LiberatedWriter | January 6, 2009
Ok...
This is totally HOT like Fleetwood Mac on wax...
HOT+++NESS.

halo40 | January 6, 2009
Sounds dope, and i like their work!!!!!!

leFtofOrdiNarY | January 6, 2009
that's a Funky little gem ... I like it, thanks for sharing KW.
ps. Congrats on 808's platinum status.

How's the song? Kicking off with an almost-shrill kids' choir, it reminds me of the type of thing Damon Albarn's been up to since the dissolution of Blur, what with the handclaps and faux-timbale drums*, though it does share rhythmic and arrangement similarities with Spoon, which means it could be called arty minimalism or songwriting laziness, depending on your politics. I enjoyed it, but the verses seem rather unnecessary. The vocals are a little up front for lyrics that banal! The real meat of the song is in the chorus, where the kid's choir comes back in and doesn't become the annoyance it promised to be at the beginning. It might not be as "crazy" as promised, but it's solid. Like much of modern hip-hop, it's a hook flown throughout a song on top of propellant rhythms, less concerned with "song smarts" than with inertia, which works for me. Like I said, I enjoyed it, but, more importantly, I'm enjoying the curveballs the Swedish popsters keep throwing with (at?) their career.

WORLD PREMIERE ... THEY SENT THE SONG TO ME FIRST! PETER BJORN & JOHN... SHIT IS DOPE!! DRUMS ARE CRAZY AND I LIKE THE KIDS ON THE HOOK. THERE NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "LIVING THING" ..... WITH ALL THAT SAID I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG... LOL!!!... I'M GONNA ASSUME IT'S CALLED, "NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT" [KanyeUniversecity]

* Not to pick on the very handsome and nice Mark Richardson of Pitchfork here, but can I call a moratorium on these kinds of drums being called "tribal"? Besides the problematic anthropological connotations of the world "tribal," it seems like reviewers are quick to point out any sort of syncopation as immediately "tribal." Whether critics mean it or not, and I believe Mark is talking more about intensity and feel here than anything else, it often devolves into code for "non-4/4," "syncopated," or, worse, "non-white" or "ethnic"-sounding, forgetting that most of the music/drumming called "tribal" is made by distinctly non-tribal people.

80. Andrew W.K., "McLaughlin Groove"
79. Elvis Costello puts his trust in Fall Out Boy
78. Wye Oak, "I Want for Nothing"
77. Nine Inch Nails' flood of digitally distributed music
76. TV on the Radio, "Golden Age"
75. Journey welcomes the Web 2.0 Era (and a new singer) with open arms
74. Jenny Lewis, "Acid Tongue"
73. Radiohead scores the year's strangest Top 40 hit
72. The Music Tapes at Athens Popfest, August 2008
71. Kanye, Lily, Pete, and Courtney form their own blogger nation
70. French Kicks, Swimming
69. Soundscan: down for the recount
68. Make It Stop! The Most of Ross Johnson
67. Parry Gripp, "Hamster on a Piano (Eating Popcorn)"
66. Okay, Huggable Dust
65. Mariah Carey, "Touch My Body"
64. 360 deals make heads spin
63. Daniel Amos, Darn Floor Big Bite
62. Cut Copy, In Ghost Colours
61. Solange, Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams
60. The Numa Numa Dance revival
59. The Gaslight Anthem, The '59 Sound
58. '90s alt-rock memoirs
57. Larry Norman and Sonseed
56. Sheryl Crow, "Shine Over Babylon"
55. DJ Koze
54. David Cook beats David Archuleta on American Idol
53. T-Pain, Thr33 Ringz
52. Perez Hilton Vs. Sony BMG: slapfight!
51. Justin Moore's "Back That Thing Up" video
50. Optimo's mix CDs
49. Extra Golden live at the Caledonia Lounge, Athens, GA, June 2008
48. Jamey Johnson, That Lonesome Song
47. Daveigh Chase sings "The Happiest Girl in the Whole USA" on HBO's Big Love
46. Gnarls Barkley and the Raconteurs race each other to the record store
45. Pete Wentz tries to save the music video with FNMTV
44. R&B's breakbeat vogue
43. Jobromance!
42. Dennis Wilson, Pacific Ocean Blue (Legacy Edition)
41. Miley Cyrus, "See You Again"
40. Max Martin and Dr. Luke infiltrate rock radio
39. Of Montreal get Skeletal
38. Poplife Presents Poplife Sucks
37. Alec Foege, Right of the Dial and Taylor Clark, Starbucked
36. Major labels fail to kill the single—again
35. Velvet Revolver brings the drama
34. Blake Leyh makes us listen closer to The Wire
33. Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, "Yahhh!"
32. The end of TRL
31. The old-skool rave revival
30. Ida Maria, "Oh My God"
29. Fred Schneider on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
28. CMT's Can You Duet
27. '90s reunion fever
26. Estelle makes her way across the ocean
25. John Darnielle's Master of Reality and Carl Wilson's Let's Talk About Love: A Journey to the End of Taste
24. Girl Talk, Feed the Animals
23. Santogold, "Lights Out"
22. Summer festival glut
21. Monotonix live in Baltimore
20. James Sullivan, The Hardest Working Man: How James Brown Saved the Soul of America
19. Be Your Own Pet, "Becky"
18. Kanye West's aesthetics
17. "Vinyl is back!"
16. Global reissues bonanza
15. Beyoncé, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"
14. Rickrolling rolls on
13. M.I.A., "Paper Planes"
12. Alphabeat get "wonky"
11. The year of the remix
10. R. Kelly goes to court
9. Jarvis Cocker at Pitchfork Festival, Chicago, July 2008
8. The Ron Clark Academy, "You Can Vote However You Like"
7. Portishead, Third
6. Prince at Coachella Festival, April 2008
5. Erykah Badu, New Amerykah Part One (4th World War)
4. Guitar Hero / Rock Band
3. A very musical Presidential election
2. Lil Wayne: All things to all people
1. Ne-Yo, Year Of The Gentleman

