Idolator

Jessica Simpson's "Public Affair" is simultaneously the worst song of 2006 and the best song of 1983. That's because, as most of you figured out upon first listen, "Affair" is a shameless rip-off of Madonna's "Holiday." A mash-up's been posted on the website for 1 More Hit, a documentary on former Pharcyde producer J Swift (it doesn't mention who's responsible for the damning remix).

In other Simpson news, she reportedly took a panicky pregnancy test after getting with Dane Cook. The results were negative, meaning society has missed out on the most middlingly talented singer-comedian hybrid since this guy.

"Holiday Affair" [1 More Hit]
"Jessica's Terrifying Baby Scare" [National Enquirer]