Idolator: worstcover07

The Worst Album Cover Of 2007 Revealed: Budding Art Directors, Take Note

mjohnston — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:00:41 EST

Well, the weeks of polling are over, and we have a winner in our first annual Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Before you click through, feel free to reflect on our final eight, and check out a late-arrival cover that should at least get some sort of honorable mention. OK, the suspense is killing you, right? Right?

Congratulations, Eagle Records art department! Be on the lookout for your Spirograph sometime in the next seven to 10 business days. And for all of you who stuck with us over these weeks of voting and who aren't very surprised by this outcome (but hey, at least you learned who Helalyn Flowers is), here's a, uh, "treat": the cover for Love Grenade's Japanese edition:

So many not-very-subtle differences! Although I guess it was pretty hard to clamp metal to the original model's breasts on a budget of $15.99.

The 2007 Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament

A Reminder: You Only Have A Few Days Left To Vote In The Final Round Of The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament

jharv — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:30:13 EST

The battle royale between Ted Nugent and Satellite Party ends Monday at noon ET. That's a little less than three days from now, and if you've waited months to help decide the "winner" of our tournament, now's the time when every vote counts. Plus don't forget that you can also still decide who takes home third place, Megadeth or Helalyn Flowers. Voting for the bronze medal winner will also close Monday at noon.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: The Final Round
Who Will Place Third In Our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament

Who Will Place Third In Our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament?

jharv — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 15:00:18 EST

So many voters seemed morose over the loss of both Helalyn Flowers (who knew an obscure industrial-goth band would become such a part of all of our lives?) and Dave Mustaine and crew (who have always been a part of all our lives) that we thought we'd give you a belated Christmas present: The chance to choose who will take home the coveted bronze in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Will the choice between the rivetheads and the Rattlehead prove to be one of the hardest? All signs point to yes.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: The Final Round

mjohnston — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:00:10 EST

And now, the poll that has been weeks in the making: Idolator's Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament final. And what a showdown it is! Ted Nugent vs. Perry Farrell. Crappy script fonts vs. crappy script fonts. An ominous-looking shadow vs. blatant abuse of drop shadow. Women-as-meat misogyny vs. some weird concept of a party in space that I don't have the time to lay out in detail right now, but that does have Nuno Bettencourt on its guest list. An oddly placed guitar vs. an oddly placed wife. Which is truly the worst, though? That's up to you to decide. Voting is after the jump; polls will stay open until noon ET on Monday, after which we'll send a Spirograph to the "winning" label's art department.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Brings A (Semifinal) Tear To Our Eyes

jharv — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:00:56 EST

You know, last week I really thought dark horse Helalyn Flowers might actually go all the way in our tournament, but then I woke up this morning and saw who they were up against in the semifinal round. There's no way this Satellite is gonna crash now. Perry F. and crew will go on to tussle with the Nuge in the final round for the real bloodletting. Still, I'm actually a little sniffly over Helalyn's (presumed) loss, but maybe you will prove my pessimism wrong by voting for the scrappy goth duo that no one expected would come so far.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Brings You A Gift-Wrapped Final Four

mjohnston — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 10:00:50 EST

So! Today begins the semifinal round in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament (voting lasts until 11:59 p.m. ET Wednesday, and the finals begin Thursday). Ted Nugent's special-edition Love Grenade cover has been the favorite since way before our bracket was even constructed, but remember: Nugent's opponents, Megadeth, were the ones who knocked out the other Love Grenade cover. And the United Abominations cover does have the advantage of kinda living up to the name of the album it's representing. Vote after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Wants You To Lick The Santa Hat

jharv — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 14:00:46 EST

This is it, the final battle in our Southest Bracket, down to two-headed Helalyn Flowers and twice-hatted Toby Keith. Will Toby put a boot up the electro-goths' asses or will the Italian duo fell another American country star after slaying Brad Paisley in the last round? And remember: this could be your last chance to puzzle over the mystery that is the Helalyn cover!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Race Opens Up And Says "Ugh"

