Idolator

He's gonna flip out when he hears Bob Simon's ska band.

And why is it that bands need so many words in their name these days? Long band names make me sleepy. I'm sure I'd remember your name if it only had one word, if it was memorable enough. Something like, "Senescence." That's got a ring to it. Heck, I'd even let you have a definite article, if the fancy struck me (I'm not always such a grump, you know). Maybe "The Invalids?"

Don't tell me to clap my hands, please. I just don't have time for that in my life. And it seems presumptuous, to me anyway. I'm happy for Boris Yeltsin that somebody still loves him, but I really don't need you to tell me in your name. And if you really do have hooks for hands, for goodness sakes go see a doctor.

And what's the deal with the exclamation points? Are these supposed to make me more excited? First of all, I would never say "Party!" but if I did, why would you say "Die!" Am I supposed to be scared too? Scared and excited? Because I'm not. I'm just thirsty. Thirsty, a little bit dizzy, and really, really tired of being alive.

@Bob Loblaw: Cheers. Post of the week.

@Bob Loblaw: Agreed with Ned. For further Andy Rooney goodness:

[www.youtube.com]

Skip to 1:30.

Good old Tex Schieffer. I always knew he was eccentric, but judging from the Honky Tonk Confidential website he just might be Texas-style crazy enough to hang out with my dad. No wonder Andy Rooney was cowering.

@Bob Loblaw:

So what do you make of "!!!" ? Short and memorable, but yet oh so teeth-clenching.

And I hope for dear life I never find out what Andy Rooney's idea of fun is. It probably just involves bourbon and a nap, but you never know.

"Why do they call it taking a dump? You're not actually taking something... You're leaving something. Funk dat!"

And what's the deal with the exclamation points? Are these supposed to make me more excited?

Wow, your radio station has an on air library. Is that so special or unique that we must punctuate every word?