Idolator
Oh, Lordy. We've just been alerted to the presence of Love God's Way, a Christian website that seeks to catalog every "gay band" they can find. And what a random, ill-informed, potentially libelous list they have! After the click-through, a musical line-up that's even better than Coachalla.
One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy.
Bands to watch out for
* The Spores
* Scissor Sisters
* Rufus Wainwright
* Merzbau
* Ravi Shankar
* Wilco
* Bjork
* Tech N9ne
* Ghostface Killah
* Bobby Conn
* Morton Subotnik
* Cole Porter
* Eagles of Death Metal
* Polyphonic Spree
* The Faint
* Interpol
* Tegan and Sara
* Erasure
* Le Tigre
* The Gossip
* The Doors
* Phish
* Queen
* The Strokes
* Sufjan Stevens
* Morrissey
* The Pet Shop Boys
* Metallica
* Judas Priest
* The Village People
* The Secret Handshake
* The Rolling Stones
* David Bowie
* Frankie Goes to Hollywood
* Man or Astroman
* Richard Cheese
* Jay-Z
* Depeche Mode
* Kansas
* Ani DiFranco
* Fischerspooner
* John Mayer
* The Indigo Girls
* Velvet UndergroundIn Our effort to keep this list up to date we'd appreciate your help. If you know of a band that is Gay or propogating a Gay message please email us so we can update. Donnie is handling this his email is: [redacted].
The response is overwhelming. You guys know of a lot more Gay Bands than I do. I can't keep up. Hopefully soon we'll have it so you can add them by yourself.
Whaa? Ghostface? Jay-Z? Man Or Astroman? (They must have overheard the name of that last one wrong). And we're not even going to try to stop our heads from spinning from that Sufjan reference. But it's not all bad! The site also lists some "safe bands":
We know that it can be difficult to differentiate what is good or bad for your child. With that in mind Love God's Way has created this powerful tool to let you see some bands and entertainment that is safe for your children.
Safe Music:
* UnderOath
* Falling Up
* Flyleaf
* THE TURNING
* Disciple
* P.O.D
* By The Tree
* Scott Reed
* Michael W. Smith
* Jars of Clay
* DC Talk
Come on now, people: Flyleaf isn't safe for anyone.
List of Gay Bands [Love God's Way]
Comments
OMG did anyone go watch the Youtube video on the Donnie Davies "about" page? Jayzus!
Now maybe people will believe me when I tell them what a gentle lover Ghostface was.
If your child is really in to Merzbow, them being gay is gonna be the least of your issues with them.
Wilco? I mean, seriously...Wilco???
Wilco = still closeted.
This is suspiciously like that "noise band" thing from last year, which turned out to be some poorly veiled promotion for some band.
Phish = teh ghey
I'm eagerly awaiting Ghostface's diss track on Love God's Way.
The Donnie Davis "about" page is pretty rippin'. There's some very quote-worthy stuff on the whole site though. A personal favorite from the "Gay?" page: "The journey to normalcy isn't an easy one..." Boy Donnie, you ain't kidding.
Metallica made me gay.
Kansas is so obvious. They haven't caught on to Foghat yet, though.
Add Of Montreal and this could look more like some shitbag scenester's playlist.
wait... i've got it!
God does exist, and he's a hipster douchebag!
WTF dudes, Sufjan?!
Are these guys outing their own double-agent?
My head hurts.
This must be the first list to lump together Cole Porter and Judas Priest.
Ravi Shankar?? Norah Jones has some explaining to do, then.
To be fair, Kirk Hammett has always seemed a bit fruity to me.
Ravi Shankar!? Eh, one of these kids is not like the others.
Guys! We really need to help him out here. Let's all send him our band "outings"! I'm sure we can get Eminem on there if we try hard enough!!
Yeah, the kids are always listening to Kansas, Cole Porter and Ravi Shankar on their iPods.
Kirk Hammett played a guitar solo on a Pansy Division song or something, didn't he?
Pansy Division, btw, is conspicuously absent from Donnie's list.
Possibly even more disturbing -- they cite "Oscar Wilde (reformed homosexual)" on the actual site.
Reformed homosexual!? Oscar Wilde!?
... Also, does anyone else start humming Psychedelic Furs when they see this organization's name?
Merzbow and Morton Subotnick made me gay, and then they made me deaf.
Glide or Astroglide?
