Idolator

I went to a college party earlier this year, and some girls (probably 21 or so) jammed this song a few times and caterwauled along to it. I thought I was gonna die. Then came Garth Brooks. Yep. I felt like Murtaugh.

Things get a little easier, once you understand.
Things get a little easier, once you understand.
Things get a little easier, once you understand.

Honestly, I think my personal hell champion in this category is "What if God Was (*cringe*) One of Us?" Her Holmes Brothers production credits not withstanding, Joan Osbourne is dead to me with that song. And that grammar.

This song always has been reprehensible. There are plenty of 90's "alterna-hits" or whatever the fuck we're calling them that I can look back on and laugh at...Spin Doctors, anyone? But godDAMN, 4 Non Blondes have always infuriated me. The fucking yodeling/caterwauling...the stupid faces she makes with her hideous clown makeup. The pointless raver headgear ensemble, the clunky combat boots, the cheesily spiteful name that should have been laughed out of every "progressive" coffee shop they played at. This is really one of the few songs where I am completely baffled as to why it was a hit. There is simply nothing appealing about whatsoever. It fails on every possible level.

I think we've finally discovered the fashion inspiration for "Mystery" from "The Pick-Up Artist."

It's better than "On Eagles Wings."

I'm not sure how well this song would translate to the accordion. I'm sure Weird Al would have tried it if there was any chance of it working, or at least not sounding like a burlap sack filled with rabid tomcats.

I loved the 90s.

...but if you do know of something more heinous, I'd almost certainly like to know what it is, if only so I can change my funeral plans.

Anything by Insane Clown Posse.

And, "ironically", today Linda Perry is considered quite an excellent songwriter and producer and is highly sought out [Pink, Xtina, Gwen, etc.]

But on the other hand, she's also responsible for James Blunt.

[en.wikipedia.org]

I remember hearing this song for the first time while taking the gondola up to the top of Whiteface Mountain, in the Adirondacks in upstate New York. It was playing from a boombox in the gondola operator's station. I sort of liked the bridge, although at the time I didn't know what a bridge was.

I was 16, working at a weekend retreat for rich folks from NYC.

It was a boring summer.

Let's not forget that this woman is now one of the most successful pop songwriters of the past 5 years. WTF.

(xpost with dhmbib)

@GovernmentNames: I believe you mean "What's goin' on?!"

in a complete role reversal for me, I kind of like this song. Not so much for the music, but for the sheer nostalgia it induces in me. This came out, and was played relentlessly, during one of the best summers of my life. So, while I will never voluntarily listen to it, I love it for the way it can instantly invoke in me so many great feelings and memories. This and 'Today was a good day' by Cube totally hit that summer.

... and I said 'Heyyyyyyyyy-yay-yay-yay, heyyyyyyyy-yay-yay-yay, uh, what's goin on?'

@DHMBIB: Absolutely -- and I view her entire career as a songwriter as her lifelong penance for "What's Up."

At this point, thanks to Xtina's magnificent "Beautiful" and Pink's still-fun "Get the Party Started," I'd say she's about one-twentieth of the way toward making up for her 4 Non Blondes career. Gotta long, long way to go.
Also, I must point this out since no one has yet: try singing the lyrics to "Don't Worry, Be Happy" while you're playing the 4NB song. Yes, there is a way that song can get worse!

The kid who used to pick on me in middle school LOVED this song.

I 'm sorry the New Radicals "Get What you've Give"(?) is worse. I always hoped Marilyn Manson,Hanson, and Courtney did beat up the guy....

@SloanePeterson: Wow, can I get some backup here from the peanut gallery? "You Get What You Give" is a great song, one of the best one-hit-wonders of the past decade. Joni Mitchell actually claims it inspired her to come out of retirement!

P.S. to Jess: You asked what's worse. I'd say the 1989 remix of Marcia Griffiths's "Electric Boogie," a.k.a., "The Electric Slide," is the worst song of the rock era.

Honestly, it's not so bad, though maybe everyone is right that it could just be the nostalgia talking. And it's about a million times less annoying than "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)."

@dennisobell: I'll second that. I spent some time in Australia about 3 years ago and someone I lived with played the more obscure follow up, "Someday We'll Know" constantly so I have a soft spot for the New Rads.

@dennisobell: I'm with you. And speaking of great bridges, "You Get What You Give" has one.

@SloanePeterson: I love that New Radicals song. It really makes me feel happy.

Maura will kill me, but I HATE "Buffalo Stance."

i'm with you, dennisobell, that new radicals song is one of the better hits of the 90s. dude loved his bucket hats.

@ascot-revival: I think Aerosmith is an awful band. Just terrible. I might like about five songs.

What really makes this so bad is the confidence with which it's sung. She's absolutely positive she's tapped into some sort of universal Gen-X sentiment.

It's worth noting that there is a dance remix to this thing that manages to combined it with "What is Love?" by Haddaway into some sort of uber-dance-trance catastrophe.

Agreed on both the New Radicals (great song).

Oddly enough, as I move into the curmudgeonly-old-man of my life, I find that I listen only to a more constricted set of music, which means the likelihood that I hear a song that I hate over and over is pretty slim.

Instead, I can still continue hate "Under the Bridge."

And forget to write "continue TO hate."

