Is There Trouble In Paradise? There’s One Word That Might Be Able To Save Your Relationship
Getting into a fight with a partner can be devastating. It causes a rift in the relationship, one that not every couple is able to overcome or move past. One fight can cause irreversible damage, and the tricky thing is, it can be near-impossible to see these fights coming.
Thankfully, there's an easy thing you can do that'll both help prevent arguments from happening and help calm any arguments that arise anyway.
Finding a relationship that works for you is tough but not impossible, especially not with this one professionally-designed tactic.
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What Does It Take?
There exists no relationship without strife, without struggle, and without work. Love is a constant act that needs to be built and improved upon so it can adapt as the world changes around it. Many couples are able to weather the various storms of life, but some hit a wall and struggle to find a resolution to the troubles they're facing alongside their partner.
What if there was an easy way to save a relationship from the brink? A small tip that, if used correctly, could drastically improve your relationship?
One Small Change
Thankfully, there is.
A 2015 study published in the journal Personal Relationships outlined the role that gratitude plays in a relationship, especially in the face of distress (specifically financial distress). The results showed that couples with more frequent expressions of gratitude have higher quality marriages and a reduced likelihood for divorce.
It doesn't have to be complicated either. Something as small as saying "thanks" more often is enough to make your relationships a happier one.
Strength In Appreciation
As Dr. Ted Futris, co-author of the study, wrote, "We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last."
The recommended implementation of this mindset was to appreciate your spouse more actively, acknowledge when they've done something nice for you, and vocalize that acknowledgment with gratitude or praise.
Happier To Be Thankful
The study involved 468 couples who were asked to rate the quality of their marriages as well as how they express their gratitude for one another. There was a very clear correlation between high levels of gratitude and highly-rated marriages.
Dr. Allen Barton, another co-author, said, "It goes to show the power of 'thank you'. Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes."
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Miscommunications
Increased gratitude also helps combat negative patterns in relationships, namely one called 'demand/withdraw.'
As Dr. Barton explained, "Demand/withdraw communication occurs when one partner tends to demand, nag or criticize, while the other responds by withdrawing or avoiding the confrontation.
"Although wife demand/husband withdraw interactions appear more commonly in couples, in the current study we found financial distress was associated with lower marital outcomes through its effects on increasing the total amount of both partners' demand/withdraw interactions."
Gratitude's Power
"Importantly, we found that when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability."
So not only does regular gratitude help maintain happiness, it also dispels discord, for even in the midst of stress, a couple is more likely to remember and appreciate the good they see in one another.
Preventative And Restorative
Even with this tip, there's no way to guarantee an argument-free relationship. You have to learn how not just to avoid arguments but how to defuse them when they inevitably happen.
Dr. Futris explained it best when he wrote, "All couples have disagreements and argue. And, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments."
"What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don't is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis."
