Idolator

yet another reason to blow okalahomo off the map

Dude, Oklahoma's about to get blowed off the map by this AWESOME METAL POWER anyway!

For pure entertainment and unpredictability factor, this sounds a whole hell of a lot better than Pitchfork's "Handjobs For Our Favorites" festival.

July in Oklahoma? Jeez. I always wanted to die of heatstroke surrounded by chubby biker chicks who reek of Aqua Net.

No need to resort to violence, Bambino. When Poison plays "Every Rose Has Its Thorn", the mass Bic-flicking will ignite the lingering cloud of Aqua-Net, and the whole place will go up in a blaze. I'm putting my money on this one to win the 2007 Darwin Award. Any takers?

DAMN! My Aqua-Net joke was beaten to the punch by one minute.

Clearly the best festival of the year (that isn't this one).

There will be no backstage groupies at the fest - just Chuck Klosterman.

@JasonBob7: I'm sorry, man. I am avoiding work and stalking Idolator today.

Who are Y&T? Why am I completely blanking on that?

I remember owning Y&T albums, but now I couldn't even tell you a single song on either of them or even what they sounded or looked like.

y & t really stood for 'not so good.' youtube evidence here. (check out those shorts!!)

speaking of hard rock bands named after collections of letters, why is xyz not on this bill? and why did i think they were french?

Oh good lord, that was 1:49 (all I could stomach) of my life I'll never get back. The xyz site says the lead singer was French.

What a sausage fest. Where's Lita Ford on the lineup?

Lita Ford retired. She married the dude who made all those Guitar lesson videos back in the day.

Even as a fan of Metal that is pretty rank.

The reason it says Faster Pussycat (featuring Brent Muscat) is because Taime Downe is no longer in the band! Then again when I played with them on the Metal Sludge tour at Don Hill's they were doing this fucked up pseudo-industrial Marilyn Manson thing. Yes, they re-arranged Bathroom Wall to be fake Goth!

Its only Rock and Roll, but if this stuff was important that would be an instant death sentence!

The Faster Pussycat "remix album" is one of the worst musical travesties of all time. How do you make "Where There's A Whip There's A Way" into an unlistenable dirge? I mean come on.

No one here remembers the Y&T classic 'Mean Streak'? What did YOU listen to while you drank Mickey's malt liquors at lunch?

BULLETBOYS!?! TESLA!?!

I'm there, bitches!

.....As an admitted "hair-metal" fanatic, still, I have to say that most of those were joke bands. I loved Ratt's double guitar-harmonies early (hated Steven Pearcy), thought George Lynch (Dokken) was THE histrionic-guitar GOD, and I am STILL convinced that Vince Neil's circa 1993 band (containing the Bissonette Bros AND Steve Stevens) was pretty damned amazing.

.....This fest in the heat is going to be pretty tired and hot, I'll bet. Y&T? Who the hell was this?

Warren DiMartini and George Lynch were pretty much interchangable guitarists. Not to diminish how great they were -- I loved them both -- but they played almost exactly the same! The only difference was that Ratt was sleazy and Dokken was cheesy.

@AcidReign: Now I want to know which bands you liked! Lineup skirmishes aside, L.A. Guns are pretty great, and there are a couple of other bands on the bill who I'd still see--depending on who was touring with them now, of course.

No Steelheart? No Trixter? Oh well. I'm still highly entertained.

@ Acid Reign: Right on, brotha! The Vince Neil "exposed" album was a true gem. Steve Stevens shreds it up to the max. I've seen Vince Neil solo tours and unfortunately they usually only play one song from that era, and the rest is Crue material. Hopefully Keri Kelli will be in the band this time around!

@ everyone else: PS, I love how this is the most commented on post...

@IvyLeagueMetalhead: If you've got Slaughter, you don't need Steelheart.

man, if i was a fan of giant sloppy boobs, i would be there with bells on! imagine how many tube-sock-with-an-orange-in-it breasts will be exposed and swaying in the breeze!

.....L.A. Guns wasn't really my thing. They were kind of the losers in the big Los Angeles "let's go back to the 1970s and rock out!" war. Winners were Slash and Axel. Or at least they ended up with the cash... I actually met a few of the Guns at an Anne Rice Halloween party in the Garden District in New Orleans 15 years ago or so. While I only bought one of their CDs, I thought they were pretty cool. It's not so much a knock on their ability, but that I like a little more of the minor-key, gothic-Euro metal stuff like Scorpions, Rhoades-era Ozzy, and Dio; as opposed to the more Americanized 3-chord (or even less) rock.