mjohnston — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 10:00:31 EST

It's the final of the Anatomically Incorrect Bracket here in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Really, what more can you say about these two covers, except that I suspect that Ted Nugent would be very impressed by Hell Rell's mouth, and he should probably invite the bullet-toothed rapper over for a home-cooked meal sometime soon? Could you imagine being a fly on the wall there? Anyway, voting's after the jump.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Is Under Attack By The Photoshopped Purple People Eaters

jharv — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:00:11 EST

The final battle in our Bad Photoshop bracket is dominated by a certain color, but which pukey purple powerhouse will go on to be crowned the winner? Personally, my bet's on Perry Farrell payload of pure puce poo-poo, one of the few covers in our tournament that can make the vile violet of Blake Lewis' Audio Daydream look pleasing to the eye.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Weeps For Us All

mjohnston — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 10:00:38 EST

Our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament's quarterfinals begin with the last battle in our We Aren't The World Bracket. In one corner, you have Megadeth's Photoshopped-out-the-wazoo debutante ball for their new-look Vic Rattlehead; in the other, you have PJ Olsson's crying, nose-picking, 9/11-remembering cherub. Given the hilarious comments that both these covers have inspired in the past, this may be our toughest race of all four of our quarterfinal matchups! Vote after the jump.

Avert Your Eyes: It's The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament's Elite 8

mjohnston — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 08:45:11 EST

Above, your quarterfinalists in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. Themes that I am noticing are common: Inappropriate chewing; the color purple; clouds and stars (but no green clovers); more bad fonts than you can shake a copy of The Print Shop at. Also of note: only one of the cover subjects is smiling, although it is Toby Keith, so you know that he's just doing it to be an ass.

Here's how the final three rounds are going to work: Today and tomorrow, we'll have the bracket faceoffs. Christmas Eve will kick off the semifinal round—because what's more suited to the holidays than looking at some aesthetic travesties?—and voting for that round will close at 11:59 p.m. next Wednesday, Dec. 26. Then the finals will begin next Thursday at 10 a.m., with voting closing—and a winner being declared—sometime around noon on New Year's Eve. (Jess and I have a half day and I'm certainly not going to spend my first minutes of 2008 mucking around with our poll software.) Anyone have thoughts on a prize that we can send to the No. 1 offender's art department? Perhaps a Spirograph?

Earlier: The tournament so far

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Is On The Long And Winding Road (To Metal Poisoning)

jharv — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:00:15 EST

And here it is, the final battle in the second round of our tournament. Will the winner be Helalyn Flowers and their unsantiary habits when it comes to sharing tasty metallic treats? Or will it be Brad Paisley, who at least knows enough to keep the chrome on his hideous font out of his mouth? Cast your vote for over-Photoshopped goth or under-designed country after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Brings M.I.A. To Toby Keith's Christmas Dinner

mjohnston — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:00:40 EST

The last day of our second-round battles in the Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament brings us to the Southeast Bracket, where the behatted Toby Keith faces off against Technicolor revolutionary M.I.A. Man, this is one battle that I wish would be fought via in-person debate, and not proprietary poll software. Could you imagine? There would be things flying around the room 10 seconds in! Anyway, voting's after the jump.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Takes A Bite Out Of Bow Wow And Omarion

jharv — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:00:29 EST

Much like Spank Rock and Benny Blanco's greasy hindquarters, many of you think that Hell Rell's For The Hell Of It happens to be one of the best album covers of 2007. (I happen to agree with you on this one.) Surely this means that the two faces of R&B/hip-hop evil will win this round in a walk? Or will the bullet-mouthed Diplomat have enough ammo to take out Bow Wow and Omarion?

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Practices The Male Gaze

mjohnston — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:00:26 EST

The two pictures above will probably clue you in as to what bracket in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament is being featured today. And the covers themselves are pretty much self-explanatory, although I suspect that the Nuge is going to beat the Bangers & Cash cover by a mile thanks to its slam-you-over-the-noggin humorlessness and the fact that so many of our commenters think that the B&C cover should be voted "so best." But what I want to know is this: Does posting this double-whammy give me license to put up a bunch of videos by Bratmobile and Tiger Trap later this afternoon? It's either that or a lye shower as far as washing the "ugh" off me goes.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Race Turns Its Back On Blake Lewis