If you go to site of this guy's band, and watch his new video, it's obvious that this is a prank. Lyrics" God hates fags...". I know Chrstians have been rough at times(i am one.. hehe), but this is pretty much making fun of any osrt of Christian effort to approach the subject filtered through belief system. Anyways, just thought i'd debunk this thing.. :)
That's embarrassing. God must have punished me for writing, then deleting, a not-too-funny comment about Kirk Hammett's frequent and enthusiastic contributions to Guitar Player's 'Trading Licks' column.
hmmm, Morton Subotnick?
well, done. Very subtle. Very Fake
http://www.eveningservice.com/Video
Oscar Wilde, a reformed homosexual?
http://www.lovegodsway.org/
funny...
[edit] VanTwee and Halfwit, beat me to it.
Wait, the Village People are gay???
Feel free to be a drug addict (I'm looking at you, Michael W. Smith), but heaven forbid that someone suggest a member of your band might be gay.
uhm...sufjan stevens is like...christian or some shit.
WHY NO MENTION OF TURBONEGRO?!?!!!???
R.E.M. seems to have escaped their wrath.
Danielson has been added to the Safe list (despite Sufjan's outing)!
Guys! We really need to help him out here. Let's all send him our band "outings"! I'm sure we can get Eminem on there if we try hard enough!!
I suspect that's already happening. Half that list sounds like a practical joke.
So what if, say, a gay person runs a record company? Does that mean a blanket condemnation of the entire roster? I don't understand the rules.
Guys! We really need to help him out here. Let's all send him our band "outings"! I'm sure we can get Eminem on there if we try hard enough!!
Actually, it would be best if we could convince them to put Eminem on the Safe list (thanks to his staunch anti-gayness)...
Merzbau? Christians can't do a little spell-checking?
Noticeably missing:
Marilyn Manson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, any band that ever had Dave Navarro in it, REM, KD Lang, come on guys!
Come on. You guys are savvier than that. This is a parody intended to light up the viral YouTube wires. There are clues everywhere, including on the band's about page where they mention that living close to the chemical plants inspires them.
I live in the Deep South, was raised in the Baptist church, and I can tell you, this is a ruse to generate buzz. And apparently, it's working!
Hmm. So where is hiding in plain sight Zakk Wylde ("all the gayness and all pathetic-ness you've come to expect from Black Label" "BLACK LABEL puts gay into gayness")?
So I shouldn't be patting myself on the back for getting them to add Hinder, Nickleback, Clay Aiken, Corinne Bailey Rae, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Bright Eyes, Motorhead and Justus Kohncke to the list??
What about TATU? How did the fake lesbians not make the list?
Dude.
P.O.D. is WAY gay.
@wondergoodtx
Hot lesbians don't count. Only the ugly ones count.
Hot lesbians are A-OK in these folks' worldview, apparently.
Everything I know about transexuals, homosexuals, metrosexuals and bisexuals, I learned from the sci-fi sample-powered surf rock of Man Or Astroman?
And I'm positive I'm not the only one.
more like HIV+ you're the only one. zing!
where's the gayrilla biscuits love? consider my heart broken.
^not the only one.
I always thought that Silver Apples of the Moon was a totally fruity title. (Sorry!)
You always knew Carry on Wayward Son would come back to haunt Kansas. Religion kicks ass.
And all this time, the commenters at Punknews.org had me convinced that Underoath was gay! Thank you, Jesus, for setting the record "straight"!!
It could be fake, and if so, we will hang our heads in shame for about three seconds for not posting the obligatory fence-straddling "Is this a joke?" kicker, and then move on. But I thought it was real for two reasons:
- It had the sort of random, information-deprived looniness that you sometimes find when someone unfamiliar with the popular cultural steps in to condemn it.
- If it is a hoax, what's the point? Is it to prove how quickly we'll all jump in to stereotype the Christian right as a bunch of cranks? Maybe-but if so, it seems somewhat slight, because proving that a bunch of Wilco fans are going to defend Wilco's straightness is hardly revelatory.
Judas Priest ain't gay, and I'll bum anyone that says they are.
What about Rascall Flatts? The Oak Ridge Boys? Toby Keith? The San Francisco Gay Men's Choir?
This reminds me of back in the day, when I was in high school. A Christian group heavily fliered my school about a presentation they were giving about rock acts who would lead your children down a path to Satan and drugs and promiscuous sex. Among the list were such rabble rousers as ABC, Harry Connick Jnr, Billy Ray Cyrus, REM, Kylie Minogue and Vanilla Ice.
Oh how we laughed.
actually, listening to abc really will make you gay.
Ghostface must be pissed!
No Bob Mould, either, weirdly...
Gotta be a hoax. No one that ignorant could possibly spell Sufjan correctly.
I particularly enjoyed the Dresden Dolls' inclusion on the "Safe Bands" page.
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