HEARTBREAKS
1. Mamma Mia Misses The Essence Of ABBA (Kate Richardson)
2. The Death of Baltimore Club Music's Queen, DJ K-Swift (Al Shipley)
3. The blogosphere as the new status quo (Lucas Jensen)
4. Britney Spears on the 2008 MTV VMAs (Molly McAleer)
5. Be Your Own Pet breaks up (Mike Barthel)
6. Everyone in the music business losing their freakin' jobs (Michaelangelo Matos)
7. Guns N' Roses, Chinese Democracy (Maura Johnston)
8. John Rich shills for the GOP (Chuck Eddy)

The remixes I liked most tended to be the ones that did the most overhauling of their sources. (I discussed DJ Koze's mix of Matias Aguayo's "Minimal" earlier in the countdown.) Supermayer's remix of Hot Chip's "One Pure Thought" is one that's stayed with me harder than I expected it to: it's stripped to the knuckle, as taut as the snare that continually snaps you to attention, and utilizes only one vocal line ("There is nothing greater") on its way to making a groove that stands on its own—and as one of the best DFA records not made by the DFA.

I'm sure I'll get called a pseud and worse, especially by Brits, for saying I like Mark Ronson's remix work, but I'm fine with that. His live-band funk turnovers of Robin Thicke's "Magic" and Maroon 5's "Wake Up Call" are the usual: crisp mod-soul with punchy horns, the whole thing a shameless appeal to nostalgia, and so well done it hardly matters.

Rock bands beyond NIN and Radiohead got in on the act, too. My favorite was Spoon, whose "Don't You Evah" underwent a handful of overhauls, the most wickedly effective being that by Ted Leo. The Pharmacist prescribed herb: Leo's "I Want It Hotter Remix" makes the song into a slithering, Pablo-meets-Tubby-indebted dub, an approach that worked perfectly. Similarly, Sharon Jones' "How Long Do I Have to Wait for You" was given a re-rub by Ticklah, on 7-inch by Daptone.

The Brits are starting to refer to "bass music," not as a general construct but to describe the bastard children of hip-hop, IDM, rave, and dancehall. Flying Lotus is the bellwether here, and his colorfully abstracted fuel the excellent Los Angeles as well as an imaginatively hollowed-out reworking of Kanye West's "Love Lockdown" and a sweet little pairing of "A Milli" with Lotus's own "Robo Tussin." Grime is a big part of bass music, but I never loved Burial until I came across "Boy 8-Bit's Simple Remix" of "Archangel," which turns it into a straighter house track that retains its rhythm tricks, a basic tweaking that breathes new life into the song. And funky/bassline house's richest moment came via Crazy Cousinz retooling Paleface & Kyla's "Do You Mind" into a devastatingly sexy skipping groove.

Finally, three remixes I particularly like fall under the general umbrella of recent nostalgia. Frankie Knuckles' remix of Hercules and Love Affair's "Blind" smooths out the original's bumpier elements. In a way, it's stunt casting—get the old-school house guy to bring his old-school house flavor—but given the material, it's one of the canniest moves yet from an act for which canniness is all. (And Antony sounds even more like a disco diva over a backdrop that has far more of the luster of the vintage stuff than H&LA's original "Blind" has.) Similarly, Alphabeat turning over "Boyfriend" to Stock-Aitken-Waterman mainstay Pete Hammond to turn into the plastic '80s the band craves has the effect of making the whole thing sound weirdly soulful.

The most '80s remixer of them all, of course, is Fred Falke. They all sound essentially alike: idealized Jan Hammer keyboards from Miami Vice, played for sunshine rather than pastel shading, and they're as shiny-sleazy a signature as you could hope for. When he applies them to the Whitest Boy Alive's "Golden Cage," though, they take the song's soft-sung lament and amplify them the way Zeppelin did the blues. It's one of the records that helped me get through the year: I turned to it when I wanted to wallow in missing my girlfriend a country or world away, the echoed "Over and over" and the layers of Greatest American Hero incidental-music keyboard lines buoying it to the heavens all cushioning me back into reality. I hope to hear similarly transformative work in the year to come.

Maroon 5 - Wake Up Call (Mark Ronson Remix) [YouTube]
Sharon Jones - How Long Do I Have to Wait for You (Reggae Version) [YouTube]
Lil Wayne - A Milli (Flying Lotus's Robo Tussin Remix) [YouTube]
Kanye West - Love Lockdown (Flying Lotus Remix) [YouTube]
Burial - Archangel (Boy 8-Bit's Simple Remix) [YouTube]
Paleface & Kyla - Do You Mind (Crazy Cousinz Remix) [YouTube]
Hercules and Love Affair - Blind (Frankie Knuckles Remix) [YouTube]
Alphabeat - Boyfriend (Pete Hammond Remix) [YouTube]
Whitest Boy Alive - Golden Cage (Fred Falke Remix) [YouTube]
80 '08 (and heartbreak)

West's stylistic explorations would be meaningless if they didn't show up in his music, and while the Daft Punk sample on "Stronger" may have seemed like hipster-baiting, he made clear with 808s and Heartbreak that his visual considerations actually led him to new musical horizons. He's taken the idea of shining to a whole new level, explicitly making style into a vehicle for creative growth. This is pop now: outfits and mixtapes as advance campaigns for new sounds, laying the groundwork for innovation by placing it preemptively in the proper context, tweaking the zeitgeist till it matches your own interests.

80 '08 (and heartbreak)

"American Boy" was one of the few singles this year that became a genuine phenomenon, inspiring gender-flipped takes from the likes of Fall Out Boy and live performances by Kanye that handed over the flirtatious parts to his lyrically adept audiences. It even caused Atlantic Records, Estelle's record company, to rethink its digital-marketing strategy, although that was an experiment that wound up being ill-advised.

The album "Boy" sprung from, Shine, is pretty wonderful, too, gliding between straightforward R & B and dancehall in a way that can give a summery glint to even the coldest days. (My only quibble is that it does have a few too many cameos—Cee-Lo, yay; Wyclef, nay—but that's par for the course in the R & B game these days.) Estelle also had a few fine pinch-hit appearances of her own, but my favorite had to come when she took on the role of "hook girl" for the Gym Class Heroes' long-limbed jam "Guilty As Charged." As a bonus, she gets to play a complete bad-ass in the video!

