Idolator
Gene Simmons' website is hilarious. He apparently prints all of his fans' letters, and you can almost hear the scowling as he dispenses the most minimal-effort response. Check out these insightful exchanges:
I recently started college, i've been thinking about what to major in went for journalism but discovered it wasn't for me, also i been doing some searching and found out that i can get a small business academy certificate in entrepreneurship in less than 2 years. From your point of view, would this be a better option than going for a degree? Thank you for your time Gene!Response from Gene:
Figure it out. We all have to.
Or:
Do you believe in trolls and wizards and fairy kings?Response from Gene:
Only if they believe in me. That's much more important.
He has—no kidding—805 pages of this stuff. Pure gold.
Fan Stories [GeneSimmons.com]
Comments
Wait. Wait. Wait. Did that kid really just ask that guy with all the make-up, leather, and blood-shot eyes for education advice?
I like to picture Gene in full costume and makeup sitting with his laptop like Carrie Bradshaw, except typing with one finger. And if you're actually going to take the time to consult Gene Simmons for advice, you deserve a curt response.
Dear Gene: How have you avoided every STD on the planet while sleeping with 4600 women, surely you must have the clap by now?
Come now, Purdue, he keeps his manhood sheathed in his codpiece the whole time to avoid problems. A practical man.
"Gene, my mother-in-law has a birthday coming up. She loves to cook but I dont know what to get her! Can you recommend a gift?"
Response from Gene:
Listen to me. Go to the newest piece of Kisstory - KissKitchen.com!! - and take a look at the "Ace Frehley" gravy boat. It's perfect for her.
Comment on this post
Login with your username and password below.
Forgot your username or password? New User?