"We were a non-traditional news outlet. We were nonpartisan.

""OK, I've been rebuked. Thank you for spanking me in public.

"Do you hand in all your rights as a public citizen when you do this?

"I mean — who's your editor? I'm going to call him right now."

Also on the list was Rolling Stone's Jann Wenner, who gave "$25,000 to the Democratic National Committee in 2006; $20,000 to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee in 2006; $10,000 to the Democratic National Committee in 2004; $5,000 to committees supporting Bob Casey, a Democrat elected to the Senate from Pennsylvania in 2006; $1,250 to Democracy for America, Democrat Howard Dean's PAC, in 2004; $1,008 to America Coming Together, which opposed President Bush, in 2004; and $500 to Democratic Senate candidate Ned Lamont in Connecticut in 2006." No surprises there, except for the fact that he didn't give any money to Mark Knopfler's run for London Postal Master's Assistant.

On a slightly related note, one of your Idolators is disappointed that no one cares about his $200 donation to the John Kerry campaign back in 2004. Then again, that money would have probably been better spent on Mrs. Lucky Penny-A-Go-Go to finish at Belmont.

Journalists dole out cash to politicians (quietly) [MSNBC]

According to a press release, Reno is overseeing Song Of America, a three-disc, fifty-track collection of Bali funk-rap historically minded tunes. According to a statement:

Janet Reno explains, "I thought that music would be a great way to engage listeners, especially young listeners, and spark their interest so they could gain a greater understanding and appreciation for our history. I am very proud to be associated with this collection of inspired performances.

Songs include Take 6's version of "The Star-Spangled Banner," Danielson's "Happy Days Are Here Again" and Devendra Banhart's "Little Boxes." Clearly, Reno wants you to let your freak-flag fly! But not really, as that's against federal flag laws.

Last night's Hannity & Colmes opened with a segment on Rage Against The Machine singer Zack De La Rocha's Coachella proclamation that the current Presidential administration "should be hung, and tried, and shot." That soundbite allowed the show to book a bit that featured Ted Nugent referring to Rage as a bunch of "dopey, hippy rock 'n' roll numb nuts" and the praying mantis-like pundette Ann Coulter, who seemed to be trying out for the long-canceled rock-critic throwdown Four On The Floor:

COULTER: I'm not painting them as liberals. I'll paint them as losers. You know, I missed the VH1 special "I Love the '90s." I missed this whole thing. Who cares about them? Has anybody checked in with Flock of Seagulls to see what their position is on Bush?

COULTER: They're not very attractive.

COLMES: You don't like any of those guys?

COULTER: I'm seeing them right now.

COLMES: Are you looking for a boyfriend?

COULTER: Not in that crew.

COLMES: You would rather talk about a nude but growing cuter polar bear than Rage Against the Machine.

COULTER: And, by the way, they are also very unfamiliar with D.C. gun laws if they think they can shoot the president, because no guns allowed.

COLMES: All right, but do you really believe — just like you say a lot of crazy, outrageous things you don't really believe, you don't believe that they really mean that, do you?

COULTER: I don't know. I don't know anything about them, like most Americans. They broke up like 10 years ago. One guy tried — I e-mailed one of my friends at MTV to find out who they even are. She said they broke up. The solo guy tried a career for seven years, bombed completely, and now, you know, [they're] really all looking forward to the Van Halen reunion.

Wait—so now De La Rocha is replacing Diamond Dave? Guess they wanted to get as far away from Gary Cherone as possible.

Rage Against Bush [foxnews.com]

According to an email pitch we received this afternoon, anyone who contributes $50 or more gets a copy of the CD "Moneyland," which "tells the story of the plight of rural America, through a collection of recordings, both old and new, from legendary country and bluegrass recording artists, including: The Del McCoury Band, Merle Haggard, Welch, Marty Stuart, Emmylou Harris, Bruce Hornsby & the Fairfield Four, Mac Wiseman, Patty Loveless, and more."

What, no Akon? He's on everything this year. The most interesting name in that line-up is Merle Haggard, who's already written a song about Hillary Clinton; clearly, he hasn't made up us mind yet, meaning that we can expect a rainy-night ballad about Joe Biden by mid-June.

Edwards Offers a Country CD [WSJ] [reg. required]

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to watch White House Deputy Chief Of Staff Karl Rove flail around a stage while a badly executed rap song plays in the background, now's your chance: At last night's Radio and Television Correspondents' Association dinner in D.C., Rove was briefly turned into "MC Rove," an awkwardly move-busting hype-man with a honkified flow not heard since Rappin' Ronnie. Wait until the 1:40 mark, and look for Rove's debut album, Die B.O.L.D., out on Koch in May.

Mc Rove [YouTube]

It's less a question of Republicans not knowing how to have fun than it is a matter of history. Democratic activists essentially invented what has become a staple of Hollywood politics, the concert-fundraiser hybrid. Think of it as the political equivalent of a Prius, without the moralizing.