Estelle [MySpace]
Estelle - American Boy [YouTube]
Gym Class Heroes - Guilty As Charged [MTV]
80 '08 (and heartbreak)

Let's start with the best: Ne-Yo. Yes, yes, I am in the tank for him. But his set—nestled in between Katy Perry and Jesse McCartney, and too abbreviated (by which I mean it didn't last all night)—was all showmanship, with him clad in a form-fitting suit and channeling Morris Day and Joe Tex while pummeling through tracks from Year Of The Gentleman and a few older radio hits. ("So Sick" had everyone singing along.) The audience, which was mostly made up of teenage girls and their parents/older siblings (I sat next to a semi-aggrieved 20-year-old from Long Island who was chaperoning his 13-year-old sister and her friends; meanwhile, my companion and I were some of the oldest women in attendance who weren't mothers), was happy to see him at first, but by the time he did his show-closing cane-twirling routine (!!) they were in full-on freak-out mode. It almost made me feel bad for McCartney, whose oversized suit was about as ill-fitting has his set; he'd received the loudest cheers from the crowd when his face came up on the Jumbotrons, but the response to his actual performance was lackluster.

Because my friend and I arrived 25 minutes late, we missed the first three acts on the bill. (These shows are run with military precision, although I guess Z100 does employ a traffic coordinator, so it knows about the importance of tight scheduling.) We arrived just in time for Leona Lewis, whose capable set was marred by its consistent tempo, which could best be described as "mid." Give that woman some beats! Katy Perry was next, and while my companion was horrified at her inability to run, sing, and breathe at the same time, well... at least she looked sort of cute in that sparkly red dress, which she referred to as her "Slutty Claus" outfit. She sure does like to get boys' attention!

Kanye West's set was 80/20 old/new, and the new songs did seem to bum out a lot of the kids in the crowd, but I relished his performance—and loved that he just ended, without fanfare or saying good night. It was a marked contrast to Ne-Yo, but then again, Ne-Yo's performance was much more about bringing the audience in, while Kanye, who sang on a few non-808 songs (including "American Boy"!) was seemingly trying to keep people out.

The final two acts of the night were both pitched directly toward the swooning girls; David Archuleta played four tracks, including a sprightly cover of Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles," while Chris Brown presided over a set that threatened to turn into America's Best Dance Crew 3 way too often for people to stay interested. Only when Rihanna came out did the stage become electrified, thanks to the undeniable sexual chemistry between her and Brown (the crowd went into hyperdrive when Brown put his hand on Rihanna's midriff) and the unquenchable pop quality held by both her and the songs she performed, "Umbrella" and "Live Your Life." In a week where Brown was crowned the No. 1 pop star, it was his rumored paramour who almost stole his set out from under him.

Jingle Ball 2008 [Z100]

Kanye West was the musical guest on the holiday episode of Saturday Night Live, and his performance of "Love Lockdown" and "Heartless" resulted in catcalling from the usual suspects: "Disturbingly like a quiet man during bad karaoke"; "It sounded off... maybe just too much bragging about his sheer talent?"; "No surprise that Kanye West is the latest singer to sound like crap on SNL." (OK, at least that last bit recognizes that all the musical guests this year have had serious technical issues, but still.)

Kanye himself didn't seem all that distraught with his performances, posting them both on his blog shortly after they were bootlegged online. And why should he? Sure, the mixing of his voice was a little high in the grand scheme of things, but both performances were compelling, with Kanye seemingly becoming possessed by the tracks as he sang them. The struggle between his imperfect voice and the trying-its-damndest-to-fix-it Autotune was uncomfortable, but that was in many ways the point; hey, heartbreak ain't a pretty thing, even when you have the newest creature comforts (pills! fancy couches! beautiful women! luxury brands!) to "make it all better."

Perhaps it was because I saw both these performances in a grander context the night before the SNL taping (about which more later), but what I saw on SNL when I watched it bleary-eyed on Sunday morning was a man trying to work through demons by creating something. Sure, 808s And Heartbreak is, despite the focus-grouping of its first singles, a statement taken almost-directly off the cuff, but isn't anger one of the stages of grief? What Kanye's doing here, as Eric Harvey puts it, "writing songs in the manner of conversation fragments and flustered, late-night voicemail messages"—you know, the type that I'm sure every one of you have left, and regretted. That he's crafting pop art out of the drunk dial is something that should be examined, and not "LOL"ed at right out.

Also, I find it kinda funny that quite a few of the people calling Kanye out aren't afraid to embrace other bands where technical prowess is trumped by "really feeling it, man"—the Vivian Girls, etc., etc. Is this something else that we can blame on the CSNoozY stylings of Fleet Foxes, or is there a troubling double standard going on here?

Kanye West - Heartless / Pinocchio Story - SNL - 12/13/2008 [Dailymotion]
Kanye West - Love Lockdown - SNL - 12/13/2008 [Dailymotion]
[via kanYe West: Blog]

VENUE
Courtney: MySpace.
Kanye: A well-designed, Flash-enhanced hosted site.

MODEL:
Courtney: Edie Sedgwick
Kanye: Someone named "Dollicia."

AESTHETIC:
Courtney: Steampunk (!!!).
Kanye: Holocubes.

MUSIC:
Courtney: A new wave/girl group/VU female singer-songwriter.
Kanye: People he's worked with.

MOVIES:
Courtney: Milk.
Kanye: Kanye does not appear to watch movies, but he is excited about the Ghostbusters game.

DESIGN:
Courtney: A purveyor of "whimsical costume accessories."
Kanye: Art students.

ACCESSORIES:
Courtney: Etsy-hawked Jewlery that incorporates vintage elements.
Kanye: Casio watches.

FOREIGN INFLUENCE:
Courtney: Japanese pop-punk gothic lolita Nana Kitade.
Kanye: Japanese pop-art guru Takashi Murakami.

