Idolator

It's been a lackluster year for rock feuds: The Kid Rock-Scott Stapp sex-tape battle has pretty much petered out, and even Liam Gallagher's been keeping his mouth shut (though his last blow-up is still the stuff of legend). Since everyone seems to be playing nice these days, Idolator has to step in and do the shit-stirring ourselves; luckily, we found this sorta-diss in today's Guardian piece on Lou Reed:

Nervously, I pick the most topical question I can, and hit him with it.

"Mr Reed, what did you think of Coldplay covering your song Perfect Day at the Isle of Wight Festival?"

If it were humanly possible, Reed's expression darkens even further.

"They did whaaaaaaat?"

I tell him Chris Martin told the media that because Reed hadn't played it during his set, Coldplay did it in theirs.

"You're kidding."

Reed looks so infuriated that I'm still not sure whether his next question "Have you heard that?" is directed at me or members of his entourage.

Them's fightin' words! Vaguely disinterested, easily forgettable fightin' words, but we'll take 'em. Our odds on the Martin-Reed title bout after the jump.

AGE
LOU REED 64
CHRIS MARTIN 29

KNOWN ENEMIES
LOU REED Lester Bangs, John Cale
CHRIS MARTIN Poverty

PREVIOUS ALTERCATIONS
LOU REED Bitten by a fan during a concert in Buffalo
CHRIS MARTIN Arrested for attacking an Australian paparazzo

MOST DANGEROUS WEAPON
LOU REED Metal Machine Music
CHRIS MARTIN X&Y

BIGGEST BLOW TO STREET CRED
LOU REED Being sampled by Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch
CHRIS MARTIN Being named "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" by PETA

THE WINNER: LOU REED Sure, he's 35 years older. But we wouldn't mess with anyone who's survived a trip to Buffalo.