jharv — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 14:00:51 EST

Today's second entry in the Bad Photoshop bracket pits Coheed And Cambria's No World For Tomorrow against Blake Lewis' Audio Daydream, two covers that have led to more great jokes from the comments section than perhaps any others in our tournament so far! Seriously, Trapper Keeper gags, flashbacks to the days of school photos, a K-Pax shout-out, Frank Frazetta and Double Dragon and Matt Foley references... these two monstrostities have really inspired y'all. But alas, only one may advance to the next round.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Advises You To Put On Some Sunglasses

mjohnston — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:00:51 EST

We turn now to the "Bad Photoshop" bracket of the Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, which should probably be temporarily named the "My Eyes" bracket in honor of the aesthetic travesties facing off in this installment of the contest. Yiiii! In one corner, we have Satellite Party's Ultra Payloaded, which shows that Perry Farrell's facility for titling albums is almost as bad as his ability to not abuse the drop shadow. And in the other, we have Britney Spears, who continues her quest to be the queen of Google News with the blink-and-you'll-be-blinded cover of Blackout. Which deserves to make it on to the next round? Vote after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament 2007

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, Round II: Can The Giant Baby Defeat The Whole World?

jharv — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 14:00:47 EST

PJ Olsson's gargantuan winged infant narrowly beat Texas hip-hopper Chingo Bling (by just eight votes!) in the first round of our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, but can the (big) little fella go on to crush ex-Kisser Peter Criss, who's marshaled the forces of the entire planet behind him? Decide whether it's Olsson's angels or Criss' united nations after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, Round II: A Whole New Collection Of Abominations

mjohnston — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:00:15 EST

Round two of our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament opens with two formidable contenders: Ted Nugent's regular Love Grenade cover and Megadeth's cover for United Abominations, which, according to one of our commenters, doubles as the debutante ball for the new-look Vic Rattlehead. Who apparently was formed from a lot of anti-UN anger and even more lens flare. Voting is after the jump, although why do I have the feeling that, were the Nuge and Dave Mustaine to get wind of this little battle, they'd elect to solve it with guns, and not ballots? (And why do I have a feeling that we might be seeing an upset in this little battle once the smoke clears?)

As promised, here's the updated bracket for ...

mjohnston — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 11:45:35 EST

As promised, here's the updated bracket for our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, so all of you prognosticating types can figure out who's going to make it to the next round. Which starts tomorrow. Also, here is where I say that I think Jordin Sparks was robbed, even if it was beaten by a better-seeded opponent. [PDF]

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: The Results Are In, And They're (Unsurprisingly) Not Pretty

mjohnston — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 10:00:50 EST

Yes, Ted Nugent's Love Grenade (Special Edition) advanced to the second round of our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament. But! Thanks to an ill-placed Santa hat, not all of the No. 1 seeds did. (And no, we won't have a Nuge vs. Nuge final showdown, as both editions of Love Grenade's cover are on the same side of the bracket. C'mon, like you thought I was going to let that happen?) Full first-round results—including the final outcome of that surprisingly nailbiting Chingo Bling/PJ Olsson showdown—after the jump; we should have the updated bracket available before second-round voting begins tomorrow.

Bad Photoshop Bracket:
1 vs. 8: Satellite Party, Ultra Payloaded (1)
4 vs. 5: Britney Spears, Blackout (4)
2 vs. 7: Blake Lewis, Audio Day Dream (7)
3 vs. 6: Coheed & Cambria, Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Volume 2: No Word For Tomorrow (3)

We Aren't The World Bracket:
1 vs. 8: Ted Nugent, Love Grenade (1)
4 vs. 5: Megadeth, United Abominations (4)
2 vs. 7: PJ Olsson, American Scream (7)
3 vs. 6: Peter Criss, One For All (6)

Anatomical Incorrectness Bracket:
1 vs. 8: Ted Nugent, Love Grenade (Special edition) (1)
4 vs. 5: Spank Rock and Benny Blanco Are... Bangers & Cash (4)
2 vs. 7: Hell Rell, For The Hell Of It (2)
3 vs. 6: Omarion/Bow Wow, Face/Off (6)