What can we conclude from all this? If you follow Kanye, you'll end up wearing a Casio and sitting on a well-designed chair while a girl named Dollicia tries to distract you from playing video games; if you follow Courtney, you'll end up throwing a parasol at your best friend over an argument about gay rights you had on MySpace. In other words, Kanye will have you living the hipster dream, and Courtney will have you living like a teenage girl. Hers is more realistic, at least.

visual hot list [Courtney Love's MySpace Blog]
kanYe West: blog [KanyeUniverseCity]

Above, a sketch for the stage design of Kanye West's forthcoming tour, which may be called "Ye vs. th[photo cuts off here]." Gil Kaufman at MTV News wondered if the stage design was a portent that the tour would be themed after Joe Vs. The Volcano, but I'm wondering if it isn't going to be some sort of abandoned amusement-park-themed thing, with Kanye walking through a junkyard (metaphor for his emotions!) that's filled with decrepit Space Mountains et al (another metaphor!).

I'm probably overthinking, right? Anyway. If you have a better idea, feel free to toss it out there.

Also I love that this was the entirety of the post in question's title:

THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR MAKING 808'S & HEARTBREAK THE NUMBER ONE ALBUM IN THE WORLD!!!!! LOVE LOCK DOWN HAS SOLD 1.3 MILLION SO FAR ON ITUNES AND HEARTLESS AND SEE YOU IN MY NIGHTMARES SOLD OVER ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND EACH LAST WEEK. THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. THIS IS A NEW FRONTIER FOR ME AND MUSIC. ALL THE MIXED OPINIONS WILL BE OVER BY NEXT SUMMER WHEN I'M CLOSING FESTIVALS AND EVERYONE IS SINGING OKAAAAY ... OKAY. OKAAAAAYEE .. YOU'LL NEVER STOP IT NOW!!!! YOU'LL NEVER STOP IT NOW!!!! OR YOU WORRIED BOUT THE WRONG THINGS , THE WROOONG THIIINGS!!!!

Working with Jon Brion resulted in the strangest things rubbing off.

THANK YOU EVERYBODY ETC ETC [kanYe West: Blog ; HT MTV Newsroom]

Billboard noted that the entire market was down, along with the headliners.

Music sales were down anywhere from 10% to 30% and hit albums released for Black Friday didn't perform up to expectations, according to merchants contacted by Billboard. Sources say Kanye West's "808s & Heartbreak" will sell in the range of 425,000-450,000 units, significantly down from 700,000-975,000 units previously projected.

Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" is expected to clock in at 250,000-260,000, which is also down from expectations that it would sell anywhere from 300,000-784,000 units.

Some might say that if sales for music are down in general from last year, it would follow that big titles' sales would be disappointing as well. However, isn't that reversing the cause and the effect? If another 500,000 customers would have headed into the music section of their favorite store to pick up the Kanye disc, wouldn't the entire market have risen as well?

Maybe the problem isn't the economy, but the bad the pre-release leak buzz for both discs. It wasn't that long ago that Lil Wayne and Coldplay eclipsed the gold standard in their albums' first week on shelves, and although the economy has taken a decided turn for the worse since, there weren't millions of additional customers flooding stores during either of those earlier sales weeks. Maybe my real question is: What would Weezy have sold if Tha Carter III hit stores last week instead? I realize that it's impossible to come up with a definitive answer, but on a personal note, I purchased each previous Kanye disc on its release date, but didn't feel the need to get 808s, despite the snappy cover. After hearing the leak, I knew I wouldn't be listening to the disc once 2009 rolled around, and I decided to spend my money on something else (a Wii game, incidentally).

Did you feel the same way? What's really to blame for the disappointing bottom line?

Kanye, Guns N' Roses Post Slow Debut-Week Sales [Billboard]

Bosses at label Geffen are blaming unpredictable Axl for the disappointing sales after he went AWOL for two months before the release date.

Despite all the effort put into one of the most extravagant rock albums of all time, staff could not contact Axl to get him to promote his rock epic.

In fact, they failed to make contact with him from the day he delivered the final cut. ...

An insider said: “Everyone knows Axl is a bit of a maverick genius and won’t do anything he doesn’t want to do.

“The label is really glad to have him back. But it is frustrating because the album would have had a much better chance of going to No1 if he had only been prepared to show his face.

“People have been trying to contact him for two months and he’s been completely AWOL.

“You would have thought after spending 15 years on an album you might do a few weeks promotion.”

Of course, this has to be taken with the usual Grain Of UK Tabloid Salt (approximate diameter: 12 inches), but you have to admit that the idea of Axl going into hiding immediately upon handing in his album, and only speaking through his lawyers when he wants to get pissy with carbonated-beverage manufacturers over their online coupons not working, doesn't seem all that far-fetched.

Axl goes AWOL [The Sun]

Anyway, all this arguing and bickering about Chinese Democracy's sales may be moot, because look what's No. 1 on iTunes right now, much to a certain blogger's glee:

At least either way, Universal Music Group wins again. (Talk about deja vu!)

Rumor Mill [Hits]

Kanye clarifies, brushes it off, and expresses affection for the offending party—and then plugs his current project. Mr. Joel, watch and learn:

I LISTEN TO JEEZY, WAYNE, JIM JONES, BIG BRO AND RICK ROSS IN MY CAR AND IN THE GYM. I LISTEN TO ONLY BUILT FOR CUBAN LINKS AND NAS WHEN I DESIGN... BUT IF I'M IN THE CRIB CHILLING AFTER RAPPING ON STAGE EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE... NO I'M NOT TURNING ON NO RAP MUSIC. (INCORRECT GRAMMAR INTENDED) IF SOMEBODY WORKS IN STARBUCKS THEY DON'T DRINK COFFEE AT THE CRIB. GO TO BOSSIP AND READ THE COMMENTS. PEOPLE ARE REALLY UPTIGHT ABOUT WHAT I LISTEN TO IN MYYYYY HOME! I AIN'T GO LIE... SOME OF THE COMMENTS ARE MAD FUNNY THOUGH!!! BOSSIP IS ONE MY FAVORITES!!! HAHAAAAA ... OH AND I STILL LOVE YBF TOO. WATCH THA AMA'S TONIGHT!!! SING IT WITH ME.... HOW COULD YOU BE SO HEARTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIDEBAR: I USE ALL CAPS CAUSE I'M LAZY NOT MAD. I TYPE WITH ONE HAND AND HOLD THE PHONE WITH THE OTHER.

