Idolator

Every Tuesday night, starry-eyed young girls and pantless old men settle down for another episode of the CW's latest reality show, Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. Our guide to yesterday's installment after the click-through.

Highlights from Episode 4: "Dancin' With The Dolls"

- Anastacia gets kinda huffy when Chelsea makes fun of her eating habits—just one of the many small-scale tiffs that the producers try to exaggerate into something big. Next week: Asia totally borrows one of Melissa R.'s day-glo shoelaces! Oh shnap!

- The Pussycat Dolls appear via tape, reminding the contestants that the group's slogan is "Sassy, but classy." Which is much better than "Skankful, but thankful."

- The girls are told they'll be performing with the Pussycat Dolls "on national TV," even though it's for CD USA, which is really neither national nor TV.

- Out of the five girls, only four of them will be allowed to dance with the Dolls. But after yet another rump-rattling rehearsal montage, both Anastacia and Chelsea are cut. It's like, a plot twist? Kind of like in that movie, Mentos?

- Melissa R. reveals that she wears boob pads, and fourteen-year-old chronic masturbators everywhere hang their heads in silence. For about three seconds.

- Awkward Product Placement No. 1: During one of those commercial-breaks-that-aren't-really-commercial-breaks, Mark McGrath shills for Caress' Exotic Oil Infusion body wash. Why does this guy put up with this crap? Is he really being hurt that badly by illegal downloads of 14:59?

- Awkward Product Placement No. 2: After performing on CD USA, the girls are given free watches. Thankfully, they find time to name-check the brand name and talk about how awesome they are.

- For the next elimination round, the five contestants must perform a medley of songs from the burlesque era. This gives Robin Antin about thirteen opportunities to remind us that she founded the Pussycat Dolls. Her motto? "Thuggy, but pluggy."

- During the performance, Melissa S. drops her mic in a bath-tub, Asia does that gesticulative melisma thing with her hands and Lil' Kim loves everyone to pieces. But someone's gotta go, and so fourteen-foot-tall Anastacia is asked to hang up her gigantic pink feather boa and head home.

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