Idolator
Maybe our readers really do memorize Pitchfork before they decide to go CD shopping. In the first installment of our weekly "Pick of the 'Fork" poll, one-third of you correctly spotted the fake sentence—"What's left is the sort of car-wreck Eno-sans-ennui spectacle that inevitably ensues when a tragic hero overreaches."—that we tried to pass off as Pitchforkian. Well done, everyone! We think.
Below, a breakdown of the three other contenders, including the subject, the reviewer, and the all-important Pitchfork rating.
"... Brian May's pomp-adore meets Ziggy's eyeliner and GN'R's grand illusions in a spectacle of crashing chandelier proportions." My Chemical Romance, "Welcome to the Black Parade" (three stars from Ryan Dombal; 234 votes)
"I sense that dancing away this terror will be about as effective as loving away war, but I like the idea of trying." The Capitol Years, Dance Away the Terror (a 7.8 from Joe Tangari, and 189 votes)
"It's the emotional distance that makes the genre so mysteriously bittersweet, and the song so much more than polyester pageantry." Escort, "Starlight" (four and a half stars from Roque Strew, and 95 votes)
Comments
The giveaway for me was "Eno-sans-ennui," which would set the bar high for meaninglessness in rock journalism.
...although my vote should probably be disqualified then for giving the editors of Pitchfork so much credit.
Hell, you included an Eno reference. I thought for sure it was Pitchfork. In truth, I stopped reading their reviews long ago. I just look at the numbers.
Pitchfork has been reduced to 0-10, ouch.
I also really thought the Eno reference would be straight outta Pitchfork. I really stopped reading everyone there (with the exception of Sam Ubl)... especially when I found out that Justin Timberlake is scoring 8.1's. Call me a rockist but how the hell did we get there.
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