Idolator
Last week, the NME ran a 1,300-word, margin-busting review of Myths Of The Near Future, the first album by "new rave" standard-bearers Klaxons. If you've ever wondered just how the overheated British bible maintains its status as an innovator in pumping up bands until they're ready to pop, this Alex Miller write-up—which gave the album a 9 out of 10—is a pretty good primer; not only does it name-drop Damon Albarn, Aleister Crowley, and Buzz Aldrin, it tells both history and trustafarians to fuck off.
After the jump, we pick out the crucial ingredients from the NME's cauldron of day-glo hype.
THE DEMOLISHING OF THE TREND THAT THE NME LET LOOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE
"Klaxons? They're just a bunch of new rave scenesters, right? Wrong. When new rave's legacy has become little more than a serotonin drought in the brains of its disciples, 'Myths Of The Near Future' will remain one of the most dynamic, intense and totally lunatic pop records of the early 21st century."
THE DISMISSAL OF THE PAST (BEFORE A BUNCH OF NAME-DROPS)
"Fuck genres, fuck trends, fuck history, this band are only concerned with reshaping guitar music... forever."
THE "WAIT, WE THOUGHT YOU SAID 'FUCK HISTORY'" MOMENT
"One moment Klaxons are lending their blood-boiling guitars and serotonin-chugging sirens to Grace's pure pop '90s dance smash 'Not Over Yet', the next drawing a burning line in the sky between Nostradamus, Dizzee Rascal and Sex Pistols on the psycho-apocalyptic 'Four Horsemen Of 2012'."
THE BREATHLESS COMPARISON TO MYTHICAL FIGURES, LIKE UNICORNS AND THE ARCTIC MONKEYS
"Today this country is blessed with many poets of the mundane, from Arctic Monkeys to The View to The Twang, but Klaxons are different - self-styled prophets of the insane. Magic, the Cyclops, ecstasy, Buzz Aldrin, sunken cities, hypnosis, Aleister Crowley, unicorns and time-travel... These are the things which concern this record. "
THE SHOEHORNED-IN STROKES NAME-DROP
"Whether Klaxons will reshape our world into a fluorescent myth-tropolis as successfully as The Strokes turned the mono-tune remains to be seen, but their debut has the anatomy necessary to change the course of a generation."
THE REVIEW-CLOSING BENEDICTION
"Somewhere in between this life and the next, from the scattered shards of the past and of the future, Klaxons have built a magical and dangerous world all of their own and now, by the grace of God, it is ours as well."
THE "WE'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS RECORD, WE CAN'T EVEN GET ITS NAME RIGHT" FAUX PAS
Myths Of The Future? There's a word missing there, guys. But we understand if your copyeditor's eyes were crossing by that point.
Reviews: Klaxons: Myths Of The Future [NME, via I Love Music]
Comments
The Twang
Hmmm. Kill me.
Are the Klaxons the Birdland of 2007?
They're not even the Fabulous of 2007.
I am but a caveman! Your new-rave ways frighten and confuse me!
I don't wanna split hairs or anything, but how are the 90's considered history?
My comment is only funny if you're looking at this.
The Klaxons are the Go West of 2007.
how are the 90's considered history
I think kind of in the same way as the Black Plague and the Third Reich.
Rave, grunge, and crap like Chili Peppers and Rage died for a reason. Because, by and large, it was terrible.
The "fuck history" is a mind-boggling moment, considering NME itself has coined this the NEW RAVE movement, which, if logic follows, couldn't exist without the RAVE movement. Runner-up is "...forever," which I can only read in the voice of Gob Bluth.
Thank God I'm here to pummel dead horses...forever.
"not only does it name-drop Damon Albarn, Aleister Crowley, and Buzz Aldrin, it tells both history and trustafarians to fuck off."
This alone blew my mind, but then reading the rest of the quotes... Damn.
I mean, I've been exposed to some unfiltered NME before, but never like that. It's the sort of writing so radioactive as to give superpowers to the lucky readers, and many, many cancerous tumors to the unlucky ones.
The majority of the new hot indie bands now were influenced by the 90's more than any other decade. Pavement more than the "grunge" bands. A lot of the popular UK bands are influenced by a lot of the showgazers from that time also. There was some great music coming out in the early 90's.
NME, the only place where using terms like "new-rave" and "guitar pop" will not only not get you punched in the face, but also are actually welcomed and dropped frequently. Ok, maybe Zane Lowe's show, too. I do agree with the enemy's score of Myths Of The Future, it is one of the best records I've heard so far this year.
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