Southeast Bracket:
1 vs. 8: Toby Keith, A Classic Christmas (8)
4 vs. 5: M.I.A., Kala (4)
2 vs. 7: Brad Paisley, 5th Gear (7)
3 vs. 6: Helalyn Flowers, A Voluntary Coincidence (6)

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament

Now that we've revealed all of the first-round ...

mjohnston — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:59:03 EST

Now that we've revealed all of the first-round seeds in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, we present to you the full bracket, complete with miniature renditions of each album's art. We'll announce the "winners" of the first round tomorrow, so you can plot your picks for round two accordingly. [PDF]

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Bites The Bucket

jharv — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:00:46 EST

In today's second battle in the Southeast Bracket of our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament—the last battle of the tournament's first round!—we pit the minimalist scrawls of be-helmeted prog-metal guitar freakazoid Buckethead against the Lady And The Tramp-meets-industrial Photoshoppery of Italian electro-goth duo Helalyn Flowers. Personally, I'm voting for the latter, if only because a month later I still can't figure out what's with the metal contraption they're sucking on, but decide for yourselves (and offer your own explanations!) after the jump.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Reminds You To Not Play In Traffic

mjohnston — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:00:43 EST

Today's the last day of first-round voting in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, and we turn our attentions back to the Southeast Bracket, where Brad Paisley's "just hangin' on the highway" photo that serves as the cover for 5th Gear is matched up against Animal Collective's stomach-turning jacket for Strawberry Jam—which, come to think of it, kind of looks like a depiction of Brad after his long stroll down the highway results in him being flattened by a charging semi. But which one is more aesthetically offensive? That's up to you.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Faces The Music Plumage

jharv — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:00:14 EST

For the second entry in today's Anatomically Incorrect bracket, we have pop emo godfathers Jimmy Eat World and their ~~bald~~ feathered metaphor for the place where babies come from (or out of) facing off (omg lol) against Bow Wow and Omarion's collaborative efforts at facial reconstruction. Decide whether it's two-in-the-face or one in the "bush" after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Reminds You To Brush Your Teeth And Wash Your Face

mjohnston — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 10:00:21 EST

There are two days of first-round voting to go in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament—the field so far is here—and today we turn our attentions back to the Anatomically Incorrect Bracket, where we find two entries that show the downside of not keeping up with your hygienic routines. Will Hell Rell's mouth of lead chomp its way through whatever bacteria is making its way across Michael Stipe's bald pate? It's up to you to decide!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Takes A Long View

mjohnston — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 14:00:01 EST

The final two entrants in our We Aren't The World Bracket come from two musical stalwarts who, as far as I know, have never collaborated before: electro legends Erasure and ex-Kiss skinsman Peter Criss. No matter who wins, here's hoping that this pairing will inspire them to release "A Little Respect '08" sometime soon!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Takes A Flying Leap

mjohnston — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 10:00:51 EST

Returning to our "We Aren't The World" bracket in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament (and if you haven't voted in any of our previous installments, there's still time), today we look at two covers in which the subjects are floating in space. In one corner, you have Chingo Bling's pictorial ode to evading the border patrol, while in the other you have PJ Olsson's depiction of angels floating around New York City in anticpation of picking their noses with the Empire State Building's iconic spire. Which one is going to jump into the next round? That's up to you.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Proves Ugly Art Is A Universal Language

jharv — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 14:00:37 EST

Because wherever they were recorded, the next two covers in our anything-goes Southeast Bracket speak the same bad design dialect. In the one corner, we have global gal Maya Arulpragasam's blinding, bitmapped Kala, which manages the feat of wrapping a great album in dot matrix puke. And in the other is American Idol-ette Jordin Sparks' self-titled debut, which manages the feat of making a pretty girl being groomed for stardom look like a snortin' mad bull ready to charge. Decide whether this round belongs to the world townie or the girl next door after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Celebrates Christmas With Indiana Jones

