When It Comes To Grieving, There Are No Rules For Healing, You Must Find Your Own Path

Daniel Mitchell | December 11, 2024 9:00 pm

We all face something in our lives that we must heal from. Loss, betrayal, trauma, and pain, they're all difficult to come back from, but the strength of the human spirit never fails, and so we overcome.

That journey, though, that path we must trek, looks different for everybody. There's no one set or best way to heal. It is something we have to learn as we go, which means it's going to look different for everyone who chases it.

There are few things as impactful as trauma faced in childhood. It's something that can affect you years, decades down the line, following you like a shadow.

But it doesn't have to stay that way. Click here to start identifying the roots of your trauma that still live within you and how to get rid of them forever.

Walking The Path

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Healing is often talked about as though it's a straight path, a clear journey with milestones everyone hits at the same time, but the truth is that there is no single roadmap. Healing is deeply personal, and what works for one person might feel entirely wrong for another.

Think about how people grieve or process hard times. Some need space, quiet, and time to sit with their feelings. Others feel better when they lean on friends, talk things through, or stay busy. Neither way is wrong, just different, shaped by each person’s experiences, personality, and needs. Healing isn’t about following a checklist. It’s about finding what feels right for you, and sometimes, that’s the hardest part.

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Band-Aid Solutions

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One of the challenges of healing is the advice we're often given. You might hear, "You should meditate," or “Exercise will help you feel better,” or “Just focus on the positives," generic bits of advice that do nothing to solve the underlying problems. These suggestions can be helpful, but they’re not magic solutions for everyone.

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It's easy to feel frustrated, eve discouraged, when you’ve ever tried something that’s supposed to help but didn’t. It’s easy to think, “What’s wrong with me? Why isn’t this working?” And the answer is nothing, truly. You're just different from the person who gave the advice. We all are.

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Trial And Error

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Healing isn't necessarily about finding the "right" method, though that does help. It's more about exploring, trying, and figuring out what resonates with you. Sometimes, that means things that help others won't work for you, and things that help you might seem unthinkable to others, and neither of them are bad!

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Some days, healing might look like taking a walk or journaling your feelings. Other days, it might look like letting yourself cry, resting, or simply getting through the day. None of these are wrong. Healing doesn't have to look productive or pretty to be real.

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Bends And Breaks

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Another myth about healing is that it's supposed to be a steady climb, where every day is better than the last. While ideal, that's rarely ever the case. Healing often looks more like a scribble than a straight line. You might feel okay for a while, then suddenly find yourself back in the dark place you thought you had left.

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This doesn’t mean you’re failing, regressing, or going backward. It just means healing is complex. Emotions and memories don’t always follow a predictable pattern, so sometimes, it’s two steps forward, one step back. What matters is that, overall, you’re moving toward growth, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

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All For You

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One of the most important things to remember on this journey is to be kind to yourself. It's easy to get caught up in what you "should" be doing or to compare your healing process to someone else's. There are no expectations to meet here, no person or story you should be striving for. It's about honoring where you are right now.

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Give yourself permission to take things one step at a time. Celebrate small victories, like getting out of bed when it feels impossible or reaching out for support when you're struggling. These moments might seem small, but they’re meaningful, because they build and grow until you feel comfortable in their presence, thus more comfortable in your healing.

You can overcome that trauma you've been holding onto, learn how by clicking here today.

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Follow The Flow

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Because healing is so personal, it's important to trust your instincts. That doesn’t mean you have to figure everything out on your own though, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. It's good even! Therapists, friends, support groups, or even books can offer valuable advice, guidance, or even just an ear to listen when you need it most. At the end of the day, you’re the one who gets to decide what feels right for you.

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You might try something and realize it’s not helpful. That doesn't mean it was a waste. Each step teaches you more about what you need and what doesn’t serve you.

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In The End

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Finally, and maybe most importantly, remember that healing takes time. There's no deadline, there's not even a set finish line. It's okay to move at your own pace, whether that’s slow and steady or full of stops and starts. Healing isn’t a race, it’s a process of finding peace within yourself, however long that takes.

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You're allowed to feel lost. You’re allowed to feel unsure. You’re allowed to figure it out as you go. Healing is yours to define, meaning there's no wrong way to do it. The important thing is to keep going, to keep exploring, and to trust that even when it doesn’t feel like it, you’re moving forward.