This points out a problem with another bit of the consultants' advice:

If the rant is a one-off on a small blog with limited readership, it’s often best to simply let it go. If the problem persists, arguing is not the answer, but a gentle “we’ve been tracking your comments, and are quite surprised. How can we help you get to the bottom of this” might work. We’ve seen people stop posting as soon as they realize that someone is watching.

It depends who you are. If people respect you, there's a good chance that as long as you're courteous and respectful when you wade into a discussion, it'll garner more goodwill. But if you're big enough, people who are criticizing you often want you to engage directly with them, because they feel like they have useful advice. Engaging just makes it worse. The biggest rule about online criticism, then, is this: It will never go away. Because it's not a new phenomenon! The comments people leave on blogs and message boards are the kind of things that have always been said about public figures throughout history. It's just that now, they're visible for everyone—including the subject—to see.

So based on all this, let's try to formulate a few rules for responding to criticism on the Internet.

• Just don't respond. It may seem hard, and it won't stop the bitching. But it will keep you sane. Once you get drawn in, that will almost always end badly, adding more fuel to the fire and forcing you to either keep responding or quit the Internet. And know yourself: if you're not a good writer, not experienced at Internet "discourse," and not quick-witted, just stay out of it. You'll only make yourself look worse.

  But if you do want to respond...

• Respond early, respectfully, and with good humor. Your best bet here is to charm people. Be nice. Acknowledge their criticisms—you probably did do something stupid! Hey, everyone does. If you get in early, you'll only have to deal directly with one or two people, who you can pick, but everyone will then feel personally engaged. And when people feel like you're someone they have a relationship with on a peer level, rather than being just some distant figure they can mock without any consequences, they're more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

  Let's say, however, there's some really egregious stuff out there and you want to argue with your critics. What then?

• You have to be able to look smarter than them. For all its mainstreaming and dumbing-down, the Internet is still, ultimately, a venue ruled by nerds. You will not win with self-righteousness. You will not win with basic insults. You will win with elaborate, cutting insults that shame and humiliate the critic, that cut to their most hidden shames and expose them as shallow, weak, and pathetic. And more than anything else, you will win if you keep your cool and the critic doesn't. You have to be able to slip the knife in with a smile. And that's a really, really hard thing to do.

YUP, I SAID IT... [kanYe West: Blog]

• "If West had interspersed the more mechanical tracks with some that were the exact opposite—say, simple piano interludes provided by his old collaborators John Legend or Jon Brion—he might have made a masterpiece. Instead, he's merely given us an extremely intriguing, sporadically gripping, undeniably fearless and altogether unexpected piece of his troubled soul." [Chicago Sun-Times]

• "This is not the album Kanye West fans likely expected, nor is it one they likely will embrace as eagerly as his previous multimillion-sellers. It also assumes that West's fans care about his inner life, even though endless controversies have given them good reason to write him off. West plows ahead anyway. This one is for him. It remains to be seen if he goes back to making records for everybody else. For now, this is one fascinatingly perverse detour." [Chicago Tribune]

• "West undoubtedly will find his way out of this purgatory, and fans will be happy when he returns to the wider vision he's communicated on past projects. But as strange and even tedious as 808s and Heartbreak might strike some listeners, it's not just a puppet show. Or rather, it is, and all the more fascinating for that." [LA Times]

• "One of the album’s most fascinating aspects is that, no matter how deep West delves into the dark heart of his state of mind, his sharp ear for hooks cannot help but assert itself. 'Bad News'’s funereal northern-soul two-step might be strange, but it lodges in the head. And the sheer mad fun of 'Paranoid'’s nods to 'Blue Monday' and Van Halen’s 'Jump' is evidence that, amid the heartbreak, West is reconnecting with his mischievous side, too. A bizarre, brave and brilliant album." [Times Of London]

• "Killing the pain by throwing himself into his work, West is promising another record soon, although it's unclear whether it will be an Amnesiac-style companion to what is essentially his equivalent of Radiohead's Kid A, a slate-cleaning exercise that allows for creative, and in this case personal, rebirth. It might seem harsh but let's hope he doesn't find too much happiness in the meantime. Loneliness is proving quite the muse." [Guardian]

BUY
Guns N' Roses, Chinese Democracy Hey, writing about Axl Rose's magnum opus has paid my bills for the last two years and change. The least I could do is give back.

Kanye West, 808s & Heartbreak: It may be the most divisive album to come out this year, if only because West is one of the few artists left who has a wide-enough fanbase to split through the power of his aesthetic decisions. But you know what? The more I listen, the more I'm coming out on the "pro" side.

The Killers, Day & Age: But wait until it's discounted to The Nice Price.

DOWNLOAD
Ludacris, Theater Of The Mind: Because it'll have at least one instance of Ludacris rolling up his vowels and his consonants in a way that drives me wild.

Barry Manilow, The Greatest Songs Of The '80s: This would go in the "kill" section were it not for the presence of a Journey cover, which I'm going to have to hear at least once for sick curiosity's sake.

The Fireman, Electric Arguments: That first single was straight, um, fire, but one only has so many hours in a day.

KILL
Trace Adkins, X (Ten): Not only did he have to explain that the "X" in his title isn't a reference to sleaze, but a nod to this being his 10th album, any success this album might have will probably result in him recording another awful between-innings anthem. (I suspect others might agree, as country isn't exactly flying off the shelves this year. Unless it's being sung by sparkly-guitar-wielding girls, that is.)

Scott Weiland, "Happy" In Galoshes: Because dude needs help infinitely more than he needs SoundScans.

Nov. 25, 2008 [Pause & Play]
[Thanks to Defamer for the inspiration]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: Like some other listeners, I put off listening to the many leaked component parts from the fourth album by Chicago's second-favorite son until the entire thing arrived intact. Why spoil things, especially since unlike the just-linked Robert Myers, I haven't been anything like a fan of the stuff I'd been hearing. "Love Lockdown" struck me as a cross between lousy Junior Boys and tolerable T-Pain, meaning nothing I'd ever reach for on my own, for pleasure. So I'm not a bit surprised that 808s & Heartbreak is basically 52 minutes of the same. (Or only 46 minutes, if the leak's bonus track, a useless live "freestyle" recorded in Singapore called "Pinocchio Story," isn't included, as the album's Amazon listing currently indicates.) While Kanye gets huge credit for having the guts to swerve completely away from that which made him famous, most of these songs seem like gussied up demos he made with his new toys, not a commanding change of direction. It's not even terrible, which might give it more rubbernecking value; it's just not especially there, which if you're gonna pull an artistic about-face you really do need to have. Instead, songs like "Say You Will" and "Welcome to Heartbreak" crossbreed latter-day Autotune&B and frosty neo-electro with a healthy dollop of high-fructose corn syrup, and it does no one any real favors. Fearless prediction: this thing's gonna get sold back more than any other Christmas-timed release of 2008, including Guns N' Roses.