.....I remember being in the crush up front at the general-admission Aerosmith/GNR show in 1987, and being greatly amused that the back-up band (this was pre- "Appetite.") was doing the Aerosmith genre better than Aerosmith was. Slash was absolutely smokin' that night! Later, when Aerosmith came out, all we could hear was a little bit of Steven Tyler, and ton-o-drums.

.....I remember a Bullit Boys video [not the name, unfortunately], where they had a monster gated snare that sounded like it was recorded in the Grand Canyon, an absolutely killer guitar tone, and the most banal, "metalheads are retarded"-sounding song I've ever heard.

.....Poison: suspect guitar-leads, and too much trying to be cuter than the 1980s girls. Guess what, guys? You'll never be as hot as the Bangles! My biggest gripe was that most 80s metal singers were a like a cartoon-caricature of Steven Tyler/Robert Plant. Put Poison's silly vocals right in there...

.....Motley Crue managed to keep me buying their stuff album after album despite being pretty cheezy, and their guitar player being below-average at playing leads. But, when he wasn't soloing, Mick Mars had a fantastic grinding, precision engine that wouldn't quit! His rhythm playing was sonic nirvana!

.....Quiet Riot was an awesome band early, and just absolutely went down the toilet with each subsequent album. Formula: take more and more "blaze" out of the guitar, and add more and more Phil-Collinszey synths with each subsequent release. Oh, yeah. All singles have to be Slade covers. Add in an Axel-worthy head-case singer, and you've a train going off the rails. This band once had Randy Rhoades in it, damnit!

.....Slaughter and Warrant? Too slick. Too produced. You just can't drown the main guitar parts in chorus and reverb, and still be metal! It has to bite! Tesla was interesting, with some actual melodies. But by the time they were on the scene, the histrionic bar had been set so ridiculously high by the likes of Malmsteen,the Lynches (George AND Steve) and Bettencourt (Extreme) that they never had a chance. I liked Dokken, even with the sometimes-sub-par songwriting. Their singer was not trying to screech like everyone else.

.....Best metal singer of the 1980s? I have to give it to David Coverdale of Whitesnake. He sounded like a man among squeaky boys. Too bad the Sykes/Coverdale team imploded. That white album was great stuff, marred only by a too-produced guitar sound.

The fake LA Guns (minus Tracii) is actually a lot better now without him. They got a guy with a completely absurd name, Staci Blades (get it, chick's name, then the name of a weapon), but the last record they put out was genuinely awesome. It is called Tales from the Strip.

If you were ever thinking, "wow I want a sentimental melancholy sleaze rock record about being old and still living in LA trying to be a rock star" this is the album!

I agree with all on Exposed, however have you heard Carved in Stone, the Vince Neil/Dust Brothers collaboration? There are some great songs on there. The Crawl and Black Promises kick so much ass.

@lucasg: We can only hope the show date will be "alternate visitation weekend" for the owners of aforementioned white-trash ta-tas.

Rocklahoma? Sounds incredible red neck.I had to whip out my old Rip and Metal Edge magazines to remember some of these:

BANG TANGO- not a big fan. Lead singer tried really hard to be Steven Tyler.
BULLET BOYS-"Smooth up in ya" was overplayed on Headbander's Ball. One album wonder really. A true David Lee Roth wanna be.
DOKKEN- If he shows up it will be a wonder. I went to a LA concert with most of these bands expected to show but Don was having a heavy flow and sitting on a hot water bottle so everyone got pissed and flaked. All was blamed on management and how much each band was supposed to be paid. Yeah, right.
FASTER PUSSYCAT (feat. Brent Muscat)-Techno sh*t from Taime Down. Godawful. First album was great.
FIREHOUSE- Bubble gum poppy rock that although somewhat listenable was'nt anything new.
L.A. GUNS (feat. Tracii Guns)- No Phil Lewis, No LA Guns. Tracii Guns is great guitarist but stop using the name if it is'nt the actual band.
POISON- Seen them a bunch of times. Sloppy in concert and hopefull CC did'nt find any coke.I heard they got into a fight last time they were together.
QUIET RIOT-Metal Health. Say no more. Maybe they won't leave the lead singer at a truckstop because he's so obnoxous.
RATT-Steven Pearcy must have been given alot of money to do this.This could be messy. Warren and Juan don't get along and Bobby Blotser can't stand Steven. Great albums. sucky in concert.
SLAUGHTER-Dana Strum is an arrogant buttwad.
TESLA-Sacramento boys. Great show here at the State Fair. See ya in July.
VINCE NEIL-Facelifted and ready to play more Desmond Child ballads?
WARRANT_Dirty rotten filthy stinking bloated drunk puking falling off the stage or barfing on the bar. Might be fun.
Y&T-Who and where have we been? Summertime Girls? Black Tiger? Google those and get back to me.