mjohnston — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 10:00:08 EST

Our final bracket in the Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament is the Southeast Bracket, where we collect all of the covers that were so bad, they couldn't really fit in anywhere else. The two covers above pretty much encapsulate the two extremes of bad art that crossed our transom this year—on one side, you have Toby Keith's oh-so-lazy Santa makeover, while on the other, you have Status Quo's attempt to get in on the Indiana Jones bandwagon way before The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull hit theaters. Which one is the worst, though? That's up to you to decide.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Proves Our Heart Asses Will Go On

jharv — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 14:00:33 EST

Today's second entry in our Anatomically Incorrect bracket pits Celine Dion's twisty torso/lion's-mane/shark-eyes combo against Spank Rock and Benny Blanco's love of a greased-up rump. (If nothing else, the cover of Bangers And Cash more than makes up for Celine's definite lack of ass.) Decide between skeletally creepy or slimily bootylicious after the jump!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Offers A Hand To A Lady In Distress

mjohnston — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 10:00:58 EST

With a new day comes a new bracket in our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, and—in case you hadn't figured it out by the dueling covers above—today we look at entrants in the Anatomically Incorrect bracket. On the one side, you have Ted Nugent, who... well, really, does this cover need any more comment? On the other, you have the Killers, and their unfortunately Creed-like attempt at showing that trees have limbs, too, mannnn. Vote after the jump!

In case you want to follow along with our ...

mjohnston — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:22:24 EST

In case you want to follow along with our Worst Album Covers Of The Year race in handy bracket form, Brian Blankenship is keeping a running tally of the matchups. It's a downloadable PDF that'll be updated every day. Thanks, Brian! You should have seen the mess my attempts at coding up an HTML version were making all over the place. [PDF]

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: Britney Takes On The Bugs

jharv — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:00:50 EST

Our second entry in the "Bad Photoshop" bracket of our Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament pits dance pop against prog rock, Auto-Tuned studio magic against Berklee-trained musicianship, and most importantly, a dazed divorcee in a fedora against the might of the insect kingdom. In the one corner, the disorienting orangey-yellow and fuzzy-pink of Britney's Blackout, a cover created by scientists for the purposes of secret epilepsy studies. In the other corner, there's the equally orangey-yellow and "mysterious" skyline of the "special edition" sleeve to Dream Theater's Systematic Chaos. You know, you would have thought a post-apocalyptic world where the evil ants have taken control of the traffic lights would seem a little scarier than Brit's hypnotic, insectoid stare.

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: Welcome To A Very Expensive, Very Purple Bash

mjohnston — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 10:00:17 EST

It's a new day, so let's put politics aside and move on to the "Bad Photoshop" bracket in Idolator's inaugural Worst Album Cover Of The Year tournament. In one corner, we have the No. 8 seed, Jennifer Lopez's $60,000 ode to the power of sparkles. And in opposition, we have Perry Farrell's Satellite Party, which shows that Mr. Farrell's computer-art skillz are almost as good as his taste in guests. Whichever one wins, we know one thing: Staring at the above one-two punch means that our field of vision is going to be tinted purple for at least the next six hours or so!

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament: Bad Art Sells, But Who's Buying?

mjohnston — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:00:20 EST

Today's second Worst Album Cover Of The Year matchup matches one man who is on a one-person anti-UN crusade with another who wants to singlehandedly take down the Pirate Bay. After the jump, the No. 4 seed and No. 5 seed in our We Aren't The World bracket face off:

The Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament Opens With A Pair Of Stinkbombs

mjohnston — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:00:38 EST

After a year of sifting through nominees, Idolator is proud to announce its Worst Album Cover Of The Year Tournament, which looks back on the worst crimes against aesthetics, Photoshop filters, and peoples' fields of vision committed over the past 12ish months. We narrowed all the covers down to 32, and this week and next will be the tournament's opening round, with two cover-vs.-cover polls a day from now until Dec. 12.

The 32 covers have been divided into four brackets: the We Aren't The World bracket (hat tip to Gerard Cosloy for inspiring the name); the Photoshop Crimes bracket; the Anatomically Incorrect bracket; and the Southeast bracket (that one's for all of the lousy covers that didn't fit anywhere else). We open with the No. 1 seed and the No. 8 seed in the We Aren't The World bracket, which could be seen as something of a pair):

(Click the thumbnails for larger-resolution versions of the covers, if you dare.)