C'mon, this can't be the worst song ever...It's not even the worst 90s song...That would be the immortal 4 "words": "MMMMMM MMMMM MMMMM MMMM"

@Lucas Jensen: Yeah, but I think "Dude" goes far above and beyond the rest of their catalog. Inane subject matter, vocals repeatedly screaming that hook, bloated '80's production, those wailing horns...I'm getting a migraine just thinking about it.

It must be said that 4 Non Blondes' drummer Dawn Richardson played on the Loud Family's Interbabe Concern, which is widely considered to be one of their masterpieces. She adapted perfectly to Scott Miller's experimental approach. She probably could have had a low-key career as an indie drummer for hire, a la Janet Weiss or Jon Wurster.

Has everyone else slalomed around the "What's Up?" techno mix? Torturous enough to end Boyd Rice's career.

@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Amen.

This isn't a particularly good song, but I'm not sure it merits "Worst Song Of All Time" contention.

I nominate that "Sex and Candy" song by Marcy's Playground. Good lord, I hate that song.

Try as it might, it will never beat "Kokomo". That song is pure evil.

Runaway Train makes me want to stick pins in my eyes.

If you played "What's Up" back to back with the Cranberries' "Zombie" I'm pretty certain that my head would explode. At least I would hope so.

@dennisobell: You're absolutely right. One of the best one-hit-wonder songs of the 90's. Always played it at my DJ gigs. Always.

And "Buffalo Stance" -- also awesome. Whatever the hell happened to Neneh Cherry anyway?

I just had a brilliant thought. How about Neneh Cherry returns with an album produced by Linda Perry and featuring the New Radicals [with Danielle Brisebois]? That would be like seven kinds of awesome.

After Clint Holmes' "Playground In My Mind" in the '70s, anything else song can only be history's second-worst song.

I think Neneh Cherry should hook up with her old Slits pals now that they've reformed.

I'm starting to feel like I'm on this level of hell:

Thanks to the Best Show on WFMU I know a worse song: "Cowboy Star" by Ambrosia.

Don't nobody better be sayin nothin bad about Miss Cherry cause thats when Miss Benita go off! I actually had the pleasure of having Neneh bum a cigarette off of me at a club in London a couple of years ago (before the cigarette ban). She's not as svelte as she used to be, but she's still as fierce as ever.

Now as for worst song ever, I'd have to nominate Calvin Harris' craptastic "The Girls" which seriously makes me worry about the kids of today. I know its supposed to be "ironic" but everytime I hear it I feel the sudden need to vomit which would certainly be great if I were bulimic.

@lastclearchance: I dunno, when Tom pit it against "Porcupine Pie" I figured the Neil Diamond song came across worse -- Ambrosia's failed grandiosity was awful, but nothing tears at my gut more than failed whimsy.

Then again, both of 'em are passages from A Love Supreme compared to "Dear Mr. Jesus".

@DHMBIB: Didn't Neneh Cherry just change her name to Nelly Furtado?

@SloanePeterson: Standing with you on that one. That song was AWFUL, makes me slightly nauseous every time I hear.

Honestly (if I may dwell), I never understood the total love for that song. Fun ditty, maybe. A song that you dug that summer... okay. But one of the greatest one hit wonders of the decade? God, no!

I agree on the 4 Non Blondes song - if anybody tried to play that at my funeral I would come back from the dead to whoop their ass. Another entry in the annoying screaming dept. = The Reason by Hoobastank.

As long as the big record companies continue to buy each other up, the shittiest song in history is always just around the corner.

@magic1: Hoobastank? Theybastank!

Eh, everything that's been mentioned so far cowers before the sight of Freak Nasty's "Da Dip".

For someone who unabashedly worships pure eurocheese like Culturebeat's "Mr. Vain" and Technontronic's immortal trilogy of singles, my vote is for the unbelievably painful and horrible "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex. My ears bleed just thinking about it.

On on the underrated one-hit wonders topic branched from "You Get What You Give" (a great tune, btw), I submit Londonbeat's "I've Been Thinking About You" for consideration.

Da Dip is a work of genius next to What's Going On. It's not just bad, it makes me mad when I hear it. Even thinking about it now I want to beat myself with the keyboard. Maybe you could find some competition with the early works of Counting Crows… Maybe

Okay - Cotton Eye Joe is pretty bad

Worse songs:
"Intuition" by Jewel, and "My Love Is The Shhh..."

@natepatrin: Please don't let them hurt the children.

It should be noted that Linda Perry, after leaving 4 Non Blondes, signed James Blunt.
Jesus does that woman hate peoples ears.

the worst song of the 90's, if i'm not mistaken, is i believe, by blessid union of souls. and it has nothing to do with their shitty-ass name, either.

Sorry if this is genre-hopping, but that "Back at One" song by Brian McKnight induces severe (yet...restrained) throat-vomiting every time. I mos def hate all that utterly banal, saccharine, faux R&B more than this flannel fluff.

This is actually a very good song.

In all seriousness, I'd be interested to have someone tell me what's wrong with it.

There was a lot of godawful shit out in the 90s, so much so that I pretty much stopped listening to new music for 8 or 9 years there. There are a lot of sacred cows from that decade who, objectively, often made much worse music that this. I'm looking at you, Nirvana, Pearljam and Alice in Chains, among others.

At least this is melodic and lyrically competent, which puts it ahead of 99% of grunge.

I could honestly live out the rest of my life very happily if I were to never hear another Alice in Chains song ever again. Thankfully, I know what station *not* to turn to in order to make this dream come true...ahem, K-Rock.

Oh, and you can also tack any song ever written by Coolio onto that wish.