Idolator

Friday's episode of The Next Great American Band was the first episode where bands were eliminated, and during the whole thing I kept thanking my stars for the two-bands-getting-kicked-off-at-once format. Especially since one of the bands was, shall we say, less than grateful when it was announced that they were going home. Take it away, the Hatch, and your dismissal of the show's low ratings and bad demographics!

WHO'S OUT: So the way the show was structured was as such: Each band that made it through was called up, one by one, to perform their two songs of the week—an original and an Elton John cover, about which more in a minute. The last three bands standing were Denver & the Mile High Orchestra, the Hatch, and the Likes of You, and even without the benefit of spoilers it was blindingly obvious who was going home. So Denver got called, which led to each of the eliminated bands saying their goodbyes, and one of the guys in the Hatch said:

"I would like to say that America's spoken, but I can't really say that that's really true. I think about three hundred people in Nebraska have spoken."

Oh no he didn't! Anyway, the guy probably had a point—the show's ratings sank even further on Friday, falling even further behind the CW's all-wrestling offerings—and his act of martyrdom prompted fans of the band to posit that the Hatch could follow Daughtry in the pantheon of "successful people who lost on TV." Which probably won't be the case—namely because people actually watched Idol—but any port in a storm, right?

The Hatch's tantrum also served to overshadow the performances on the show, although to be fair, only about half of them were really any good, and none of them found the bands leaving their comfort zone at all.

THE FRONT-RUNNERS: The "housewives' favorite" Sixwire, as Dicko has termed them, performed an original track that would sound just fine mixed into CMT and a version of "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" that was a bit bloodless. (Although I'm forever biased toward the George Michael take.) The judges loved them, though, perhaps because they're absolutely marketable on every level. Meanwhile, Franklin Bridge did "Philadelphia Freedom," in keeping with their constant Phlogging; meanie judge Dicko's comment that the band was "overarranging" all of its songs, though, was completely spot-on. It's also tough to make an outfit with so much sheer musicianship going on sound good on TV—things can descend into a soup pretty quickly, and that's what happened here. I'm thinking that, even though the judges love them, they'll be out of the show by the time the finals come around.

THE IDOLATOR FAVORITES: I know that Tres Bien's That Thing You Do! schtick is a little tired, but the two songs this group of goofs performed on Friday—including a punchy take on Elton John's "Love Lies Bleeding"—were both tracks that I would download immediately, were the band's MySpace page still offering MP3s. (Booo.) Meanwhile, the Clark Brothers did another rip-roaring original, then switched things up a bit with a slow, pretty version of Elton's "Country Comfort" that nearly shimmered.

THE GIRLS: There's no chance that Rocket is going home soon, because there are probably many poor saddoes out there who are home on Friday nights and voting for the LA band based on "hotness." And I might have a little more sympathy for them if they had a song in their repertoire that didn't sound like the Joan Jett version of the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme. And if their frontwoman could actually, you know, use her lungs when she sings, instead of just wheezing out through her nose. But she got defensive when Sheila E. called her voice "horrific" (!), so the likelihood of that is slim.

THE GONERS: Dot Dot Dot—whose first song sounded like a very poor ripoff of "Valerie" by Steve Winwood—may be the worst band in the history of music ever and should be relegated to background status in teen-movie party scenes immediately. And the Muggs, after showing so much Nuggets-y promise in the first week, will probably go down as well, especially since the fans of their bar-band-by-the-numbers rock are actually out at bars (in Nebraska!) while the voting's going on. (The Light Of Doom's version of "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" was absolutely terrible, but they're backed by Vote For The Worst; given this show's anemic numbers, that support is probably going to be enough to propel the all-kiddie metal outfit to at least the top two.)

Next week: Perhaps realizing that the Hatch guy had a point and that their show needs to get some viewers on the coasts fast, the producers have handed the bands the songbook of one William Joel, thus ensuring that the show may at least garner the eyeballs of a handful of New York-area drama club members who aren't allowed to go out on Friday nights.

The Next Great American Band [Official site]
Earlier: Idolator's American Bandom archives]
[Photo via Reality TV Magazine]