THE BEST TRACK: When you're dealing with what is essentially a novelty record, go for the funniest track. In this case, that's "RoboCop," from its chase-scene-in-an-8-bit -video-game intro beat to the lyric, which makes liberal references to movies that predate Kanye's high school graduation ("Just looking at your history / You're like the girl from Misery"). And yes, the lulz are on purpose.

I’m not the first person to make the connection between Evanescence and Paramore, but the No. 34 Billboard Hot 100 debut of “Decode” from the chart-topping Twilight soundtrack makes it a bit more obvious. It’s Paramore’s highest-ever pop debut, and it finds them embracing the teen-goth subculture.

Evanescence’s Amy Lee could tell Paramore about how lucrative the black-wearing-girl demographic can be. But she also has the 2003 Ben Affleck comic-schlock movie Daredevil to thank for Evanescence’s breakthrough. “Bring Me to Life” probably would’ve been a hit eventually no matter what, but the Hollywood-fueled promotional boost—at a time when modern rock and even top 40 radio were allergic to female-fronted rock songs—didn’t hurt.

The only difference is that Evanescence went the Hollywood route with its first major-label single. One wonders why Paramore didn’t go this way sooner.

To be sure, Paramore’s been doing just fine thus far. Their second album, 2007’s Riot!, went platinum after a long, steady chart run and spawned the Top Five Modern Rock and Top 20 pop hit “Misery Business”; followup single “CrushCrushCrush,” did equally well at Modern Rock and just missed the Top 40. In a dismal music-industry climate, those results are impressive for a new rock act.

But Evanescence’s track record shows how much more cash registers ring when a song really crosses over. “Bring Me to Life” topped the Modern Rock list in March 2003 before making the pop Top Five three months later, and it sold millions of copies of the album Fallen all by itself. The band didn’t even have to release a second single until December 2003, when the album was already certified triple-platinum. That second single, the torch ballad “My Immortal” (which had also been primed by the Daredevil soundtrack), pushed the album past sextuple-platinum.

Ultimately, what made Evanescence a hit act was its carefully cultivated mall-goth-girl vibe, Lee’s diary-entry lyrics, and (duh!) a handful of catchy songs. But the movie connection greased the wheels at male-dominated radio when programmers weren’t guaranteed to open their playlists. At the time of the song’s release, there hadn’t been a woman-fronted song atop the Modern Rock chart in half a decade (since 1998’s Hole track “Celebrity Skin”; things haven’t gotten much better since—Evanescence was the last distaff act to top the list). I doubt anyone fondly recalls Daredevil, the movie or the soundtrack, five years later, but for a few weeks it did its job for Amy Lee’s career.

Ironically, the teen-vampire yarn Twilight is exactly the sort of flick that should have an Evanescence song on it, but Amy Lee’s absence is Hayley Williams’ opportunity. The wiry, spine-tingly “Decode” debuted on the Modern Rock list a month ago and moves into the Top 20 this week. On the Hot 100, it gets a faster start than any of Paramore’s previous singles thanks to first-week iTunes sales of 63,000—it’s already the band’s second-biggest pop hit.

Frankly, “Decode” isn’t as catchy as any of the singles from Riot!, but hype around Twilight is so intense—my local morning-show DJs yammer about it, or heartthrob actor Robert Pattinson, virtually every day—that it’ll probably get a few weeks of guaranteed airplay on teen-heavy audience hours anyway. The soundtrack’s already made an upset debut at No. 1 on the album chart (rare for a movie not yet opened; not even High School Musical 3 pulled that off), and the movie’s opening next weekend can only spell further penetration for Paramore.

The most advantageous thing about a hit soundtrack is that it can tide over a band until their next album, the way “Big Empty” from 1994’s The Crow kept Stone Temple Pilots circling the runway until their smash second disc dropped later that year. Paramore’s next album is reportedly penciled in for summer 2009, but it’ll be interesting to see whether Warner Music spurs the band into pushing it out sooner. Evanescence proved, after their hit sophomore album The Open Door in 2006, that they could wait three years between discs and still sell well; but after another year of double-digit percentage drops in music sales, it’s not 1994 or even 2006 anymore.

Here's a rundown of the rest of this week's charts:

• If a single falls in the forest and radio isn’t playing it, does it make a sound? The high debuts this week of pre-album singles from Kanye West and Taylor Swift—his second from the forthcoming 808 and Heartbreak, her fifth from next week’s preordained chart-topper Fearless—are case studies in the mismatch between sales and airplay in our new world order.

In an era where iTunes’ Complete My Album feature allows labels to drop singles from forthcoming blockbusters like a trail of breadcrumbs, it’s now commonplace for certain major acts—Lil Wayne, Coldplay, the Jonas Brothers—to score a raft of quick, flashy hits on the Hot 100. But the labels dropping these multiple pre-album tracks don’t necessarily expect to score airplay on more than one or two of them. This week, West and Swift basically represent two different promotional models.

West’s “Heartless” erupts onto the Hot 100 at No. 4, nearly matching the No. 3 debut of “Love Lockdown” two months ago. Sales of more than 200,000—the week’s top digital track—are the catalyst. But unlike some other fast-breaking digital songs, “Heartless” is shaping up as a radio hit, too: it already registers on the lower rungs of the Pop and R&B Airplay lists (No. 67 on the former, No. 61 on the latter). Actually, Kanye’s an old hand at the two-single pre-album model—he did it on all three of his previous discs, each of which was preceded by one modest hit and one No. 1 smash: “Through the Wire” and “Slow Jamz” from The College Dropout; “Diamonds from Sierra Leone” and “Gold Digger” from Late Registration; and “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” and “Stronger” from Graduation. Even in this post-Carter III era, he hasn’t really changed his album setup strategy.