Mall magnate Rick Caruso, who is hosting a cocktail party for [Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney] on Tuesday night, is unfazed by the lack of A-list entertainment at Republican events.

"We're here to raise money," he said, adding that he hopes to bring in more than $2 million for Romney.

He may get the money, but if the last few years of campaigning is any example, Saturday's party for Hilary Clinton is going to be much more fun.

According to the Times article, Clinton is wooing Alicia Keys and James Blunt for tomorrow's gig—and while those names may seem pretty snoozy to us, they're still far more impressive than anybody the Republicans have managed to get on stage. For comparison, here's a quick breakdown of the two parties' most high-profile tub-thumpers from the last few years:

DEMOCRATS
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sheryl Crow
Bruce Springsteen
Melissa Etheridge
Paul Simon
James Taylor
Carole King
Tony Bennett
Lil' Kim (rumored, seriously)

REPUBLICANS
Roger Williams
That girl who lost to Carrie Underwood on American Idol

Not exactly an even-keeled balance of power. But to be fair to the Republicans, it should be noted that Democrats have more pull with musicians because they better understand the hard-living rock n' roll lifestyle: They know how to hide the weed in the carry-on bag, how to spot a freshman-year co-ed's fake ID, and how to best roll up a body in a rug and drop it in the part of the Potomac that's technically within Maryland's jurisdiction.

GOP tone-deaf in music industry fundraising [LA Times]

I want nominations of centre-right singers and centre-right songs. I'll not be too picky. The centre-right singers may be singing non-political songs, and the centre-right songs may come from people with non centre-right politics who happen to have written a sound song by accident. You get the idea?

My first nomination is The Who singing "Won't Get Fooled Again", a fantastic attack on revolutionary politics, which you can watch below if you want. I will be creating a centre-right iTunes playlist of the best suggestions and will burn a CD of this playlist for the person who provides the best item for it, along with the best argument for its inclusion.

Speaking of not getting fooled, the Times editors may want to watch out for mean-spirited liberals who submit songs that are secretly anti-conservative, all in the name of ironic subversion. So here are a few suggested tracks that are 100 percent, certifiably lefty, along with their well-concealed subtexts: Screeching Weasel's "I Wanna Be A Homosexual" (trickle-down economics); Reagan Youth's "Jesus Was A Communist" (activist judges); and Neil Young's "Let's Impeach The President" (creationism). Burn away!

The Ted Nugent medal [Times Online]

For years, political experts and pop-star stalkers have been meeting together in D.C. and Los Angeles, secretly debating a question that many of us have wondered, but never dared ask aloud: "Are Britney Spears and President Bush in cahoots?" And after this weekend's coif-cutting meltdown, we finally have definitive, indisputable proof that the answer is yes.

You see, conspiracy theorists such as ourselves have long believed that the 25-year-old Spears is an off-the-books employee of the Bush administration, one who's kept on retainer with a monthly stipend of Ding-Dongs and Captain Morgan mini-bottles. Her mission is simple: Whenever the president is facing a potentially iffy public-relations fiasco, she must steal his thunder by flailing and sputtering around in public, thereby ensuring that her name always stays atop CNN.com's "Most Popular" story list. Her most recent public outburst—during which the singer ducked out of rehab and shaved her head—was an especially headline-grabbing feat, one that just happened to occur as Bush was announcing the reformation of Al Qaeda. But to those of us who have been paying attention, it was just the latest in a long line of convenientally timed escapades:

November 6, 2006
PRESIDENT BUSH's Republican party faces one of its most hotly contested elections in years, with 33 Senate seats and 435 House seats up for grabs; meanwhile, BRITNEY SPEARS faces one of her most hotly contested separations in years, announcing her split with Kevin Federline.

April 11, 2006
The Washington Post reports that, thanks to the ceaseless casualties of the Iraq war, PRESIDENT BUSH's approval ratings have hit an all-time low of 38 percent; meanwhile, the Associated Press reports that, thanks to ceaseless questions from Malibu child-welfare agents, BRITNEY SPEARS' parenting skills have hit an all-time low.

January 5, 2004
PRESIDENT BUSH attempts to divorce himself from the Valerie Plame scandal, encouraging his staff to talk to investigators; meanwhile, BRITNEY SPEARS attempts to divorce herself from Jason Alexander, discouraging her soon-to-be-ex from talking to the press.

February 15, 2002
PRESIDENT BUSH authorizes a plan to dump 77,000 tons of radioactive waste in a mountain in Nevada, despite local opposition; meanwhile, BRITNEY SPEARS dumps out Crossroads, her first movie.

Coincidence? We think not: Don't forget that this is the same singer who defended Bush in the last Michael Moore movie, and who was rumored to have been caught "mid-canoodle" with Karl Rove during a 2002 Cirque de Soleil show in Rome. Sometimes she runs—and sometimes she hides—but Spears' wild-style behavior is always just a few heartbeats away from the presidency.

It had a one-word title, he said, and was likely to "piss off" at least half of the audience. A few might even walk out, he said. But, an assistant brought out a music stand and Merle started crooning about a woman named "Hillary."