Swift’s model is more akin to what worked so well this past summer for the Jonas Brothers (not surprising, considering who she, until recently, was dating). Sales of more than 170,000 put “You Belong with Me” at No. 12 on the Hot 100, following four other pre-Fearless singles that either debuted in or came close to the Top 10. But at radio, “Belong” does what virtually every pre-album single this year from her has done—no measurable airplay whatsoever, at country radio or anywhere else. That’s because programmers remain focused on just one of those singles, “Love Story,” which moves to No. 1 on the Country list this week.

Not to be too arch, but I would call “Love Story” an actual hit, whereas “Belong” and Swift’s other three short-lived pre-album singles are “hits,” in quotes. All of these tracks have spent an average of three or four weeks on the Hot 100—yet they will go into the chart record books as Top 10 or Top 20 hits. There’s got to be a special category for pseudo-“hits” like that.

• Speaking of ways in which the new music economy is skewing the record books: In his weekly column over at Billboard, Fred Bronson discusses the longevity of Rihanna’s singles-deep album Good Girl Gone Bad, which spawns its eighth Hot 100 hit this week, the No. 91–debuting “Rehab” (no relation to the Amy Winehouse hit). According to Bronson, Ri’s album becomes the first since Shania Twain’s mega-blockbuster Come on Over to spawn this many chart hits. I’ve loved most of the hits from Good Girl, and hey, go Rihanna—but there’s got to be an asterisk on this achievement, too.

Rihanna only amasses this total if you treat both versions of Good Girl as one album. Island Def Jam relaunched it last spring with three new tracks, all of which have made the Hot 100; two were chart-toppers, “Take a Bow” and “Disturbia,” and the third was the flop Maroon 5 duet “If I Never See Your Face Again.” “Rehab” was actually on the original version of the album, which also spawned the initial four hits “Umbrella,” “Shut Up and Drive,” “Hate That I Love You” and “Don’t Stop the Music.” It is impressive that a fifth song from that original lineup made the big chart more than 18 months after the album debuted. But the phenomenon of reissuing hit albums with multiple radio-bound singles is relatively recent, and those three interstitial hits shouldn’t have the same weight in the record books.

• After more than a decade of recording, frat-friendly jam-banders O.A.R. (Of a Revolution) can finally add the designation “Top 40 hitmakers” to their resume. “Shattered (Turn the Car Around),” a ditty that sounds like a leftover from a 1995 Friends soundtrack, creeps up two notches to No. 40 on the Hot 100. Sales and airplay contribute to its chart position in roughly equal measure. It’s the 38th best-selling digital track this week, with 32,000 downloads; and the 53rd most-played song at radio across all genres—after breaking at Triple-A radio since last spring, it’s now a hit at mainstream pop and adult Top 40 stations.

• The first odes to our new President-elect make their Hot 100 debut this week: hologram-friendly will.i.am with "It's a New Day" at No. 78, and Young Jeezy’s “My President,” featuring Nas, at No. 92. Only Jeezy’s song makes the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs list, debuting at No. 54, but it’s joined there by Seal’s Obama-inspired remake of Sam Cooke’s “A Change Is Gonna Come” at No. 100. I don’t know if any of these tunes will have the shelf life of, say, “High Hopes”—but let’s not be cynical.

Top 10s
Last week's position and total weeks charted in parentheses (Digital Songs chart includes total downloads/percentage change in parentheses):

Hot 100
1. T.I. feat. Rihanna, "Live Your Life" (LW No. 1, 7 weeks)
2. T.I., "Whatever You Like" (LW No. 2, 14 weeks)
3. Katy Perry, "Hot N Cold" (LW No. 4, 15 weeks)
4. Kanye West, "Heartless" (CHART DEBUT)
5. Beyoncé, "If I Were a Boy" (LW No. 5, 5 weeks)
6. Pink, "So What" (LW No. 3, 12 weeks)
7. Britney Spears, "Womanizer" (LW No. 6, 6 weeks)
8. Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne, "Let It Rock" (LW No. 7, 11 weeks)
9. Jason Mraz, "I’m Yours" (LW No. 10, 30 weeks)
10. Akon, "Right Now (Na Na Na)" (LW No. 9, 7 weeks)

Hot Digital Songs
1. Kanye West, "Heartless" (CHART DEBUT, 201,000 downloads)
2. T.I. feat. Rihanna, "Live Your Life" (LW No. 1, 179,000 downloads)
3. Taylor Swift, "You Belong with Me" (CHART DEBUT, 172,000 downloads)
4. Beyoncé, "If I Were a Boy" (LW No. 3, 149,000 downloads)
5. Kevin Rudolf feat. Lil Wayne, "Let It Rock" (LW No. 6, 132,000 downloads)
6. Britney Spears, "Womanizer" (LW No. 4, 132,000 downloads)
7. Katy Perry, "Hot N Cold" (LW No. 7, 131,000 downloads)
8. Akon, "Right Now (Na Na Na)" (LW No. 9, 122,000 downloads)
9. T.I., "Whatever You Like" (LW No. 8, 118,000 downloads)
10. Pink, "So What" (LW No. 5, 113,000 downloads)

Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs
1. Ne-Yo, "Miss Independent" (LW No. 1, 16 weeks)
2. Jennifer Hudson, "Spotlight" (LW No. 2, 26 weeks)
3. T.I., "Whatever You Like" (LW No. 3, 17 weeks)
4. T.I. feat. Rihanna, "Live Your Life" (LW No. 4, 9 weeks)
5. Beyoncé, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" (LW No. 7, 5 weeks)
6. T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne, "Can't Believe It," (LW No. 5, 18 weeks)
7. Lil Wayne feat. Bobby Valentino, "Mrs. Officer" (LW No. 8, 19 weeks)
8. Jazmine Sullivan, "Need U Bad" (LW No. 6, 28 weeks)
9. Jazmine Sullivan, "Bust Your Windows" (LW No. 9, 9 weeks)
10. John Legend feat. Andre 3000, "Green Light" (LW No. 12, 12 weeks)

Hot Country Songs
1. Taylor Swift, "Love Story" (LW No. 2, 9 weeks)
2. Zac Brown Band, "Chicken Fried" (LW No. 3, 21 weeks)
3. Tim McGraw, "Let It Go" (LW No. 4, 17 weeks)
4. Carrie Underwood, "Just a Dream" (LW No. 1, 18 weeks)
5. Montgomery Gentry, "Roll with Me" (LW No. 6, 16 weeks)
6. Sugarland, "Already Gone" (LW No. 7, 11 weeks)
7. Rascal Flatts, "Here" (LW No. 9, 10 weeks)
8. Brad Paisley with Keith Urban, "Start a Band" (LW No. 10, 9 weeks)
9. Toby Keith, "She Never Cried in Front of Me" (LW No. 5, 20 weeks)
10. Kenny Chesney, "Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven" (LW No. 8, 15 weeks)

Hot Modern Rock Tracks
1. The Offspring, "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" (LW No. 1, 16 weeks)
2. Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire" (LW No. 3, 12 weeks)
3. Rise Against, "Re-Education (Through Labor)" (LW No. 4, 12 weeks)
4. Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier, "I Don't Care" (LW No. 5, 19 weeks)
5. Weezer, "Troublemaker" (LW No. 2, 18 weeks)
6. The Killers, "Human" (LW No. 6, 7 weeks)
7. Shinedown, "Second Chance" (LW No. 13, 8 weeks)
8. Metallica, "The Day That Never Comes" (LW No. 7, 12 weeks)
9. Theory of a Deadman, "Bad Girlfriend" (LW No. 8, 21 weeks)
10. Death Cab for Cutie, "Cath..." (LW No. 10, 11 weeks)

Kanye had his rant at the launch of 808s & Heartbreak, his new album, before the first of his dazzling show at London’s O2 Arena on Tuesday.

He said: “BRITNEY SPEARS over RIHANNA? Are you serious?

“I mean f****** JARED LETO? He’s my boy but he shouldn’t have won over some of those other artists.

“I won nothing last year and I’d brought out Stronger.

“Then this year, just because I was there, I won best urban act. This was L’IL WAYNE’s year.”

The best part of this story, aside from that errant apostrophe? A reference to MTV's "academy" that decides the awards. Ahahahahaha.

I Kan not believe it [Sun]

(Seriously, this clip is totally NSFW. So don't click if you're in an office.)

Other notes from the interview he granted yesterday:

• He's getting in touch with himself again. "I love listening sessions, because it feels like Christmas Day when the parents get to see their kids open up the gifts. I feel like I try to give the gift of music. This album is based off the devastation and the hurt that I’ve felt the past year. All the hurt that I’ve felt within the past year from all the losses that I’ve endured, have sort of settled me into being this fucking super-famous alien, where everywhere I go, somebody wants a fucking photograph…it’s hard when you not really a celebrity, but you’re just a real person that ended up being famous for your craft."

• The Blueprint 3 is delayed until early '09, but Lil Wayne has a new record coming out soon. "It’s rumors of another album coming soon. I’m not gonna put that pressure on myself. I’m probably coming with another tour in June though. But, that’s where I’m at with my life right now. I really wanted to release this music, and I forced L.A. [Reid] to give me this release date. I was like, 'Don’t fuckin’ wait months and months to set it up. Just give people the music!' I’m constantly making music; we almost finished with Jay. Jay’s album is coming in February… There’s a new Wayne [click to read] with special packaging that’s coming before this Christmas is out. We’ve got a new record on there together. So we still got a bunch of shit."

• He's not behind all the leaks of his material. And he seems to have a healthy attitude about the current depressed sales climate! "Also, 'Robocop' is completely different on the album. 'Paranoid' is different. I did not leak those, and I did not leak the 'Heartless' video. Motherfuckers is leaking my shit. The only shit I leaked was 'Heartless' and 'Love Lockdown.' Them the only joints I actually put out. Basically, the label moved it up to get more sales and shit. If I get the sales, then cool. If I don't, then, hey... I'll have to bare the burden, because I've been a cocky motherfucker and talked my shit and all that. And the people would love to see me not sell...hey, it is what it is. That's the way life is, man. But hopefully I sell."

Speaking of leaks, a bunch of other tracks from the album leaked last night; nine of the allegedly eleven tracks are out there. I'm still partial to "Coldest Winter"—hey, wait a second, why didn't he mention Tears For Fears when he was listing his inspirations?

Breaking: Kanye Talks Album Leaks, Auto-Tune, And More [HipHopDX]
American Psycho - Entire Phil Collins Scene [YouTube]

ONE-LISTEN VERDICT: "Amazin'" is another downtempo, Autotuned-to-next-week song from Kanye West, although this time out West is lyrically defiant, talking about how he feels while in the afterglow of a show and how no one can take the joy of holding a crowd in the palm of his hand away from him. The endless loop—which is marked by a few guttural barks, choirs of angels, and some otherworldly screeches here and there—breaks just before Young Jeezy comes in to drop a verse that's as much about boasting as it is about his blood pressure, and he sounds so fierce, one might think that Kanye brought him in specifically to channel his more aggro, less mediated-by-studio-trickery side.

WHERE TO HEAR IT: StreetCred.com has a stream:

Axl Rose's forever-in-the-making opus comes out the day before at Best Buy (thanks to the big-box store's release week), and while I suspect that first day will see a lot of sales, things will really heat up at week's end, thanks to Black Friday and its potential for people falling over themselves to score $49 DVD players for their friends and relatives. Who will "win" this battle is a bit up in the air—and much less fraught than the Kanye Versus Fifty Oh My God battle that we devoted so much virtual ink to last year—but I'm going to give the edge to Axl, thanks to the sorta-lukewarm response many self-proclaimed Kanye fans on the Internet have given to the already-leaked tracks, the extremely pent-up demand for this record (it has, after all, been 15 years of silence) and the likelihood that Best Buys everywhere will be filled with huge displays of the record. Now, if Detox somehow got into the mix, the story could be very different...

The best day for music this year? [HamptonRoads.com]