"The country needs to be honest," he sang. "Change needs to be large."

"Let's put a woman in charge."

A few in the crowd, (including our neighbors who complained all throughout Haggard's opening act, Neko Case, because they "didn't buy tickets to see Jewel") scoffed at Merle's tribute while others wondered if he was serious. "How did you take it?" we overheard one cowboy asking another as we left the show.

The Wall Street Journal has a follow-up that notes that Haggard has been playing the tune at several stops, with varying degrees of audience reaction. We understand why people may be iffy on the tune: As far as lyrics go, "let's put a woman in charge" is no "Don't Stop"—heck, it's not even as punchy as "Stand By Your Man." But we're all for any campaign song that doesn't include the standard-issue lyrical themes of "hopes," "dreams," and "Moqtada al-Sadr."

Merle Haggard on Hillary: 'Let's Put a Woman in Charge' [New West]
New Theme Song for Clinton Camp? [WSJ.com]

The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Foo Fighters, Snoop Dogg, John Mayer, Akon, A.F.I., Fall Out Boy, Tim McGraw, and Faith Hill are among the participating artists being announced at a press conference in Los Angeles today. Though not all of the locations have been confirmed, organizer Kevin Wall, who spearheaded the Live 8 concerts in 2005, has a possible plan: "We'll start in Shanghai, and go to Sydney and Rio De Janeiro and Washington D.C. and London and Johannesburg and finish the show in Kyoto at the old Buddhist temple where we would do an acoustic show and ask the world to take a breath.

One quibble: Couldn't they have come up with a better title than "Live Earth"? We realize the most obvious idea was already taken, but this sounds like one of those rain-forest CDs they sell at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

UPDATE: Associated Press adds Melissa Etheridge, Lenny Kravitz, Sheryl Crow, Duran Duran, Korn, Pharrell, the Black Eyed Peas, and Enrique Iglesias.

Breaking News: Al Gore Announces "Live Earth" Mega-Concert [Rollingstone.com]

Outside there was even a genuine Grateful Dead fan trying to get in, holding a hand-painted sign with the classic Deadhead plea: "I need a miracle." The fan, dreadlocked 30-year-old Scott Orellana, said he didn't have $1,000. A Democratic aide eventually sneaked him in the door.

What the story doesn't explain is that Orellana hadn't made the sign himself, but actually found it near the office of newly demoted Republican Whip Roy Blunt.

Cheers As Pelosi Smashes 'Marble Ceiling' [AP vis CBS.com]
[Photo via Flickr]

Please Join The House Democratic Leadership & The House Democratic Caucus For a Celebration Concert Honoring Speaker Nancy Pelosi

With Special Musical Performances by Tony Bennett, Carole King, Wyclef Jean And Your House Band Featuring Mickey Hart, Bill Kreutzmann, Bob Weir, Bruce Hornsby, Warren Haynes, Mike Gordon, and Special Guests

If you want to see the show—Lord knows the idea of watching Wyclef and Bennett singing "Terrapin Station" is hard to resist—it'll cost you a cool $1,000. But we're guessing that if you stand outside with one finger in the air and a sign that says "Will trade viable immigration-reform plan 4 ticket," you might be able to get in.

DCCC Celebration Concert [DCCC.org]

In 1990, the youth-voter advocacy group Rock The Vote launched, one of many allegedly non-partisan coalitions that popped up during the early '90s. The PSAs that flooded youth-culture outposts like MTV every election season were notable because of their feel-good, content-free messages; the action of voting, not the motivations behind said action, was what mattered. It made for a lot of strange, all-noise ads that were slightly more effective than your average McGruff commercial.

In honor of Election Day, we're offering a look at Rock the Vote's weirdest stabs at reaching out to the youth of America.

The next time someone says to you, "Remember when MTV used to play music videos?" you can use this clip as a reminder that they also used to take Donny Osmond seriously as an artist. Even when he was dressed up like the policeman from the Village People.

This clip is too long by half—ah, the old days, when people had three-minute attention spans!—but we're pretty sure that if Madonna had defended her botched adoption using the accent she puts on above, the world would have been a lot more endeared.

Not to be too nitpicky, but are we really supposed to believe that Slaughter drummer Blas Elias' setup would fall silent without the benefit of amplification? Because that is so weak.

Lady Miss Kier wants you to know: The polling places in downtown Manhattan are a lot more fabulous than the sock-stinky elementary school gym you'll be heading to later today.

Listen to these lyrics: "Blacks protested to the polls / Women marched for more than casseroles," sung by the whitest acoustic guitar-wielding man who isn't a member of The Fray. When the revolution comes, we're totally seeking this dude out.

Never let it be said that Diddy isn't afraid to use a dead guy to make a point. We're just surprised that he didn't try and insert a shot of Biggie in between the clips of Martin Luther King, Jr., and Malcolm X.

Apparently, things have gotten so bad for Macy Gray that she can't afford a place without gunshots going off outside. Or a voice coach.